I don't want to spend another day without

you baby

I was always described as a good girl. Never got into trouble at school, I was always mannerly, and respectful.

My specialty in the face of blatant disrespect has always been to turn the other cheek or to use my words to hurt.

It was what my mommy had taught me.

"Be the bigger person."

"They're not worth it."

"Take the high road."

She'd always tell me those things because she would be there to protect me.

But now, she was gone and her voice was locked behind a soundproof door located in the back of my head and I couldn't hear her.

I'm sorry mommy but no, not this time.

Turning the other cheek was definitely out of the question and it was clear that my words were not sufficient. Because the last thing I remembered was watching Zora's eyes widen as a result of the unexpected pressure that I applied to her neck.

My ears were dead to all of the noise and shouting in the background.

I barely heard any of it.

I barely felt any of it.

I barely saw any of it.

That's probably why I didn't see when Zora took a swing at me. I managed to duck at the last minute, so her hand only managed to swipe the side of my chin.

Everything went downhill from there and fast too.

Her leg swung toward me so my hand dropped from her neck to block it. Before I knew it we were tussling on the floor.

I guess I was wrong.

Zora did have a tad bit of black girl in her after all.

Soon someone's arm hooked around my waist and grasped me tightly.

It was over, as soon as it started.

Giving up, I relaxed for a few seconds and let her go.

I proved my point. The damage was done.

And most importantly, the realization hit me. All of my senses started to flood back to their appropriate positions.

Adrenaline bled out.

The anger began to dissipate.

Regret wandered in.

Zora flailed dramatically on the floor gasping loudly as her friends and security surrounded her.

"Call the medic!" One of them shouted.

"Stupid bitch! She tried to kill me!" She called with a raspy voice from the floor.

I almost rolled my eyes. Someone get this girl an Oscar.

Zora was fine and she knew it too. The most she'd have is a bruise on her neck, maybe a mark on her cheek, and a story to tell in the morning.

It was the small price she'd pay for picking a fight.

Before I knew it, I was levitating off of the floor and turned upside down. Dave hoisted me in the air and onto his shoulder with ease. I didn't even struggle against his hold. Surprisingly, I was calm, sort of cool, but not quite so collected.

The way he man handled me, reminded me of the night I saw his ex in a club two years ago. Except then, I could use the fact that I was drunk as an excuse for my actions.

Voices still rattled around us. A camera flash went off. More security guards entered the area.

From my vulnerable position, I managed to spot Bri and Nene too. I glimpsed Bri pointing her fingers and cursing at Zora's friend while Nene argued with one of the security guards.

When did they get here?

Jay was near his wife with his arm secured around her waist, preventing her from going any further. They only added to the chaotic scene I left behind.

Dave had carried me off to an empty media room in the tunnel and without protest I let him put me down onto the carpeted for.

I stood unbalanced as I realized one of my shoes wasn't on my feet.

Damn, I was a mess.

A mess that was about to have a panic attack after I realized what I'd just done.

I jumped as Dave slammed the wide black metal door and locked it.

My hands glided shakily through my hair and I stared at the burgundy carpet that covered the room's floor.

My emotions were changing as if someone was controlling them with a switch. My body couldn't choose one to focus on...until I glanced up and saw the expression on his handsome face.

Now I was scared.

An argument was in the air. No, a screaming match. He was about to go in on me and I knew once again, that I wasn't going to sit there and take it.

No.

I'd give as much as he took.

More chaos to seal the pending doom that I allowed to accumulate over the past few weeks.

Dave's nose flared while he brought one hand to grab his forehead. The other grasped the white towel tightly at his waist.

I can't believe he ran out of the locker room half-naked for me.

"Don't move." He said lowly with his eyes burning into mine.

"I-" I tried to speak up. Truthfully, I didn't even know what the fuck I was going to say.

"Do not leave this room Allaya." His voice got deeper and bolder. Seriousness outlined the six words.

He dared me to defy him.

He didn't even have to shout.

Dave took a menacing step toward me and I low-key held my breath, waiting for him to explode.

I knew he would. I waited for him too. So that I could deflect the rest of my anger onto him. Because that's what I did when I was angry and couldn't control my emotions, I communicated with more irrational anger.

It was a fault that I was still working on.

For someone who craved peace, I knew that I enjoyed arguing. Moments of madness that I could control to satisfy the toxic control freak in me.

To my surprise, he let out a long and frustrating breath then turned around, unlocked the door, and turned the handle. The veins in his hand popped up from his skin as he gripped it.

Nothing slipped from his lips.

Not a single word.

And still, I stood up straighter and nodded my head.

The influx of air and noise disturbed me as he forced the door open more and pushed himself through the pact of security on the outside.

Bri crept in behind him. He bent his head to her ear and murmured something to her before leaving.

When the door closed, the volume of her voice grew as she shot a million questions at me.

"Laya you alright? What the fuck happened?" She wrapped an arm around my shoulder, encouraging me to sit down on the black leather sofa behind us.

Staring out the same door Dave just left out of, I ignored her for a bit.

