Serenity leaves her house, feeling allayed and awake.

Usually, she leaves feeling droopy and melancholic. The routine of her everyday makes it mundane. But today is a refreshing change because she knows exactly what today involves, she wants to make today great. In order for it to be great, she has to change her mindset.

Serenity is on her way to meet someone significant.

So, she walks down to the nearest florist, embracing the quietness of the city streets and she stands in the surprising queue. After retrieving a bouquet of vibrant, nice smelling flowers that remind her of illumination, light and heaven, she arrives at her destination.

Serenity gulps harshly before pushing the glossy painted, abundant gates open. The coldness of the gates makes her hands ache, knowing what is coming. She walks along the wide path. It's a path many have taken to meet beloved ones, to wail and remember.

Remembering can be tough.

Reminiscing Serenity stops in her tracks when she approaches a familiar gravestone with a name that still hurts her impaired heart. Even after so long it makes her frail, frustrated and a deep ball of sadness sits in the pit of her stomach. Is this all he is now? A gravestone?

She clutches the barbed stems of the bouquet, staring for too long at the name engraved in stone until a lady tries to walk past, snapping at her, excuse me leaving her pale lips.

Serenity mumbles sorry, not moving her sleep deprived eyes away before taking a step closer to her elegant loved one, a step too close makes her shiver. It's been too long... Too long and she's already tearful.

Son, grandson and friend.

Too graceful of a soul.

Serenity sits down, her covered knees scraping the filthy mud around his place as she prepares herself to talk to Namjoon. She'd prepare even when he was alive, talking to him had to be perfect and committing.

Serenity places the bouquet beside the stone. She gazes at the ripped letters, the dying plants and soggy grass.

Serenity's heart stops when she sees her letter.

She sits still, her body huddled together as her eyes widen in shock, trying to process what is in front of her. It's her writing, her envelope, her letter. She continues to stare at the dusty envelope, unsealed with her affectionate letter addressed to Namjoon, filled with long-forgotten emotions. How did it get here? The address on the letter is his parents' house. Serenity is beyond confused.

Serenity's breathing pattern changes as she reaches out to grab her letter, but her fingers stroke the brisk gravestone instead. It makes her flinch, recoiling back and she clasps her hands in her lap, slightly anxious.

Serenity continues to stare at her small calloused hands, unsure of where to begin. She needs him to talk to, but he's gone. She can't even remember what he sounds like and that hurts the most. Imagining what he would reply, advise and reassure with is getting harder to imagine.

"I came here to talk to you." She whispers to Namjoon, or herself. She doesn't know anymore.

She's here to pour her heart out to the person she misses every single day.

"I haven't been here lately." Serenity apologises and makes herself sit more comfortably. She sits cross legged, hands tied in her lap as she takes a deep breath. "I've been busy. I hate being old."

Serenity doesn't have the energy to laugh at her exaggeration because she hears a loud cry erupt from a lady nearby. A cry from a person who mourns a death. The sound makes the female flinch again.

Serenity keeps her eyes glued to the soil. The coarse, beige texture is felt against her knees- through the material, scraping against them as she stares strongly at the sight in front of her. She realises this is where he is, this is where everyone will be one day whether or not they like it. There is no free will and it scares her.

Serenity attempts to swallow the lump in her throat, fix herself and appear more... Collected as she sits up straight- many thoughts running through her mind, especially her letter that's here magically. How the hell is it here?

What am I doing? - She shouts at herself and closes her eyes tightly, focusing her mind on nothing but her lost loved friend. Although, she never knew him long, she felt like she spent lifetimes with Namjoon. Lifetimes of knowledge, affection and humorous memories.

"Namjoon." Serenity can't help but breathe out, her voice irregular as she opens her eyes. "I'm so afraid. I miss you so much."

"You know those letters I told you about... On one of the times, I visited you here?" Serenity remembers her desperately talking to a gravestone- seeking comfort and relief from someone who isn't alive anymore. She looked psychotic. If her parents saw her, they'd scoff.

The rain was heavy that day and many offered her an umbrella, but she unintentionally ignored them because she wanted her muted tears to join the roaring weeps of the weather. "They got sent out. How insane!"

"I'm so fucking scared." Serenity lets out a crimped sigh. The fear is hitting her more now. She never imagined what she'd do if the letters were released- she always took such good care of the keys to her heart. "Sorry, I shouldn't be cursing but I don't know what's going on-"

She sighs again, frustration joining every known emotion such as impatience and grief. "I don't know how they're going to react. Hoseok is fine about it; we've decided not to talk about it." Serenity still feels disappointed, wanting at least a small comment of closure made about her love letter to him but she's a lady with useless faith.

