Btw YOUTH by Troye Sivan has been ghosting through my head the whole day.. What's your favourite song??

"Have you ever been kissed?", Vic whispered quietly, looking up from long lashes. She kind of looked like Snow White, Louis thought. Long black hair framing her pale face, causing her blue eyes to look even more fierce.

"W-what?" Louis stuttered out, turning his head further to look at Vic properly. They were in the middle of a pile out of five people. All cuddled up, watching movies.

They started with Frozen and Louis really liked it .. But then again he always had something for Disney movies. Jess made popcorn. Half of it was scattered on the floor when they were done, due to their popcorn fight. Louis really liked being a part of a group that cared for him.

They've been giving him cuddles after they heard about his story. Well, Louis did not tell everything. Just that he was in an adoption centre. And that Harry adopted him.. They knew nothing about his past and Louis liked it like that. He wanted a new start. A start without people judging where he came from. And he had it under control. For the first time in his life, he felt like he could control the things going on around him.

He could decide with whom to be friends, he could bring out his real talent in class, he could make real friends.They've been defending him against the jocks. His friends..

So as Louis found himself back in the middle of the pile, having Jess' head somewhere on his belly and his own on Liam's thigh, he smiled. He never thought he'd be able to this much skin contact, to this much.. Openness he greeted them with.

He looked back up at Vic, his cheeks blushing softly before he opened his mouth, a soft shiver running through his body, "No."

"Do you want to?" Vic replied quietly, scooting closer with a soft smile. Louis blushed even harder, catching his eyes lingering on her lips for a second too long. They were red. Just like Snow White's.

"What if I say yes?" Louis raised a gentle eyebrow and swallowed softly. Did this mean anything? All the people around him experimented. Even though he felt drawn to boys, what was wrong about trying.

Vic grinned and bit down on her lip, Louis watching in a kind of fascination. He never thought someone would like to kiss him.

"Do you..", Louis cleared his throat, "do you want to be my first kiss?"

Vic smiled widely and scooted closer, looking from Louis' eyes to his lips and back up before she closed her eyes and pressed hers against Louis'. She kept her lips lingering against Louis' for a couple of second before she pulled away, grinning lightly.

"Does this answer your question?"

"Oh oh guys!!" They both flinched with the sudden interruption, looking over at Zayn who grinned at them devilishly, "I thought you were gay but hey. Surprise, surprise." Zayn laughed and snuggled closer to Liam, humming as he ran his fingers through the boys brown hair.

Louis' lips tingled lightly, "oh um-" he cleared his throat and fell silent though. He didn't know how to explain.

"Well, since we're already at the wild kissing part, huh?" Zayn whispered and leaned down, pressing his lips forcefully to a half asleep Liam, grunting lowly as he kissed him awake. Louis heard Liam squeal and gasped lightly as he stared at the couple for a few seconds.

"E-excuse me," he rushed out and stood up, hurrying out of the pile towards the bathroom that was just down the hall. He was confused. So confused..

What did Harry say? He liked both. Boys and Girls. Was Louis the same? He whimpered softly, locking himself in the bathroom and swallowed heavily.

He didn't know what he was supposed to do.

So he got his phone out, going straight to call Harry because he just couldn't help himself, he needed him.

"Louis?" Harry's deep voice turned up on the other side five seconds later, causing Louis to blush just lightly as he sat down on the closed toilet lid, "are you alright?"

Silence.

"Louis?" Harry asked again, furrowing his eyebrows lightly.

"A girl kissed me," Louis blurted out and bit down on his lip, playing with the hem of his shirt as he waited.

"Oh," Harry mumbled. He exhaled shakily and fell silent for a few seconds. Louis whined lightly and sighed, "what do I do.. I-I don't know. I'm confused.." He rushed out and just waited for Harry to say something. He was awfully quiet.

"Did you like it?" Harry's voice wasn't more than a whisper. A careful whisper. Louis was too helpless to hear the worry and need in his voice. If he would've had a clear mind, maybe he would've been able to do so.

Louis was taken aback with the question. Did he like it? It wasn't bad. But Louis didn't have any other experience that he could compare the kiss to.

"I-I don't know, she's pretty.. And nice." Louis whispered, not knowing that Harry on the other side gripped onto the edge of his wooden desk in his office. Harry felt.. Helpless. Frustrated with what Louis just told him.

"Louis.. Just listen to your tummy. He tells you what's right or wrong.. And hey, man.. Congratulations to your first kiss. From a girl," Harry added softly and looked down, running a hand through his curly locks. He had to be happy for the boy. It was the only thing that was appropriate. But why did Louis move so quick? It was his first week of school, still. Yet he seemed to already have a very strong bond to his friends.

"Thanks.." Louis said quietly after a couple of seconds and smiled shyly, "nothing's wrong about experimenting?"

"Nothing's wrong about experimenting." Harry repeated even though he fought hard against the swelling of a lump in his throat.

"When do you want me to pick you up?"

