Perrie's life feels like a mess.

When she is at work, everything is going so good it almost feels like a dream. These past weeks, all went surprisingly well. The first time the girls listened to Black Magic, it was like something finally fell into place; this song is exactly the fresh sound they needed. Everyone had big expectations from it, but no one could foresee the success this single was set to achieve. Today, less than a month after its release, the girls are preparing to head out to Steam & Rye, a London bar, to celebrate Black Magic conquering the number one spot in the UK chart.

It is a different story when Perrie is home, though. Zayn and her are fighting again, and this time it has been going on for almost a week now. It all started when Perrie came across a picture of her fiancé holding a girl on Twitter. The photo was taken a few months ago, but Zayn and Perrie have never talked about it. The subject of cheating had become somewhat of a taboo in their household, as Perrie is afraid to ask questions she does not want to hear the answers to, and Zayn never brings it up. So last week, when Perrie did say something, both of them didn't know how to react. Zayn became quiet like he always does when he feels there as though trouble is approaching, and Perrie kept pushing him to speak, which is something she has never done before.

That was when all hell broke loose, and Zayn brought up the wedding instead. He said that they do not have time to plan it because Perrie is always busy, and it is never going to happen like that. Perrie fired back, and the heated fight went on for hours. Now, they live in the same house, sleep in the same bed and wear matching rings, but the distance between them is larger than ever. Perrie knows relationships are hard work, but sometimes, this relationship feels like too much to handle. She wishes things could be easier between Zayn and her. They always make up in the end, it is just a matter of time.

Jesy stares at her left hand with much admiration in her eyes as the three girls watch and shower her with compliments. Yesterday, Jake proposed to her before the concert. It was genuinely perfect, with Ed Sheeran playing in the background and Jake kneeling and taking out a small box. Leigh-Anne, Jade and Perrie have been almost as emotional as Jesy last night. They could not be happier for her. Though as Perrie stares at Jesy's engagement ring, she cannot help but be a little jealous. Her own engagement has never been nowhere near as happy as Jake and Jesy's relationship.

"I know it's hard," Jade whispers and takes Perrie's hand in hers. The brunette smiles sadly as their eyes meet. Jade has been single for over an year now, struggling to move on from her relationship with Sam. Perrie does not need to tell her Zayn and her are fighting, Jade can read it in her eyes. The blonde nods as Leigh-Anne's voice fills the room, calling everyone to gather since the cab is outside.

The drive goes by fast, and the four girls step out of the vehicle feeling confident. Perrie had decided she is going to try and have fun tonight, even though she is a bit down. She has not gone out with friends in what feels like forever, and tonight there is a damn good reason to celebrate.

Inside, the girls greet everyone in the Little Mix team. There are people from Syco there, alongside Tulisa, Ashley James, Ella Eyre, Bluey Robinson and many more. Jesy is met with plenty of congratulations and falls into conversation with Tulisa, while Leigh-Anne's boyfriend, Jordan, arrives and she goes to welcome him.

"Come on, Jadore. This your night!" Perrie tells Jade and leads her by the hand to the dance floor. The girls all have expectations from Jade tonight, as she is the only single member of the group. It was at the last number one party where Leigh-Anne met her boyfriend, so it is told to be a lucky night. "How about this guy?" The blonde says in a strong voice, overpowering the loud music, and points at a decent looking person she does not know. Jade wears a smile, goes to grab a drink from the bar and downs it fast as her bandmate watches her. Then, she arrives back to the dance floor, dancing carelessly while also trying to get the guy's attention. Perrie laughs and leaves her friend to it. She soon spots Jesy and Tulisa and joins their conversation.

As the night progresses, all four girls find themselves getting more and more free and happy. They are proud to be celebrating their own success, surrounded by the people they love, who helped to make it happen. Perrie sits at the bar with Jade, receiving updates on that guy. It is not anything serious, they are just having fun and it is a way to enjoy the night. While Jade speaks, Perrie feels her phone vibrating in her hand and checks it. She faces a text from Zayn, and immediately opens it.

I don't know what's going on with you... We used to be so close... If you can't trust me then this whole relationship doesn't mean anything. The wedding isn't happening, and that's on you.

