《WTF》13 - Warrior Takes Field

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The machine atomized Ricky’s body. It was instant and painless. His soul remained behind in the room of rebels and began to deteriorate immediately. A wormhole, shaped like a large electrical vortex, was then torn open next to it leading to the one moment in all history where time travel was possible. The machine then shoved the soul through. It appeared in a place called Chook's Creek, 25 years in the past. Destiny calculations determined that for the mission to have any chance of success, it had to be then and there.

The last process of the machine, ‘the atom yanker’, activated pulling countless atoms from the surroundings toward Ricky’s soul. It wasn't enough from any one thing to cause any damage, but the buildings, the street, and the crowd of people brawling outside, all contributed to the amassing atoms.

They came together to form an exact replica of Ricky’s body, housed around his soul. Although the soul deterioration stopped once this new body was formed, irreversible damage had been done. Unfortunately for Ricky, this meant he was now living on borrowed time.

The wormhole snapped shut behind him. Everything went wavy as reality came precariously close to ending. The universe thankfully righted itself by imploding Ricky’s timeline in on itself, ending that reality. Time travel ceased to be possible.

Ricky was crouched down in a classic terminator time travel pose (Fun fact: Terminator 2 still holds up as a classic even in the alternate future where Ricky is from). He opened his eyes and stood slowly, steam rising off of his naked body.

Ricky felt like something was missing. It wasn’t that he was naked, it was that he felt naked.

This feeling began the moment he opened his eyes and spotted a pair of sunglasses on the table next to where he had appeared. He just had to try them on.

The moment they covered his eyes, [Destined to Wield the Destined blade of Destiny], The spell Destiny Fish had cast on him before leaving, activated. He had just found his destined object of destiny, “Perrrfect,” he purred.

Now, clothed in destined sunglasses, he was ready to start his mission!

“Um…” a voice behind him called out. Ricky whipped around into a combat pose. A foolish, rookie mistake to get caught up in the wonders of time travel and destiny magic and leave his surroundings unchecked.

He locked eyes with the source of the voice. Nothing could have prepared Ricky for what happened next. His heart sped up, his arms dropped, and his mind went blank. A woman he had never met before stood before him. He felt an instant connection and all his stunned mind could think was, she's the one. Ricky fell in love at first sight.

It was more than that though. The woman was going through the same experience as Ricky; It was simultaneous love at first sight. It was the first meeting of soul mates. Neither magic, nor supernatural, this phenomenon surpassed both in raw world-shattering potential.

The woman’s eyes slowly worked their way up Ricky’s body until their gazes finally met. Goosebumps ran up and down their skin, breaths caught in their throats, and a million butterflies tickled their stomachs. It was like lightning struck the room and all of the air was sucked away.

Ricky’s new pair of sunglasses let him see the light radiating out of the soul of the woman. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Poets could dedicate their lives to describing the emotions Ricky felt, the beauty he saw, and they would fall short. The universe shrank down to just the two of them, the large man and the large woman standing before him.

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The sound of a scream somewhere outside snapped them out of the moment. Ricky smiled and scratched the back of his head, “Hi. I’m… Haha. Gosh, this is awkward. Sorry for dropping in on you like this. My name is Ricky, May I have the honour of knowing your name?” Ricky wanted to kill himself for being so lame. Why couldn't I just speak like a normal human?

However, despite Ricky’s surety that he just blew it, the woman blushed like a schoolgirl, “Hello, yes you gave me quite a surprise. You’ll have to tell me how you managed to appear in my room sometime. Perhaps over wine? My name is Wanda by the way. It is nice to meet you, Ricky.” Wanda wanted to punch herself in the face. Why are you inviting him for wine seconds after saying hello? Are you an alcoholic, Wanda?

Despite Wanda’s surety that she just blew it, Ricky’s face lit up, “It is a pleasure to meet you too, Wanda,” a loud crash outside shook the whole store. They both looked at the front door, and Ricky frowned. He turned back to Wanda and said, “I have something very important I need to do before I can explain everything. But I would love to take you up on your offer when I’m back. It pains me to ask but could you please wait for my return?”

