You better get a lot of tissues. Mentions of drugs and death.

* 10 years ago*

"Hush, little baby.."

Her soft voice chirped up, seeping through the room as she sung.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word-" her voice broke at the end of the sentence as Louis' baby blue eyes opened. They were sparkling with so much trust and love it broke her heart, all over again. Louis constantly reminded her of him. Of her first lost child.

"Troy, I can't -" she sobbed out quietly, biting down on her lip quickly again to keep silent. She didn't want to cry in front of her baby.

"Mommy.. Sing.. Pwetty voice.." Louis giggled shyly and sat up, pressing a wet kiss to his mommy's cheek before he yawned and cuddled down again, taking her hand and holding onto it.

"Sometimes I'm afraid you'll leave me.." He whispered quietly after his mother took up singing the lullaby again. Her voice stopped suddenly.

"We won't.. W-we always gonna be with you, Louis", Jay whispered and leaned down, pressing her lips to Louis' forehead, "sleep now baby boy. Mommy and Daddy love you.."

"Louis loves mommy and daddy too.." The little six year old boy said softly and closed his eyes, smiling happily before he drifted to sleep.

"Jay.." Her husband whispered and looked at her softly, "come.."

"This is all your fault!" She hissed before she ran out of Louis' room, whimpering as her heart broke all over again.

She's already lost one child.

"He has a better chance of surviving without us, Jay. For fuck's sakes I just want the best for him."

"Then you should've stopped. W-we should've stopped. W-why didn't we?" She spun around, eyes wide as she looked at her husband.

"Because we both loved it, baby.." Troy whispered, smiling as he stepped closer to his wife, tipping her chin up.

"We still do.. Getting that feeling of pure ecstasy. You loved getting high with me, don't you.."

Jay's eyes teared up, a soft whimper escaping her lips again.

"I may have loved it, Troy. But I never thought I'd loose control.."

Her hands started to shake lightly, the first symptoms of detoxification were starting to show.

"I love Louis. I loved Niall and I still do.." She shook her head, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes, coating her cheeks in another layer of wet stains.

"It was a mistake."

"What?" Jays eyes narrowed lightly as she looked up at her husband, gritting her teeth together.

"To get kids."

"You're such an asshole. You never cared about them. I did.. I was there when they took their firsts steps, I was there when they said their first word. Where were you? Gone. High on your stupid drugs!" Jay yelled before she fell silent again, running a hand through her hair.

"And now they're coming again.. because you're too god damn stupid to pay off your debts. How much do they want this time?"

She whispered, lost eyes staring at him. Niall was everything she had. They knew. And so they took what they had. The only thing that mattered. Niall.

"It's all happening again.." Jay cried quietly, burying her face in her hands as another sob racked through her body.

"We need to go.. Louis will be fine. He's a big boy right? He has everything he needs right here.. They won't find him, baby. They won't.."

Jay bit down on her trembling lip and nodded in defeat.

"Get the car ready, I'll be there in a second.." She whispered and sniffled softly, making her way back to her sons room. She didn't open the door though.

She couldn't. She knew that guilt was eventually going to eat her up alive.

Jay already felt it creeping up in her body.

"I love you, Louis.."

She whispered, pressing a kiss to the picture showing all three of them, happy. Jay leaned down, placing the picture in front of Louis' door and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry.. I wish I could've been a better mommy."

Troy came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, "everything's packed.." He whispered and kissed her cheek.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry I'm not the man you wished for. And I'm sorry for Louis.." He placed his hand on the wooden door, closing his eyes.

He thought they wouldn't find them here. Deep hidden in the woods without any contact to the world outside. But they did. They were always going to find them. His dealers.

Who wanted their money.

"We have to go.. For Louis." He whispered and swallowed hard, tears pricking his eyes.

"I-I've had my clear moments, you know. I love the boy.. And he knows that. Come now", Troy whispered and exhaled shakily, trotting with his wife to their car. It was the best for Louis.

At least he could grow up in peace. Alone but in peace.

Jay and Troy got in their car, driving to the street that was a few miles away. The low vibrations of the engine were heard along with Jays silent cries.

They were so close to arriving town.

So close that they had hopes that they could return sometime. To look after Louis. All until another car crashed into the side of them, turning everything black.

Louis woke up the next morning, frowning because it was so quiet. There was no smell of pancakes, no rummaging of his mother, no laughing from outside.

"M-mommy?" He called out shyly, clutching his teddy bear to his chest as he trotted into the living room, rubbing his eyes.

"Where are you? A-are we playing hide and seek? Louis don't like game.."

No one answered.

Louis assumed they were just out, restoring food. And so he waited. And waited. And waited.

But no one came back.

~

*present*

Harry's eyes were wide and his breathing was stuck in his throat as he read the article. Louis' parents were involved in drug business.

Jay and Troy.

They got into a car accident.. The police found them. A bullet was shot straight through Troy's head. The woman was clutching a picture to her, covered in blood.

Of a blond boy and a brown haired.

