Just as I got to the edge of town, where the lights started to get less bright, a breeze caught me and brought the beginning of rain. The extra cold made me shiver, and I discovered I’d made a mistake not planning for this. It was getting to be more and more fall-like. Cold weather, more moisture in the air. I tucked into my clothes, best I could, trying to keep warm. By the second gust of wind I dove into the forest just off the path, hoping to get away from the wind. Once I caught a breath and sat down, I just started crying.

The emotions of dealing with Dran. Of being caught by the bookstore owner. Of keeping so many secrets from so many people. The cold had made me feel how truly tired I really was. It was a heavy tired that was too much. I screamed, hoping at the same time that the world would hear me, and also that no one would know. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t want to go anywhere. I thought quickly, would I need to go home. Darkness was beginning to set and I could make it just before it got dark. But would anyone miss me? I missed my bed terribly in this moment. But as for my family: If they did miss me, I could lie about how long I spent with Dran. No one would question the time and no one would wait up for me. Such was our family. I had freedom to do whatever I wanted tonight. And what I wanted was someone to care for me.

I thought of all the people I could go to right now. Back to Dran. To Gahn. To R'osy…

Gahn was the most appealing. Someone I had come to connect with more than all the others. In a world of people who seemed to either want to help or not care at all, Gahn seemed to be honest about what he wanted and I could trust him. He had no mystery in him, just a hardness. I didn’t question anything about him. But I doubted his want or ability to care about me and hear my story.

I almost started the trip back into town. To sit above his roof and see if he was there. But I knew in myself that I might not even have the courage to knock on Gahn’s window. I didn’t know which was worse: believing he wouldn’t care or being right that he wouldn’t. Gahn was not an option it seemed.

Thinking of going to Dran was not something I wanted. He’d made a lot of feelings move around in me that I didn’t like and wasn’t sure I could control. I thought for a bit about the conversation we had, but the only real memory I’d had of all the words was a general fact that Dran wanted me to love my dad, forgive him, and not do anything about it. Dran was part of the problem. The problem that he knew . . . what did he know? Had I shown my hand? Panic set in as I thought over what I’d told him. Had I told him about the woman in sin? Would he go to dad and tell him? Would all my work be for nothing?

I took a deep breath. Not letting the panic set in. The breeze along the road returned me and I realized I needed to figure out what I was going to do, here, now. If nothing else, I needed to head home if I wasn’t going to go somewhere else. It was the safest bet. So I got back on the road and thought as I walked home. The cutting wind was the least of my worries now.

Dran had prodded me ever since I’d met him, and he was getting very close to knowing something more was up. I remembered now that I’d only told him of the violence. And some of my past. He had told me what he knew of dad, but apparently he’d known none of what had happened to me previously before he arrived in town. Seemed to make sense. He only cared about what was affecting his followers. Wouldn’t care about the past or suffering of people he had no control over. Still, to let mom, a devout follower suffer like this...the heat in my chest was almost enough to make me stop shivering and go warm all over. The anger was taking over like a blanket.

By the time I dug my hands into my pockets out of need for warmth, they were almost too numb to feel the paper, but I did notice the sound of the crunching. I’d written down what Dran had said to me about being dangerous. About the “path” I could take. What had he meant by that? I figured I would need to get home and in bed before I gave that more thought. Or let it just spin around in my head to give me company.

The random notion occurred to me that R'osy would probably love to hear all of this. But I knew that I wouldn’t trust her enough to give these secrets over. No one I knew of could carry them, at least, not without maybe betraying me.

Getting home, as I lay in bed, exhausted and cold, warming back up now and growing very tired, I had the happy thought that tomorrow would not be a school day. This would give me time to reflect. To pause and think on what had happened with Dran and what next actions I could take. Darkness took me before I knew it.

The rage of many weeks and days greeted me kindly the next morning. The fierce desire to set things right in my family was still giving me the reason to move through my days. The only other things I could’ve done was cry and give up hope. The rage was better.

