《The Wizard And The Private Eye》Chapter 10: A bad influence

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The bar was a familiar scene for the duo. It was called the “Red Tavern” and many of the regulars from last time were there. The bar counter was made with a moderate level of craftsmanship and the spinster manning the drinks was pretty enough if you squinted. Overall, it was a cheap place but not a total shithole, the exact kind of place Richard felt at home in.

There was a million things he wanted to do, especially now that he had ghost powers, but he had a goal this time around. He walked up to the counter as Colby obediently trotted up behind him and talked to the bartender.

“Hey toots, I’ve got a few coins and I’m looking to make some more of them. Got any things goin’ on around here?”

Richard put on his best charm face but the bartender completely ignored him. At first he felt a little insulted but then he remembered the position he was in.

“Oh, shit right, you can’t see me… Colby, repeat what I said.”

“Wha- what? I can’t say that!”

“Why not?”

“It’s- it’s so lewd! And vulgar! Mommy said that one should always be polite and to respect my elders…”

*Sigh* “look kid, has that ever gotten you anywhere?”

“Well, no, but-”

“No buts! Your sister’s life is in danger isn’t it? Shouldn’t you do whatever it takes, even if it’s a little vulgar?”

Colby couldn’t argue with his logic, but Richard had the most dirty grin he’d ever seen plastered on his face, which caused Colby to question whether he was really making an honest appeal for his sister’s sake.

“Look, kid, just follow my lead and repeat after me. We’ll get this sorted out soon enough.”

“A-alright…” Colby quietly agreed and turned to the bartender.

“H-H-Hey toots…. I-I’ve got a few coins a-and I’m looking to m-make some more of them? Got… any things going on a-around this place?”

“Gods, boy that came out about as well as the roar of my old car…”

Nevertheless, it seemed to work as the bartender lady turned to Colby and looked bemused for a moment, before her eyes lit up with recognition. She had an accent reminiscent of a southern drawl.

“Why, if it isn’t Dick? Glad to see your back, hun!” She chuckled “looking to take some more of these boys’s money hey? Well, it just so happens that the regulars are challenging a couple of merchants to a game of cards upstairs. Though… you might need an invitation to get in…”

As Colby was trying to think of ways to get an invitation, Richard was already heading straight for the stairs, and he had to hurriedly chase after him.

The tavern had a large lobby on the main floor, and a set of stairs leading up to a mezzanine, which lead further to some rentable rooms.

On that mezzanine, there was a single table with 4 people around it. It seemed the gamblers rented out the entire upstairs for this.

“Ho-ho, high rollers. Just the kind of people we’re looking for.” Richard laughed.

As the duo got to the top of the stairs, a buff looking man got in their way.

“Hey kid, the upstairs are reserved, nobody can come up here.”

“Who’s that?” A familiar green man from the table called out.

“Do you know this boy?” another man at the table wearing nice clothes asked.

“It’s Dick! The one and only! Frank, let him pass, I guarantee this guy will show us a great time!” Grok bellowed.

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After the merchant gave their consent, the guard, Frank, let Colby pass.

As the duo were walking towards the gamling table, Colby looked up at Richard and asked

“D-do you know what you’re doing…?”

“Oh, ye of little faith! Trust me, we’ll win any game they throw at us!”

“W-will you know how to play again?” Colby asked. This gave Richard a slight pause, but he decided to brush off this concern.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. After all, the only thing a gambler requires is a satchel and his luck!” He arrogantly stated to cover up his own hesitation. However, when they got to the table it became evident that they would have no such worries.

“I-It’s fucking cribbage! Are you shitting me!?!?” Richard yelled with a laugh as he saw the game on the table. Sure enough, there was a wooden board with holes for pegs, as well as playing cards made out of thin wood slabs.

Coming to the table, Grok welcomed Colby with open arms.

“Ah-ha! Hey boy, it’s nice of ya’ to join us!”

“H-hi” Colby meekly responded. Grok looked at Colby a little funny, but quickly began introducing the people.

The table was square with Grok and one other person on one side, and 2 people dressed fancily across from them.

“This ‘ere is David, an old buddy of mine,” The person next to Grok waved “And the two people covered in fancy clothes are Gustav and Ricardo, merchants from another city.”