"Jesus Christ," Harry muttered and ran a hand through his hair, swallowing hard at the information he just got.

"Louis wanna play horsie!" The small boy smiled shyly, looking at Harry with a tilted head.

"Daddy?"

"Louis please be quiet for a second", Harry whispered, closing his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. God, he knew that the kid was going to be different. Rejected by his parents. Left alone in a house deep in the woods.

Louis eyes teared up slightly and he whimpered, sniffling softly before he stumbled off Harry's lap, running with his new teddy out of the room.

Harry squinted his eyes closer at the screen, furrowing his brows. That blonde hair boy looked awfully familiar to him.. He just couldn't figure out why.

"Louis?"

Harry mumbled and hissed out, getting up and stepped into the hallway. He heard quiet little cries coming from Louis' room.

Harry hurried over into his room, opening the door to see a tiny Louis whimpering in a corner, his knees against his chest, his eyes already red from crying.

"Louis, please" Harry whispered and quickly moved over to the younger boy, sitting down in front of him and reached a hand out to touch him but Louis turned his eyes away.

"L-Louis annoy daddy.. A-always do. A-are you giving m-me away again? O-or just leave" he stuttered out, blinking against his tears because he wanted to be a big boy and big boy don't cry.

"God, no Louis I won't give you away I'm your daddy, did you forget that? I love you, I could never give you away, please.. Daddy misses to cuddle with his baby boy", Harry coed gently, opening his eyes for Louis to slip in.

And he did after hesitating. He was in need of love and affection.

"Pinky promise that daddy won't l-leave?" Louis whispered after some time of Harry holding him.

"Pinky promise.." Harry whispered pulling back slightly to link his pinky finger with Louis, smiling before he leaned down to press a kiss to his plump lips.

"I love you, daddy.." Louis whispered and nuzzled back into his neck, clutching tightly onto him. Harry exhaled shakily and nodded slowly.

"Let's run you a bath, shall we? Exhausting day.." He mumbled and got up, placing his hands on Louis' bum to keep him up while he walked to his big bathroom.

"Bubbles?" Louis whispered in excitement and squealed happily as Harry chuckled and nodded.

"Pink?"

Harry nodded once again, filling the tub while Louis squirted a good amount of pink liquid into the hot water.

"Louis that's enough!" Harry laughed and kissed his forehead gently, "we don't want to fill the whole bathroom with pink bubbles now, do we?"

Louis blushed and shook his head.

"No daddy.."

Louis undressed himself and yawned cutely, moving to the edge of the tub and looked up at Harry, "can l-Louis get I-in?"

Harry was left staring at Louis' bum when he undressed. He's seen and touched it before but damn it was just too beautiful. And he was sill shocked from what he just discovered so he just couldn't move as Louis turned to him, revealing his pretty soft cock.

"Do daddy like l-Louis' willy?" The boy squeaked shyly, tearing Harry out of his trance, "huh?" He answered and cleared his throat quickly.

"Daddy does.. It's very pretty, love." Harry winked gently at the younger boy who blushed brightly.

"Louis like daddy's body, too." He stated softly and dipped his toe in the water, shivering softly before he climbed inside. Harry smiled and undressed himself, unbuttoning his white shirt and tugged his black skinny jeans down his legs. The socks and his boxers hit the bathroom floor before he stood in front of Louis in all his naked glory.

"Wow.." Louis whispered shyly, hiding slightly behind a mountain of pink bubbles and foam.

Harry grinned and got in the tub as well, stroking over Louis' wet hair before he dove down underneath the surface only to dive up again. He sighed and pushed his wet curls out of his face, meeting Louis' eyes again.

"Daddy have foam on chin.. It looks like daddy h-has a beard!" Louis squealed and splashed the water gently, causing Harry to laugh in amusement.

"Does daddy look pretty with a beard?" He raised a challenging eyebrow and grinned.

"Daddy always look pwetty," Louis said softly and yawned, shimmying over to Harry and moved in between his legs so that his back touched Harry's chest. Strong arms were wrapped around the boy all too soon but Louis just smiled happily.

Harry just couldn't bring Louis' parents up. He didn't want the boy to be sad. And he looked like he was okay being here with Harry. He looked.. Almost carefree.

"Are you happy?", Harry whispered and stroked over Louis' hair, gently scraping his scalp while the younger boys eyes fluttered softly.

"Am.. Louis' really happy.. Happiest."

Louis smiled and cuddled up to Harry, closing his eyes while he felt Harry's arms around him.

"Daddy love Louis?" He whispered quietly and peeked up at the curly lad.

"B-because some people only say. B-but they don't do. M-mommy didn't love Louis."

Harry frowned quickly and cradled the small boy tighter to his chest, "I love you, Louis, God I do. Your mom loved you too, I know that. T-things just happen. But see, you wouldn't be here with me if things would have gone differently, right?"

Louis nodded slowly and looked up to Harry.

"Daddy?"

"Yes, baby boy.." Harry whispered and stroked Louis hair behind his ear.

"Show that Daddy love m-m-me?"