“You’re leaving? Already?” Wanda’s face fell, “Promise me you’ll come back, Ricky.”

Ricky’s heart ached, he would do everything in his power to never let this woman down, “I promise.”

“Then I shall await your return. By the way, are you planning on taking my soul-sunglasses with you?” she asked, pointing to the sunglasses on Ricky’s face.

Ricky reached up to the glasses shocked, “Oh! I just kinda grabbed them. Sorry! Do you mind? I promise I’ll return them. It’s just, I feel kinda naked without them,”

Wanda looked down and quirked an eyebrow, “Without them, huh? Well, If it helps you come back sooner, by all means.”

Another crash outside drew both of their attention back to the front door, “That’s my cue,” Ricky said, “Thank you so much, Wanda. I promise, I’ll be right back!” He turned back and reached out to touch her shoulder but stopped when he spotted a man peeking through the door behind Wanda. There was something dreadfully familiar about him. Ricky gave him a respectful nod while Wanda spun around and glared at the man.

Ricky waved at both Wanda and the stranger, then ran out the door to complete his mission; assassinate the Matriarch. Outside of her front door was a familiar sight: a warzone. The shouts and cries from hundreds of men and women engaged in vicious melee combat on the street ignited Ricky’s battle spirit.

He scanned the crowds looking for his target, the shine of the combatant’s souls visible through his destined sunglasses. Almost missing her, he did a double take upon spotting the Matriarch. She was fighting a Smarty-piloted battle suit. She was so small.

The Smarty was losing badly. It was being shook like a rag doll in the Matriarch's Jaw. Ricky charged in to save the brave alien. He aimed his dash towards a bus and jumped, pulling himself up to its in one smooth movement. Then, maintaining his momentum, sprinted forward along the roof and leapt off, in a graceful swan-dive aimed straight at the Matriarch. He landed on her back, bouncing and scrambling not to fall, and managed to snake his arms around her neck in a chokehold.

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She dropped the limp battle suit she had been ravaging and tried to shake him off. His muscles squeezed tight, holding him on despite her bucking. Since she couldn't make him budge, she changed tactics, turning her back to the bus and leaping into it. Ricky’s back was slammed into the bus and he got sandwiched between fur and metal. He was forced to let go as her weight crushed the air out of his body.

Once his arms let go of her neck she moved away. The bus rocked back and forth and from a Ricky-sized dent in its side, the large man fell to the ground. She lunged down to bite him.

A laser pierced her snout. A second smarty battlesuit took the opportunity and opened fire with a laser pistol. Several lasers hit their mark, giving Ricky a chance to roll away under the bus.

The Matriarch winced, raising an arm to prevent the incoming lasers from hitting her face. They hurt like hell and left small bleeding holes in her body every time they hit. With Ricky escaped under the bus, she changed her target to the laser-toting Smarty.

Rushing forward, she scooped up the limp Smarty battlesuit she had defeated earlier in both hands and with a spin hurled it at the one firing lasers at her. The heavy battlesuit flew as if it weighed no more than a bag of feathers. The two Smarties crashed with such force that they were sent tumbling backwards, tangled together. The Smarty dropped its pistol while rolling.

The Matriarch wasted no time, turning and crouching to look under the bus for the man who had gotten away. He was getting up on the other side. Running at the bus, she leapt up on its roof and aimed her descent to the other side so she would leap down right in front of him.

Ricky looked up just in time to see her coming down. He planted one foot and spun into a high kick with his whole body behind it. Connecting with a satisfying crunch, The Matriarch’s head whipped sideways into the bus, hard enough to put another huge dent in it.

She snapped her jaws at him, narrowly missing his leg. She then needed a moment to shake the stars out of her vision and Ricky took the chance to run away back around the bus. He dashed out into the street towards the tangled-up aliens. The Matriarch gave chase.

