[The following scene appears in chapter 35]

I couldn't stand to be away from the madly beautiful eyes of my girl for a day. But my daily visits to the Marquis' mansion suddenly came to an end.

As the second son of House Verita, I had to carry out my father's duties on behalf of my sick brother.

Even though I was only fifteen. This was on the Emperor's orders. He didn't like me hanging around the girl.

I was forced to follow my father out of the capital. I didn't have the power to resist at the time. I thought it would be a good occasion to prove my worth in anticipation of the day I would bring my little girl next to me.

***

[The following scene appears in chapters 39 and 40]

But when I returned to the capital the following spring, the girl was no longer alone. A man was circling around my lady, as if he had noticed her worth. A Knight in training.

When I saw my girl hanging on with him, smiling brightly, I felt like my heart was full of emptiness. It was the first time I felt like this. Controlling my rising annoyance, I hugged her proudly.

"Allen."

Damn it. At first I approached her with the idea of taking her from Alexis. I was just thinking of swallowing up the Monique title. I liked to get the attention I was obsessed with. But it became precious. When I saw the girl smiling shyly, calling a nickname I had never allowed anyone to use, my empty heart throbbed. The sight of my lady, who showed tears of affection, was my downfall.

Damn it. Now I wanted to have the girl herself, not just her gaze on me. Her blind faith in me was still ecstatic. But other things had become as precious as her trust. Her faint smile, her calm voice called me Allen, her silver hair as sparkling as a river, her golden pupil full of me.

I was doomed. I was planning to lock the girl in my net, but before I knew it, I was the one trapped in hers. I laughed bitterly, but I thought it wasn't bad either. If she would look only at me, and give me all of her little body and mind.

But first, I needed to deal with this guy. Carsein de Ras.

The name was familiar to me. He was born the same year as me, and he was called a genius. We were both sons of Dukes. He was unrivaled in swordsmanship, but I couldn't believe that such a man and I were at the same level.

"Sir Ras, thank you for keeping Tia safe while I was away. I've been wanting to see you once. I don't know if we'll see each other again, but I'm glad I could meet you at least once."

"What?"

I'm back, so get lost now. I looked at him with a sneering look, keeping a gentle smile on the surface. I wouldn't have smiled anywhere else, but this was my little girl's house, so I had to mind my face.

"Ah, so it's like this. Hey, I've got a rough idea of your personality, so why don't you show your true colors?"

"What do you mean?"

"I've know that you're just pretending to be gentle in front of her, so show your true self, you weed."

Look at this? I knew how to play cute. I wasn't the son of a spy for nothing. I laughed.

"I see you do have some sense, you little carrot boy."

"What's with this 'carrot boy'?"

"Didn't you call me a 'weed'? Judging by your poor choice of words, I'm sure you were referring to my hair colour. So I replied on a level you could understand. A carrot is a root plant belonging to the dirt, so that means you're under me."

"You son of a b*tch!"

"It's so tempting to provoke you. Why don't you give it a shot? Do you think a day will come when your brain beats mine?"

I smiled deeply at the disconcerting reddish face of the carrot. My stomach kept turning when I saw the guy who had hovered around my lady while I was away.

"You seem to have been eyeing Tia while I was away."

"So what?"

"Get lost. Take my advice while I'm still telling you nicely. She's mine. I won't let anyone have her."

"What's wrong with you?"

"How much do you know about Tia, carrot boy?"

I didn't have to close my eyes to remember everything. My longing for my little silver-haired lady sprang up. I wanted to see her. I just had to wrap things up quickly with this guy. Why was I missing you so much, my lady, when you had just left a while ago? You were missing me, too, weren't you? Wait a little be. I would be right back.

"The first day we met was at 2:43 p.m. on the third day of the ninth month of the Empire. That day, Tia wore a simple blue dress. It was a knee-length dress. We've met a total of 561 times. Today is the 562nd. The time we spent together is 3,226 hours."

"....What?"

"We drank 1,358 cups of tea together. Lemon balm was the most frequent with 373 cups. Next is Hibiscus. 294 cups. I hugged her 901 times. I stroked her hair 1,384 times. "

The carrot's expression distorted. It was quite eye-catching to see his face paling. I felt satisfied for a moment.

"How long did you spend with Tia? Do you remember?"

"Are you a complete nut?"

"Maybe."

"Hey, weed, does she know you're this crazy?"

"What do you think? Does she seem to know?"

"You son of a b*tch!"

He ran away with a look of disgust. Maybe he wanted to grab Tia and make a big fuss about me.