Planning my day, laying in bed, I decided that doing some light reading would be more helpful, before jumping into deep thought on the words Dran had said. I had in this time acquired a large amount of both potions and alcohol from dad without his knowledge, and Gahn had traded me for them in exchange for two books: one about places in the world and another that explained the ideas of music and how the songs have evolved. Both I found intellectually fascinating, but not nearly as interesting as The King’s Domain. I had found another entry in the King’s Domain as well:

Law decree: polygamy

On the matter of multiple partners, not pertaining to domestic *dual-closed relations,

Those found guilty in the matter of not disclosing their polygamy to a dual-closed relation,

The king’s justice will be met by means in accordance with the judgment used by the King’s Bastion.

To Wit, the King’s Bastion will ensure that punishment is made according to what action is performed and how the damage of that action is realized. The Bastion carries the fullness of the King’s “Mind” and all outcomes are given with the same weight as if the King were acting thusly.

The wording of King’s Bastion was still unknown to me, and the wording was much the same as with the lying decree, where it mentioned what the King Bastion would do...but I still hadn’t found out yet what the thing or person was. But to ease my mind a little, I had only put an asterisk next to “dual-closed” because I knew (or at least had seen and was working on) the other ones. I could work on that word later, but for now I needed to know what the Bastion was and how I could use it for my purposes. I felt like I was spinning in circles thinking about it. Maybe Gahn would tell me, if I asked him directly. But I’d pushed my luck a little already asking him to get me THIS book. I didn’t know if I could give him the whole picture. It was unknown what he’d do with it. I just had...no one that I trusted. Someone who would see the evil for what it was and take action. I was almost there though. The King’s Domain. The fact that it existed. It was my way out, far as I could tell.

Turning my attention to other books would give me some rest. Putting the book on places and their histories gave my tired mind the chance to get fresh thoughts. And after a time, I was ready for the heavy task:

“You’re dangerous...but more than that, you’re smart...you can do a lot...which is very powerful...but also deadly...oh, and think wisely on what you do. Also, knowledge I seek is more powerful than me, if I don’t know how to use it.”

Given the time I’d had to think on these words, it seemed almost as if Dran knew what I was up to. Or that he knew I had more information than what I’d told him. The ideas ran wild. The things he could mean by those words. Did he mean he knew about the woman of sin? Was it possible that Dran knew about even more things than what I knew? The thought made me crazy. What I had found out had sent me down such a dark path that I couldn’t bear to think of all the other things that might be going on. It wasn’t even worth it now, I figured. I could go down a bad path of wasted time if I started looking for things in the shadows of my family. Instead, to the thing that I had in front of me.

The “knowledge I seek” part was very confusing and worrying, for the reasons I had just gone over in my mind. And without asking Dran more, I would have no idea about the truth of his words. He was being not helpful, on purpose, because of the other reasons he’d mentioned. He thought he was protecting me, himself, everyone, because he didn’t trust me. Could I win his trust somehow? I gave it a couple minutes of the most honest thinking I could, and came to the same answer: no. Dran didn’t trust me now, and I would be playing with fire to try and get him to trust me at all. He would take so many secrets from me in the process, or at least I couldn’t risk that something like that might happen.

I sighed heavily. I needed a mentor. Or someone to trust. R'osy seemed to really be my only option. But again I cou-an idea struck me. I could possibly write letters to Gahn, without telling him who they were from and creating some way of getting him to write letters back to a place I could pick them up. Could I get help from him without him knowing who was writing to him? Would he know it was from me? The idea was a hopeful one, because if done correctly, it would keep me safe. So the question became: who knew stuff about my family and who didn’t? How many details could I give about my situation without someone knowing? Was this kind of thing happening to a lot of families in our town? If so, I would be hard to find. If I didn’t know, then this was a risk. But if I made things super unfamiliar...and then another idea struck me. Why not write to the shopkeeper? If I wrote to him, he would be most likely very unfamiliar. And even if he was, I could make the writing seem childish. If Nela were blamed, could I lie enough to not be caught? Would everyone think it was actually me? They would...because I was the most of our family to be known for writing. I’d even gotten away with actually reading the Ygh, as a lie to sell my need to see Dran. So my family, at least, would think I’m the one who wrote the letters. But if I used R'osy as the lie...yes. If I wrote as her or someone like her, and made the details of my questions look more like her problem...I would be clean. R'osy herself might blame me somehow, but no one would believe her, I didn’t think. It would be the easiest way.

