New chapter!

Again I apologise for the wait....butt I really do struggle to write a chapter... :/ I really NEEEED to get this book finished....and I sort of have an idea of how I shall do that...but don't worry...there will be some more drama before that happens ;).....making a guess here....I;m gunna say that this story possibly...will only have ten chapters left....that's a MAYBE Thou...I'm just guessin :)

Buttt...thankyouuu all for reading thisss story, seriously can't believe the amount of people who love it.... :') thank you <3

Anywaay....enjoyyy this chapter! hope you like :)

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CHAPTER 68

I don't understand.

What am I even suppose to call....this?

I need to know what is going on...because it is driving me insane not knowing the answers to the questions I'm dying to know.

All evening Noah has given that teasing smirk whenever out gazes lock, and every time it doe something to me...does something that I've never had to feel before.

I need to know. I need to know what this all means...what this means to him and even me. Because I'm sure as hell confused onto what this all means...

“Hey....”

I look up startled by the voice and see the face of my twin as he stands beside me...

“Hi...” I mumble out, letting out a small sigh before moving my gaze back to the place I've been staring at for the past half hour at least.

The horizon where I can see the specks of city lights as I'm sat on the front step of the Dean's house.

“What are you doing out here?” Seth questions as he comes and takes a seat down beside me, a plastic cup in his hand with some kind of fizzy drink in it.

Sighing again, I shrug, not moving my gaze, “Nothing....just needed air...” I reply quietly, “Why are you out here?” I question him, not wanting the attention one me.

Seth shrugs before answering, “The same reason as you...” he shifts position, “And also I was trying to find you.....I think we are going to be leaving soon”

I nod my head slowly, I want to leave. A part of me does because with being here it just confuses me so much more, but another part, the more stubborn part refuses to leave...because there is something here that is keeping me...

I hear seth sigh, “what's wrong?”

I frown, peeking a glance to him from the corner of my eye, “Why do you think something's wrong?”

Rolling his eyes at me, his action making my question sound stupid, “Because I know you Lex....I know when something's bothering you” He says and I feel my shoulders sag as I realise he's right. He does know.

“So what's wrong?”

I huff a breath past my lips heavily, slumping forward onto my elbows that are resting on my knees as I drop my gaze down to the stone steps that I am sat on.

“Are you ill? In pain? Do you want to go home now? Should I tell mom?” Seth asks questions rapidly, concern in his voice and I shake my head frowning at reasons.

He stays silent for a moment or too, and I feel his eyes boring into the side of my head, as if he's reading my mind...and I honestly think he does because his next question is almost like he has...

“Is it Noah?”

My shoulders tense and I bite my lip staring to the floor, knowing full well that I have just given away the true answer but I don't care because I have a feeling Seth knew what was wrong as soon as he saw me out here...

He sighs, turning his body a little so he's more facing me and I feel warmth spread to my cheeks as I can't believe I'm about to talk about this with my own brother....someone I thought who would cringe away at the idea...

“..What's going on?” He asks, that question speaking for it's self as you can't really take it another way..

“I...I don't know” I answer truthfully. That's the problem....I don't know what is going on!

“I don't understand Lexi...” Seth shakes his head with a small sigh once again, “I thought you hated each other....well...that was until I saw you two....” He trails off, mentioning back at that party, when he saw us...

“ I know....” I sigh, “So did I...”

I thought I hated him. I must have at some point! I couldn't stand him, with his annoying, arrogant attitude.....but somehow....it changed, and when before I couldn't get him out of my head for being frustrating and annoying....it's now that I can't get him out my head, his smile out my head, his eyes out my head. It's for another reason completely.

“Lexi?..”

I turn my head to look to Seth, not knowing what emotion is hiding in his eyes but I can see understanding there too....and I'm so glad that we are like this, because I hardly have to utter a word for him to understand everything...

“I'm going to ask you something...and you got to answer truthfully” He tells me and I blink, staring back at his eyes as I nod.

I couldn't lie anyway...he would see it.

“Do you like Noah Lexi? Do you really like him?”

I feel my stomach knot as I stare at my twin, seeing him so serious only makes this harder. And I know that within the first seconds of him asking that, he already knows my answer, it flashes through my eyes and I know he saw it. He knows me better than anyone, even myself...and he knew the answer.....properly even before I did.

I feel myself nodding, a small quiet 'yes' slipping from my lips as I do and my gaze dropping from my twin...

“I do...I really, really do...” I whisper, “And I don't understand why...” my stomach clenches as I realise what I'm saying, and ignoring the sarcastic thoughts going on up in my head of me sounding like some ten year old confessing their first crush right now....

