"What the hell am I doing here," Ambrosia groaned squeezing the sash of her seat belt. Her reflective eyes stared out the window of the car at a town house with three other cars parked in front of them.

One of the cars was a freshly waxed black and red Mustang, Ricky's car of course. Although she knew every movement towards his house was wrong the fear of being along was too crippling.

Being alone with her own thoughts, of Elias.

She tapped her pocket of pills and hopped out of her small car. Closing the door and locking it she was met by the strong smell of weed.

His friends must be over.

Despite his questionable business, Ricky didn't do drugs, he only smoked what he deemed was pure enough for him and wouldn't dare lower his "rank" as a dealer by becoming a druggie.

When his friends were over, Ricky splurged on weed.

Ambrosia got to the door and knocked softly but gradually let her fist pound against he door.

A slender light-skinned man opened the door and blinked at Ambrosia. After a few silent seconds he turned around leaning the door open and called out for Ricky.

Ambrosia walked in slowly and closed the door as she walked towards the living room. It was in those last steps she realized how stupid this was and as she began to walk back to the door she was met by Ricky at the base of the stairs.

"Couldn't resist, A?"

"I was actually just leaving."

Ambrosia walked past his right side but Ricky held her back with his hands gliding from her arms down to her waist.

She shivered and looked down, ashamed of what she had led herself into once again.

"Nah, I can't let you leave just like that, you know that."

She knew that all too well.

Ambrosia placed her hands on his arms and looked up with a negotiating smile.

"I just wanted to stay in the guest room, my neighbors are having a party again and I couldn't sleep," she then tried to go upstairs.

Ricky snatched her back by her arm and removed the joint from his mouth. He blew the smoke at her and smirked softly.

"Bullshit, A, you didn't really just come here just to sleep in my guest room," he asked pulling at the sleeve of her jacket.

Ambrosia bit the inside of her cheek quickly moving back but Ricky had already pushed his face into the crevice of her shoulder.

There was a definite struggle of her resistance as there usually was, and this was something Ricky enjoyed from her. Ambrosia had always failed to keep up her fight and especially this night.

She needed the distraction.

So as she held his blunt between her fingers and Ricky pulled down the cotton fabric of her shirt to bit excessively into her skin, Ambrosia could not remember what she was running from. As they popped pills together Ambrosia could not remember Elias or anyone else that was not in Ricky's room then and there.

As she lay underneath Ricky's naked and sleeping body she couldn't remember who she was before any of this.

She couldn't remember and truthfully she didn't want to remember.

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It wasn't about what she wanted though, it was about what she needed.

She needed to see him again and yet she was still reluctant.

Ambrosia rested herself against the bed frame of Ricky's bed her body curled under the thick comforter.

Ricky stood in front of his dresser combing his hair before sliding his beanie on. Ambrosia was silently thinking as she customarily did in the morning and was caught by surprise as Ricky brushed her head with his had to kiss her forehead.

Ambrosia nudged him away and turned farther to her side.

"Again with this cold shit, are you on your-"

"No, just...leave me alone."

Ricky crossed his arms and frowned deeply before shaking his head with a few slick insults. He turned back from his path to the door.

"I don't understand you A, I know you don't see it but you've gotten worse," he proclaimed.

Ambrosia looked at him blankly, "You don't know what your talking about..."

"When I met you you were so shy and shit, so scared to get caught taking painkillers, but know your so-so-," Ricky paused as his eyes wandered, "Are you seeing that therapist still?"

She wasn't.

"What I do, who I see, isn't any of your business Ricky, so just leave me along and go push your fucking drugs!" Ambrosia cried out glaring wildly at him.

"I only have sex with you out of means of payment," she added on lowly.

Ricky clenched his jaw with a flash of damaged pride dwindling in his eyes, "I'm giving you five minutes to get the fuck out of here, A." He turned and slammed causing the shelves to rattle.

Ambrosia flipped the covers off of her body and stumbled to find her clothes. She pulled them on and checked the time; it was only 9:00.

Ricky sat in front of the living table a pile of money that he had begun counting spread in front of him. He glanced at her as she walked down the stair and watched her leave silently.

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There was a powerful determination with the first step onto the grounds of the large white facility psychiatric hospital.

Oceanside Institution.

Ambrosia had gone home to change into smooth navy pants and a yellow and white patterned blouse. In her hand swung a small paper brown bag, inside it was a new black leather journal.

Her hair had been cut short into a bob last year and now brushed at her shoulders. With careful strides, she opened another door and was met with a front desk where a receptionist sat twirling her pen.

Ambrosia fidgeted for a moment looking around before voicing up, "I've come to see a visitor."

The receptionist peered up and smiled slightly nodding, "And who's that?"

"Ah," Ambrosia fidgeted with the bag in her hand, "I'm here to see Elias—Elias Henway."

The woman nodded and dialed quickly onto the phone before asking for Ambrosia's identification which she provided.

A minute or two passed before a metal door on the opposite side of the room opened and a nurse walked through smiling compellingly.

"May I see your bag?"

Ambrosia nodded and handed it to her before taking out her keys and placing them in a cupboard outside of the door.

"Alright, follow me please," the blonde woman said handing her back the contents and led Ambrosia down the hall. The two walked quietly towards and door that led to the outside and the woman sighed.

"Elias hasn't had any visitors for quite some time, are you a friend?"

Ambrosia followed her out of the door and down a cobblestone path that curved around the enclosed outside.

"Y-yes."

"Well that's nice."

Ambrosia didn't answer back, she preferred the woman not to talk for it only heightened her uneasiness in the situation. They both made their way onto a large wooden gazebo where a few other people were sitting.

Ambrosia stopped in her steps as she noticed him, leaning off the side of his chair scribbling away onto a paper. She watched his mouth move slightly with every other word he wrote. His curly hair had been cut quite short making his features all the more distinctive.

Elias looked up and froze his eyes widening like a child's. Their gazes were locked in a rush of tension and Ambrosia took a step forward.

"It's good to...see you again, Elias," Ambrosia stammered.

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