I’d found an idea that could possibly work. An idea that would help me out of the hell I’d become aware I was living in.

The actual working of the plan was very easy. I took a couple papers here and there for “school” and wrote out my questions:

To the bookstore of I'lochin,

This letter is for the owner. I have a question about one of your books. The King’s Law is a book I recently bought from your store and I need to know what the King’s Bastion is, as I have not found an explanation of the idea anywhere in the book though I have seen the word many times in it. For secrecy reasons, I cannot tell you who I am, or even talk to you in person. But to answer my question, please leave an answer by placing one of your chairs outside near the door of your store for a day or two. This letter is blank on the other side. Please write your response there and leave the letter tied to the bottom of the chair in a hidden way. Thank you much for your fast reply.

It took several attempts to write the letter in the most flowery and lady-like style, but I did it. The papers I rejected for being not good or making too many mistakes were torn up many times and fed to our pigs amidst their normal meal.

As for getting the letter to the shopkeep at the bookstore, I came up with another idea that I was very proud of. Using my network of kid spies, I made it a game to have one of them put the letter near the front of the store behind a book. It would be found quickly, I imagined. And if not, they could pretend to find it by accident. To do this, I gave one of the kids near my size my clothes to borrow. A coat was borrowed on a rainy day to hide my clothes from too much view, in case the shopkeep knew them to be mine. And so he received the letter, according to plan.

To my even greater delight, he left a quick response tied underneath a chair within hours of my letter delivery. In the dead of night, another kid “spy” grabbed the letter and delivered it to me at my house, early while everyone else was still asleep. The entire thing took two days:

Dear *patron,

I *appreciate your request for information about the King’s Bastion. It is a little known topic and I understand your *hesitance on this *matter. Please see the following book on the King’s Bastion:

King’s Domain: History of Bastions

The answer was so brief and to the point that I almost was mad, except I was glad to have at least another answer to go on. The question became how to request that book from Gahn. While I still had the kid with me outside my house, in the early morning I told him to wait as I snuck back into the house and wrote my response:

Sir,

I cannot request or get the book you mention. The reason I will not explain. Would you be willing to give the book as some kind of trade, and use the means of secrecy that you and I have established to tell me your answer?

I gave the letter to the little boy and asked him to put the letter back under the chair, just as he found it. Before he left I stopped him though. In case the chair is gone, leave the letter behind a book. Then have another kid find the letter on the shelf by accident. This was the same way I had done it two days ago, but I had used different kids each time, and I could possibly use the same couple of children if I put in a more permanent way of writing. So I rewrote the letter to include the following:

Also please leave your letter under the chair again, and I shall respond in the same way. If you need or have a better way to keep this secret, let me know.

I sent the child off and waited for a response. It came over a number of days and after two weeks the following back and forth had occurred:

My *honored patron,

If you would simply pay me the money for the book I would give it to you in whatever way you need.

My response to this was easy, once I thought about it for a bit. I’d actually already figured out the answer by the time he’d written me back. Gahn and I had traded money for the chemicals I was stealing from my dad. When I got the letter asking for money, I sent a letter back with the money, no letter written. The book ended up being delivered, according to the shopkeeper, as having been placed in a special wrapping near a pile of unused pottery outside of a spy friend’s house down an alley on the other side of I'lochin. As afraid as I was that the shopkeeper was trying to catch my little helpers, they brought the book to me, no problem.

King’s Domain: History of Bastions

The book was not very thick, and the price for it was very low, given how much it meant to me. I would have been prepared to pay a lot more for it, but I didn’t dare let the shopkeeper know that. This was the first time I’d bought a book from someone other than Gahn, and the only other book I’d owned was the Yghtl (Dran had given me a free copy). It was funny, thinking of the Yghtl, compared to this book. One was a religious book, full of rules. This...I didn’t know what it was. The excitement shot through me in the same way it had when I was holding King’s Domain. Based on the name of this book, it seemed that the History of Bastions was an extra, something that explained more about the Bastions that were given power in the King’s Domain. The next non-school day I had, I traveled into the woods again, behind our house, and opened its pages slowly:

King’s Domain: History of Bastions

On the establishment of those Bastions, who in service to the King, should make the will of said power known, visible to all in the physical realm. The King does decree that men, who be found to stand in nature according to his will, should carry with them the full power and *agency of his throne. To carry out the laws and desires of the King’s mind, the Bastions should move throughout the land, at the will of the King, to ensure the people found therein would be made subject to rule.

