《Wattpad India Awards 2021》Learn: Dialogue
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Let's talk about dialogue.
The previous 'show, don't tell' rule really carries over here. Not a lot of people just say their feelings or state things like "that makes me angry!" This is typically why you have exchanges with friends or significant others that go like this:
"Hey, are you feeling okay?"
"Fine, why?"
"You just look kind of down."
"Well like I said, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Because when I said we were going to go the pizza place, you just... like you gave me a look? I could see it."
"So?"
"So it makes me think you're not actually okay with it."
"Well it wasn't my favorite moment but it's whatever."
"Actual whatever or this is where we stop whatever?"
"This is where we stop."
"Okay. Fine."
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Even if someone eventually did admit to being upset, there's more to it than jumping straight in. It feels kind of awkward and strange in this way:
"Hey, are you feeling okay?"
"No, I'm angry over you picking the pizza place. It made me sad that you did it and didn't consider my feelings."
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It is possible you've read or seen dialogue that looked like that though. There's a lot of strange dialogue quirks in the world of fiction that are just not true in how we talk. A big offender is people expressing themselves stiffly or flatly.
The question for you, as a writer, is if this sounds like a character talking to another character or if this is you as an author trying to say something to the audience.
When characters are speaking, they should be telling something to another character (and showing something to the audience). When you write a description, you are telling and showing the audience something. You generally shouldn't be mixing the two and have characters speak description.
This is also what causes situations where characters say things that the other character already knows. The common "let's go over the plan again."
So when you're going for dialogue, remember that the characters are talking to each other, not the audience. You can show a lot about a character through how they talk in the same way you can make judgments about someone based on how they talked when you first meet them.
Your evaluation of a piece of dialogue will be:
This is most of your dialogue. People have to talk about the things that move the plot forward or interact with those who will. The detective has to talk to the suspect. The lovers have to talk on their date.
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This is your other dialogue, little bits and pieces that show you who they are or tell you something about how the conversation is making them feel. It might not move the scene forward, but it gives the reader information to help better connect with the character or to see a character arc forming.
Then remember, human speech is messy. We talk over each other, we stumble with words, we mix things up. You can't have characters talk over each other in books because of the nature of words, but you can certainly mix in little pieces of real speech in the form of flow.
Let your characters bounce back and forth with one another. Let them jump in and interrupt, let them use abbreviations, let one of them off-handedly mention something, let one of them make a joke. Remember, there can be repetitive adjectives and imperfect grammar in dialogues. We don't talk faultlessly and so neither should our characters.
Here's a simple example:
"I just mean I really want to go to the umm... the... oh man how am I blanking on this?"
"The track?"
"Yes, exactly, the track. I really want to go there."
It doesn't take much to give your characters a moment to feel real, even if most of the rest of the dialogue is in a perfectly formatted, mistake-free style.
You can't go way off the mark with this because, similar to description rules, the longer you spend on something, the more people will think it is important. And also because plenty of parts of speech are boring. But adding in these little moments helps make your dialogue feel natural.
Let's also take a moment to cover .
You need to use them to help indicate who is speaking in most scenarios. They typically come after the line of dialogue, exist outside the apostrophes, and don't care about the prior punctuation. To cover some examples:
"It can't be," he said.
"It can't be!" he said.
As you see, the exclamation point doesn't cause it to be a new sentence with capitals.
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"It can't be," he said. "That was supposed to be me."
You only need the dialogue tag for the first sentence
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"I just cannot imagine," he started, pacing around the room, "a world where this works out."
This is getting into some weird territory where the tag is nested mid-sentence in order to allow for a little description. Breaking up the dialogue like this helps with setting a pace for the scene and helps juggle the balancing act of dialogue and description.
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"It can't be," he said. He took out a large vial and tapped his finger against it, watching the contents react. It started to glow in response, growing in strength and casting a golden-yellow light on his face. "This is unreal."