Ricky leapt into a forward roll in the middle of the street, scooping up the alien's fallen laser pistol and spun around, weapon raised towards the Matriarch. He pulled the trigger over and over. The Matriarch skidded to a halt and dodged to the side. She was hit several times before finding cover behind a truck.

Ricky kept the pistol aimed at the truck and took a shot every time he saw the Matriarch peek out. Beside him, one of the alien battlesuits stood up. Its pilot seat panel opened to reveal a very young female Smarty, looking very panicked, “Earthling, that’s a very dangerous tool you are holding right now. I need you to give it back,” she raised her hands and slowly approached.

Ricky tilted his head, “You’re kidding!” he said. He knew this girl. They had fought together for years. She was the one who had taught him space karate, “Einstein?! Is that you?”

Einstein dashed forward, her battlesuit’s rockets blasting and performed a superb space karate punch to his solar plexus. Ricky flew backwards. He bounced and skidded several times off the road and into the midst of the crowd of people brawling.

He struggled to breathe. Despite his back being covered in gruesome, bloody road rash, he had somehow managed to retain both the laser pistol and his sunglasses in his flight across the street. However, he lost sight of both the Matriarch and the aliens as the crowd of fighters rolled over him.

He tried to get up, tried to get back into the fight, but that’s when it all went wrong. His whole body tensed in pain. It felt like spiders with razors for feet were crawling through his veins. The consequences of removing his soul for the time travel had finally caught up to him, his own soul was killing him.

People all around him fought with reckless abandonment for their own safety. They screamed and growled. Glass shattered, and explosions rang out all around him. Someone threw a tear gas canister into the crowd. Screams were replaced with coughs and gagging. The whole street shook, as something heavy slammed into it at high speed. They kicked and stood on Ricky, mostly unintentionally, as he was just in the way. He covered his head with his arms, curled up, and cried in pain.

A minute later, Ricky’s soul stabilised. His soul stopped trying to kill him and the pain subsided. It was over, but Ricky knew another soul attack would come and eventually they would kill him. But, for now, he was still alive and able to get back to his mission. The tear gas had done its thing and the crowd around Ricky was dispersed enough for him to get up and limp back to the fight.

He saw the Matriarch in the distance. She was messed up. He saw her tripping over her own feet, limping away, leaning on vehicles for support. Ricky raised the laser pistol and aimed at her back. As he squeezed the trigger, someone jumped on his back and screamed at him, punching him in the back of the head. His shot went wide, “Leave the Matriarch alone!” the woman screamed

Ricky threw her off and looked down at his attacker. It was another familiar face. A violent maniac he had met on countless battlefields in his previous life. A malicious smile grew on his face, “Well if it isn’t ‘Ingrid, the Butcher’. I was hoping I’d get to see you.”

“Matriarch! Tomas is nearby! Get him!” screamed Ingrid.

Ricky punched her in the face, shutting her up, and spun his head back towards the Matriarch. He caught sight of her as she was limping away towards Madame Wanda’s, “Tomas?”

Out the front of Wanda’s shop, he saw Wanda standing with the guy he had spotted inside earlier. Oh No! Ricky now remembered where he’d seen that guy before: he was an important face from the history books. That man was none other than, ‘Tomas, the sacrifice’! Gripping the laser pistol tight, Ricky sprinted forwards, praying to make it in time.

💪💪💪💪💪

The Matriarch

The Matriarch limped away towards the smell of Tomas. She hurt all over, those lasers had really done a number on her. But all was not lost. Tomas was close now. She rounded some police vehicles and spotted him, standing on the sidewalk.

She hardly recognised him. He was dirty from his weeks in the outback, he wore hideously unstylish clothes and his left hand was missing at the wrist. The biggest shock though was the cigarette in his mouth. She didn't know he smoked! He was standing by a large, magic looking woman who was also smoking.