Stupid b*stard. She blindly trusts and follows me. She will not listen to you. It's a bad habit to gossip, and you're sure to find yourself in a bad position. Well, I've been looking for it, so go ahead and tell her whatever you want.

"It's not right to speak ill of other people. I won't listen to you, Carsein."

My heart tickled at the sight of my girl cutting him off without a doubt.

***

[Here stops chapter 101]

Ah, it was really lovely. My girl, mine, my love, my lady. My lady, whom I tried to enslave but enslaved me instead, is even more dazzlingly beautiful because she is still in the dark.

Keep looking at me like that. I'll only look at you. Be obsessed with me, just like I'm obsessed with you. No one will hunger for you like I do. No one will long to have you like I do. (Oh Allen, you obviously don't know Ruve.)

You're beautiful just like that, Tia. I want this, my lady. This is how things are going to stay, all right? My lovely and sweet, precious little doll lady.

***

[The following scene appears in chapters 41 and 42]

The trust and obsession the girl had for me were unlikely to disappear easily. Still, I was anxious that her blind faith would disappear, the golden eyes now looking at me would turn to someone else.

When the carrot told me I didn't even know she had been sick from overtraining, I was terrified.

Why didn't you tell me, Tia? Why?

Don't tell me you don't trust me anymore? Or did he take your heart while I was gone? Or did the Crown Prince ever show interest in you? Why didn't you tell me? Why?!

It was driving me insane. Even though I was still the only one in her eyes, the way Tia looked at the carrot was scary,. She was even looking strangely at the Crown Prince, even if she was afarid enough to bit him. My heart was pounding. What if she saw something in me she was not meant to see ?

I couldn't live without her already. Not now that I knew the feeling of ecstasy she was bringing me.

Perhaps because of my extreme anxiety, I lost track of my usual rational thinking. And I made a terrible mistake again. An irrevocable one.

"Will you not trust me, my lady? So that I can take some of your burden away."

The girl showed me infinite trust, but there was still this secret she wouldn't share with me : how she became so dark and insane.

I knew that even with someone you trusted, it was not easy to confide in. Because I never did myself.

I didn't ask on purpose. For it was the first thing that made me fall for the silver-haired girl : her golden eyes full of darkness, her madness. I thought it was better for her not to heal. After overcoming her inner darkness, Tia may discover my own insanity and my wounds.

If there were other brutes looking at my bright lady and finding her value, she might leave me.

My little girl looked really beautiful when she was broken. Tia's blind obsessions always made me frantic. Her obsession for her father, her obsession with me, and her obsession for fencing.

The sight of her running in front of her, ignoring everything else, always made me excited.

I thought I had the time to regain her trust, but at the Prince's coming of age ceremony, my feeling of urgency increased.

The mere thought of my girl spending time with the Crown Prince made me feel sick. I hadn't thought of the fact that now that she had been introduced in society, there would be more people around my lady and more social gatherings for her to attend.

She was mine.

She was my little girl.

The fact that there were always others around Tia was irritating. I was anxious. I was afraid she would also look at others the way she was looking at me. Don't look elsewhere. Just look at me. I want you like this. Huh? Please. Stay my own girl, just like now.

In a hurry, I urged the unprepared girl to speak about her secrets. I twisted my tongue eloquently to get what I wanted. I thought if I made her tell me about her inner darkness, she would rely more on me. And that it would get harder for her to leave me.

No matter how many people surround you, make sure you don't get away from me. Even if there is a noticeable limitation on our time together because of the Prince's presence.

"Tell me. I will carry your burden with you, and I will not abandon you or leave you" I said to Tia.

I took advantage of my lady's strong obsession with me. I never had any intention of helping or healing her. I just wanted the messy her to hang on to me even more.

"I want to escape that fate somehow. I don't want to end up hurting again. I..."

"..."

"I don't know what to do and how to get away from this fate."

The idea that Tia, who believed in me, was lying to me gave me a feeling of betrayal. That slowly dimmed my affection for her and I gradually forgot my initial determination to tame her.

Alas, I should have listened more to Tia's story back then.

I wish I had thought a little bit more about why she had suddenly brought up her dream story. I wish I had asked her to give me more detail, instead of saying I didn't know what she was talking about.

It would have been nice if I had gone home and studied the contents as I usually did. Although I could not believe it, if I had gone home and thought about it, I would have known that it was the best explanation for Tia's behaviour.

I regretted it a few times, a few dozen times. I couldn't forget the sight of her blind trust being shattered, and the loss of those ecstatic, beautiful, mad golden eyes. It just kept coming back to my mind. The madness, the obsession... it had all fled in an instant.....

