《And You became my Dawn》Chapter# 39
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Sandal's POV:
"It's so clouded today, it will start raining at any moment." I said to myself looking at the dark clouds.
"No, it won't," Ahmed said without raising his head from the laptop.
"How can you be so sure?"
"It hardly rains here."
Disappointed, I turn my face to look outside again. I really like rain, if it were Peshawar it would have started raining now. I haven't get used to living here, life is so boring. There is no housework and no one to talk with and no enjoyment. Zohma got busy in her life, Muskan was busy in her studies. I asked Ahmed to let me continue my studies but he didn't agree, nor gave me any reason. So, I have nothing to do now, Auntie has her own activities. Even she was free she doesn't talk much. She was different from her kids, all of them are talkative. I thought Ahmed wasn't at first but I turned out to be wrong. When he was in the mood, you can't make him quiet and things get very ... Different when we are alone. He never held himself from teasing me and giving embarrassing comments, but when he was in his working mood, he becomes probably the most boring human on the surface of the earth.
Married life was way more different than one could imagine. Living under the same roof with a person who was once a stranger to you, look after other's likes and dislikes. Sharing and trusting someone with your everything was not easy to describe. But somehow everything started to fit into the place when you once entered this life.
I still remember the time when Ami told me about Ahmed's proposal and I said no because of his reputation being a flirt and I was a bit shaken up from his straightforwardness on the day I tried to give my resignation.
Working under him as my boss, gave me a very clear idea of how his mind works. He has a trend to take what he wants and it scared me. It could have been his ego that pushed him to this extent. But thanks to Allah, I was wrong, it's just his personality.
Now I am married to the same boss and I have to deal with his one-track mind for the rest of my life. I sighed loudly and gave him a glance. My Husband. The thought of spending my whole life with him starting to make me feel giddy. Allah blessed me with a great husband but I am a little scared of the uncertainty of our relationship. There was still a part of me who doubt his reasons for marrying me. What if it turned out to be a temporary attraction? What if I couldn't match his social standards? What if he gets bored with me and left me? These questions always leave me restless.
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"It's rude to sta-.... hay. Why are you crying?" I heard his voice and realize tears on my cheek.
"S-sorry. It's nothing." I quickly turned around and wipe my tears.
Idiot! Why am I crying???
I scolded myself.
"Why are you crying?" He stands beside me, leaning against the window frame with his arms folded over his chest.
"Just some stupid thoughts." I smiled and shook my head.
"Then tell me what stupid thoughts made you all teary?"
"It's nothing." I turned to leave but he stops me holding my arm and pulled me closer encircling his arm around my waist.
"What is it?.... you're not the type of person who cried easily." His voice was soft, melting my heart. I wanted to ask so badly that all the fears I have for our future. I wanted him to deny all my negative thoughts but I couldn't find any courage. More tears fell from my eyes.
I am so pathetic...
"Ary, your still crying." He left my waist and cupped my face, wiping my tears.
"Are you missing your family?" I shook my head in negative.
"Have you fight with someone?" Again I shook my head.
"Did someone say something?" Again I give a negative response.
"Than what happens? Are you angry at me for something?"
Why would I be angry at you...?
"No." I cried out loud and put my head on his shoulder.
"Ary Sandal. What is wrong?" He embraced me gently.
"I am scared." I said in a timid voice.
"Of what?"
"You might leave me one day."
"Leave you? What makes you think that?" He sounded surprised.
"I don't know."
"Listen, I would never leave you. Even if you get selfish or old and can't look or can't talk properly or... you got fat and ugly after giving birth to our sixth child."
"Sixth?" I screamed and looked at him with wide eyes.
"Come on I am talking about six, not sixteen." He shrugged. I hit on his chest and tried to walk back but he held me hugged me again.
"I was just joking." He chuckled.
"You won't leave me, right?"
"I did tell. Right?"
"So can I be a little selfish?"
"Yes." He said but I could feel his muscles tensed a bit.
