Walking back home was an odd experience. There were a bunch of things that Dran said that were going on in my head, but at the same time, I was peaceful. It felt like I had a new way of connecting with Bela all of a sudden. Just letting him be himself and not trying to make him what I wanted him to be. It felt freeing.

The rest of the night was anything but freeing.

Sounds of violence met me as I came up to the front door of our home.

As I walked in, dad was holding Bela down on the floor, as my older brother cried very hard. Dad wasn’t really screaming, but his voice was very rough. “You’ll do what you’re told!”

Bela had his arms pinned on the floor and dad was sitting on top of him. Mom and Nela were in the entrance to the dining room, which was where I had just entered. I stood there. Frozen. Waiting for dad to notice me. I didn’t want to say anything.

He noticed the door opening and when I walked in he eyed me for a second. But he went back to Bela. “Say you’re sorry.” His voice was deadly calm.

Between the sobs Bela choked out: “I’m sorry mom.”

“It’s ok Bela…”

“No. It’s not, Tobllo!” After snapping at mom, he returned his stare at Bela, rage on his face. “He needs to mean it.”

Bela continued to sob and not respond. I didn’t know what he could have said to make dad happy. Usually we just had to wait until dad was done. Or got what he needed,

“Do you mean it?”

“Yes, dad.”

A scary second or two before dad got up off of him. And then he walked outside, leaving my brother, my sister, and my mom.

“Bela, are you ok?”

“Yeah mom.”

“Next time, just do what he asks, the first time.”

“Ok mom.”

I wanted to scream at her for not standing up to him. But that wouldn’t do any good. I’d said those words before.

By this time, everything that Dran had said had emptied out of me. I was just trying to make sense and survive. It didn’t even matter what dad had done. What had happened. It just mattered what I needed to know so I wouldn’t get hurt. Because Bela couldn’t help. Nela couldn’t, and mom either couldn’t or wouldn’t. At this point, I didn’t care. She leaned on her faith as the way out. I needed action. I could not trust in some kind of goodness of people or anyone trying to understand this monster.

*

Next week, I’d heard nothing from Dran or anyone else about A'rthur arriving. It was making me nervous. Would I go back into town and see if Dran knew anything? Would I sit through another session with him?

On one of the days of the week, for whatever reason, I wound up at Uncle Nelg’s. It had been a common place of visit for me. And dad had been bringing me into town more and more often as I had made it a point to learn more potions (and also steal them as I could). So everytime I came into town, I was making it a choice to stop in and see R'osy. Today was about going to check in and make sure that things were good between us. Dran had talked about her and I wanted to see what she was actually about. Maybe try to understand R'osy a little bit more. What could I gain from it? What could I lose? Having been around her enough times, I was almost sure that R'osy liked me, but the truth was I didn’t care. My life was chaos right now, and being close to her would make things much more difficult. It would be harder to hold the lies where they needed to be if someone was poking around a lot. And really the thing I wanted was to understand her more. It would make it easier, possibly, if I knew what drove her, and why. To understand her would make it easier to keep her at a distance.

“Hey R'osy.”

The same kind smile responded like so many times before. “Hey Ty.”

I walked past her, not quickly, but not slow either. The idea was to pretend like I was here to see the latest crafts from my brother. I had noticed the quality improve over time. The reason just probably being he was getting better as he got older. “Here to check on your brother’s work?” R'osy’s voice rang from behind me, even while I turned to see her handling payment for another customer. Her voice carried high and full of . . . some kind of emotion I couldn’t place. But I was farther back in the shop now, near the carpenter’s items, and she had raised her voice to ask me the question. I could take many things from that action, but decided to play the fool. I walked back to the front where she was still handling gold pieces for the older man at the desk.

“He’s getting better. And it seems that a lot of his stuff sells.” I looked at what the old man was buying. One of Bela’s little stone cats was on the table. It had been painted black (maybe by R'osy since she would do it for fun sometimes) and the sculpture was taking a nap. In the bright light of the sun from the front window, the cat looked kind of lifelike, except for the fact that it was a tiny figurine. I could see why it would be easy to sell. It looked very peaceful. I pointed at it and looked at the old man as I said, “That’s a good one.” The old man smiled and nodded, saying nothing. He had kind eyes.

When he left the store, R'osy turned to me, looking directly into my eyes. Before she spoke, a satisfied breath came from her nose and she stood on her toes for a second, bobbing back down before talking. “Yeah. He’s getting really good at them.”

