October nights,

Screaming, crying, overthinking,

All because of some other boy,

Who seemed good and right,

But who had what I wanted

And didn't know how to treasure it.

November had its storms too,

You saying I was not your friend,

You saying you were not good and that I should go,

But I was stubborn enough to keep going.

I still wonder if I did the right thing

By not letting you push me away.

December was full of hopes

And long nights talking about ourselves.

I knew you, that was for sure,

But you did not know me for I truly was,

And you thought you did.

I was not careful.

January came, and it all seemed like

I was in a book,

And everything was good and perfect,

But I forgot that books sometimes

Don't have a happily ever after,

And so I did what I had to do to find mine.

February was so very empty,

And you were no more in my life.

Happy birthday.

I remember my February self,

Broken yet brave,

For he had to keep going.

March was a new beginning,

And we had started talking again.

I had high hopes for us,

But maybe I was just blinded

By how much I was still mourning,

Even though you seemed just fine; and you were.

April had come and gone,

And I was still in the same state,

Trying to pick myself up

From the sidewalk I lied on

Ever since that day I made my choice.

It was getting better.

May was fast, and full of hate,

For I found every reason and every thing

That made me realize that I did good.

We were friends again, like we had been before,

Or at least you thought so.

I could never forgive and forgive what you did.

June was calm,

For I did not care as much about you,

And it was clear you did not care as much about me.

There were few pieces left on the sidewalk now,

But time would slowly but surely pick them up too.

I would not let a part of me to be left behind because of you.

July, and I started to be quite happy alone.

The hot summer sun shined just like me,

For I am the summer and the summer is me.

Happy birthday.

Middle of July and I hope the time

When I'll be completely fine will come soon.

August, and I am the best I've been,

Even though you still shoot your killing words.

I fully know now what I deserve or not,

And your lies and manipulation mean nothing now

That I freed myself from the gaslighting bared cage

You've put me in.

It's the end,

And I am happy now.

Go fuck yourself for everything you've done.