"Oh um, Jess' mom drives in an hour, don't worry. She's kinda kicking us out but that's fine.. We watched Frozen," Louis beamed softly while Harry smiled sadly at the other end.

"Tell me later how it was? I may be sleeping.."

"Will do, Dad!"

Harry closed his eyes hard at the name. He felt so old with it.. So unwanted.

"See ya, kiddo." He answered before he hung up, his eyes suddenly pricking with tears. Why was he crying? His nostrils flared lightly and he exhaled shakily.

Gym.

~

Louis returned back to his friends, smiling shyly at them before he plopped down next to Vic, gently placing his arm around her shoulder. He felt proud as she leaned against him.

"Are you guys kidding me.." Jess rolled her eyes, eyeing the two couples in front of her, "God, I swear I'll die alone with twenty cats. You're disgusting, every one of you." She flicked an eyebrow up and pouted, sitting right down in the middle of Vic and Louis.

"None of that in my house." She smirked lightly and licked her lips, "sorry but tonight you won't exclude me with your couple behaviour. I didn't plan on this."

Everyone laughed and Vic grinned, kissing her cheek, "alright Jess, I'm all yoooours." She pursed her lips slightly, earning a shove of Jess, "oh hush it." She grinned and shook her head before returning to the Netflix genres.

"I think we can do one more movie before mom's having enough so.. Decide!"

They went for 'The house at the end of the street' since they all liked Jennifer Lawrence. Louis didn't like the movie. It scared him and was just creepy. Especially the end.. It was just psychotic.

He kind of craved for Harry for an unknown reason, deep down wishing for someone he could cuddle to and hide behind.

Harry though wasn't home anymore. After the conversation he had, he went straight to the gym. He just couldn't bring himself to wait for a babbling exciting Louis. It just hurt. Because whenever he started to feel something for a person, it never ended well. Because he fucked it up.

He used to have anger issues.. Harry learned to take them out on a boxing bag. It was better than on people. Way better. The curly lad was dealing with anger management. Again.

~

"Bye, Lou!!" Liam and Zayn waved softly before they fell backwards into the car, causing Louis eyes to widen because they were suddenly all over each other, Zayn groping at Liam's ass.

Jesus.

It turned out that Jess' mom was too tired to drive. But Liam didn't drink anything so he drove Louis and Vic.

"Byevic!" Liam muffled before a loud moan left his lips, causing Louis and Vic to quickly turn around and head down the street to their houses.

"We almost witnessed Ziam fucking in the car. Geez. Believe me, when I say you don't want to see that."

Louis laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets, blushing softly.

"Oh I believe you..", Louis cleared his throat and kept silent until they reached her house. It had a distance of five minutes to Harry's one.

"So.." She tucked a strand of her black hair behind her ear, smiling shyly.

"So.." Louis repeated and bit down on his lips, "I don't know any of this.. Sorry." He said quietly and looked down, "I probably suck," he shrugged.

"You don't.. You're a good kisser, you know", Vic smiled softly and took a step closer, fisting her hand lightly in his shirt, causing Louis to exhale slowly. She got up to the tippy toes and kissed Louis again, gentle again this time. Yet, it was nothing compared to Harry's lips.

Louis' eyes widened harshly and he sucked a harsh breath in, stumbling back light, "g-give me a little time to think okay?" Louis whispered out, swallowing heavily before he forced a smile, "good night, Vic." He waved awkwardly and bit his lip, turning around to quickly walk down the street into the direction of Harry's house.

Why was he thinking of Harry's lips?

Why did he suddenly know how they tasted? It wasn't like he kissed him..

Wouldn't that be sick?

Louis' lower lip trembled lightly as he trotted home, hands shoved in his pants. His mind hurt from being so confusing. Why was he thinking of Harry.. It was almost like he could feel Harry's lips on his.

Why?

He sniffled softly and let himself in the house, sliding the key back into his pocket. He was met with silence. His lower lip wobbled.

"H-Harry?" He whispered and swallowed harshly, taking his shoes out before he checked for the car. Gone. Harry wasn't home.

Louis' eyes widened and he cried out quietly, hurrying into Harry's bathroom to crouch together in a dark corner, knees tucked to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs.

It made him crazy how fast his heart beat against his chest. Fast.. So fast. His head felt funny. His lungs burned with the lack of oxygen before he forced himself to inhale again.

Harry was gone

Harry was gone

Louis whimpered again, cowering down further, heavy erratic breaths leaving his chest. He didn't know how long he sat there. An hour? Or two?

His mind didn't register the final opening of the door down in the hall, didn't notice the upcoming heavy steps. But he did hear the breathing, the creaking of the door that opened.

"They're coming for me they're coming for me," Louis whispered over and over, not knowing why but he was in a kind of trauma. Harry furrowed his eyebrows as his pupils adjusted to the darkness. His curls were still damp from the shower at the gym. His muscles were already sore and he desperately just wanted to fall down in bed and end this day. But there was something in his room..

"H-Harry left.. You left.. Just like mommy and daddy.. You p-promised not t-to!" Louis sobbed out, his body shaking violently.