"Jin... I don't want to bring up anything to do with him from the past. He just won't give up. I don't understand. He hasn't changed since high school, he never even tried to be just friends with me."

"Then there's... Taehyung oh my god." A familiar glimpse of careless bangs, straight at the ends with wide, virtuous eyes is what flashes through her mind. "It's like the past, present and future all mixing together and it's so terrifying- why?" Serenity pulls at her unwashed hair. "That's something you would say. You always had a way with your words Namjoon."

"Hm, who else?" Serenity leans her chin on her hand, trying to think of the seven letters that she accidentally sent out. She needs clarification, evidence. What if they got sent elsewhere? "Fuck. Jungkook."

"I don't remember the last time I saw him and I'm still so-"

"It doesn't matter." Serenity dismisses the topic with the wave of her hand, and she changes the subject to the next boy she had loved in the past.

"Jimin... He'll probably laugh and not remember me. I'm sure it's been years since he last thought about me. He's the one who left me after all." She shrugs.

"Yoongi, I don't know. We haven't caught up in a long time. It's not good between us." A sense of respite fills Serenity but a funny feeling remains- one filled with suspense and uncertainty. "I hope he doesn't retrieve the letter. I want our past to remain nowhere but in the past." She nods to herself.

"But having all these letters torn away from my past, brought to the surface into the present, makes my anxiety worse."

An ugh leaves Serenity. "It's not fair, why did I have to be so stupid? It's all my fault and now my life is going to be even messier."

Her hand reaches out to touch his gravestone, but she pulls it back, simply not ready. She still finds it hard to come to terms with the fact that her supportive, caring friend is gone forever. He never got to see her succeed, achieve her degree and be more autonomous. He'll never get to see her in the distant future, with a family of her own with a hectic life as a mother. And she'll never get to see Namjoon. His dreams used to swim in his eyes and now they've drowned.

"And your letter." She glances at the stolen paper. "I was so devastated about never getting it back but now it's in front of me."

"It's in its rightful place with you. I'll read it for you before I go, let me just finish my emotional rant." She wipes her tears whilst laughing.

"Losing your letter created a horrible pit in my stomach because it was all I had left of you." Serenity plays with the silver, thin rings on her fingers. "Your presence, your personality and our memories, both good and bad."

She's remembering so much all at the same time, that she's crying and smiling at the same time. How odd. Namjoon and her walking in the park, wearing fluffy gloves and lengthy scarves, her helping him into his bed even though he said he didn't need help, her driving him to appointments, her screaming at Namjoon's parents when they stopped caring, and her and Namjoon staring at the stars.

"So, when my drunk self, gave the letters away... It broke me because your letter means so much to me." Serenity's voice breaks.

"But I'm going to leave it here with you." Serenity makes a bold decision. "It belongs here with you... The stars and the grass."

"You didn't deserve to die Namjoon." Serenity feels anger. It's not something she feels often.

"You deserved a life where you had more happy days than bad days. You deserved to see another day of sunshine because the day you passed away, it was raining and foggy, a normal day for everyone but a traumatising day for me and you." She starts.

"You deserved to live another day where you would smile when I would randomly hug you, wrap your scarf securely around your neck and you'd smile because the scent and feel of autumn made you so happy. You died in summer, but you deserved to live for another autumn."

Serenity feels her body shake due to her uncontrollable tears and she can't talk. "I hate that you were taken away from the world... Away from me."

"Excuse me!"

Serenity turns her head towards the direction of the voice.

She sees the mailman standing outside of her house, waiting for her to approach him.

"Hey, how are you?" She asks, baffled as to why he's waiting for her... Until she sees the letter he's waving in his hand.

"A handsome young man left you a letter. He told me to give it to you personally to make sure you got it." The aged man places it in her hand with a grin.

"I forgot his name though, sorry." The man chuckles.

Serenity can barely focus, breathe... Because today had already been too hysterical for her. Her entire body is hurting, and her eyes are sore. She can't register the shock running through her body as she holds the delicate letter.

"What did he look like?"

"Tall... Very tall. Brown hair and he had dark eyes-"

Her voice shakes. "Taehyung? Was that his name?"

"That's him!"

A reply from Taehyung is in Serenity's hands and she's amazed.