Because I can feel something, something that proves this is more than just some crush....

“You need to talk to him Lex...” Seth speaks, his hand rubbing my arm gently, “As much as I don't...like the idea of you two, I will put that aside...because if he will make you happy...then I'm happy...”

Now I feel a wave of guilt hit me, my stomach knotting as I realise that, that is exactly what I should be saying...feeling when it came to him. To him and....April.

I hate her. Even if Seth hasn't said that...he knows I do. And I'm even pretty sure April herself does.

But if Seth will put his thoughts of Noah aside for me, then I should do that for him. If he's happy with April...then...then I should to. Because he is my twin and I only want to see him happy...

I breath out another long sigh, my head slowly nodding to agree with Seth, I do have to talk to him, I know that....I'm just scared at to what the answers will be.....

Am I ready for where things could lead?....I've never been in this situation before....I do not know what to do.....but....but the tug in my stomach tells me otherwise...

“He was out the back the last time I saw him...” Seth says, not need to say anymore because I know what he means..

And with that, Seth gets to his feet, placing a hand on my shoulder as a sign for comfort, before he turns and heads back inside the house....leaving me alone again.

But I don't have to be alone, I just need to find a certain brown eyed boy ….

Rising to my feet, I dust off my jeans before slowly turning around, my stomach doing nuts as my brain rambles with words to string into a sentence to say....I have no clue what to say....

I know that as soon as I see him I won't be able to think straight, so I try to contain my thoughts and think of what I would say before I see him as I'm just going to be tongue tied...

What do I say? Without sounding like some little third grader who's feeling things for the first time. Heck, I am a third grader....I've never gone through something like this....I was always too busy fighting with my brothers to pay attention...

Gosh....I'm going to sound stupid.

I bite my lip nervously, slowly shuffling my feet towards the door as the knots in my stomach tighten and I push myself to not stop and turn around, I refuse to leave without some answers.

Walking up to the front door that's slightly open I take a deep breath as I try to think of what Noah will say, and if this is even worth bothering to ask...

Yes...yes it is because I neeeed to know the answer.....I can't keep going on like this wondering what is happening...

So with stepping forward, I push open the heavy door a bit more, with my gaze dropping to the floor as I move a foot forward to step into the house.

But I don't get very far....because with that one step, the door is suddenly pulled back away from my grip and I stumble a little having lost my balance and bump into someone's hard chest..

“Woooa.....what are you doing Chipmunk? You really want to touch me that bad? Oh baby, you should have just asked...”

I feel my cheeks flame as I hear Noah's amused chuckle, his hand gripping my elbow as I stand back up straight, away from touching him and I keep my gaze down not being able to meet his as the hand that's holding my elbow, moves up to place on my arm, causing my body to tingle...

This wouldn't have happened weeks before, if he said something like that before I would have just rolled my eyes, snapped back at him with something and shoved past him....but no, now I'm standing here like an idiot too embarrassed to make eye contact..

Oh jeez....this is big..

“Lexi?”

I slowly raise my head at Noah's voice, his tone going from amused to concern fairly quickly and I see him looking down at me with a small frown.

“You okay?” he questions his frown deepening as he looks at me closer, his eyes locking with mine for a moment but I quickly look away feeling my cheeks still sting with warmth again.

“Um...uh yh...I..uh..” I stutter over my words, mentally cursing as I knew this would happen...his close proximity causing the words I want to say to completely go out the window...

A small smirk tugs at the corners of Noah's lips and I feel butterflies flutter in my stomach as I meet his eyes, his body taking a step closer to mine.

“Hmm?....you...what?” he whispers, his face getting closer to mine causing my breathing to hitch as I see the amusement glowing in his eyes, watching his gaze flick down briefly towards my lips...

“Noah....” I attempt to speak clearly as to direct him with a question...but I fail at that as his name comes out as a near whisper, sounding as if I'm already breathless after having done nothing physically active..

“Yesss?” Noah asks, raising an eyebrow almost teasingly as he definitely moves closer, stepping forward with not even an inch between us and I step backwards, the door behind me pushed close by Noah's hand and I back up onto that staring at the brown eyed boy in front of me...

I swallow nervously and blink, trying to come up with words again but get distracted by the little space between us gradually disappearing and the fact that my brain is focusing more on his hand that is on me than on the thoughts in my head...

Oh damn...

Smirking Noah leans forward, his forehead resting against mine and I feel the rapid beat of my heart that flutters in my chest...

“You seem nervous...” Noah states, an teasing tone behind his voice, “Why don't I help you out a bit hmm....?”