I didn't even realize when some random person tried to push the door open until Bri screamed at them to leave and security blocked the door's entrance.

"Lay? Laya? Allaya?! Can you hear me?" She asked.

"What did Dave say to you when he left?" I finally acknowledged her, still lost.

"He said that he was coming back in a few and asked me to stay with you."

"There's a swarm of people out there tryna figure out what the fuck went down and you're in here shaking and lost as hell." She sighed. "Are you okay?"

For the moment, I finally snapped out of the adrenaline-fueled trance I was in and provided her with a somewhat coherent answer.

"I can't believe that shit happened." I raked my hands through my hair once again.

"That girl deserved whatever came her way Laya. You have nothing to regret."

A dry chuckle left my lips. "That's the funny thing, Bri. I don't regret any of it."

In fact, I'd do it again.

"Then what's the problem?" She looked at me with confusion. "I'm lowkey proud of you for standing up for yourself. Shit, I just wish I was there to get a lick in for the hell of it."

"I regret letting my emotions get the best of me Bri."

"With Zora? Laya, fuck that bitch!"

"No with Dave." I shook my head. "I should've been better at communicating with him. I let this shit fester for too long." I stood from the couch and placed a hand on top of my head.

Let's not get it twisted. I meant every word that I said to him during halftime...I just wish that I said exactly what I meant and felt long before today.

A raging headache was forming and all the overthinking I was doing was making it worse.

Bro looked up at me from the couch. "I mean duhh!"

I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Everything with you is like déjà vu." She muttered.

"I swear to God, I don't understand how you could be so smart but so freaking slow at the same time." She shook her head at me.

Well damn.

"I've watched you run a multi-million dollar business and take care of two toddlers with confidence and courage. Like you destroy any obstacle that comes your way. But God forbid, as soon as you and that man have a hiccup in your relationship you fold faster than a two-dollar hoe."

I folded my lips inward.

"Allaya..." She stood and wrapped me in a hug. "I imma give it to you straight."

"Brielle, I really don't want to talk about this right now." Why was I so nervous all of a sudden?

"Well Allaya, it's because you're scared of what's going to happen once Dave enters that room." My inner self answered.

Bri spoke as if she could hear the silent conversation that I was having with myself.

My strong, stubborn, crazy best friend, grasped me and looked straight into my eyes.

"Get the fuck out of your head!" She started strongly. "You gotta get out of your head Laya. Stop overthinking shit. The people you need to talk to are in the real world not in there." She pointed at my forehead.

I gave her a sad smirk, "You make it sound like I'm crazy."

She returned with a smirk of her own, "You are!"

"Dave loves you more than anything — I see it every time he looks at you, in the way he talks to you, and most importantly in how he treats you. You need to accept the fact that relationships are NOT perfect. You of all people should know this considering all the ghetto ass shit y'all deal with."

My mouth hung open at her bluntness.

"What?" She dared me to argue with her. "Secret lives, gangster daddies, a hidden pregnancy, that shit sounds like a Love & Hip Hop episode Lay."

This time I did laugh even though tears burned my eyes.

"These last few months have been ALOT for you. I can't even begin to understand what you've been going through. But listen to me when I say that you and Dave got something worth fighting for.

I took a deep breath. At that moment I was thankful for Bri. Even though everything that she said - I already knew myself, it sounded more real coming from someone else.

"I'm not saying to ignore your feelings and forgive him easily. No, you make him work for it but don't shut him out. Relationships are an investment, so put your money where your mouth is."

I absorbed her final words in silence.

"Damn, when did you get so insightful Dr. Phil?" I tried to joke to prevent my emotions from overwhelming me.

"When I started hanging out with you, Nene and Eva dumbasses." She leaned her head on my shoulder. "One of us has to be the emotionally intelligent one."

Both of our chests shook with laughter as I covered her hand with mine and held it. "Thank you...Big Booty Bri." I called her by the nickname I gave her in college.

"Anytime Baby Mama with all the drama."

I coughed up an ugly giggle. "I love your silly ass."

"Love you too. More than a fat kid loves cake, Laya." She answered the way we always did when we told each other those three words.

I finally took the time to look around us and then I looked down at myself.

"I'm a damn mess. Where's my bag? My phone? I'm missing a fucking shoe??" I limped towards the room's door with unbalanced legs.

As soon as I finished that sentence the large door opened, allowing Dave to walk through. He was fully dressed and holding my bag, phone, and my other shoe in his hand.

Right on time.

His broad back blocked the noise coming from the tunnel. I heard some of the questions being thrown at him by random people. But we both ignored them as we stared at each other.

Before he could venture further into the room, Bri turned to him and pointed her small finger at his broad chest.

"East." She said with conviction. These two always got along but Brielle was not interested in being friendly. "Let me paint this picture for you. You're Jay-Z. Laya's Beyoncé. I'm Solange."

Even as Bri continued to talk, Dave's eyes never left mine. His focus was all on me. "Think of this small ass room as that elevator. You make her more upset than she already is and Zora ain't gon' be the only one who got her ass beat."

