December 10, 1997

Today at lunch, I heard a loud crash, like a chair clattering to the ground. I looked to where it came from and saw Zach on his knees, punching this random kid named Alex, who was lying on the ground. My first thought was that he might be embarrassed for me to see him fight, so I turned away and covered my face.

But eventually I got curious and turned back to see what was happening: Ms. Covey was standing next to Zach with her hand on his shoulder. His shirt collar was all stretched out, almost off his shoulder, and he was glaring down at Alex. Then he, Ms. Covey, and Alex left the lunch room and things went back to normal.

I heard from Jacob that Zach had gotten suspended, so I went to the principal’s office to see if I could find him before he was sent home. He was sitting outside the office, looking bored. “Do you know why I got in a fight with Alex?” He asked me. I didn’t. “Alex called you a man, so I kicked him and he fell on the floor, and I beat the shit out of him.”

So Zach beat someone up because they called me a man. Awesome…?

Zach called today after school and we talked on the phone and watched the same shows on TV together. At one point I asked him, “Do you think I’m a slut?”

He said, “No. A slut will go anywhere with anyone, and the only person you’ve gone anywhere with is me. For instance, Amanda Collins is a slut.” I didn’t know that. “She went to third base with Aaron in the hall at school!” (By the way, that is true.)

Another thing that came up was Matt’s party, the one I’m not invited to. I said, “Don’t kiss anyone else while you’re there.” “I won’t.” “Don’t touchanyone else, either. Don’t lay a finger on another girl, okay?” He laughed at me and said, “Okay, Crazy.”

I love him! I love him for the person he is, not what he looks like, and I know that for a fact because he isn’t even that cute.

It’s weird that he’ll be suspended from school tomorrow. I’ll have no reason to walk the long way to class, hoping to see him at his locker. I kind of like it that he beat up Alex in my defense. It’s like he got suspended fighting for me.

[The direct leap from Zach calling me “Crazy” to a declaration of love for him strikes me as odd. People still call me crazy, but I don’t find it so endearing.]