《Swan Lake - Larry Stylinson Ballet AU》Act XIX - Finale
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*
The Ballet Studio was full of tension, mainly between Harry and the rest of the crew. The music-for the first time in ages-had not been turned on, and the airman buzzed, and everyone just looked towards each other, back to Harry, and down at their feet.
It was almost Christmas. In five weeks was the show. Louis had been gone for almost a month and not once had Harry visited the graveyard. Maybe he should have, for the only bouquet there was from Niall, and it was withering such as the body within the grave.
Harry didn't dare to venture into a place that brought out death in a boy who'd had so much life. He didn't want to see the hearts around the two names on the headstone, didn't want to hear the silence when he was standing right beside a boy who could chatter on for hours on end about the things he'd loved. Harry had not been to Louis' grave, and he never would.
Instead, he payed his love to Louis by sitting for hours on end in his tiny back garden where he'd planted a little apple tree. Around the tree he'd planted wildflower seeds, and was waiting for spring so that they'd grow. He'd taken a knife and engraved Louis' name in the tree's trunk, and around the bare branches, he'd entwined the yellow ribbon. The whole garden was for Louis; a garden for a boy who'd never had the chance to dance barefoot on the grass or plant flowers or run his fingers through the pond water or just live.
That secret garden-the prettiest Harry could make of it-was Louis' heart.
In it were butterflies, birds full of song, sunlight that shone and warmed everything eternally. It was Louis' heart Harry was looking after, and still he was the only one who listened to its beating.
"So will you?" Lilly-Ann pleaded, just as she'd spent the last hour doing, "You can't let him down, not after everything he'd done. You must dance with someone else who'll Odette or forget about the show altoget-"
"No!" Harry snapped at her, "No. That show meant everything to him. I'll dance for him, even if it kills me, I will." He paused for a moment, vicious green eyes falling away from the faces who watched. "But.. I can't dance with anyone but him. With anyone but her. They're the only people in the world who have my heart, and I can barely stand without it."
Angela stepped up, her voice far too harsh when she said, "Of course you can, foolish boy. You're from a family of world famous Ballerinas. There is no one better than you. You can dance, Harry Styles. You can dance."
Harry looked at her, seething at the sight of them all, "You don't understand! I'm not like all of you, I can't do what you do. I can't dance without love. Love is the only thing I dance for and the only thing that guides me. To dance without a heart is like breathing with no air. It isn't possible for someone like me."
No one replied for a long while where Harry calmed himself. His head was spinning for some reason, and he had a headache. Perhaps his blurred thoughts were what made him finally say, "I'll dance with you, Lil'. I don't have a choice. I either dance with you or the show is cancelled. Again."
Lilly-Ann bent down to him to catch his eye; he looked at her. He'd always been like an older brother to her, ever since she could remember. He'd helped her get rid of bullies, helped her balance her school life with Ballet, had gone out of his way in giving her extra lessons to calm her nerves.. He'd changed her world and given her the life she dreamed of having, and it was finally her turn to give everything back.
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"I won't let you down." she said, "As for Rosaline and Louis; I'll dance better than I ever did before. I'll dance until I fall if I must, I'll make this show my very being. We'll give them the best tribute you could ever imagine so all I need is for you to trust me."
Harry watched her. His expression had calmed, but he did not smile. Louis, even if he'd never know it, had been the first to make the King of Ballet smile since Rosaline had passed, but he'd been the last, as well.
"Alright." Harry said, standing up. His leg clicked and he grunted before kicking back into place.
*
And before they knew it, Harry was dressed in a Prince's attire, Lilly-Ann wore a dress of white feathers, one Louis should have been wearing, with a tiara that Louis had been ecstatic to wear, and holding a ribbon, just as Louis had held his.
Harry turned away from her to the curtain. He opened it, just the slightest bit, and peered through the opening gap. The theatre was full of people, every seat taken by women in ballroom dresses, holding fizzing champagne, and men in fitted suits who smiled at their companions. They were all here to see the Swan Princess, and Harry couldn't help but feel like an imposter was wearing the pretty white dress and satin slippers.
"How many people are there?" Lilly-Ann asked, tiptoeing up to Harry on her toes while clipping the tiara to her head.
Harry looked her up and down, stomach twisting. "Booked full, as always."
"Of course, they're here for you; I'd expect nothing less. Everyone is here to see the King of Ballet."
