Y/N spotted Namjoon sitting on a bench at the park, reading a book. Y/N unknowingly smiled as she glanced at the very immersed looking Namjoon.

She gathered up all her courage and went near him.

"Hey Namjoon~" she said, the aforementioned looked at her and immediately closed his book before standing up.

"O-oh, Y/N" he stammered, but she paid no attention to it. She will try to talk to him for the nth time.

"Is there a problem?" She chuckled, which was heaven for Namjoon's ears. "You seem tensed."

"No, why would you say that?" She looked at her feet, rocking her feet back and forth as she hits little rocks.

"You're like avoiding me, ya know." She smiled bitterly, Namjoon instantly tensed a little bit more, his fear is about to take over but he held it back. "Did I do something wrong?" She muttered.

Namjoon sighed.

"Y/N-nie, you did nothing wrong"

And he realized what he just said.

"Y/N-nie?" She repeated, out of her years she never heard atleast one of her friends call her that.

Namjoon fixed his glasses.

"N-no, nevermind that" he avoided, he was about to walk away when Y/N held his sleeves, Namjoon abruptly stopped feeling all deja vu all over again.

"Yes I'll mind that." She said and faced him. "Is that what you call me before it happened? Your the only one who called me that."there was something in Y/N's eyes that Namjoon refused to look at and he knows very well that she wants answers and reasons.

"Let's not talk about it." He slowly remove her fingers from his sleeves. "See ya"

He wants to avoid it even though he doesn't want to. He just can't face her, he's feeling all guilty again.

Y/N didn't know but she felt like crying seeing him walk away from her.

This is the final straw, She let him go a few times before and today she'll make sure he won't.

"Come back! Why won't you tell me?". She yelled, Namjoon stopped and looked at her, he tried to keep the stoic look on his face but deep inside he wants to come to her and give her a bear hug like years before.

"I have nothing to say Y/N." He replied, the words bitter on his lips.

Y/N came to him and held both of his shoulders, her eyes turning glossy, Namjoon didn't even dare to look up cause if he did, he know s he can't stop himself.

"No! There is Joon" she started, hurt lacing in her words. "I asked the others but they won't tell me. They told me it's your responsibility."

"Y/N not right now, I'm tired." He mumbled, still not looking at her.

"Then when are you gonna say it to me huh? The day I die!?" Then he faced her, his hands are trembling, wanting to hold her so bad. "Please Joon, I'm hurting." His heart shattered seeing the love of his life cry infront of him. "I don't know why but I'm in pain seeing you walk away from me. Jia said you are really special to me."she sniffed as she leaned on his chest, the other not even moving. "Joon I want to remember but I can't. I was hoping you would help me remember all the things that made you special to me but you kept running away." Then she slowly looked at him, tears falling down her eyes. Please Joon, tell me."

Namjoon bit his lip and shakily removed her hold from him, he fixed himself before looking at her, his face void of any emotion.

"What we had before isn't special." You're lying Joon "Jia is wrong, I'm not special to you and you aren't special to me." You're lying Joon. "I'm older than you so this conversation is done."

Then he left again, he wanted to cry because he doesn't mean all of those. Y/N is special to him and he always knew she was.