Dave didn't even budge at Brielle's threat.

"I'm gonna go...and make sure Nene hasn't killed anyone out there. We don't need no more problems." She said while slipping out the exit behind Dave. While his back was turned she jumped to give me two thumbs up before she left.

I wanted to laugh again but Dave's stone-like expression forced me to gulp it back down.

Even with the door closed, the small room felt very cold. Goosebumps traveled up my hands and prickled my arms as he stalked closer to me.

He tossed the items in his hands on the couch and then commanded,

"Come here." His voice was rough, almost uninviting.

I think he saw the hesitation in me because when he spoke again, it was much softer.

"Come here Laya, please."

This time my legs actually worked and I walked straight into his open arms.

Definitely not what I was expecting.

His large body engulfed me in what could only be described as a bear hug. My face nestled into his pectoral muscles and I breathed him in, taking in the longest inhale known to man.

With his arms wrapped around me, each goosebump melted back into my skin. His hands traveled up and down my spine to soothe me.

We stood like this in silence for about five minutes until he stepped back while still holding onto my elbows.

Those brown eyes that I fell in love with looked down and inspected my face. "You good? No cuts, no bruises, no scrapes, no nothing?"

"I'm good." I nodded shyly.

Still, he held me. Bending his head to look at my wrist. His thumb brushed over the purple mark forming after he initially grabbed my hand away from Zora.

"Fuck, I'm sorry baby." He genuinely sounded hurt over the small bruise.

I don't know why, but I chose that moment to break down too.

"I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to cause trouble when today was supposed to be about you." Tears poured out my eyes as I tried to speak through them.

I swear to God, I was never a cry baby before I met this man.

It was as if all the tears I had been holding onto before he came into my life, found their way out of my body in order to make room for more emotions.

"I let my anger get the best of me and I didn't listen to you...and...and I'm sorry for-"

God, if Bri and Nene saw me right now they'd be shaking their head. Me? Apologize to a man? The old Laya would've beat my ass.

"Aye, you good baby. Shh...it's gon' be alright." Dave cooed pulling me on top of him as he sat down on the sofa. My tears soaked through the shirt that he was wearing.

His thumbs worked swiftly to clear the falling droplets of water that raced down my face.

"Why are you crying Lay?" His concern made my heart ache. "Whatever happened...happened. Zora's ass got what the fuck she deserved."

He was the second person to tell me that, and now I was genuinely starting to believe it.

"I thought you'd be mad at me because I caused a scene. You must be so fucking embarrassed." I sniffled. "You were so adamant about me stepping back and I didn't listen to you. And then when I did walk away... I only ran back to..." I couldn't even get the right words out.

"Whoop her ass." A small smile appeared on his lips. "How could I be embarrassed when you won the fight?" He joked during the tense moment.

At least he made me smile a bit.

One of his hands rested on my lower back as I straddled him on the couch, while the other tipped my chin so I would be forced to look at him.

"You don't ever have to apologize for defending yourself or our family." He kissed my forehead. "I should be the one apologizing to you considering this whole thing is my fault. I should've told you sooner. I should've kept Zora away from you. I failed and disappointed you when it came to that and left you to defend yourself." He looked right into my eyes.

"Dave...." I shook my head. "You couldn't have hit her."

"Still...I should've made sure her ass left and couldn't reach you. And her being a female don't matter either, when it comes to you and the girls...anybody could get it." His lips turned into a smaller smirk. "I would've sent Eva on her ass."

I shifted in his lap, making myself more comfortable so that I could lay my head on his shoulder.

My face was pressed against his neck and his arms surrounded me.

I was instantly at peace. Until my mind went back to Bri's brief tough love session.

"Why do we fuck everything up? And wait until it's too late to do anything about it?" I whispered not wanting to ruin the moment. "We're long overdue for a face-to-face. I'll take the blame for that. I know how stubborn and unreasonable I can be when I'm upset."

Quietly, I listened to his heart beat rhythmically as his hand stroked my back.

"We don't fuck everything up. We never did fuck anything up. Your feelings are valid, Lay. You had every right to feel the way you did." He stated simply. "You pick the time and the place. I'm not gonna rush you. As long as at the end of it all, you and I end up together."

My mind could not wrap around how understanding he was being. It made me hate myself even more for pushing him away.

"How about me and you get outta here?" A kiss was planted on the top of my head.

"Okay, but I wanna leave Atlanta. Tomorrow is gonna be hell with all this shit on the blogs and social media." My voice was faint.

I wasn't thinking about that before. Dave was a huge public figure, I was too considering my relationship with him. I tried my best to keep myself out of the limelight but people got to know a bit about me through him.

This incident was going to be everywhere and knowing Zora she'd drag it all the way out for clout.

"Let me worry about all that shit, hmm. I promise you I got it handled."

Allaya Daniels was mine.

Mine to love,

Mine to cherish,

And mine to protect.

Nothing would ever change that.

From the sidewalk of the service entrance at the back of the stadium. I watched Laya get into the back seat of the Black Cadillac SUV with Bri and Nene.