All I need is you in my life

Future's Hard to Choose played throughout the car.

It filled the ominous awkward silence between us. I didn't even know how to start an apology. I don't think he would listen to me anyway.

My insecurities, trust issues and pride were getting in the way of my present life. From my past experiences, every single time someone did something for me it came at a cost and I want to go through life without owing anyone anything.

Dave doesn't understand that I need to do things for myself. I'm not use to other people taking care of me, I have to be independent because at the end of the day I can only trust the person who has stuck around the longest - me. I have to show my father that I could live perfectly fine without him and more importantly I had to prove to myself that I was just as strong as my mother.

And to be completely honest, I felt like I was failing.

I fought the onset of tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. You don't cry Allaya, don't let him see you cry.

I quickly wiped away a fallen stray one and covered my sniffle as a cough.

"Bad bitches don't cry. Remember?", my inner self repeated.

I laid my head back onto the headrest and closed my eyes to prevent anymore from falling. If I could get home, behind my room door then, I could cry all I wanted to in a hot shower. Eventually, the thoughts in my mind drifted away and my sleepless nights caught up to me as I fell asleep.

I didn't even know how long we were driving for, but the car soon came to a complete stop and Dave spoke up for the first time since we left the spa.

"You can either stay here or come inside. Imma be in there for a few." he said before slamming his door and coming to my side to open mine.

He wore another unreadable expression and looked just as intimidating as when we first met. I could tell that he was still angry with me.

He didn't even give me a chance to answer. I wiped the tiredness from my stinging eyes and eased my way out of the car.

Almost immediately I folded my arms around my torso for some sort of comfort and scanned the area we were in.

It was a suburban neighborhood in upstate New York - filled with large houses, green grass and cars. It was a stark difference from the concrete city I was used to.

"I thought were going to the penthouse", I muttered carefully at Dave as I followed behind him.

I didn't receive a response from him so I thought it was best to keep my mouth shut while we were here.

We walked up the long path of a huge stone house. The driveway was filled with cars and the smell of barbecue wafted in the air. Music blasted from behind the house and children's screams echoed from the backyard as well.

I hoped to God that this wasn't his parents' house. It was awkward enough that he wasn't talking to me and now I was at a family function as a stranger.

Dave walked to the dark brown front door and pushed it open before yelling, "MAMA MAAAAA" in the foyer.

A short brown skin woman with curly hair walked from behind foyer with an annoyed expression on her face.

"David Lawrence Brewster Jr. stop shouting in my damn house like you a flipping maniac", she said with her hands on her hips and a slight Spanish accent.

This lady couldn't be Dave's mother. She looked almost as young as he did. She was beautiful with her petite stature, blonde short hair and light colored eyes. No wrinkles or aging in sight.

Dave grinned at her and bent his tall frame down to embrace her tightly.

"Hi ma. What I tell you about leavin' the front door unlocked?" He said after releasing her.

"It's a party Dave, and anyone coming in here is family, so go on with alla that mess." she responded back to him before her eyes landed on me.

They grew soft and she moved from her son's embrace and spoke, "and who's this pretty lady?" She smiled at me.

I removed my hands from around my waist and placed them at my side, preparing myself for this awkward encounter.

Dave looked down at me as well. I could see the uncertainty in his face.

"This is Allaya Daniels, my..."

"... personal assistant. It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Brewster. I'm sorry for crashing your family event uninvited." I tried to explain.

"Oh it's no problem baby and please call me Maya. And did you say your name is Allaya? That's such a pretty name. Does anyone call you Lala by any chance?" She asked curiously.

I looked at her in confusion for a moment, it was such a strange question to ask, until a moment of realization struck me. "Actually Kairi does call me that sometimes."

She can't say Laya properly so it always comes out as Lala.

Her smile grew wider as she spoke "So you're who she asks for before I put her to bed. Every time I go to read that girl a story she always says, 'Nana read like Lala do, read it like Lala'. And I'm like who the hell is Lala and how the hell she be reading stories?" she laughed.

I giggled along with her and noticed Dave watching our interaction.

I could tell Mrs. Brewster was a fiery woman, the matriarch of her household, but she was incredibly sweet. Unlike her son who was miserable and intimidating most of the time.

"Auntie I boiled the potatoes for you."A familiar voice came stalking towards us.

There was Eva making long strides in a pair of shorts and a yellow bandeau top with a white button up shirt over it, while holding a large steaming metal pot in her hands.

"Oh hey Laya. I didn't know you was gon be here girl. Look at you and this hair. You look so cute!" She fawned over me.

Mrs. Brewster rolled her eyes and turned towards her loud niece.

"Eva dammit I told you not to touch nothing because your scrawny ass burns water. Talking bout you wanna make some damn potato salad. Shit!" She exclaimed by snatching the pot from Eva's hand.

"Laya honey come in the kitchen and bring Eva with you. Dave go wish your father a happy birthday!"

I looked up at Dave who seemed to be staring at me intently before I followed them into the kitchen and was greeted by the aroma of food.

