"This is a big deal, Elle. You're the reigning queen," Cameron Grey remarks from beside me. She doesn't look up from her lounge chair as she meticulously paints her toenails a hideous shade of red. She's been my best friend since grade school, but clearly hasn't adapted my sense of style.

I push my over-sized sunglasses on top of my head and glare over at her. "It's not a big deal." My shoulders shrug. "Besides, I don't care anymore really."

Cameron dips her brush back in the polish for a moment and then smiles to herself. "Did Judah say you weren't allowed or something because he won't be here."

Laughter bursts from my chest. I can't believe she seriously just said that. "Are you kidding me? Judah doesn't tell me what to do."

She laughs. "Are you going to let him join a fraternity?"

This conversation is really starting to give me a headache. All I wanted to do was soak up some of the last few remaining rays of summer before Judah came over tonight. I wasn't prepared to defend what's left of my relationship.

I reach for my water bottle and take a long drink before answering. My fingers continue to twist the cap back and forth. "He can do whatever he wants. We're taking a break while he's at school."

Cameron pauses mid-stroke. "Why in the hell would you do that?" Her head pops up and she quickly sets her nail polish aside before swinging her legs around to face me in her chair. "You mean to tell me that he's allowed to cheat when he's at Cornell?"

I shake my head. "It's not like that. We're just being causal about it until we decide if it works or not."

"That makes literally no sense."

She looks horrified and it almost makes me laugh—not that I would. A part of me knows this isn't funny, and honestly, I'm not even sure I'm completely okay with it. Judah and I have been fighting over college ever since the start of last year. I knew he was always going to go to Cornell. It's not only about Football for him, it's tradition.

Since Ollie decided not to work with my parents at the resort after graduation, I have big shoes to fill. My dad, Mason, is harder on my brother than he is on me. I think he expects more from him and that's why they butt heads all of the time. It's either that or the fact that they are some much alike. They both try so hard to act like they have no idea how similar they are. Personally—I think it's hilarious.

Cameron is still anxiously awaiting a reply from me and I don't really have one for her. The arrangement Judah and I have makes sense to me, but when I try to explain it to someone their initial reaction is always to think that I'm crazy.

I take a deep breath. "Look, I know it's sounds unconventional, but you and I both know Judah can't be alone. I'd rather not have to worry about it while he's so far away from me."

She brushes her long, red hair over her shoulder and shakes her head. "But won't you still worry about it? I mean, just because you're taking some messed up break from being faithful to each other doesn't mean that you can just turn your feelings off like that." She snaps her fingers pointedly, her expression surprisingly serious.

When I remain stoic, her eyes widen and I sputter a laugh instead. "What do you want me to tell you? We both agreed to this and I need to see what it feels like to be without him. He's the only guy I've ever been with and things weren't that great."

"That's ridiculous. You two are high school royalty. Everyone worships you guys."

"Yeah," I say dryly, locking eyes with her. "And high school's over."

"Not for us," she says in a small voice. I think she might actually be sad this is our last year. She scoots her chair closer to mine. "Is he even coming home to take you to Fall Festival?"

I shrug. "I don't know. I didn't ask him—I'm sure he's probably busy."

Cameron looks pensive for a moment and then she flashes a demure smile. "Okay, fine." She quickly reaches over and grabs my phone from my hand. Her hair flicks me in the face as she turns away from me.

"Hey!" I protest, reaching for it.

She types off a message as if her life depends on it and hands it back to me with a smug smile. "There. It's done."

I give her a quizzical look. "What's done?" I glance down at my phone and read in horror when I get a reply from a message she sent to Judah.

"You whore!"

Cameron laughs to herself as she readjusts her chair. "Don't be so dramatic, Elle," she says mockingly.

"Great, Cam. Now he thinks I'm needy." I stand up and pull a towel around my waist before shooting her a look of irritation. "He didn't even leave yet and now it's like I'm asking him to come back. He'll think I'm weak."

Cameron gives me an incredulous look. "Elle, you are a girl remember? You're allowed to have actual feelings. You don't always have to act like your hot brother."

I remain offended until she gets to the part about Ollie. My face scrunches up at the thought of my best friend and my brother. Just wrong.

"Ew," I say rather dramatically. She laughs, but I keep going. "Don't talk about my brother like that." I motion over my shoulder. "I'm going to get a drink. You want something?"

She shakes her head and immediately becomes engrossed in her own phone. Good. I hope she keeps her hands off of mine. The last thing I need is for Judah to think I'll be lost without him. I'm sure I'll be just fine.

At this point I need something stronger than water to get me through this day. I walk briskly over to the house and head straight for my dad's stash of booze in the butler's pantry. They're pretty much never home and I'm almost certain Ollie is the only one who actually drinks it.

I'm standing in the hallway, tilting back a bottle of Crown, when Hunter struts around the corner. His expression is mildly amused and he's wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. Not exactly his typical attire.

I raise an eyebrow and lower the bottle from my lips. "Why do you look like you got a job at State Farm?"

He laughs and his eyes light up. "What? Ollie and I were golfing at the Lodge."

I nod, taking another drink. My face scrunches up when the harsh liquor burns its way down my throat. He steps closer to me and reaches for the bottle. I hand it to him and sputter a cough. "Rough day."

"Obviously," he says before taking a drink of his own. He places the bottle back on the shelf behind me and then leans on the wall. He tilts his head to me. "What happened?"

"Nothing," I say quickly, stepping around him. He follows me of course and I sigh when I enter the kitchen. There's a note on the counter from my mom explaining about dinner in the fridge. Unless it's a holiday, we usually don't sit down and have nightly meals together.

Hunter remains skeptical, doing that intense thing with his eyes again. I've never been able to lie to him. I sigh once more and pull the towel tighter around my waist. "Tonight, I turn eighteen."

