I know I wasn't there for you, at least I said I'm sorry

"Pleaseeee please please please", Bri begged.

I rolled my eyeballs in my head for what felt like the millionth time today.

"No Brielle. Damn you ain't get it aye?"

"But why not? You ain't been home in like three years, don't you miss your dad...or your family?"

I keep forgetting that she doesn't know that my father and I are estranged. But I should've known this was coming. It was that time of year again. The time where Bri tried to get me to go on summer vacation with her in Turks.

It's not that I don't miss home, or the rest of my family that lives there. But it wasn't a place I wanted to visit now that my mother was gone. Things weren't the same.

"I just... don't feel like going. Why can't you and Devon go? You know he loves it down there."

"Girl, all Devon wants to do is go to the beach and have my mama cook for him. I wanna go with you so we could do hoodrat shit...and maybe take a yacht down to Exuma to swim with the pigs."

I laughed lightly, "I'm too grown for hood rat shit."

She sucked her teeth. "A bitch swear she thirty five or sumn when you barely twenty three. Always acting like an old ass mother of three that can't go no where." She pouted.

"Let me move my bang , because I thought a bitch with lifting lace said sumn." I retorted at her, pretending to move hair from my face.

Bri was getting mean since she couldn't get her own way. She immediately narrowed her eyes at me and picked up her phone to look at her reflection. She used her fingers to smooth down the edges of her wig and inspected the baby hairs.

"My lace ain't lifting hoe."

"I know", I said cooly. "I just wanted a reaction out of you."

"You are so freakin' manipulative. I hate you!" she rolled her eyes trying hard not to laugh.

"Girl I hate me too"

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, I had a few more orders to pack. Thanks again for ordering for me", Nene plunked down in the booth next to Bri.

"Ohhh you look cute and you're glowing. I see you girl!" she said to me.

I was pleasantly surprised by her jovial mood considering how I saw her on Friday night.

"That's good dick. I hear nut make your skin glow like that" Bri pointed out while munching on the complimentary bed on the table.

I just looked at her. I don't even know why I'm shocked at what comes out of her mouth anymore.

"I say this with the utmost seriousness. You need to be brought before the Lord in prayer." Nene said laughing.

"What?? I'm deadass, I read that the other day" Bri shrugged.

"Anywayyy" I eyed Bri carefully. She knew the real reason why we were at lunch today - to make sure that Ne was good. "How's business going Nene?"

"I'm freaking swamped! Jackie Aina just did a video on our products, then we got those features in Vogue and Elle...by the way thanks so much for working that out Bri."

"Of course, they need to feature more black owned businesses. I'm just glad I have the connections to get you a full spread. We'll work on Cosmo and the rest next." Bri explained.

I was so proud that I could sit at a table with successful black women, who I could also call my friends. Bri was running shit in the whitewashed fashion industry and Ne was taking over the beauty game with her cosmetics line. Then me...well maybe I'll get there one day. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that all my homegirls were black boss babes from the Caribbean.

"But yeah orders keep on rolling in and my manufacturer keeps coming up with more dope ass formulas and I wanna do a new line for the fall but, I need to hire more help and get a bigger space."

"You know I'm free whenever you need me to help you pack orders and stuff. Or I can take the week off to hold interviews and a warehouse is small tings, I can find one for you in no time.", I told her pulling out my phone ready to find her a new location.

"I know but Kyle said that I don't need it right now because the hype around my brand will die down soon, then it'll be a waste of our money."

"Tell Kyle sit his broke, hating ass down somewhere and what is OUR money?", Bri asked irritatingly.

Ugh I didn't want this conversation to go like this. Bri was the type of person that taught with tough love. She said what was on her mind, and spared no feelings.

But she did have a point, what did Nene mean by "our money?". I joined Bri who was also looking inquisitively at her for an answer.

"Shaneice Holder, does that man own stake in your company?" I asked carefully. She needed to know that I was serious.

She played with the metal straw in her mojito before finally speaking up, "No he just sometimes refers to my money as ours."

I leaned back in the booth a bit relieved. If Kyle had ownership in Nene's company that would make it harder for her to cut ties with him altogether.

"So what's been going on with you two? Does he hit you?" Bri asked the million dollar question. We were supposed to be easing our way into this, but of course Bri's bold ass just came right out with it.

"Hit me?!" I could tell by her voice that she was lying. "Girl no we've just been in this rough patch lately because he's upset the I made him move from Toronto and then he's having a hard time finding a stable job in the city. He's just so stressed and I haven't been making it easier because I nag him and I'm so busy with the company so it's all really my faul-"

"Ne ain't shit your fault! Leave that asshole! Don't let that worthless nigga have you out here doubting yourself." Bri was stating all facts but her tough love approach wasn't empowering Nene to do anything. In fact I visible saw her cower from the tone of Bri's voice. This wasn't the way to do it.

"Brielle can you go check on our order?"

"Laya I am not a waiter and I was talking to Ne-"

"Go and check on the friggin' order" I said lowly

My mom always told me that it was no use beating people when they were already down.