Maya had a huge country style kitchen with white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, a farmhouse sink and marble countertops.

Countertops that were filled with all kinds of food ranging from what looked like soul food to traditional Dominican cuisine. In the middle of the kitchen was a white table that sat Evelyn who seemed to be snapping peas. And there was another, younger woman who resembled Mrs. Brewster standing by the counter stirring something in a bowl. She had a protruding baby bump along with a cute bouncing baby boy on her hip who was drooling on the hand in his mouth.

The whole scene looked like something out of an interior design magazine.

"Laya you already know Eva, the lady sitting by the table is my sister Evelyn and this..." she said pointing to the girl with the baby. "Is my daughter Danielle and my grandson Liam" she gestured to the baby in her daughter's arms.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you all." I greeted them shyly.

Inwardly I was about to have a panic attack. I wasn't in the mood to socialize and I'm not comfortable around people I've just met.

I didn't know what to do and quite frankly I wanted to find Dave and stay by his side.

But you can't do that because you're not talking to him...and he's not talking to you.

"I met Allaya earlier. Dave brought her by the spa." Evelyn said to the room.

"Ohh that's why he called me asking for your number earlier.", Eva chimed in while shooting me a questionable look.

Eva was all about the drama and has been hinting about Dave and I since I first started working at the studio. So I knew she would be grilling me about this later.

"So Laya how do you know my brother?", Danielle spoke up.

I got the feeling that she hadn't warmed up to me as much as her other family members had. She seemed very cautious and weary of my presence.

"I'm his personal assistant and studio manager", I answered politely.

"And she the best we've ever had too. Trust me since she's started Dave has only fired like one person this month." Eva exclaimed causing me to shake my head at her.

"Damn you must be a miracle worker then", Mrs. Brewster smiled while washing a few pots.

"Mm I thought you were one of his fans and that you trailed along here for the fun of it", Danielle snarked.

Mrs. Brewster shot her daughter a look and Eva glanced at me with apologetic eyes.

"So Allaya are you from New York?" Mrs. Brewster questioned.

"No ma'am. I was born and raised in Turks and Caicos"

"Ohh so you came here looking for a green card?" Danielle spoke again with the same condescending tone.

What was this girl's problem? I literally just met her.

I laughed lightly at her comment, "No I came here for a college education and now I'm in grad school at NYU for Marketing. But if you're worried about my immigration status, you should know that I have a work visa. Next time remind me to bring my passport so you can see it" I remarked.

My mother always told me that my mouth was too hard and one day it would get me into trouble. Needless to say, I'm still waiting on that day.

Evelyn chuckled along with her daughter, while Danielle stayed quiet mixing whatever was in the bowl vigorously.

"Don't mind Danielle baby. She's pregnant and her hormones have her actin like a bitch" her mother shot her a look.

"Maaa"

"Don't ma me. You and Dave think y'all too old for a ass whooping. Y'all must of forgot who the fuck raised y'all", she went on.

I bit my tongue to keep from laughing. That was something my mother would say.

"Your parents must be so proud of you Laya. Coming from a small island to make it big in the US is difficult. I should know myself because both me and my sister have done it." Mrs. Brewster chided looking at Evelyn. "How do they feel about you being out here all alone?"

I swallowed hard. This is why I tend to avoid social gatherings, they brought up too many opportunities for me to speak about myself or reveal certain aspects of my life I was trying to suppress.

"Well my mom died about three years ago from breast cancer and I haven't seen my dad for a while. But I imagine that she's proud of me."

Mrs. Brewster stopped what she was doing and looked at me sympathetically.

"I'm sorry baby. She should be."

I smiled at her. "Is there anything that you need help with? I don't want to be standing here while you all work."

"You can come ova here and fry these plantains." She commanded while waving a large knife in her hand.

I washed my hands at the sink and got to work cutting up the plantains before frying them in the pan that she had prepared with hot oil, then smashing and refrying them.

All the while listening to the women in the kitchen gossip about some of their family members at the party and their lives. It was the things like this I missed most about being back home.

It was too bad that I would never experience memories like this with my own family again.

Soon I was done and sitting next to Evelyn who was discussing with me ways that she could rebrand her spa for the next year. Marketing was truly my passion. I loved the idea of reinventing something and connecting with people beyond words. It was definitely a career that was made for me.

I was suggesting some new social media tactics when Liam started crying.

"It's his nap time and my back is killing me. Mommy can you put him to sleep", Danielle asked while trying to settle her son down.

"Danny you see me trying to get the rest of this food out. Go find your husband."

"Ugh he's probably out back playing ball or sumn, Auntie Evie you can do it for me please?" she begged.

"Girl you know that baby don't like me. Last time I held him he threw up on my Burberry sweater", she swatted her niece off.

Danielle sighed and looked to Eva who was trying her best to see if the pie that she had baked was done. She shook her head at her cousin then turned to me.

"I wouldn't mind holding him for you." I told her genuinely.