Tomas saw her approach tensed up, and pulled a coat hanger out from his pants, holding it in front of him like a weapon, "Not another step you pubic hair covered mutt. You leave me ‘n Wanda out of it.” She stopped in her tracks, What did he call me?! “I’m having the worst bloody day. I'm just out here to enjoy a smoke and watch the show. Get back to your fight, ugly. You keep coming this way and I'm gonna tear your guts out and play around with your intestines like a kitten with a string. I'll punch my hand so far up your butt that I'll be able to control your mouth like a sock puppet. You hear me? Get back!”

She couldn’t believe the filth that was coming out of Tomas’ mouth. She opened and closed her mouth a few times to say something but nothing came out. No one spoke to her like that. She was the Matriarch! And who the heck is Wanda?! Was she Tomas' girlfriend?! Why hadn't she been introduced?! She hadn't even heard of her before?!

Her fury boiled over and for the first time in ages the Matriach spoke out loud, "How dare you speak to your mother like that?!?!?!"

Anyone within hearing range felt their survival instincts kick into overdrive as they warned them of the danger the Matriarch represented. Besides Tomas, the woman named Wanda Screamed and ran inside.

But not Tomas. He stood firm and looked her straight into the eyes. One Apex predator to another, "You. are. not. my. mother." Venom practically dripped from his tongue with each word.

The Matriarch's heart shattered into pieces. She should have been a better mother. She should have spent more time with Tomas, and been more nurturing. Most of all, she should have never agreed to eat him. She had let the power get to her head. Hearing Tomas' words gave her the ultimate reality check. She didn’t deserve to be called a mother. Guilt choked her throat. She raised her head to the sky and howled in sorrow, vowing to the moon to be a better mother from this day forth.

🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

Ricky (again)

Tears rolled down Ricky’s face. He had been sure he couldn’t make it in time, the Matriarch was going to eat Tomas, kill Wanda, and ascend. All because he had failed. But when all hope seemed lost, a miracle occurred. Ricky had no idea how Tomas did it, but not only did he give Wanda time to escape but the Matriarch slumped down at his feet, defeated!

He found it hard to keep the pistol trained on the Matriarch through all the tears filling his eyes. He gave her a wide circle as he made his way over to the hero of the day.

"Coming to give us grief too have ya mate? I’ll do to you what I did to her if you are." Tomas called out to him.

"No, I'm friendly. May I approach?" Ricky replied, wiping the tears away.

"No."

Ricky went over anyway and smiled, "I didn’t recognise you earlier, you must be Tomas. Boy am I glad you’re safe." He gestured to the Matriarch, who was bent over weeping, "I don’t know how you did it, but well done. I know all about the horrible things she has put you through,” The Matriarch’s cries grew louder at Ricky’s words, “If anyone deserves the honour of putting her down, it's you. Here use this, aim for the head," He passed the laser pistol over

Tomas frowned and tucked a coat hanger into his pants so he could accept the pistol.

Ricky’s soul started to burn again. He gripped his chest, "Normally, I’d stay and watch, but I don't have enough time. If you'll excuse me, I gotta go see about a girl," he beamed at Tomas, despite his pain, and strode off onto Wanda's house.

Wanda gasped when Ricky stumbled into her shop. He grabbed a hold of the wall to keep himself upright as the pain throughout his body intensified. She rushed over to help him, “Ricky! Oh my Gawsh you’re hurt!”

The sounds of several laser blasts, followed by the sound of Tomas laughing outside came through the door. It was over. Ricky looked up at Wanda with the widest smile he’d ever smiled, “I’ve never felt better in my life, actually,” pain flared out from his soul and washed over his whole body. It felt like his skin was on fire and his blood was boiling. He grit his teeth, his face turned red, and his eyes bulged out of his skull.

“Ricky!” Wanda cried out, confused. Tears filled her eyes.

The soul attack subsided, “OK, heh, maybe I need to sit down for a bit,” he admitted, a smile returning to his face.

“Come,” Wanda draped his arm over her shoulder and helped him into the room. She sat him down on the chair by the table, “What happened to you?”