Bela liked her. I’d completely forgotten in the last couple moments. “He’s doing pretty well for himself.” The image of his sobs in the dining room flashed before me. I pushed them down. “He’ll be taking over Uncle Nelg’s at one point.”

“Oh that’s right. He’d never been good with the potions from what I hear.” At another time, her quip would’ve stung. But not in my current state of emotions. “...though,” She continued. “I’d always thought you’d be the one doing the more complicated stuff.”

I blushed. Couldn’t help it, but I recovered fast. “I think I’m on a different path.”

“Oh? And what’s that?” Her eyebrows raised slightly.

A frustrated sigh before responding. “I don’t know. But it’ll take time to find out what it is.”

“Mysterious…” A smirk appeared and I almost thought I saw her wink. But I wasn’t looking too closely. Trying to not make too much eye contact.

“Frustrating.”

“Yes, I do find you frustrating at times.” Now the grin had turned into a full smile.

“Ha ha.” I responded dryly.

“Well you can’t blame me. You are very secretive.”

My eyes lit up at that. Was it so obvious? But that’s fine. I had my reasons. And as long as people didn’t know too many of my secrets. “I have my reasons for keeping them, R'osy.” Using her name to show how personal I wanted the words to feel to her.

They had the effect I wanted. “I’m sure you do…” And the smile disappeared into a frown. Her eyes fell to the counter, defeated.

“Just like I’m sure you have yours.”

And with that, she was staring at me again. But this time she was a deer looking for predators.

“Hmm? What do you mean?” There was fear on the edge of her question.

“I’ve been thinking about it.” I was careful not to say ‘about you’. I didn’t want to lead her on. “You come from a good background. This job is beneath you. It doesn’t pay well. You should be attending parties and involved in town politics. Not doing something so simple as this.” I pointed at the table where a stack of paper sheets recorded all of the store payments she was responsible for taking.

R'osy didn’t say anything. She stared. But I noticed that her fingers had become very active, playing with each other like spider legs testing the surface before running. “You don’t know anything about me.”

I’d been around enough of the kids in I'lochin by this time to hear all kinds of rumors. Among them, I knew certain things for certain. “Your father is advisor to the mayor. You live just up the road from here. Your mom carries power when the mayor must be decided.” I was trying to get into her personal life. Much more forcefully than she had done with me, but now that I thought on it, she had done the same over a much longer period of time. Payback time.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Tell me why. Why are you here?”

R'osy looked down at the table and I could see that she didn’t want to continue this conversation. “That’s none of your business.”

“Yet my life is somehow something you have a say to? You’re always asking what I’m up to. Wanting to hang out with me, seeing where I’m going. But if I ask about you then you say I’m not allowed to know?”

“...It’s embarrassing.”

I scoffed. “Join the club. You seem to want to anyway.”

Looking back up, her eyes begged at me to stop. But I didn’t feel very loving right now. The opposite. “You either keep your nose out of my life, or you tell me more about yours. That’s the deal.”

I left before she could reply.

Standing in the court square, something was snapping in me. The day was warm and I was on fire. There was a need to cause destruction around me. And an idea struck me that I’d never realized before: I walked through town, right up to the door of Tesim and knocked.

It was locked. Of course it would be. Dad wouldn’t be here. Wouldn’t risk it.

I thought about waiting there. Breaking in and surprising her when she got home. What if it was dad who came in through the door? Everything would be done for. But...he wouldn’t come into town if he didn’t know where I was. Plus he was away on business. He would need to know where I was first. Also, I would be in a lot of trouble for maybe staying out that late. Mom probably wouldn’t tell dad if I missed bedtime or anything. But was that worth it? This close to everything? A'rthur was in town. He had to be by now. Why hadn’t I seen him at our home yet?

I looked at the door and sighed. As my shoulders slouched, I told myself the answers could wait.

It turned out I didn’t have to wait long.

*

Sometimes what happens in life is more ‘colorful’ than we think.

As we experience something, we make it more than what it is.

Other times, we take out some things so that the pain doesn’t hurt as much…

*

It was three days prior that dad had been called into V'alen, apparently, on business. That was rather rare and he’d only done so maybe once or twice in my life. The timing was very unusual, given everything happening. Even more unusual was that he didn’t come home at night. I figured he must be held captive by A'rthur. Some kind of looking into the matter might be going on. Maybe that’s why the woman of sin wasn’t home when I went there after seeing R'osy yesterday. Maybe they were both locked up. And I wondered if I’d ever see my dad again. Strange thing to think that I didn’t care or want to see him for a long time.