She reluctantly left the booth and this gave me the perfect time to speak with our friend. I reached across the table to grab her arm, to make her look at me.

"Ne you know she means well...", I began. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, as she nodded her head in agreement. "But we both hate to see our beautiful, intelligent and successful friend degrade her value because of a toxic relationship. The way that Kyle treats you is no way a man should treat a woman."

"H-he says he loves me Lay"

"Love shouldn't make you cry like this. He should be empowering you, your business and not deflecting his problems onto you." I spoke softly.

I prayed that my words were getting through to her because all she did was look away from me with silent tears rolling from her eyes.

I sighed heavily. "Ne look at me. Whenever you are ready to leave him, I'm only a call or text away. I will literally drop everything to meet you and help you pack all your shit up so that you can go. Hell I'll even beat his ass for you. Just call me when you're ready, we can figure this out together."

There was a thirty second silence between us that felt like hours. She finally broke it when she whispered, "Thank you Laya". I reached across the table to hug her tightly pulling back just in time for Bri to slide in.

She looked as if she was about to open her mouth again to continue giving her input but when she saw Nene's face she gave it up.

"Food's here!" Bri exclaimed as the waiter put down our plates. Both her and Nene got some sort of pasta, while I settled for shrimp tacos.

"This looks bomb as hell. What you get Laya?"

"Shrimp tacos", I wobbled with my mouth full of chips and guac.

"So Laya, tell us about you and goddamn Dave East. When did all this happen? Is it big? How was it?" Bri gave me a sly smirk.

I chewed my food, deciding I would take her bait cause she would annoy me if I didn't tell her. "I don't know. Big big. Which time?"

"Damn I felt that." Bri responded with her hand on her chest.

"Right, I thought I'd never see the day that Laya Daniels would be boo'd up. Bri remember when that blind date we set her up on?" Nene said beginning to laugh.

"Oh shit how could I forget. This bitch cussed me for a week because of it. And Derek or whatever his name was called me crying because of what you said to him." Bri added laughing as well.

I cringed, recalling the terrible blind date I had with one of Devon's co workers. I had never dated because of the fear of getting hurt or embarrassed, so those two tricked me into one.

"First of all when I got there he was wearing bootcut jeans with a dress shirt and church shoes. Then that nigga hit on every waitress that passed by. He only talked about himself and then when it was time to pay, he asked me to foot the bill. So I paid for my food, told him about his no good cunt and went home." I said with a shrug.

They both busted out into laughter and Bri spoke between giggles, "All you had to say was the he wasn't your type and that you prefer hood niggas that rap."

"I'm mad that I missed his performance for you in person."

"Nene this bitch was crying waterfalls. That nigga done made her soft as hell."

"I think she made him soft. East looks like a very scary man but I saw the video of him performing, and homeboy is in love love with you. Y'all went viral and all." Nene said.

Someone, somehow managed to take a video of Dave's performance and pictures of our kiss and sent them to all the blogs. We still don't know how it happened since phones were held at the door. But since then, everything has gone wild.

"I can't tell you how many accounts I had to block over the weekend because people followed me and were threatening me in my DMs. I even had to put my Instagram account on private.", I complained.

"That's cause you took they man sis. I hope you saw me underneath the Shaderoom's comments telling bitches 'bout they stink ass for you. And that Millie bitch, his old ass baby mother was hating the most. I don't see how you could look like that and still be a hater. Like pick a struggle, it's either you ugly or miserable, you can't be both." Bri commented. "I don't see how you staying so calm, you didn't answer none of them back."

I hadn't been calm at all. I had a mini panic attack over the weekend with all the comments and messages I was receiving. Even though most were positive, some comments took jabs at my insecurities and some of the DMs were from women that claimed to have sex with Dave and buggin' about our relationship. When Dave saw that I was freaking out he sat down with me and we read each comment and DM together. They were all silly, just jealous people that didn't have anything going on in their lives. And if I did answer those comments, I'd be showing that I was actually bothered.

"At the end of the day, if I'm gonna be with him, his fame is something I'd have to deal with." I said nonchalantly.

"But are you sure you're ready for that?" Bri asked.

No not really.

"Yes." I said hopefully.

"Good cause I can't wait for my nieces and nephews"

My eyes widened and I wiped the sauce from my mouth, "Ine know where you getting them from but it ain't me. We just started dating and I'm on birth control. Plus I don't want kids. You and Devon need to work on one for me to spoil." I added.

"Shit we just might." She responded, polishing off her last bit of pasta.

I glanced at Nene who was really quiet with all the baby talk. Bri noticed too, and tried to lighten the mood.

"What do you guys have planned for the rest of the afternoon? Oooh we should have a girls day!" She suggested excitedly.

Nene perked up, "I'm free! Let's get our nails done then hit up Saks"

"I'd love to but I have to get back to work." I said apologetically.