Ricky laughed, which quickly turned into a wince. His stomach hurt from being punched earlier, “A lot… Too much,” He looked down at the floor, thinking how best to explain everything. Being around Wanda made him feel like an awkward teenager again.

“Do you need anything?” Her face was full of concern

He smiled, trying to set her heart at ease, “I have everything I need, right now,”

“Don't push yourself,” Wanda knelt down beside him, gripping his arm.

Ricky looked down at her, “This may shock you: I came here to kill someone today. They are completely evil and very much deserve it, but it's still a difficult thing to admit.

More time and effort than you can imagine was put into making that possible. My appearance in this room was a combination of several people's life’s work, a technological wonder beyond anything the world has ever seen, and literal magic. All those blood, sweat and tears had me thinking I was doing the most important thing ever. And then I met you.

The moment I laid eyes on you, that grim task suddenly seemed so small and meaningless. I felt regret at spending my life hating someone, when I could have been loving someone instead. In the end, I didn’t even pull the trigger, I let Tomas do it, I rushed in to see you again,” Ricky’s soul flared again, twice as painful as before. He spasmed and frothed at the mouth as pain ravaged him. He was left panting and sweating as the soul attack subsided.

“Ricky, darling, I can't tell you how happy it makes me feel to hear you say those words. But please, tell me what is happening to you. What can I do to help?” Wanda cried with Ricky.

“I’m afraid my soul is deteriorating. The ultimate price of my hatred. I’m dying. Nothing can reverse it now. I’m sorry.”

“What?! NO! Ricky, we just met! You can’t leave me! I know all about souls. Let me help!”

“I really am sorry. You must know, the soul is such a fragile thing,” He looked at the soul sitting on the table and tilted his head, “This is someone’s soul isn’t it? It is fascinating that you have removed it unharmed. Whose soul is this and how is it maintaining its shape?.” He asked, gesturing towards the jar.

“In the jar? Oh, that’s Tomas. That’s his body outside that you met earlier. I do hope it didn’t get eaten by that wolf. It got possessed. The glove is what’s keeping his soul unharmed. It’s made from a special material. Ah! Do you think we can rescue your soul with it? Like with implants?”

Ricky went still, “If that is Tomas, then who did I give the gun to? What if he didn’t kill the Matriarch?” He looked back at the front door in panic. He was about to speak again when another wave of soul pain swept over him. It was the worst one yet, he bled from his eyes and ear. His whole body twisted and bent unnaturally, and he stopped breathing. When the pain stopped he slumped down in the chair.

“Ricky! Ricky!” Wanda shook him.

With a gasp, he started breathing again, sitting up, “Wanda!” He gurgled through bloody teeth, “I’ve made a huge mistake. Please help me!”

“What is it?” she whispered.

“Put Tomas’ soul in my body,” Ricky croaked.

“No, anything but that!”

Ricky held up a hand to ward off her protests, “There’s no time. The fate of the world is at stake. I’m begging you, Wanda, tell Tomas to go outside, get the gun I gave to his body, and shoot the Matriarch before she recovers!”

“But what about you, Ricky?”

“I’m Dying anyway. Please, Wanda! You must hurry! Don’t let my mistake end us all! I beg you,”

Wanda hesitated, making a decision. She pulled the sunglasses off his face so she could look him in the eyes, and kissed him, “I love you,” she whispered and wiped the tears from her eyes with her sleeve, “I’ll do as you ask,” She rushed around the table to get her soul tongs and the remaining glove outside of the jar.

She came back and got to work immediately. She inserted the tongs into his chest. Ricky was starting to tremble as another wave of pain was starting to wash over him. Wanda kept her hand steady and pulled his soul out clean.

She let out a sob as his soul dissipated on the spot despite being within the tongs. Ricky’s body fell down onto the floor. Wanda wanted to throw herself down onto him and weep, but she pulled herself together instead; she still had a job to do.

She grabbed the mason jar off of the table and pulled the soul out with her tongs. She then shoved it into Ricky’s body. The soul entered and took control.

“Tomas?” Wanda asked.

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