I cannot forget the face of the girl who turned into a look-alike, and her change in attitude. Her fierce and repeated rejection of me.

***

[The following scene appears in chapters 43 and 44]

"Would you do me the honour of being my first dance partner as an adult?" asked the Crown Prince.

"It is an honour, Your Highness" Tia answered.

At the Crown Prince's ceremony my lady was dazzlingly beautiful. If the vibe that Tia had been giving off when we first met was a dreamlike thing that seemed out of touch with reality, what she was giving off now was a feeling of pure emptiness. It was so lovely that I was heartbroken.

But seeing Tia wearing clothes tailored for another man, holding another man's hand, and dancing with another man was very painful. I could not take my eyes off her even though she was talking affectionately with the Crown Prince and turned her head away as soon as our eyes met. I was already obsessed with her.

Don't look at him. Don't even smile at him. Don't talk to him. Look only at me, Tia. You're the only one looking at me. Just look at me. Give me one more chance. Trust me one more time.

Please, don't leave me. Don't leave me. Don't do this, because you have made me unable to live without you, and I have fallen in love with your ecstatic beauty. Please. I beg you my lady.

While I was hesitating for fear of being completely abandoned, my little girl went away to the land of Monique. I really felt like I was going crazy. Several times a day, it was tearing me apart.

Do you want me to go there and take you right away? I'll lock you up in a place no one knows. So that you can see no one else.

I packed and unpacked every day. God damn it. I wanted to drag her out of her house and hide her away right now. But Marquis Monique was beside her. (Thank God for that... T.T)

Come to think of it... You always said you'd take her away, but you didn't even set up a house for her, you idiot !

You're supposed to be a genius.

I searched with all my heart and soul for a suitable place. Money was not a problem. I already had a lot of money. The hidden funds were still growing like snow, just in case of a confrontation with the Alexis.

It's to set up a house on a small country estate that no one knows about. It's a place similar to the one my lovely little lady lives in. It's high-end, full of her favorites. I'm sure Tia will like it too. Then she'll look at me again with lovely eyes.

So just wait a bit. I'll make perfect arrangements for you, my little silver-haired lady.

When all the arrangements were finished, I wrote a letter to Tia. I tried to keep my image as soft and friendly as I could, suppressing my urge. I thought my little girl would send me a reply.

But no matter how long I waited, the girl left me in the dark.

I grew nervous. My anxious mind that had been soothed for a while by the decorating of Tia's house once again dominated my mind. I wrote another letter. No reply came. Another letter. Left unanswered too.

If I hadn't heard that carrot boy was going to the Monique estate, I might have dragged her out of it. The thought of this boy next to my lady made my blood boil, but this was my only option to get in touch with Tia, and persuade her. And keep her.

I was also preoccupied by the Crown Prince's attitude during the ceremony.

I could always get rid of the carrot kid, but the Crown Prince was still Tia's fiancé. Somehow he was dangerous. My genius brain kept sending me warnings. You have to watch out for the Crown Prince, you have to keep our little girl away from his eyes.

***

[The following scene appears in chapters 48]

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey, carrot."

"What's with your face? Why are you so desperate to come and see me, weed?"

"You saw Tia and the Crown Prince at the ceremony."

"...So?"

"Let's join forces for now. You know that if Tia catches the Prince's eye, it's all over for you and me right?"

Damn it! Damn it! I didn't really like it, but I tried to repress the soaring anger, saying this was the best thing to do.

"Give this to Tia."

"Why didn't you go give it to her yourself? Given your crazy personality, you would have been able to find her before."

"I'm not qualified to go looking for her yet. Please, keep an eye on her for me."

Damn, uttering those words scorched me. It's only this one time. Leaving my baby in the hands of another. I won't ever have to ask such a stupid thing ever again.

It wasn't until I put the letter in his hands that I could get Tia's reply. Nothing was written on the finely folded silver letterhead, but for now it was satisfactory. The content was proof that Tia had begun to open her mind again.

I'm not going to make a mistake this time. We're starting again, Tia. I'll approach you more carefully, more slowly, more warmly than before.

The letters from my girl began to grow a little longer. My heart that has stopped since that day was constantly screaming, saying, "This is not enough," but I had to lower myself as much as I could to reconnect with the trust that had already been broken.

Whenever it occurred to me that my silver-haired girl who had not returned to the capital for two seasons was spending time with the red-haired boy, I thought, "Should I just go and get rid of them all or bring her to the house I prepared for her?" My heart was burning, but I struggled to hold my anger in. Instead, I took my pen whenever I felt like I was going crazy.