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Since every time a new person speaks, we start a new paragraph, we can keep the same person speaking in the same paragraph without adding another dialogue tag.
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During some scenes, dialogue tags could be skipped over as sometimes it's obvious which two people are talking. From here on it gets more into style and creative application of dialogue that you will develop over time.
When it comes to dialogue tags and variation, you do need to avoid 'said' repeating, that is true. But it is going to be used a lot and that's okay. Most stuff is just said.
Mix in alternates, but if you go out of your way to make sure every dialogue tag is unique in a scene or conversation, it looks very strange and obvious. Having just a couple of alternates (whispered, muttered, hissed, snarled, drawled, sneered, mocked) plus dropping the tag should give you enough flexibility to avoid repeating 'said' without looking like you busted out a thesaurus.
Here's another example:
"I can't believe it," he said faintly. "It was never meant to end like this."
Adding a verb after 'said' can sometimes help you describe the sound of the dialogue without having to use synonyms for said.
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Last note, how your characters speak is going to be symbolic of who they are. If they all talk the same, it disregards their character traits. Your readers will struggle to tell them apart, and they'll all end up bland even if they're all exciting.
For example, not every character can be sassy at all times. Most people aren't all sassy at all. Dialogue is a reflection of the character. If you say they're shy and introverted, but they talk the same as the extrovert party character, nobody will believe it.
Description helps to enhance dialogue in much the same way you talking to someone on the phone is different from when you can see their body language and behavior. Dialogue enhances description by giving insight into the actions characters are doing and showing you who they really are.
We'll take a prior fight about the pizza place and add the description.
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"Hey," Tim said, "are you feeling okay?" He leaned over Suzanne slightly, trying to catch a glimpse of her expression but her auburn hair had curtained her face.
"Fine, why?" Suzanne kept her head down as she tugged on her fingers in her lap
"You just look kind of down." Tim straightened up and checked around the room for another chair he could pull over, but the only one was an ornate armchair, which looked a bit on the heavy side. He decided to just keep standing.
"Well like I said, I'm fine," Suzanne insisted, an edge to her tone.
"Are you sure?" Tim asked dubiously.
"Yes."
An awkward silence settled between the two. Suzanne seemed determined to stare at the ground, leaving Tim to stare at her head.
"Because, well," Tim spoke up, trying to break through the pause, "when I said we were going to go the pizza place you just... like you gave me a look? I could see it."
Suzanne shifted slightly in her seat in response to Tim's words. He scratched his back, still feeling a tingle from being bent over. He was starting to feel really old, mentally complaining about his back. Maybe it was just the stress of the situation weighing on him.
"So?" Suzanne demanded. She looked up finally, her eyes blazing. Tim gulped down a ball of nerves in his throat.
"So it makes me think you're not actually okay with it," he said. She was no longer pulling on her fingers, her hands were clenched tight in fists as she shifted in her seat.
"Well it wasn't my favorite moment," Suzanne hissed, "but it's whatever."
She turned away from him again. Tim rubbed his eyes and sighed.
"Actual whatever or this is where we stop whatever?"
"This is where we stop."
"Okay. Fine."
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And there is our example. You could insert some paragraphs of just description into this scene and elaborate further on the moments in between. You could add more dialogue tags, maybe take some away. It starts to become a game of style. There's also a visual trick in here. When you add in description and mix with your dialogue, the shape of the text is different.
Very different from single lines.
Which can make the story look very thin or empty.
Since you have to start a new line when someone talks.
And you read them very fast.
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Just like that, you have description and dialogue.
There's so much more detail for each of them and a lot of techniques to explore and learn over time. Some you study, some you pick up as you practice, and others just form through writing. Since everyone is unique in how they execute, this is also where you can study everyone else just to see how they tackle the same problems you do. It doesn't necessarily mean there's a right or perfect way, just a lot of different ways.
Don't forget to mention the name of the story and of writer. We'll share some of our favorites on Instagram.
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