In the land of V'alen, Bastion of V'alen, W'illiam

In the land of L’ort, Bastion of Lort, B’en

In the land of S’ongel, Bastion of Noril, J’on

In the land of V’asla, Bastion of Vasla, K’erry

In the land of P’ino, Bastion of Pino, J’ames

In the eastern farther lands:

In the land of Bual, Bastion of Bual, S’arah

In the land of Bual, Bastion of Bual, T’’itus

In the land of Bual, Bastion of Bual, Ruqur

In the land of Bual, Bastion of Bual, Ehxoa

In the land of Draro, Bastion of Draro, E’dward

In the land of Draro, Bastion of Draro, Gunly

In the land of Draro, Bastion of Draro, Tapam

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, P’aul

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, K’risten

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, J’ennifer

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, W’endy

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Munri

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Munir

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Ograt

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Eralu

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Terho

In the land of Garad, Bastion of Garad, Norof

In the counting of the acts of these men:

C’aleb, first Bastion, in the land of V'alen, settling the dispute of two chickens owned by five women...

I read a little further but did not continue. Much of the rest seemed to be just actions taken in the name of the king so far. Tapam did this to someone for stealing, or Dorga did that to a murderer. The book was laid at my side and I became incredibly thoughtful.

To start, some of these places I had heard of. Many of the others I had not. The books I had read before (like the one on geography) had given me the places before, and how far away they were. Maps and half-filled stories of adventures to far away lands had been set before me as well. They seemed like dreams. And not things I was concerned with at this time. I had work here in I'lochin and my mind needed to be here. The closest of these Bastions was in V'alen, though.

And they were men. The Bastions were not some kind of law or idea. They were men who took action. This is what I had maybe thought was true and now it was confirmed. I would be able to maybe write to this Bastion of V'alen, this W'illiam, and see what he thought of my situation. Maybe he would come to my aid and set things right.

The reason for my caution came flooding up. If I were to do this, it would need to be done in secret. I could not be found out. For if my father escaped what was right in his punishment...he would likely kill me. Or worse...keep me alive and under his rule even harder. But to know that there was someone more powerful than him, that he would need to answer to. It put hope in me for the first time. Books had given me hope, but not like this. This was more. It was enduring. There was finally a way out for our family from the evil of my father’s actions. I had considered, if I should also get him to be found in breaking the Polygamy rule, but I thought better of it. I would need to catch him on Lying only, because I couldn’t figure out how to ask my parents about how they viewed their marriage. If I thought dad could be found against that, all the better. But I had no way of knowing. Better to let him be found to be a liar and then if mom should discover that he was also sleeping with someone against her will, even better.

Again to the caution. If all of this were to go sideways, I would need to not be found as the one who brought things to the surface where all could see. I played the future out in my head. The Bastion coming to town. Talking to my dad. Finding him guilty. Everyone would know. However my dad would be punished, I would need to find out. I flipped through the History of Bastions and found some places where liars were either made to pay money or were in some cases thrown into confinement for long periods of time…

An odd thought struck me and I carried the punishment to the extreme: I thought hard on whether my dad deserved death for what he had done - and was still doing.

No.

But he did deserve almost everything up to that. Life in a stockade? Probably not. But a couple years? Definitely. Nothing less than being thrown out of our family and probably even town was what he deserved. I would feel safer in the world if I never saw him again. The idea of his spirit in the house where I slept...it kept me awake unless I slept in the warm blanket of pure rage. It was calming to hate him back with all of the same measure of meanness he showed to everyone else in his life.