"This is not my show." Harry said.
Lilly-Ann said no more after that.
After a long while of preparing, yelling, stressing and running around, the lights went low, and Harry-who stood on the stage to bow alongside Lilly-Ann and the other ballerinas-heard the crowd settle in their seats. He'd heard this sound a thousand times, from when he'd been in the crowds and watched his parents dance to when he himself had performed. The sound was not knew to him, yet this time it sent fear to poison his whole body until he was sure his vision was going blurry.
The curtain before them lifted and the crowd clapped and raised their champagne. Harry's vision was indeed blurry. The orchestra in the pit below was the clearest thing he could see, but even then he saw no faces, just shapes. He closed his eyes, tipped his body forward and bowed.
"You can do it." he heard Lilly-Ann whisper beside him. "For them."
And then, the show began.
Music in the orchestra played the songs perfectly, but it lacked the melody Harry knew would have been there if only he'd have been watching Louis instead of Lilly-Ann. She danced better than he'd ever seen her; perfect steps, perfect pose, perfect everything. The crowd was captivated by her beauty, by the way her body melted to the song and submitted itself to every move she offered. She had the grace of a prima ballerina for sure, and the heart of a princess, and that was all a person needed to fall for her that night.
Harry had danced his part in the same way. There had not been a single slip, his prosthetics had held up just as they had the times before, and he'd danced just as well as he ever had. That, at the very least, was what the crowd saw and needed to whisper 'He's the King' to each other over and over, but the King didn't see himself as they did.
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He was on the verge of tears from the start, but those who knew him well wouldn't have expected anything less. He'd treasured Louis with his entire being, to not cry now would be impossible for anyone in his position. He'd danced with no confidence. He didn't lift his head and hold it there, but looked down at the ground or at the ceiling or anywhere where the crowds were not. His movements were unsure, as if he'd not been the one to rehearse the same step for days on end until he'd perfected it. He was a King to the crowd, but no one to himself-to Louis, and it angered him so much.
He stepped behind the curtain to the left of the stage and wiped his eyes with a hand. Angela and Robin were there to pat him on the back and praise him and give him the love he needed. He was doing well, and if Rosaline and Louis could see him now, they'd be so incredibly proud.
"I hate this.." He said to them, sitting down on a costume box. A woman offered him a bottle of water which he took a long drink out of as if the water could magically turn into alcohol. "I hate this so much.."
"I'm so proud of you." Angela said, and it was a surprise to hear the words come from her mouth. They didn't seem to fit. "Only the ending remains; the death of Odette which is now, and the Prince's ending."
"I can't do this anymore, I'm making a fool of myself and I'm ruining the show." He teared up again but Robin grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.
"My boy, you've got the world mesmerised. Keep going. Didn't you say that you'd dance for them even if it'd kill you on the way? Where's the boy who said that, eh?"
Harry paused. He looked at the stage to see the Swan Princess fall gracefully onto the ground, twirling around on herself until she lay completely still.
It brought pain to Harry's heart, so much that he thought it would burst.
"I'm here." He said, standing up and turning to the curtain. His face only showed anger now, simmering deep within himself and rising as fast as he breathed. He looked back at Robin with eyes he'd never given anyone before. They were mourning, yet electrifying with hatred and regret. "I'm here. I've always been here."
And then he ran out on the stage, jumping and turning around on himself as if God had created him especially for this. He'd been sculpted by the Heavens themselves, and nothing in the world-no ballerina nor angel-would ever have been more captivating than Harry.
But his eyes were streaming in tears, his face screwed in a pain burning more than arson. He danced with a heart that was cracked open and bleeding, with lungs that breathed in flames not air, and his body was ablaze upon that stage. No, it truly was on fire, he was sure of it. There was a pain in his thigh that sent shockwaves up his spine and into his arm. It crackled through is nape and into his brain making the world spin. He did not see where he danced, but the King danced nonetheless. It was almost over; almost time for him to sit on the floor and pretend he was dead. After that, it would all be over.
He'd leave town and go the cottage on the moors. He'd leave this life behind, the memories it held, and start a new one by himself. He'd make a new garden for Louis, larger than the last-God, he had the whole moors to make into the boy's heaven. Harry would live with Louis' heart around him; he'd work on the farm and milk the baby lambs that Louis had wanted to look after so much. He would sit in the bath and watch his rubber duck and just remember the way Louis had played with it, too.