It was under the same tree I sat, in the side yard, before all of my life had come undone just a few months ago. And now, I looked up at the clouds, completely lost. More than I had been when I first saw the wind move through the tree above me. Looking at the branches as they swayed ever so slightly, I found that I was ok now. I still didn’t understand the wind, but I knew that it was ok if I didn’t. Maybe one day, I would see what thing was causing it. But for now, I was living in the world I could see. It was full of things. Drama. Family. Love. Rage. Beauty. Ugliness. There was much to be seen and experienced or dealt with. I felt both alive and dead at the same time. Odd feeling. Balance, in a way.

Mom came back from Yghtl, like she did some mornings. But this time something was different. Dran walked onto our land at the same time, appearing on the hill above me. He was with mom. And he was dressed “normally”. That was very odd. I’d never once seen him visit our house. And I’d never seen him dressed in anything other than his bizarre clothing.

As I thought about what that could mean, a moment later they both came out of the house, Bela and Nela with them. Mom looked to her left, down to me, calling me. It was like a dream. Didn’t seem real, even as I climbed up the hill slowly.

“Hey mom…Dran.” My eyes were narrowed, ready for watching any kind of odd behavior.

“There’s a town meeting. You’re required to attend.” Dran said this to me, as I guessed everyone else had been told.

“Ok.” And with that we started walking into town. Meetings weren’t too uncommon. But they were usually very important and everyone needed to attend. Wars on the border, elections of new mayors, decisions about what to do with murders in town. Important stuff. “Where’s dad?” I knew he was on business. Yet still, this was one of the days he was always in town. His customers expected it. And our family had processed his absence last night silently. He’d show up whenever he wanted to.

“He’s in town. Someone spoke to him at the shop.”

We walked in silence. The other times I had asked about what the meetings were for, I had been told nothing. But I always felt fear about them. And now that I had been reading so much as of late, I had a new word for it: dread.

“What’s the meeting about?”

“Nela, we’re not going to know until we get there. The mayor will tell us.”

“But I want to know, Ty.”

“I know. But you need to wait.”

“Why?”

I looked at Dran. His eyes were on the road. He didn’t know I was looking his way, as Nela and I were in the back of the group of travelers. Back to Nela: “That’s the way it is.”

“But why?”

“Nela.” One word from mom got my little sister to quiet down.

The rest of the journey was in silence.

The town square was where the meetings were held long ago, but it would always be packed. The number of people living in and around I'lochin grew too great for the space, so in the past couple years anytime the town gathered, the roofs of the buildings would be used as additional standing spots. When one of the building roofs caved in and injured a dozen people, the space was moved out into the nearby field, same place where the Yghtl celebration took place. A hill served as a natural platform for the mayor to speak from.

Walking through the town square, I caught Dran’s house from the corner of my eye. All of the moss had been ripped off. When I asked him about it, he told me to stay quiet about it. Mom agreed with him, without prompting. I obeyed, worryingly. Today was turning very strange.

By the time we got to the hillside, it seemed like half the town had arrived so far, and since this was a Sunday that didn’t surprise me. No one really wanted to come to some bad news on a day off.

“Will you play with me, Ty?”

“Not right now, Nela.”

“But I’m BORED.” Nela spun around several times, seeming to think that would explain it more.

“No.”

“Ty.” Mom spoke my name with a certain power in it. I hadn’t heard it before. In fact, she seemed to be acting different today.

“Ok.” Nela moved away from the slowly growing crowd over to the edge of the clearing.

“I didn’t really want to play.” She whispered.

“Oh?”

“I was wondering how you and R'osy are doing. Is Bela any closer to finding true love?” I had been reading a book of stories and one of them was about lovers who had to find each other across sea and land. Changing the story slightly and retelling it to Nela had gotten her head full of adventure and romance. So now Bela and R'osy were on her mind. Great.

“Umm...no.” I thought of what had happened yesterday. Only yesterday. I had laid into R'osy and probably ruined Bela’s chances with her. It’d been a while since he and I had spoken about her. But then again, if I didn’t bring it up, he wouldn’t. I would have to find out how he felt. He wouldn’t give me emotions or thoughts without me digging. Such was his way. “Bela hasn’t really said anything lately.”

Nela frowned at me. “Ty.” She used a chiding voice. “Bela needs you to do most of this.” She was acting much more grown up than her nine years of aging. It would be interesting to see what kind of person she would grow up to be. “And you’ve been spending more time with R'osy than him. You need to make her see why he’s so special.”

“You’re right.” And I wasn’t sure if I was lying to my little sister.