The emotions were too intense now and I needed a break. I really just needed to make a trip into town. Clear my head. It would help with sorting through if I should even do what I was planning to do. I felt a slight loss for having no one to truly talk to about this. I felt alone. Very alone. And more than anything my thoughts turned to R'osy. She had seemed kind. Very wanting to make sure I was ok. But it had been my constant experience that people would always fail me. R'osy would fail me. If she truly cared for me, she wouldn’t after finding out everything about me, about my family. About what I was planning to do. She wouldn’t understand.

The thought occurred. Maybe R'osy had her own pain in her life. Maybe she would understand. But...the idea hurt me. To trust someone and expect them to not leave. A lot of old hurts were coming to the surface and I didn’t know what to do with them besides kill them. The path forward was clear and wouldn’t make me come undone. Without getting R'osy involved, I could keep myself intact. Maybe one day...I would find a way to let myself go to someone who I could trust. But not now. Too many things were at stake.

I wanted a reason to walk into town, but couldn’t immediately think of one. The walk would let me process things. Maybe bringing Nela or Bela along would be good for keeping them close to me, emotionally. Maybe both? What would we do in town? Visit R'osy or Dran likely. Not much else. But it would be good to be with them for a time. Besides chores and normal play times on the farm, we didn’t have much time to just talk. It seemed that roads were great places to talk about the deeper things. It gave space, while we were on a “journey” to somewhere. I thought there was great power and depth in that idea but I couldn’t really point to how it was.

In the number of fights the Bastions had been in, they were incredibly gifted and wealthy in the ways they could destroy their enemies. The stories of Rugur, Eralu, and Tenra were the most interesting, as they appeared near the end, and involved a lot of fights where the three men would need to settle a lot of conflicts in Bual. That was a town very far to the south east, on the frontier of the Kingdom, and it became very obvious why three different men were needed there. There were man tales of destroying multiple strongholds, ranging from devils worship, thieves guilds, to wild men who would rape and pillage in and near Bual. The last chapters of the book were filled with wild tales of battle that sounded very violent in nature and I was now very sure that these Bastions were good at killing and violence, and that they came from very strong backgrounds. The descriptions of their armor and weapons were filled with a lot of different kinds, so they must have had the ability to buy things they needed or wanted for their tasks. One of the very famous examples was a task several years ago called The Cold Cleansing, that had been a trip into a very dark place called Rogtoug (I had not been able to find this place written about in the cities or places of the known world), where Munir of Bual and several of his trusted captains (these appeared to be people Munir gave tasks to) went into a town and killed...killed many many people. The reasons for it were not given too much detail. But it seemed that a kind of plague had come on the town and it had to be dealt with. No one survived.

These Bastions were not to be messed with it seemed, so I was feeling much better about sending a letter to the Bastion of V'alen about my father. He would not easily escape W'illiam, from what I had read. For his part, W'illiam appeared very few times, but I believed this was because King M'ark sat in power in Velen. In a city that size and the capital no less, it would be far less likely to find large amounts of evil. Most of the stories in W'illiam’s actions were about corruption. It was a word I had to look up. I had to go to Poet Poul to find the meaning and then it made sense. Corruption, the idea of cheating the King from being so close to his power, it made sense. People who could get away with things probably would, in my opinion. That’s what had put my father and my family in this place we now were. My dad being more powerful and doing what he wanted because no one had come along to stop him. Until now. I would bring who I needed to stop him.

“I’ve been talking to some of the other people in town and it seems that there might be a place for you if you want…”

Dad’s words came to me like fog. I was not going to listen to what my dad had to say about anything. Even though what he was saying was actually of great importance to me. I had lost all respect for him.

“I’ll think about it. But lately I’ve been spending a lot of time with Dran and learning the faith. That seems to be more...my thing.” I winced slightly, trying to show that I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. Although nothing could be further from the truth.

“All right.” Dad shrugged his shoulders and bounced from the cart hitting a bump in the road. “It’s an option for you, if you want it, though.” His ‘all right’ was a dismissive gesture. He knew I wasn’t much to him, and he’d done his part in trying to at least offer me something: to show that he cared about me (though the lie was much greater). I turned my head away, looking to the trees so I could pretend he didn’t exist. Thinking better of it, I watched my feet, hoping that I could look like I was thinking about his offer.

