《Until I Really Do》Chapter Seventeen
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The warm afternoon air moistened Sharon's skin, forcing her to tighten her hold on her scarf. It was a poor time to go on a walk and she was certainly in no mood for one, but Sharon could not decline this particular excursion. She had agreed to it for reasons ranging from her desperation to keep Gretchen as far away from Matthew, to her frustration at the knowledge that she could never truly separate the two. She remembered clearly the dull pain in her chest as she watched them kiss, and the stab of anger she had felt when she walked down to breakfast to find Gretchen perched on a seat beside Matthew. She had known then that they were meant for each other and the thought had done nothing but heighten her anger and desperation.
Sharon did not dare admit to it out loud, but she could only attribute her feelings to jealousy. Perhaps the part of her that had been willing to concede to staying married to Matthew was the part that suddenly felt betrayed by his actions?
She shook her head; she didn't know. Nothing made sense to her anymore and the more she walked —the angry sun beating down on their heads— the more convinced she was that agreeing to taking a walk at such a dreadful time of the day and with such a dreadful human being like Gretchen, had been a terrible mistake.
Pausing in her tracks on the sandy paths, Sharon turned to Gretchen. "Perhaps we must do this another time? The weather is dreadful and I'm just not feeling well."
"Oh?" Gretchen raised a brow in question. "You seemed fine this morning."
"I was,"
"Then you're fine now. It's only been a few minutes and unless you're lying, I don't suppose much could have changed since this morning."
"How dare you call me a liar?!" Sharon half screeched, angered by the woman before her. She truly did not believe herself capable of enduring Gretchen's presence for much longer.
"I did no such thing!" Gretchen sounded indignation. "I simply pointed out the impossibility in the change of the status of your health given the short space of time that has passed. I beg your pardon, Sharon, but your unwillingness to show me around the property like you so willingly volunteered to do before everybody at breakfast this morning, comes as an unpleasant surprise to me. I don't suppose Matthew would be able to show me around now."
Sharon rolled her eyes, exasperated. "Maybe you should take the walk yourself. You're gifted with two stable legs and are not in need of two extra legs, unless of course your plan is to have Matthew carry you around the property."
"I suppose this has been about Matt all along." She watched her intently. "Perhaps you're threatened by my presence here?"
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"Perhaps you're delusional." Sharon spat, irritated.
"Am I? Do not act like your volunteering to come on a walk with me was an act of kindness, Sharon, I know we all saw clearly who it was you were trying to keep me away from."
"And do not act like you didn't just kiss my husband a few hours ago!" Suddenly, the urge to reach out and grab the atrocious woman by her ridiculously red hair washed over Sharon.
Gretchen's lips fell open, her eyelids widening slightly with shock. Running her tongue over her bottom lip, she straightened. "Matt kissed me, alright? It is not my fault that he unable and unwilling to get over me!"
Her words were like a slap to Sharon's face. Fighting to keep her emotions in check, Sharon said, "I will excuse myself right away."
Turning around stiffly, she began retracing her steps back to the building. She fought to keep her shoulders straight, the truth of Gretchen's words settling on them and cruelly fighting to weigh them down. She forced her legs forward even if they trembled slightly beneath her, and she kept her chin up, even if the shame she felt urged her to bow her head.
Gretchen was right; Matthew was in love with her, not Sharon. She knew that, but having Gretchen throw it in her face proved too much for Sharon to bear. Perhaps it was the look in Gretchen's eyes; the look of triumph? Perhaps it was the implication of her words; the fact that not very long from now, the second Matthew comes into his inheritance, she would be forced to leave, to go back to a drunk gambling father, and a life of uncertainty?
Uncertainty was the life fate had chosen for her. She understood that once she returned to her father, she would be forced to live in the fear of him losing her once more in a bet. Even turning eighteen and gaining her independence from her father did not guarantee her freedom for she knew he was likely to still place her on the table of cards and sell her to a scoundrel such as Jenkins.
Jenkins was another slimy bastard Sharon knew she would be seeing the second her marriage to Matthew came to an end. Hadn't Jenkins already tried to force her to the courthouse after Matthew let her go the first time? She didn't put it past him to try again. She didn't put it past him to try to kidnap her!
When she reentered the building, Sharon was exhausted. Knowing very well that her fatigue was more psychological than it was physical, she settled on a chair in the kitchen and released a breath she knew very well she had been holding since she watched Matthew and Gretchen kiss that morning.