She hesitated for a moment before passing her baby to me. I folded him into my arms and placed his burp cloth over my shoulders while I rubbed his back rhythmically until he settled down.

"Shh shh" I whispered to him as Danielle placed a prepared bottle in my hand.

"I don't know what you're doing, but don't stop", she begged me.

I was pretty good with kids and babies. They were all drawn to me and I had no idea why. I was the least maternal person I knew. I never wanted kids of my own so I enjoyed spending time with other people's. That way I could play with them and then give them back to their parents when I was done.

Children were brutally honest, they never judged and were naturally funny but I couldn't see myself raising one.

Evelyn and Mrs. Brewster began taking dishes of completed food out to the backyard while Danielle sat at the kitchen table trying to rest her feet.

"Laya baby, come let me introduce you to some of these people. And Eva leave that damn pie and bring that macaroni out here." she shouted.

I walked with them into the backyard. It was huge, set up with picnic tables for people to eat at, there were tents and a table to the side,near the grill for the food and there was even a little kids section complete with a slip n slide. I spotted Kairi in a pink bathing suit playing with her cousins but she hadn't noticed me yet.

In the corner of the yard there was a huge field with soccer nets and a basketball court. That's where I noticed a shirtless Dave on the court with a few other men playing ball.

I felt my face heating up and focused my attention back to feeding Liam.

Maya took me around a few tables and introduced me to some of their family members as Dave's "friend". And for each time she used air quotes. I tried to correct her but stopped after awhile because she sent me mean glares. Now I knew where her son got it from.

This shit was making me nervous. I managed to sneak away from her conversation and ventured towards a table where older men were playing dominos and drinking.

Back home I use to play domino games by the docks for money. Men would place big bets, undermining my skill because I was a girl. That's why they almost always lost and I walked away with enough money to buy groceries for the week.

I continued to peer at the game, commmenting to myself all the mistakes some of them were making and who could've won, when a deep voice interrupted my thoughts.

"You know how to play?"

I jumped up slightly almost dropping the bottle from Liam's mouth and stared at the man who looked like an older version of Dave.

His hair was cut low, he was free from tattoos from what I could see, but he had the same facial structure and beard as Dave. I guess he noticed me staring at him in bewilderment because he lifted his hand from his pocket and stretched it out to me.

"I'm David Brewster Sr. And you are?"

"Allaya Daniels, I'm East's personal assistant. And yes I can play, whoever he is over there isn't using his cards right and he's clearly counting tiles. He's gonna come out of the game soon. "

He chuckled at me, then spoke to the man I was referring to.

" Yo Dom she says that you about to lose nigga, so have my fifty dollas ready!" He said while laughing.

The man looked at me and sucked his teeth, then soon after he blocked the game and left the table while glowering at me.

"Good now you can take his seat", Mr. Brewster chided as he took the one next to me.

At the table sat two other older men staring at me. One much younger than the other with a creepy smile on his face which I returned with a slight scowl.

"Dad, Chris, this is Allaya Daniels, D's personal assistant"

"Allaya this is my brother Chris and my father, Lawrence but we all call him Pop."

The older looking man spoke first "Good I thought she was another baby mama and that was Dave's second child. Why she at the table? ", he questioned while washing the domino tiles.

"No that's Danielle's kid and she's gonna play Domonic's round" he explained

"Hi, it's nice to meet you all and please call me Laya" I replied lowly by selecting my domino pieces.

Liam was now asleep so I laid him across my lap so that I could have both of my hands free.

I looked up and noticed Dave and other guys walking back from the court looking at me.

"I hope you know that we ain't gonnna go easy on you because you a female" Pop said with a thick New York accent.

He was quite short compared to his descendants and wore a fedora loosely on his head. In his pockets I noticed the tops of two cigars peeking out along with the impression of a lighter. There was a gold ring on nearly each of his fingers and a small crucifix hung from his neck. He was an adorable old man and everything he did was somehow amusing to me. I could tell that he was an og back in his day.

"I was hoping you wouldn't and I'll try to go easy on you too." I exclaimed as I put down the double six.

About an hour later, I had won four out of the five games we had played. There was a small crowd of family members around us. The men had gotten loud, shouting and cursing every time I seemed to win. Maya checked up on me frequently and tried to get me to leave the game. But I was having way too much fun beating they ass.

Dave's grandfather was my new favorite person in the world. He told me stories about how he ran the streets of Harlem and hinted at all of the illegal activities he dabbled in. I listened intently and asked a few questions which he seemed to appreciate.

"Ok gentleman that was my last game. We should've put money on this so I could send y'all home broke", I laughed while getting up.

Liam was still sleeping so I slung him over my shoulder.

"Girl sit back down, I got yo ass in this next one", Chris commented after me.

"I highly doubt that since you haven't won a game yet. But now that you all have been graced with my presence I have to give this baby back to his mommy."

Pop let out a deep laugh.

"Ion know where Dave got this one from but he better keep ha around"

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(Never Felt This Way by Brian McKnight)