He'd have the world to himself, and he'd never return to this place. He'd lived for Rosaline once, had lived for Louis after, and he decided then that he'd live for them eternally.
But there was one thought in his mind that-at that moment-made him stumble and catch himself. One horrid thought that ran around in his brain and tormented him. It tore his mind up, blurred his vision, cut his heart like paper cuts running through it.
And that thought was Louis' voice saying the only thing it desired to say then, 'You'll regret keeping secrets'
'It was you, wasn't it?' Harry thought as he danced on that stage in front of hundreds. He looked at the light which was supposed to be on him, but he didn't see it as brightly as it shone. 'Louis? You were my secret.'
And he was right. Louis had called out to Harry, but he'd not reacted just as others had not. Louis had known that only Harry could have done something to save him from his Mother, but Harry hadn't, and now the little boy in Mickey Mouse plasters was dead.
Harry jumped in the air, stumbled on his feet and turned around. Uncountable eyes were fixed on the King, but he saw none. 'You were right, I regret it. I regret keeping you a secret.'
He landed on the ground once again and let his body fall to the floor in the centre of the stage. He turned to his hand, prosthetic fingers watching back like some horrid curse that had infiltrated his body. And the King of Ballet's beautiful green eyes were streaming with tears, his lips as pink as rose leaves parting and bleeding with the amount of times he'd bit into them. Just before he curled up on himself, as the curtain began to fall, Harry said,
"I wish I'd never kept you a secret."
The curtain touched the ground, and beyond it, hundreds of people stood to applaud. Their joy sent vibrations through the floor, their whistles rang like wedding bells in the air, and they cried out for an encore as did everyone who watched the King.
But Harry, from the darkness of the stage, remained curled up over himself. After a moment of whispering and calling to him, and looking at one another questioningly, the Ballet crew stepped aside to let Angela walk up to him. She grabbed his shoulder, "Harry, I told you to stay, but not this long-"
And then, she turned him around.
Harry had been a child to watch the world turn and dance his way through life. He'd been a boy who'd found love in a girl that shared his heart and passion. He'd found a boy who'd been covered in plasters and who'd piqued his interest from the moment their eyes had met. Harry had been a boy to breakdown night after night over a horrid pain in his leg until it was removed, but who'd gone against it to follow what he loved more than anything in the world. He'd lost an arm over it. Everything had come at him, but he was still just a boy looking for love.
And in the end, after everything he'd been through, his broken heart had killed him.
*
*
I hope that you enjoyed this tragedy as much as I enjoyed writing it. There are other books with happier endings on my profile if you'd like something happier.
You may be wondering if this really is the end, if it all ends just as quickly as it started, but it does. Harry wondered the same thing about Louis, that this couldn't possibly be the end because so much had been left unanswered. Death is not something slow and wonderful; it's fleeting. Death is not like in fairytales-it doesn't wait for happiness and resolution. Harry and Louis' lives ended as fast as they'd started, and it was so quick that even they didn't expect it.
The characters follow those in the original story of Swan Lake.
- Louis is Odette, eternally trapped by his Mother in his home at night, but by day he is free. Odette was eternally trapped as a swan from Von Rothbart's curse, but free by night.
- Mother is Von Rothbart, who obsessed over Odette such as Mother obsessed over Louis.
- Harry is Prince Seigfried, who in the beginning is found to be looking for a woman to marry. None please him until he meets Odette. Afterwards, when asked which woman he favours, the Prince says 'none'. Harry was in the same situation: he was intrigued by no one until he found Louis, and afterwards, he would dance with no one else.
- Shawn is Odile, but unlike Odile who chased the Prince's love, Shawn chased Louis'.
- In the final act of the Ballet, Odette and the Prince both died for Love's sake and because the world was too unkind.
Louis died because Mother's obsession prevented him from loving, just as Odette's curse to be a swan prevented her. Harry died for Love and Love alone; as did the Prince who died for Odette.
*
All I can say for now is thank you a million times over for giving this book love, and thank you for giving the people in it your love, as well. They needed it.
This is the final curtain call,
All of my heart, Lucy.
Written in memory of the Little boy in Mickey Mouse plasters and the King of Ballet.
01/11/94 and 24/12/94
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