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Seated on the kitchen chair, the image reappeared before her eyes, the dull pain in her chest reappearing with it.
She must have been seated on the chair in the kitchen for nearly an hour, when the sound of the door opening drifted to her. Assuming it was Matthew and Gretchen back from their walk, Sharon considered sneaking up the stairs in an attempt to avoid them both. But she quickly dismissed the thought, knowing full well that she would barely make it up the first stair before being caught in her attempt and she hated for Gretchen to think she was running away from her —she hated for her to see the effect her words had on her.
The footsteps drew near, light against the wooden floor. Knowing it belonged to a female, Sharon settled back against her seat, thinking it belonged to Nana Lois, Grace or Elle. It certainly wasn't Gretchen's, who was no doubt somewhere secluded engaging in lewd activities with Matthew.
"There you are!"
Stiffening at the voice behind her, Sharon slowly turned around to indeed find Gretchen standing by the doorway.
"Have a clue where Matthew is?" She raised a brow in question and Sharon frowned, annoyed.
"Why would I know where he is?" She scoffed, turning back to stare at her hands that sat folded on the table.
"I mean, I know he mentioned having a few errands to run right after we kissed this morning..."
Slamming her fist on the table, Sharon sprang to her feet. Anger raced through her veins with such speed, her limbs trembled with it as she turned to consider the woman who had followed her from the fields back into the house only to mock her. It seemed like more than enough of an insult to have witnessed their kiss, but having Gretchen rub it in her face proved to be more than Sharon could handle.
"Really, Gretchen, I highly doubt you have to go about announcing your shameless act in public. I'm sure the entire town has had a taste of your venomous lips!" She said, trying and failing to keep her temper from erupting.
"I can assure you, only Matthew has." The annoying smile maintained its position on her face as she walked over to where Sharon stood by the table. Leaning forward slightly so that her lips brushed against Sharon's earlobe, she whispered, "He loved it enough to ask me to marry him." Her eyes caught fire.
Sharon felt the blood drain from her face, Gretchen’s words knocking the air out of her lungs. Stiffening, several questions raced through her mind in the span of two seconds —Matthew asked Gretchen to marry him?! Was that even possible? When did that happen? How did it happen?!
She knew he loved Gretchen but knowing the extent at which he loved her proved nearly too much for her own distressed emotions.
Still, she loathed herself for being surprised by the information for Matthew didn't marry her because he loved her; he married her because he had won a bet. He married her for his inheritance. He married her for his farm. There were many reasons Matthew Steiner brought her home with him, but love was not one of them.
She knew the truth —she scolded her overactive emotions. She knew everything and she agreed to it. She was being silly for letting the truth weaken and hurt her. The slow pounding of her heart against her chest was silly. The warm liquid that slid down her cheeks was silly.
"There, there, Sharon. I have no idea why Matthew married you but I'm pretty sure you are just a sport he is enjoying for the mean time. Perhaps it is due to my rejection, who knows?" She laughed triumphantly. "I will tell you one thing though," She leaned back, her smile broadening. "I'm here to claim what is mine."
Without stopping to consider her actions, Sharon reached out suddenly, her hand connecting with Gretchen's face.
She watched Gretchen's face turn red, the sound and impact of the slap reflecting the pain she felt in her heart.
"You little witch!"
Anticipating retaliation, Sharon's hand shot up with speed, her fingers clawing around Gretchen's wrist and holding it captive in mid air.
"You, Gretchen, are the witch." She said slowly, her voice heavy in her own ears, "a bitter, sad, desperate, witch." Tightening her hold on Gretchen's wrist as she wrestled to free herself, Sharon held her gaze. "Matthew is and will never be yours. We are married and I plan on staying true to our vows. Trust me," she leaned forward until her lips were only inches from Gretchen's. "The next time I see your foul, venomous lips go three inches close to my husband's lips, I will cut your tongue out and feed it to you!"
Releasing her hold on Gretchen, she turned sharply to leave the room. Anger blinded her, making it impossible to see the path before her until she was bumping into something at the entryway.
Taking a step back, her eyes settled on Nana Lois. She stood there by the doorway, her lips sealed, yet, the twinkle in her eyes reassured Sharon of what it was she knew she needed to do; fight. She would fight for her home and the man who was now her husband.
And hopefully, she thought, offering Nana Lois a curt nod before making her way past her— she was going to win.
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