Trigger Warning; This is a Remus chapter....yeah...and he's talking with Remy...so...

Mentions of gore, cursing, bad parenting, vulgar thoughts about Uno cards(Just...read it..._), mentions of triggering a phobia

A/N- There's alot of stupid puns in this, but I'm proud of all of them, so shut up.

Remus isn't used to pure kindness. He's used to yelling, and sass, and snarky replies. He's used to insults, deprecation, and a small, painful hollowness. His parents hated him for existing. They weren't supposed to have twin boys. Their plan was 1 boy and 1 girl. Preferably- older brother younger sister. But no, they had twin boys. So obviously- one of them was a mistake. And obviously- it was the second one. The one that came into existence like an unwanted after thought.

He was intrusive. Or so- that's how his parents treated him. As if he were nothing more than an intrusive thought. So- he gave them many, shameless, unwanted thoughts throughout his life. He diligently searched up disturbing facts and ideas online, then he'd speak (scream, preferably) them at the most inappropriate times. Until the thoughts just came naturally, true or not, and it just became part of who he is.

And he loves the freedom of it. He says whatever he wants, and no one can stop him. It's definitely a sure fire way to make sure none of his friends are fake. He's not popular, but he loves the friends he has. He has 2 friends, Remy and Emile. Emile is fascinated with the way Remus' mind works, and is constantly asking questions about how he gets to his responses.

Whenever Remus wants to do something stupid, Remy's only response is, "Okay, but first, Starbucks."

And then, by that point, they're calmed down and Emile had convinced them to not capture a vulture and set it loose in Roman's school- but hey, an evil twin can dream!

You would think that Remus would skip school, but no. Why?

Causing Chaos is envigorating.

He loves his friends

He loves seeing his parents faces when he "surprisingly" gets good grades

Remus wants to either be a psychologist(he would know how to mess with anyone who bothers him. Insult his best friend? Hey, let's make you highly uncomfortable and possibly trigger some type of phobia!), a medical examiner so he can perform autopsies, a surgeon (do you know how many guts and how much blood we would get to look through?) Or one of those survival show hosts, the ones who kiss snakes and eat beetles~!

So, yes, Remus Prince the Unknown, does plan on having a life. He may be a wild card, but even wild cards have a purpose, and, in Uno, they're everyone's favorite.

Speaking of Uno...

Remus threw down a wild +4 card on the stack.

Remy gaped, "Um, bitch! How do you keep getting all of the wild cards?"

Remus smiled and shrugged, "Maybe the cards are Remus-sexual."

Remy looked at him over his sunglasses, "Remus-sexual" you mean they'd be cool with fucking you?"

Remus grinned, "I meannnn.....if they want~" Remus glances thoughtfully at the wildcard on top of the pile.

Emile flushed at the conversation going on, "Um- how about none of us have intercourse with playing cards!?"

Remus smiled, "Aw~ Emmy~ don't be jealous ~~!! I can- "

What Remus could do was cut off by sputtering from Emile, "N- no, Remus!" Emile flopped his blue 5 on top of the green 5 Remy placed.

Remus, "Boring~~!!"

It was Emile's turn, again, when Remus decided to insert, "JELLY MADE OUT OF BLOOD AND GUTS!"

Remy froze and just stared at Remus like, wtf..?

Emile tilted his head at Remus, "...how did you think of that...?"

Remus grinned at the question. He loves when people show interest in his thoughts, it makes him feel safe and validated, "Well, people in movies always say blood is made out of jam as a joke- I made my brother think I blended my hand off, but the blood was just ketchup," Remus remembered the false concern his self centered brother showed, and resisted frowning. Was it false...? "So I thought- but what if it was real!?"

"Why did you trick your brother like that?" Emile wrote something down on a Tigger notepad he always carries around.

Remus scowled, "Because he's a heartless el princi-poop. He deserves a scare."

Emile, "Hm...can we meet him?"

Remus, "....why do you want to meet my twin bother?

Remy, "Babes, Emili-licious loves figuring out why people act the way they do. You and your brother's out there personalities are paradise to him."

Remus shrugged, "Fine, but let me know if he starts a acting like a brag queen."

Emile was practically bouncing, "Yay, thank you so much!"

The Crystal Rems rolled their eyes with affection.

Obviously, Emile gave them that nickname.