《Goddess of the Moon (TEEN WOLF)》CHAPTER 13
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Stiles didn't know how long they both stood like that, he just tried not to move. He tried to hold Selena and hoped, that it would help her somehow. After a while he heard how Selena breathed out and noticed how she slowly let go off him.
"Thank you.", Selena said quietly and lifted her head to look at Stiles. She let her arms fall to her side and lowered her head again, a strand of hair falling into her face. She pushed it behind her ear and took a step backwards when Stiles eventually removed his arms from her body.
"Are you feeling any better?", he asked and sat on his bed, watching Selena who was still standing in the middle of the room, lost in her thoughts. She nodded her head and looked around the room.
"I just want to know what I am. I don't care about the alpha or Derek. I know it's selfish but I just... want to know who I am.", Selena admitted and looked at Stiles.
"Sometimes, it's ok to make yourself a priority. And we won't stop looking for an answer until we will find it, I promise. You just need to be patient." Selena nodded her head and the room went silent for a few seconds before Selena sighed. She rubbed her eyes with her hands and Stiles thought that she looked like a mixture of desperation, tiredness and helplessness.
"Maybe you just need a day off. One day of normality."
"I don't even know what that is.", Selena laughed and let herself fall onto Stiles' bed with another sigh. Her feet were still touching the ground while she lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling above her.
"Things like... going to the cinema, watching a lacrosse match, go on a party and get drunk, even though it's illegal.", Stiles thought out loud and smiled when he heard Selena laugh.
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"Sometimes it just feels like I lost 2 years of my life you know. Before my parents died in this fire, I had this kind of normality. I had friends and hobbies. I went to prom and at the end of the night, I cried because my date kissed another girl. I spent the summer with my friends at the lake, we tried to buy alcohol but failed badly. I started High School and me and my friends imagined this perfect school life and how we would go to college together after that. Our only worries were if we'd break up with the hot basketball player or if we'd try a long-distance relationship.
But then, I lost my parents and my home. I went from foster family to foster family, I failed all of my classes and lost interest in my hobbies and friends. And... I really didn't want to live anymore. I didn't even try. At some point my wishes of this great future turned into regrets and the only wish I had anymore was to stop breathing. So I tried it. I mean, I tried to stop breathing, to stop living. I failed though and ended up at the Eichen House where I spent another year of existing. I mean, I got better though. I am better. Just, still more existing than living I guess."
While telling her story, Selena lay there on Stiles' bed, staring at the ceiling with her hands on her stomach. She didn't seem nervous, or shy. She was calm and relaxed while she told Stiles her most painful memories. And while Stiles could hear his own heart break, her voice didn't break once.
"Hey, I got an idea.", Stiles suddenly said and Selena turned her head to look at him. Stiles didn't know exactly how to react to her words, but he felt that pity or sadness were not something Selena wanted to hear.
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"We should write you list. With all the things you need to catch up, like the normal teenage stuff." Selenas lips turned into a smile as she moved her body so she would sit on Stiles bed, her legs crossing. Stiles grinned and stood up to get some paper and a pencil. He grabbed some stuff from his desk before he sat next to Selena again.
"You definitely need to go to one of Lydias parties and ride Scotts motorbike.", Stiles thought out loud after their ideas got less. Selena nodded and got lost in thoughts of what else she might have missed in the last two years. Stiles did the same and played with the pencil in his hands while thinking.
"Have sex for the first time.", Selena said without any warning and Stiles startled, looking at Selena with big eyes and letting the pencil drop to the floor.
"Oh my god, you're acting like I just asked you to take my virginity right here. We're not that far, wait a few days." Selena said and winked at Stiles, holding back her laughter. Stiles still didn't response and his cheeks turned pink, Selena finally laughing.
"I'm just joking, Stiles. Now take the damn pencil and write it down." Stiles did what Selena asked him to and finally managed to not feel embarrassed anymore. He put it on the list anyway, having sex for the first time being number 14 on the list.
"Ok, one last one. Maybe have a huge birthday party.", Selena said and watched Stiles writing it down when he suddenly looked up at her.
"Selena, what is your birthdate?", he asked in a serious tone and stood up to get his phone.
"19th November 1994.", Selena answered and started to feel nervous, she didn't like how Stiles suddenly got all serious and seemed to be tensed.
"Why didn't we think of this earlier.", he muttered and typed something in his phone, Selena moved closer to him to see what he was looking for. Lunar eclipse 1994. Selena understood what Stiles was looking for and got even more nervous. They both knew, that this would be the proof for Selena being a goddess of the moon. Stiles clicked on some link, opening a website and scrolling through it until they found a list of November 1994. Selena felt disappointed, when her birthday was not shown in the list but she had a weird feeling when she saw that the night from the 17th to 18th November was listed.
"One day before my birthday.", Selena said quietly and saw how Stiles also looked at the date with narrowed eyes. They both thought, that this couldn't be a coincidence.
"What if my parents just changed the date of all the papers to protect me? Maybe I wasn't born on the 19th. It would make sense, right?" Selena looked up from the screen to look at Stiles who nodded his head.
"Could be a possibility. Where were you born? Maybe we can find some notes or documents about you or your mother in the hospital."
"Beacon Hills Memorial Hospital. We didn't live here but my mum worked there as a nurse before I was born.", Selena answered and Stiles nodded, instantly dialling Scotts number to ask him when his mum was working again. And Scott knowing, he would have to ask his mother for illegal help again.
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