Dad had offered me a chance to get some real education, maybe. A couple he had talked to in town were offering to possibly “tutor” me (I asked him what that was). I didn’t know these people, but my dad seemed to have a very strong relationship with them. I didn’t know if I wanted the offer. It could get me into town more...but it would also mean something for dad that I might not be seeing. Was he playing a game? I’d made my moves as careful as I could. I was so close to my goal…

“Well met, good stranger!”

My father slowed the cart to a stop so that he could return the standard reply. “Well met, indeed!”

“I am headed to V'alen, and wish to ride with you!” This man’s cheerful smile was a little too fake for me, and he seemed to have caught up with our slow moving cart without either me or dad noticing.

“We are only headed as far as I'lochin.”

The stranger paused for a second as he stared without acknowledgement: “I'lochin...I do not know that town.”

“It lies between here and V'alen.” I answered, not too kindly.

“Ty.” My dad gestured a hand at me without looking my way, eyes still on the stranger. “If we were to offer a ride...I would need some manner of payment for the burden you put on my horses.”

“Of course. Goes without saying.” Though the man did wait half-a-second too long before replying. It seemed the way of my dad, to never give anything for free. The man reached into his pocket and produced several low-gold pieces, a half day’s wages. He almost offered all of it to my father, but then asked: “How far is I'lochin?”

“A couple more hours.”

He put about half of the low-gold into his other hand and offered the smaller portion to my father, silently.

It took one second longer than would’ve been kind, but dad accepted the offer with a simple nod and took the payment. “Your name?”

“Gluten.”

I moved closer to dad and the new passenger walked around the cart to sit where I had been.

Within a mile or two, conversation was struck:

“So…what do you do and what is your name?”

“I am Eneres, the potion maker of I'lochin.”

“And I imagine your son here helps you?”

A slight nod from my father as he kept his eyes on the road. Silence landed between all of us, while I suspected D'rew was hoping we would respond with conversation too.

I waited for my father, but then gave the stranger what I thought he wanted, after my dad kept the silence.

“And what do you do, D'rew?” I asked.

“I’m an accountant for King M'ark.”

Before he continued, I almost gasped in surprise. He must’ve caught it.

“Well...one of many accountants.” He dipped his head slightly in humility. Maybe he did indeed catch my amazement and surprise. “I keep an accounting of Garad and its holdings.”

This time I caught my face but still thought: Garad! That was mentioned in the History of the Bastions! I can’t let dad know I’ve read it though...

“I doubt you’ve heard of the place though.”

“I’ve heard of it.”

My dad’s response almost knocked me over. I turned slowly to him, trying to not give myself away. He knew of Garad? He’d never mentioned it. In fact, he never talked of anything other than I'lochin. I decided to play for information and learn what I could.

“Where’s Garad?” I asked.

D'rew smiled at me. “Where is it? Well, where’s I'lochin?”

I caught the meaning but still waited silently.

“Not many people know where it is, or that it exists.” His eyes shifted from me to my dad, who was behind my vision, to the left most place on the rolling cart. “I’m surprised to meet someone who’s heard of it.”

“I only know of it,” My dad explained. “Because I serve a number of people passing through to V'alen. I hear news of the world.”

“Ahh. Well then I’m sorry you’ve heard of Garad then. You must know how hellish it’s been.”

“The news itself doesn’t concern me. I just hear it.” I turned to dad to see that he was still looking straight at the road. It was so rude and yet like him, all the same. This man who had joined us...the stories he would have.

It broke my heart to ride in silence the rest of the way. D'rew, having possibly caught my dad’s personality and roughness, decided it was best to not say anything more or ask questions. I was missing a huge gift here, to learn more about the world, and maybe even about Bastions, but to do so would say to my dad that I was still the curious child he had come to find me to be. But I had told him I was now more interested in Ygh. And in his mind, that was the small outlook on the world. Faith caused one to go stupid, in his eyes. And it was a safe lie for me to be in, because he would suspect me less as I set about to trap him. So to talk to this stranger would be possibly dangerous. A sigh escaped me.