He smiles. "Yeah, Elle. That's a big deal."

"Is it?" I say, laughing bitterly. I shoulder past him. "It doesn't feel like it to me."

He follows me into the kitchen, his footsteps echoing on the hardwood. I pause at the sink and place both hands on the edge, not turning around. "It's like I'm too young to feel this way." I turn to face him and cross my arms. "I already feel over all the drama and bullshit that being young entails and I still have another year of high school. I'm not even really that sad Judah won't be here this year. How fucked up is that?" I laugh again. "Yesterday I was almost crying because I was scared to be without him and now—now I'm just numb."

I like the fact that he waits patiently for me to finish my dramatic spiel before he speaks. He gives me a polite smile, leaning on the counter next to me. "Elle, I've told you a million times—you're better than that douchebag. He was lucky to get almost four years with you and now's your chance to really find yourself this year on your own." He leans in and shakes me by my shoulders gently until I finally smile. "This is a good thing, girl."

"Maybe," I say quietly, averting my eyes from his.

He takes a step closer and tilts his head down to me so I have to look at him again. When he has my attention, he smiles and brushes a loose curl behind my ear. "I'll take that as a sign you'll at least try, and if it makes you sad, you know I'll always be here to talk to, right?"

I nod as a lump suddenly forms in my throat. Why can't all guys be as sweet as Hunter? He's been there for me at the drop of hat since I met him and has never made me feel like a burden to him. He genuinely cares about my feelings and I'm pretty sure there are few people I can actually say that about. Being popular doesn't necessarily mean you are loved by all whosurround you. It's quite the opposite actually. There's always sharks circling in the water just waiting for a scandal to brew.

Thankfully, I've been relatively safe in that department. Aside from the back and forth with me and Judah, I've never really done anything scandalous to tarnish my reputation. I left the building of our empire solely up to my brother. I would have to do something pretty drastic to top Ollie.

Hunter hugs me to his chest and I sigh and bring my arms around him. I take comfort in his embrace for a moment, but then I remember I'm standing here with only a small towel over my bikini. I've worn my fair share of revealing outfits, but there's something about the way his hands feel rubbing down the bare skin of my back right now. It sends shivers down to my toes and there isn't anything intimate about what we're doing. I've hugged him a million times—fell asleep on him even, and never gave it a second thought.

Now? Now I'm kinda wishing he'd take that polo shirt off and show me what's been driving those balls all day.

My cheeks flush at the thought when he pulls back from me. God, I really am starting to sound like Ollie more and more every day. If only my typical girl emotions would stop creeping in and making me question basically everything right now. I'm filled with conflicting feelings and I've never felt so lost.

Hunter nudges my shoulder when I remain quiet. He gives me a tentative smile this time when I look over at him. "Have fun tonight, okay? Don't think about it too hard and just enjoy your birthday with him."

Even though it surprises me that he's actually insisting I enjoy Judah's company after blatantly protesting our relationship, it makes me smile that he obviously is saying it because he thinks it will make me happy.

I don't know the last time I felt like someone did that for me without the promise of getting something out of it in return. It makes me wonder what it would be like if I had that all of the time.

I guess it is my birthday—and I do get one wish.

***

Judah brings me to our favorite restaurant in town for dinner. By typical standards it would be considered more of a dive than anything, but I love it. I love the old red booths and smell of stale grease and apple pie. It's an odd combination, but weirdly comforting.

Only I'm not feeling comfortable right now. I've barely taken two bites of my burger and Judah is already shoving the last bite into his mouth. He takes a large sip of soda and then nods to my plate. "What's up?"

"Nothing," I say casually. I pick up my now luke warm burger and take a small bite for show. He leans back in the worn vinyl seat and raises an eyebrow.

"You're weird. What's wrong?"

When I shake my head, he leans forward and interrupts me. "I'm serious, babe. Don't tell me you're fine when clearly, you're not. You think I don't know you by now?"

He grins at me, but instead of feeling relief, my stomach flips. If he really knew me, he would know that we're clearly holding onto something that's undoubtedly going to end. Most likely erupting in flames by the end of the month tops.

"I'm seriously fine," I say, flashing my brightest smile. My face falls too quickly and he mirrors my expression.

With a deep sigh, he leans in further and pulls one of my hands across the table. After pressing it to his lips, he lets our hands rest between us. His thumb starts to move slowly across the back of my hand. "This summer went too fast, Elle. I'm upset about leaving, too."

His warm, brown eyes hold the kind of sadness I thought I felt in my heart. Yes, my heart is the part of me that's hurting, but it's not broken—it's twisted. I'm having more and more second thoughts every time I think about it. Maybe I do need to see what it's like without him. It would be nice to see what it feels like to be treated well for a change.

Even so, I still love Judah and I'll miss him terribly. "Me, too," I whisper.

He stretches all the way across the table this time and kisses me hard. His lips linger on mine and the plates clatter beneath his weight. I'm pretty sure he put his hand in my burger. I kiss him back and wrap my arms around his neck the best I can to deepen our kiss. As our tongues start to melt together a spatter of applause begins to break out. Oh yeah—we're not alone.

I pull back as the heat rises in my cheeks. Judah of course just grins and falls back into his side of the booth. I reach over and shove him and he laughs. He fake rubs his shoulder like I actually hurt him. "What? They enjoyed the show."

I try not to, but start laughing anyway. This is who we are. A giant ball of sexual chemistry, mixed with severely inflated egos, and a sprinkle of pride. Well, probably more than a sprinkle.

I'll never know what it feels like to have a deep, meaningful relationship if I hold onto this. I know our separation will do more good than harm. Hunter asked me to try and I think I'll keep that promise.