"Laya you fuckin' your boss, so you good." Bri exclaimed rather loudly. Great tell the whole restaurant I'm screwing my employer.

"Exactly tell him you're taking the day off. Please Laya, when was the last time we had a girls day?" Ne pleaded.

"Fine. Gimme a minute to tell him." I took my phone out and began to text Dave.

❤️

😘😘

Then right after I sent my last text, my CashApp notified me that $5k was sent to me from a DaveB. And before I could text him my disapproval he sent this:

❤️

I reached on the side of me and dug in my bag until my fingers hit the black matte card.

😏

❤️

🥴

I really was interested in the kind of problem we would have and what the punishment would entail.

"Laya stop being nasty! You in or what?" Bri asked.

I sucked my teeth. "Mind ya business Bri and I'm in. We can take my driver."

"Finally being friends with you has its perks." She joked before we paid the bill and left the restaurant.

/•/

My fingers were starting to turn purple because of all the bags in my hand, cutting off my blood circulation. I may have went a little crazy shopping today with Bri. Nene left right after getting our nails done because Kyle called her bitching about something.

After we left the nail shop in Brooklyn, James took us down to Manhattan where Bri dragged me in every designer store in SoHo. And for each store I went into, I came out with a matching shopping bag. I hate to admit it, I was weak when it came to designer bags and shoes. I was about to be dripping in Dior, Fendi and Louis after this trip.

It's kinda fun having a nigga that could swipe them visas...or that could CashApp you a bag out the blue.

The elevator doors opened to the studio reception and I waved to Eva who was having an intense conversation on the phone. She pulled the line from her head and covered the mouthpiece before speaking,

"Hey Laya! Do you mind taking these contracts to East upstairs? Him and Wayno are doing the signing for that Zora girl up there."

"Yeah of course. Whose on the phone?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm arguing with the fucking paparazzi that's trying to get up here for Zora. Her daddy and brother booked all kinds of people to cover the signing and you know East don't like all them people up here in his business"

Dave hated extra reporters and people in here trying to get unsolicited photos and videos. The studio actually had a strict privacy policy to prevent music leaks.

"Damn good luck with that. I'm gonna take this up there." I waved the papers at her.

I placed all the bags with my new things on the couch in my office, then adjusted my makeup in my private bathroom mirror. I lowkey regretted not dressing better this morning. We were usually pretty casual around here and it's the middle of summer so I wore a cropped tank top with ripped mom jeans and yeezys. My neck was covered in gold necklaces that my mom left me before she passed and the gold Cartier bracelet that Dave got me adorned my wrist.

I left my office and headed to the top floor where the conference rooms were. I could tell which one they were in because the door was overflowing with people and a camera crew that was recording everything. I had to wait outside because no one was moving to let me in.

"This Zora girl must be big in the UK", I said more to myself.

The white man with shaggy hair in the front of me, turned around and exclaimed, "She is, she just got named Rising Star by Billboard."

I peeked through the blinds that covered the glass walls and saw her sitting terribly close to Dave with Wayno sitting opposite them with two other men I couldn't see.

Five minutes went by with me struggling to get in the room. When I finally got towards the front, I still had to wait because she was taking pictures and journalists from the blogs were asking her questions.

"Zora you've finally made it big, you've been signed to a major label in New York and you're now recording at the famous Harlem Studios with Dave East, when can we expect an album?" one of them asked.

"I can't wait to get in the stu and start recording. But I can't put a definite date on these things. So maybe before November and hopefully...y'all can get a feature from one of my faves Dave East.", she answered.

He's my fav too sis. She sounded so sincere and humble. I've only heard a snippet of one her songs but from what I did hear she had an amazing voice.

"Who do you owe your success to?" Another journalist asked.

"God first and foremost because he gave me my talent. But I truly owe it all to my family. They have always supported me. Especially my dad, who's also my manager. Dad you wanna say somethin? "

I couldn't see anything behind the people in front of me. Why did I have to be so short? I even stood in my toes and still couldn't see.

"My wife and I are so proud of our baby girl. She's the youngest in our family and has been doing incredible things. I'm just so glad to have raised her. I just know she'll go far."

Wait I know that voice, it had a slight British twang but I know it.

I pushed my short self through the two tall people in front of me and stood at the corner of the room where I was able to see everything.

Everyone was looking at me because of the ruckus I made, and with every face turned I was finally able to place the voice.

Low and behold sitting across from his daughter and next to his son was Johnathan Deveaux.

My father.

My eyes were transfixed on his and I desperately wanted to cough with how dry my throat was becoming. Dave sensed that something wasn't right and commanded,

"That's enough questions for Zora. Can we pack this shit up and clear this room out?!"

Everyone listened to his deep command and rushed to clear the space. In the process someone bumped me, causing the contract papers to fall all over the carpeted floor.

But I couldn't move to get them. I was still stuck in place, like my shoes were glued. With so many emotions running through me my body refused to move.

"Laya...Laya", Dave called out for me but it seemed like only a whisper compared to the loud thumping in my chest.