《Fanfic Corner》Patience and Healing Chapter 9
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"You did it!" Finn cheered ecstatically as Rey arrived back in the common area of the Falcon, dropping her gear as she allowed her exhaustion to show. Finn scooped her up into a hug. "You amazing, wonderful -" He trailed off with a grunt of approval as she giggled, kissing her cheek. Then suddenly sobered up and dropped her to the floor. "You're not injured?"
"Barely a scratch." Rey confirmed, laughing as Finn let off a yodelling cheer and Chewbacca roared along with him, before sweeping her up into another laughing hug.
Moments later they both spotted Poe leaning in the doorway and sobered up again as Rey turned to him a mixture of sheepish and defiant. Before he just nodded with half a smile. "Good job." He praised.
"You aren't going to shout at me?" Rey checked, surprised.
"I can if you want me to, otherwise just enjoy it." Poe retorted and the two stubborn people shared a wry grin as he turned back to the cockpit.
"Jedi can drink, right? This calls for a celebration!" Finn cut in.
"One drink." Rey agreed firmly. "Encourage me to have more and I'll tip it over your head." She warned.
"Don't waste good ale!" Chewbacca growled.
Rey was pretty certain that Finn, and possibly Chewbacca, just wanted an excuse to celebrate. It wasn't even that critical a mission, it had been risky, but not overly so. But they'd had a few losses recently so a good win felt especially good again. So when the soldier and wookiee set to sharing old stories and attempting to beat each other at a series of games that C-3PO felt the need to referee and R2-D2 join in with, she just let it happen as she nursed her ale with BB-8 and D-O. The latter was just about comfortable with their ragtag group now, but still got nervous around loud noises. Such as a wookiee tackling an ex stormtrooper.
Rey hid her smile by taking a sip of her ale as she shook her head as she observed the common room. Then she realised that they were one short, and frowned to herself. BB-8 noticed and whirled a response, making Rey turn to the droid and raise an eyebrow, but BB-8 simply nudged into her. "All right, all right." She agreed, pretending to be annoyed at the droid goading her into trying to get Poe to join in.
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In truth, she didn't want them to have a celebration without him, even if they sometimes had to remind him the word fun existed. Her lips twitched slightly as she fought her smile as she grabbed another bottle and made her way to the cockpit.
She found him in the pilot seat staring out at the stars; his quiet place. As she dangled the bottle in his line of sight she remembered when he'd done this to her as a peace offering. His eyes travelled from focusing on the bottle in his face up her arm to see who'd come looking for him, smiling at her as he took the drink. Rey returned it and slipped into the copilot's seat. "You're missing a party."
Poe half smiled. "I thought that was a wookiee war cry." He retorted.
Rey chuckled. "They were wrestling when I left." She admitted, and Poe gave the corridor a concerned look. "C-3 is refereeing."
"I'm not sure that reassures me." Poe admitted.
"You want to go ref?" Rey checked. Poe chuckled, she had him there. A silence fell over them as they both stared at the stars as they nursed their drinks. "You don't want to join?"
Poe didn't look at her, he didn't want to see what he'd find in her expression. She was still healing after Exegol, he couldn't get in the way of that, even unintentionally. He hadn't set out looking for romance, just caring for a friend. After realising how deep his feelings for her ran, he had taken a step back, pulling away to control their interactions. He couldn't risk disrupting their friendship when she needed it most, and he was too much of a coward to open himself up to his own heartbreak when he knew he'd see only friendship in her eyes. Best to mitigate early, before it was too late. "Peace and quiet seems preferable right now." He decided. "Maybe I'll join in a bit."
Rey knew he was trying to reassure her that he was okay, but she had noticed a recent reluctance he had developed to social interactions. Maybe she should ask Finn, but with his lack of tact she wasn't likely to find out anything else. She wished Rose was here, Rose was good at things like this. Instead she turned back to the view of deep space, it was peaceful, and then looked back towards the rowdy common room, and then back to where Poe was still not looking at her.
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Rey realised that she'd rather be here. She missed Poe, even though she still saw him every day, but only on missions, only while working. She'd rather share his peace and quiet than umpire whatever new party game Finn and Chewbacca had come up with, the droids could deal with them, or at least one of them would come and find either her or Poe to sort it all out.
She settled down into her seat, rearranging herself for optimum comfort. Poe finally chanced a look at her, seeing her relaxed and settled in her seat as she took another sip made him smile, and he quickly turned back to the stars.
Since Exegol Rey had come to find the quiet moments like this with Poe comforting, but despite that she still felt restless as both her mind and fingers fidgeted. She knew she wasn't whole again, not by a long shot, but lately things hadn't felt so tough, that there was peace to be found, the metaphorical light at the end of the tunnel. So much of that had been due to Poe's quiet understanding, his patience and willingness to wait for her to approach him. The rest of their friends had helped, Finn's ability to make her laugh even when it wasn't his intent (once he'd taken a step back), Chewbacca's ever present strength and protection, the peace she found befriending D-O with BB-8, the little droid on a similar journey to herself. They were her family now, not the Palpatine line. Without them she'd never had got this far - certainly not this easily, and nothing about it had been easy so far - but it was only Poe who she had really let into the deeper parts.
Rey chanced a glance at Poe, who was paying her little heed and was still looking out at the stars. She turned back to them herself, they hadn't set off yet so for once they were still little pinpricks rather than blurs. She wasn't ready, wasn't healed enough for anything more than friendship. But when did life wait for you to be ready? Rey traced shapes in the stars as she tried to stop her mind entering a spin. Maybe it was simpler than she feared - and so much more complicated -, that she needed to stop being scared of the new feelings that were starting to grow, whilst accepting it wasn't the time the explore them. Fighting them was futile, but that didn't mean she had to let them control her either.
She was ready for a new chapter, as she searched for a particular speck of light. She shifted forward in her seat and pointed in it's general direction - to her best guess - with her bottle. "I need to go to Tatooine." Rey stated.
Poe turned to her before following where she was pointing. He almost asked why, but decided if he needed to know, she'd tell him. He nodded and started punching in coordinates.
Rey's expression flickered between surprised, soft, conflicted and peaceful, hiding it from Poe by turning back to the stars. Yes, it was time to let go of the past, to stop fighting it and accept it and embrace the pain as part of her now. Life went on, pain was a part of life and the Force required balance. It would be hard, but she had reached a turning point. She took another sip of her drink as she absentmindedly toyed with the lightsabre at her belt.
She had one last act of respect to perform, a proper send off, a door to close, a fate to meet and a life to live.
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