Plot (8/10)

The first thought I had look at the entering the name part was like a choose your own adventure story but then I remembered the path is pre-set. The overall plot sparks some interest but I'm not drawn in. The dimensions of the plot you show aren't deep enough and need more description. Being descriptive though doesn't mean having alot of words but the quality and placement of the words. Other than that, the plot offers an interesting idea but I would suggest just choosing a name for the character rather than having [Y/N]. You story calls for a specific kind of person rather than one anyone can be or choose how to do things with.

Grammar (7/10)

I noticed a few minor issues in terms of grammar but other than that, there wasn't much that I saw in terms of grammar. Specifically, I wouldn't say that there were many issues but in someplace there was a lot of wordiness. By using more descriptive words and rephrasing some things, it can be read easier.

Characters (8/10)

I feel the character still could be explained and described better. I would also suggest more character development so we can better understand the characters and how they grow. You want more dynamic characters that can add to the story and its progression.

Cover (8/10)

Something I see with a lot of stories is a black and white color or something bland with colorful badges. Of course, you want people to know you've won but you don' want it to take away from the attention on the title. The cover is pretty interesting other than that and I think it would be able to catch a fan's eye. Other than that, I don't think many would be interested in the cover. Try to make the cover more versatile to other audiences.

Title (7/10)

I feel the name is kind of bland and doesn't capture the essence of the book you wrote. I would suggest making a name that can pop more and attaract more people. It should be a title that can catch someone's eye but also not be too much.

Detail (8/10)

I would suggest adding more detail to give another dimension to the story. The more detail to paint a picture of the setting the better. The detail will also indirectly help with how the characters are built up and etc.

Originality (8/10)

I have personally scene a few stories like this so I won't say its original. I do like the way you took your story though and add your own spin.

Prologue/ Introduction(8/10)

For the first part I would like to hear more about the setting developing and everything else. Bring me into your book as if I'm watching a show. I should feel like I'm in the story as I say. If someone can't imagine your work as they read it with the same exact idea you have then your book has failed. You want your description and dialogue to look as if somebody was seeing it happen.

Writing Skills (8/10)

You could have also enhanced the diction in some sections more than others to bring out the idea better. I would also say you could work some on making sure your punctuation is a little bit sharper.

Overall story(7/10)

I feel the overall story was good. Although there is places were there are errors, they can be fixed. I see potential in this story and I wish you the best of luck if you choose to rewrite parts or end up writing a new story.

Overall Score: 77 (C+)

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