What is he thinking...?
"Can you stop bringing work to home on Sundays?"
"Sure." He patted my head lightly.
"And you cut all your ties with Anam?"
"What do you mean?"
"You know very well. You use Anam to get Saifi House's original Papers. You are cheating on me you know?"
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"I am not.... and you know that. But who told you?" He asked after a pause.
"Amna."
"Amna?... How do you know her?" He pulled back and looked at me.
"I didn't know her. She called me once to tell me the whole situation."
"Why didn't you tell me?" He frowned.
"Why would I tell you when I am not sure who that girl was and now I have confirmed everything I am telling you."
"How did you confirm that?"
"By profession, I am an information manager and if I was a failure as a good secretary doesn't make me a failure as a manager too. I know how to dig information." I looked away.
What does he think of me...?
"Wrong! By profession, you are a housewife and I never said you were a failure." He smirked.
"You did."
"Really?"
"Yes... you used to lecture me ten minutes every day."
"I guess I am.... sorry then?" He shrugged.
"You should be." I huffed.
"I still don't get what she wants to with you?"
"Not from me. She... wants to put it end to all this. She is willing to give up all the property her mother took from your family. So you could leave Anam... and with all my honesty. I want you to cut your all ties with Anam." I said seriously. I don't like that girl being near to my husband.
"Is someone being possessive?" He cocked an eyebrow.
"Yes!" I stated.
"And what if I don't?" He teased.
"Then I will make you."
"How?"
"You will see when the time comes."
"Hm." He stood straight and moves away but I hold his arm.
He is avoiding the topic...It is now or never... this hatred should end...
"Ahmed please, consider Amna's proposal for once."
"Do you think I am after money?... I don't care about wealth. Allah already gave me enough and I know how to make more." He jerked my arm.
"Revenge will lead us to nowhere... you cannot go forward when you're clinging to past."
"I cannot leave the past. Me, and my family have suffered... You won't understand" He almost shouted and continue, "You'll never understand how it feels when your almost half family murdered." He took a deep and combs his hair.
I...
"I cannot understand? I also lost my half family in just one day Ahmed. You cannot leave the past than why did you want the same thing for me? Why did you want me to forget all the painful memories that me and my family suffered when my baby sister's dead body came home in a hundred pieces. Why you asked me to forget that my dead brother was butchered by those animals after death huh?" I shouted back, trying to control my tears.
"What?" He asked me in disbelief.
What have I done...
I quickly ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Biting my lower lip I allow my tears to flow.
I shouldn't have said that... I promised myself.
"Sandal?" I heard Ahmed's voice and a door knock.
"Please leave me alone for a while."
"Sandal beta come out please." This time it was auntie.
Did she came to our shoutings???
I wiped my tears and came out.
"Ji, Auntie." I stood in front of her.
"What happened? Did Ahmed say anything? Tell me the truth." She asked me taking my hand to her.
"No Auntie, he didn't say anything." I shook my head.
"Are you covering for him?"
"No, not at all."
"Hm!" Then he turned to Ahmed.
"Listen Sahab Zade (son) in our family men don't shout on their wives. If she is wrong then talk to her politely." She said strictly and left. Normally she uses the word "Sahab Zade" when she is angry at him. I peeked through my lashes and found him staring at him.
"Sorry about that, Auntie was angry at you because of my shouting." I said playing with my ring Auntie gifted me.
"Me too. I totally forgot that we are on the same page."
"It's okay." We both stood in our places for a few minutes in awkward silence.
"I'll go and tea for you." I broke the silence first, walking to the door. I don't want to stay in this atmosphere anymore or else he will persuade me to tell him everything.
"Sandal." My steps halted in his voice.
"If you want me to forget everything and move forward then you have to promise me something."
"What?" I said looking into my eyes.
"You will tell every single detail about that day. There will be no more secrets between us."
"Okay!" I said without any second thought and left the room. I know I have to re-live that painful day but anything for him.
Anything ...
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