Perrie rereads the text a few times before she begins to understand what is written in it. She takes the shot glass next to her, her first alcoholic drink for tonight, and downs it way too fast. The burning in her throat spreads to her eyes as well, but for a different reason. She is about to burst into tears, and it takes a few moments before she can use her voice.

"He broke up with me," Perrie states. Jade immediately lays a hand on the blonde's lap, hoping it would offer some comfort. "Zayn broke up with me." The younger girl repeats, not believing her own words. Jade can sense her friend is about to break down, so she leads them both to the ladies' through the mass of people dancing. There, the music is quieter, which allows speaking in a normal tone. They face each other, and Perrie hands her phone to Jade. Once the brunette is done reading the text, she looks back at Perrie. Tears are going down from her blue eyes, and she seems panicked. Jade puts her hands on Perrie's shoulders, then speaks in a calm tone.

"Everything is okay," she quietly assures. "We are going to call a cab right now, and you are going home. You don't have to say goodbye to anyone, just go. I'll take care of it." She knows that a party is no place for handling a break up. Perrie cannot have so many people around her right now, it is overwhelming. She needs to be out of here before anyone notices something is wrong.

"Jade, I can't go home," Perrie replies with a heartbreaking tone. "He's there. I don't want to see him." She is crying by now, realizing she has nowhere right now. She does not have a home.

"Then you are going to mine and Danielle's flat, alright?" Jade suggests. "You know she loves you, but you can just go into my room. I'll explain everything. I would go with you, but I don't want to cause too much of a scene. So go, and I will be there soon. Sounds good?" Perrie simply nods her head, trying to hold back more tears. Jade fixes her friend's hair, making sure she looks as put together as possible.

Perrie does as she is told. She leaves the bar without saying much to anyone and takes a cab to Jade's place. There, she allows herself to break down.

Meanwhile, at Steam & Rye, Jade makes sure to pick out decent photos taken throughout the night and share them via Instagram. She wants her fans to see everything that is going on, to have them be a part of it. She even finds one nice photo with Perrie, from before she got that text. To anyone who asked, the brunette said her bandmate was not feeling well and had to head out earlier than planned.

When Jade gets home, it is already early in the morning of the day after. She carefully opens the door to her bedroom, facing a sleeping Perrie inside. She sleeps on the left side of her bed, as she knows Jade sleeps on the right. The brunette brushes her teeth and takes her makeup off before tucking herself into bed, alongside Perrie. It all feels so natural as she listens to Perrie's breaths in the dark, feels the heat of her body warming the sheets. She tries not to worry about tomorrow, and falls asleep grateful to be sharing the bed after having it all to herself for so long.

×××

Perrie opens her eyes to the soft sunlight entering Jade's bedroom through the cream curtains. She feels Jade's body next to her on the bed as the events of last night come back to her. Zayn ended their engagement. The relationship they built for four years. He really was her everything - or is he still is? Is this complicated relationship really over with a simple text massage? She truly loves him. He has his flaws, but he was there for her in her hardest times. Their relationship survived the horrors of the media, the impossible. So how come there is something strong enough to defeat it?

Mistrust, Perrie silently says. If you would have asked her just four years ago how important trust is in a relationship, she would have said it is absolutely essential. But today, she can see the bigger picture. No, she did not trust Zayn ever since she first heard the rumors about what he was doing when she was not there to stop him. Yet when she was there, he was so loving. There are so many things about him she adores, from his accent to the weight of his hand when it is laying on her waist. These are not easy to let go of, she cannot simply forget. She had to give up trust, but gained so much instead.

Perrie sighs and gets out of bed, tired of having so many thoughts so early in the morning. There is a lump in her throat when she is suddenly hit with the realization that she does not have anything in here. She cannot brush her teeth, as her toothbrush is back home. So are her clothes, pets and dreams of a wedding. Everything is left behind. The blonde goes over to the other side of the bed and gently taps on Jade's shoulder while softly calling her name. Once Jade slowly opens her eyes, Perrie whispers a question.

"Do you have an extra toothbrush?" She asks, feeling bad for waking her friend from her sleep after such a long night.