“So what are you going to do?”

I thought about it. I could make amends with R'osy. Tell her what Bela thought of her. Explain his desires and why he would be good for her. Bela was a good person. Simple. But pure. He wanted the best for people. He would care for her. I looked into myself. I did not have the want or ability to care for much of anyone right now. I was so burdened with myself. My own survival amidst all of this violence and chaos. R'osy would be worse off with me. She didn’t deserve me. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do yet, Nela.”

“Hmm...well I think you should invite her over to see how Bela works with his tools.”

“That’s a pretty good idea.”

“Like now.” Nela pointed in the direction of the hill. I spotted R'osy a second later after looking into the crowd.

“I suppose that’s a good idea.”

Walking over to R'osy was done with small effort. The crowd was full of noise. Town gossip. News of the world. Updates on prices. Catches of the day. Tales. Whatnot. Normal conversation. But on the edge of all of the talk was the dread. People moved a little too much. Swayed...like the trees’ leaves from the wind. Some people swayed less. Like branches. There was the mayor. I could see him clearer as I moved close. He stood still, calmly watching everyone, uncaring. It was his job. To seem powerful and in charge. We looked to him for clarity and purpose. This man did it well.

R'osy was the most nervous of all the crowd though. Her eyes darted everywhere, searching for something. When she spotted me coming at her, she froze, locking on to me. A second later, her eyes darted to the right and then back to me. Almost unseeable (though I caught it) she leaned back slightly, almost in the same pose of the deer in the forest I’d seen yesterday. She seemed to be remembering that conversation. And I felt a little guilty as I walked up to her.

“R'osy.”

She didn’t respond.

“I’m sorry-”

“Ty.” She snapped at me just as I was about to explain. “You...today is going to be bad.”

Whatever I was about to say, it was drained from me.

“Go back to your family.” And she pointed back the way I had come from, like I was a dog.

So weird of her to do so. Who did she think she was? I thought about telling her off. But I stopped myself. I was here to make things right. Not to make them worse. “Rosy-”

“No. Go back.” She glared at me, with no hint of meanness in her voice or face. I obeyed.

“That didn’t look good.”

“It wasn’t.” I was still thinking over how she had behaved.

Nela started walking towards R'osy. “Nela!”

She didn’t respond. Seemed to be the way of today. No one answering me. “What are you doing?!”

Nela turned her head to me as she kept walking. “Fixing your mistake!”

That caused me a little bit of a laugh. Nela could be so brave and devilish sometimes. I continued to smile and chuckle as I watched her put her hands on her hips and tell R'osy off as the daughter of one of I'lochin’s high officers just stood there, listening to a little girl about the ways of the world. Finally, when Nela was done, R'osy pointed back to me. Nela came back to our family on the outside circle of the town’s population, gathered in a field.

“That didn’t look good.” I couldn’t help the smirk as I said it.

Nela was heated and kind of pouty. “At least now she knows to come visit Bela.”

It took a number of hours for the rest of the town to meet, and it was now dark. Only a single fire had been lit at the top of the hill, and the wind was trying to put it out. Luckily it wasn’t cold out tonight.

We didn’t have a faster way to get people together, and I wondered what would happen if there was a raid or attack on the people. We would probably all be doomed except for the people in the town, near the mayor. The town guards lived near his house. Just the way it was.

“Hello everyone. I have news for the town. It has come to the attention of the leaders of I'lochin that laws of the King may have been broken. Namely, lying and polygamy without consent were brought as accusations as one of the residents of I'lochin. A'rthur, who stands beside me, has come from V'alen to determine the truth of these claims. It has been concluded that the person accused was indeed guilty of certain transgressions, and justice will be met. A'rthur, I leave it to you.”

The mayor made his way off the hill, standing near R'osy’s family.

“Bring the accused.” Arthur's voice was shrill and mousy. Full in the nose.

A man, fully robed and masked so he would not be known by the crowd, was led by one of the guards to the top of the hill. His back was kept to everyone.

A'rthur continued. “The person before us committed the following: he did not reveal to his community the intent to seduce and enslave a woman in order to bed her. By order of W'illiam, acting under authority of King M'ark, this man’s life is now voided.”

The guard put a hand to the nape of the disguised figure and pushed it forward. The victim obeyed by bowing forward, away from the crowd, toward the forest’s tree line at the top of the hill. A killing stroke was sent, and the head dropped. Then the body fell, like a rock.

A gust of wind took out the fire. We were left in the dark as the night sky came into view.