I feel my stomach jump, mixed with nerves and the butterflies as his head tilts, leaning down closer until I feel his lips brush mine, only causing my heart to accelerate more and my eyes to flutter close as his lips press against mine more, the same familiar jolt running through my body, all the way to my toes and I don't resit with letting my body take over my actions, with moving my lips to his.

I should do this.....I shouldn't do this until I know what this is...

But oh gosh...it's so unbelievably hard to resist...

As the kiss gets a little more....I remember where we are, and that I need to know....I place my hands on his chest and gently push him back, breaking this kiss...

“Noah....” I breath, my breathing heavy for many reasons... “Noah...what...what is this?” I manage to get out shaking my head with a frown confused, relieved that I have finally managed to speak what I wanted and with looking up to those beautiful eyes I just hope that he understands what I am meaning...

Blinking he looks down at me with at first a confused expression...before realisation seems to cloud his eyes as he realises what I'm asking....

Tilting his head to the side, a small sly smirk tugs at his lips and his free hand comes up to cup my left cheek, instantly causing them to burn again as I drop my gaze with feeling a little embarrassed for asking....

“Whatever you want this to be.....” Noah responds in a hushed whisper, his thump running over my cheek causing my skin to flame even more...and I bite my lip...

Oh...that is such a helpful answer...

slowly raising my gaze, I look back up to him, watching as he's staring at me intently,, trying to read my thoughts it feels like...

“I...I...”I mumble, not even sure of what...or how to say what I want...

what do I want?....

Staring at him like this, those chocolate brown eyes boring into mine, making my legs weak, the way he makes me feel with just a single touch, the sparks and jolts I feel every time we are close, all this tells me my answer...

I know what I want...

Reaching my hand forward, I brush away some loos hair that has fallen onto his forehead...and I feel him stiffen at my action, I'm even surprised myself...almost doing this absentmindedly...I didn't realise I was doing it...

But I trail my hand down, to his shoulder and slip around his neck, bringing my other arm to the same place, allowing myself to pull myself closer to him, much closer and with staring into those dark eyes for a moment, before pressing my lips to his....feeling the warmth spread over my body once again...

He doesn't respond for a moment, obviously surprised that I made this move..but when he realises...he doesn't stop and soon takes over with tightening his arms around my waist to pull me even closer, though there is no space left, and his lips moves with mine, slowly backing my up against the door once again before the kiss turns more passionate....with feeling his tongue run over my bottom lip, I feel my skin start burning, tingling as I feel hot all over....and my arms tighten around his neck, pulling him tighter towards me, wanting this feeling to last forever...

But like everything, nothing lasts forever....and the reason that cuts off what I've been wanting since the start of this evening...is due to my brain wanting oxygen...

Breaking away from the kiss, my chest is rising heavily...just like Noah's and I'm pretty sure my eyes are wide and wild, not being to keep anything hidden so I'm sure Noah can pick up on anything that flashes through them...

“Wow.....well..” Noah suddenly chuckles quietly, still in this close position of having me pushed against the door...that smirk slips onto his features...

“I think I may have an idea now....”

Trying to control my breathing, my cheeks flush again, knowing full well what he means...and knowing what I did...has just shown him what I want....

Him.

“What are you two doing? What's going on?”

A voice is suddenly loud, echoing through the halls of the hallway and interrupting the quiet, numb bubble that is around us two..

My head snaps up to look over Noah's shoulder, pushing him back slightly so he's not right up against me, and my eyes widen a little as I see the tall figure of my brother stood there...

Oh damn.

Anxiously looking towards Noah, my stomach tightens as I really really need to stop getting into awkward situations like this.

Did he see? If he did what should I say?

I can't lie....no, I can't lie again...I don't want to lie. I don't want to hide this anymore....

Surprising me Noah's arm slips around my waist, pulling me to his side as he half turns around to face the wide eyed and completely unreadable expression of my older brother.....Chris.

Noah smiles, cocking his head down a little, “We were talking..” He smiles, squeezing me a little in his grip as I stare from him towards Chris....worried about what's going to be said...

“About our plans for tomorrow evening..” Noah continues that smile turning into a grin, “I was wondering were she would like to go....as well...we will be going some place nice, together”

At his words I feel my heart pound, my chest tighten and stomach to knot al at once and for many multiple reasons as my eyes snap up towards him...only receiving a cheeky grin in reply, making my heart thump....and a smile to tug at my own lips...

Because he answer my unspoken question in an indirect way....

We are something. There's something here. And we are going out somewhere.....together.

And that thought alone - as cheesy as It sounds, makes me feel like I'm cloud nine. With my mind floating and heart hammering at that word....

Together

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I'll upload ASAP!....thank youuu! <33