"I'll get you one, don't worry," Jade replies and gets out of bed as well. Her hand reaches for the nightstand, getting a grip on her glasses. Once she has them on, she begins to think. There are not any extra toothbrushes in the house, so she needs to go the convenience store just a few minutes away to buy one. While Jade is a bit hungover and definitely tired, she makes sure to tell Perrie to go back to sleep while she searches for a toothbrush. Luckily, the sound of the front door opening and shutting does not wake up sleeping Perrie. She does not notice Jade leaving the apartment and coming back soon afterwards with a bag in her hand.

Jade leaves Perrie to sleep, as she knows her bandmate probably needs this time to relax. She lays the newly bought toothbrush on the bathroom sink, then places a hair brush she got from the store as well on the nightstand next to Perrie. Jade takes a quick shower and prepares some food for the blonde to enjoy once she wakes up. As the brunette unlocks her phone for the first time today, she reads three texts - from Jesy, Leigh-Anne, and their manager Sam. All are asking whether she knows if Perrie is alright.

Jade vaguely replies to each text, writing that Perrie spent the night at her house and is doing fine. She knows she can tell Jesy, Leigh-Anne and Sam about the break up, but decides not to. It is Perrie's story to tell, and she should decide herself how people will find out. The next hour is spent doing house work, as Danielle is at work and Jade needs to get her mind off of things. Her heart saddens at the realization that from every interview from now until at least the next six months, Zayn will be brought up somehow. The brunette is setting the table when Perrie steps out of the bedroom. Her hair is wet and she is wearing Jade's clothes. Jade is happy to see that she has taken a shower, as it always makes you feel better after a crappy night.

"Hey," Jade says and hugs Perrie. She holds onto her just a little bit longer than she usually does. "I made you some breakfast, alright?" Perrie nods, sits at the table, in front of Jade, and takes the fork in her hand. She stays silent when she stares at the food Jade made.

"I don't know where to start," she quietly says. Just by looking at the blonde, anyone can tell something is off. Jade feels as though this break up might be even harder on Perrie than she initially thought. The blonde always has so much light inside of her, but right now, it looks like somebody turned it off. As simple as that.

"You can start with the eggs, they're really good," Jade replies with a delicate smile. Perrie's eyes do not meet hers like they usually do whenever it is just the two of them.

"No, I meant, like..." Perrie starts but soon her voice fades. She does not make any move to put food in her plate. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now. I had him, and I had work. It all balanced out so well. And I don't have him anymore, and tomorrow we have the performance in Plymouth and I don't think I can handle it. Everything is so unbalanced and just... Wrong. None of this feels right."

"I know," Jade tries to ease her pain. "It will all work out at the end. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will. I'm here whenever you need." With these words, Perrie finally lifts her gaze and locks it with Jade's. "About Plymouth tomorrow, you shouldn't worry. We all have that energy when we step out on the stage. You'll forget about everything when you're up there."

"But what about this?" Perrie asks, pointing at the ring which she is yet to take off. "I can't go out wearing it, it feels like a lie. I tried to take it off last night, but... I just feel naked without it. I've been wearing it for so long."

"I think you should leave it on for the performance," Jade says, although she hates her own advice. Perrie does not deserve to feel like she is telling a lie. "Because if you don't, everyone will start asking and it's going to be too much. You know how it is with the rumors."

"You're right," Perrie replies with a sad tone. There is a long pause, in which Jade takes matters into her own hands and fills Perrie's plate with food from the table, not waiting for permission. She knows Perrie needs to eat, to keep herself healthy. Though even when the full plate is laid in front of her, Perrie does not make a move to touch the food. Instead, she continues speaking. "Do you think it really is the end? Just like that?"

"I don't know," Jade honestly replies.

"I just can't believe it," Perrie says. "We always make up. We always do." Tears are coming down her cheeks and she uses the pink napkin Jade set earlier to wipe them off. "I love him, Jade. He didn't have the basic dignity to break it off properly, and what he did was so wrong. Not only yesterday, but for so long now. And I still love him. I can't let him go." By the time she is done talking, Jade is by her side, rubbing her back and stroking her hair. Jade whispers words of comfort, saying that it is okay, and that it will all come together, it is just a matter of time. Perrie might have lost him, but she has so many other things to be proud of and so much great stuff waiting for her. It is always hard in the beginning, but she will be up on her feet in no time. Whatever is going to happen, whatever she decides to do, it will be alright.