《Ballet Shoes》Chapter 21

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Outside, she quickly made her way along the wooden bridge to the grounds. There was no sign of the familiar black dog, trawling the edges of the trees, but that didn't put her off. Gritting her teeth against the cold, she walked as confidently as she could through the snow, until she reached the trees. She glanced over her shoulder to make sure no one could see her, and then slipped between the first set of trees.

She had been certain she would be able to find Black's hideout again, but as she journeyed through the trees, she found her confidence wavering. Was it to the left at the big rock, or right? The cold began to burrow deeper into her, and she shivered, but pushed herself forward, stumbling through the snow.

Even when she finally found Black's dingy little den, she almost didn't recognise it, half buried in the snow as it was. She got down on all fours and crawled through the gap in the wall, dragging the food behind her.

There was no one in there. Wherever Black was, it wasn't hidden out in his den, but it certainly didn't look like he'd be gone forever. His little knick-knacks were still strewn over the floor, and there were mixtures of boot and paw prints that hadn't yet been snowed away. Lilleth figured he hadn't been gone long, and sat down on the snow to wait. She regretted not bringing her scarf and gloves and hat, and pulled her cloak tighter around her. Still, at least she had jeans and a warm jumper, rather than her thin school uniform, although her shoes were already soaked from the snow.

She didn't know how long she was sat there for, and she soon began to get bored. Her feet were cold and wet, and she was starting to regret coming. Every time she considered leaving, her stupid longing for real answers pulled her back.

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Her toes slowly traced a line through the snow in front of her, going in half a circle around her. She stretched out her left leg and placed a small dip in the snow above, then again on the right, until there was a small smile in the soft white powder ahead of her.

Suddenly, she heard a small cracking sound, and jumped to her feet, holding her wand out in front of her. She hadn't properly considered the dark and dangerous creatures that resided in the forest outside the den, and she didn't have the protection of... well, her father, she supposed. Her entire body tensed, rigid from fear.

The big, black dog sloped through the hole in the wall, and stopped short at the sight of her. She found her body relaxing, and slowly dropped her wand.

He transformed back into himself. They stared at each other for a few seconds.

"I brought you food." Lilleth blurted out at last. Her cheeks flushed a bright red colour from embarrassment. "I... I thought you might like something better than those rats or whatever you've been eating."

She held out the bag to him. He reached out a hand and took it.

"Thank you." he said, his voice hoarse.

"I'm sorry." she said. "For jinxing you, last weekend. I think I just got scared and needed to get away, and it was the first thing that came to mind."

"I was worried I wouldn't see you again." said Black. "I understand that what I told you was a bit of a shock."

"It was a bit, at first." Lilleth admitted. "But I think I've come around now. I'd far rather know that I have parents who took me in and loved me, instead of not knowing if anyone ever did."

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"We loved you so much." said Black softly. "Even if we didn't know you for very long. We had such plans. Remus was going to teach you to read, I was going to teach you to get in trouble, and you and Harry would be best friends."

"Well, the last part worked out." said Lilleth with a small smile. "We grew up together. We aren't always close, but we always have each other's backs. But..." she hesitated, afraid to ask the question she so desperately wanted to.

"You want to know why I say I'm innocent." said Black. There was no hint of bitterness or annoyance in his tone. "You want to know what happened the night James and Lily were killed."

She nodded, and took a seat back where she had been sitting before he came in, smoothing out her robes underneath her.

"How much do you know about the Fidelius Charm?" he asked.

"Nothing." she said shortly.

"It's a charm of protection that is placed on a building or area that means that only specific people know the location of, and only one person is able to tell other people. That person is called the Secret Keeper." said Black.

"That was you, wasn't it?" asked Lilleth. "Harry said he overheard Professor McGonagall saying that you were the Secret Keeper."

"I was." said Black, and a pang of regret flashed in his eyes. He looked down at the dead firepit and sat himself down on the snow opposite her. "James insisted. He told Lily and Dumbledore that I would die before I let them die. But he was wrong."

"So you did betray him?" asked Lilleth, and her hand gripped with slightly more vigour on the wand in her pocket. "You got Harry's parents killed?"

"Not directly. But as good as."

"I'm confused." said Lilleth. "You didn't betray them?"

"No." Black shook his head. "Although James wanted me to be the Secret Keeper, I told him to make Peter, one of our other friends, the Secret Keeper instead. I was James' closest friend, I'd be the first person the Death Eaters would suspect. But Peter? He was weak, he wasn't a strong fighter, and he hadn't been as close to us as usual. The Death Eaters would never suspect him. They agreed. What we didn't realise then was that he was a Death Eater, and the information we gave him was fed straight back to Voldemort."

"So you didn't betray them? You didn't lead to them dying?"

"I did though." said Black quietly. "I made them choose Peter. If I'd just stayed as Secret Keeper, none of this would have happened. I as good as killed them."

"It wasn't your fault." said Lilleth. "You weren't to know that Peter was a Death Eater."

"So you believe me then?" he asked, looking her straight in the eye. "You believe that I'm innocent?"

Lilleth smiled at him. "I believe you." she said. "But if you're lying and you kill me or Harry, I'm going to be very cross."

"And I would completely understand."

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