Whilst David looked like a plain old peasant, Gustav was fat and covered in jewels, while Ricardo was lanky in modest but not too modest clothing.

“And of course there’s Frank over there, to keep the peace.” Grok added, pointing towards the guard from earlier.

“H-hi everyone. I’m Colb- Richard! I’m Richard!”

“But call me dick” Richard insisted

“Y-yeah, I will.” Colby responded to Richard, even though he’s the only one who could hear him. Richard smoothly face palmed.

Everyone at the table looked at Colby funny.

“H-hey Grok, you sure this kid’s alright in the head?” David asked. Richard and Colby began to sweat profusely as the pressure of scrutiny increased steadily.

What felt like minutes went by before Grok burst out laughing.

“He must be drunk already! That’s ol’ Dick for ya’, won’t wait for anyone to get the party going!” Grok declared.

“y-yeah… “ Colby responded. Soon David, then all the other people around the table joined in Grok’s laughing.

“Grok, you big beautiful green man!” Richard exclaimed in joy. “Let’s get started!”

“Let’s get started” Colby obediently repeated, much to Grok’s delight.

“Thatta boy!” Grok yelled “These damn merchants have been bleeding us dry, we need you to come show them up!”

“Hold on, our game can only fit 4 players” Gustav, the merchant interjected.

“Ah, that’s alright. I’m outta money already” David confessed, smoothly making a spot for Colby to play.

Now it was Grok against Gustav, and Colby against Ricardo.

“So, I assume you know how to play?” Ricardo asked Colby.

Colby looked to the side and asked “Do we?” Richard nodded and Colby looked back and confirmed he did.

Ricardo looked a little put off by this, but now the whole table had just accepted that it was due to Colby’s drunkenness, so he didn’t say anything and just began dealing.

While Grok muttered how impressed he was that Colby already knew a rich persons’ game, everyone continued on with the preparations.

“Ohhoho, time to get to work” Richard said while rubbing his hands together and waltzing over towards the merchant’s end of the table. Colby nervously followed him with his eyes but didn’t say anything.

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Ricardo shuffled the deck, then looked at Colby and said “cut”

Colby looked to Rcihard, but Richard simply said “Wait, wait, wait, just one second!” Richard was doing all sorts of experiments with the deck that was facing down on the table, trying to interact, or blow wind with his mouth to peek at the cards. Then, he seemingly had an idea and shoved his whole head into the table.

“Oh-ho-ho! This works… just take a looksy and….”

Just as Ricardo was starting to get impatient, Richard declared “Ok! Pull apart the deck, right here at this card!” Pointing at a specific card in the pile. Colby did as he was told and cut the deck at the designated wood slab. Ricardo then dealt 6 cards to both of them, one at a time. Ricardo then picked up and held his six cards against his chest, while Colby copied him.

When they looked at their hands, Ricardo gave a slight scowl while Richard began laughing and celebrating, dancing around.

“Ok, ok, take these two cards and put them on the table” Richard instructed. Then the game finally began. Colby followed Richards instructions, not fully understanding the game, but on almost every hand, Colby scored points, quickly getting a lead on Ricardo as David monitored to keep the game fair.

After a few more hands, Colby’s peg was getting very close to the end of the board and Richard was having a grand old time.

“You see that hole there? That’s called the ‘stink hole’. My favorite thing about playing in bars is getting to peg the stink, though it’s hard to find a woman that’ll let me!” Richard laughed at his own joke that went right over Colby’s head.

When the game ended, with Colby easily defeating Ricardo, David and Grok cheered while Ricardo muttered “Damn beginners luck…”

Gustav berated Ricardo “How did you lose to that kid?! You better not lose again!” While Grok bought Colby a beer.

“Here Dick, my boy! Drink up, you deserve this! I wish my game was going as well as yours…”

Intense ire was being directed towards Colby from the pair of merchants, whilst Grok and David looked at the beer in Colby’s hand expectedly, and Colby became very nervous very fast. Panicking, Colby excused himself from the table and dragged Richard over to a corner of the room.

“M-Mr Richard? I don’t think I can do this anymore…” Colby complained.

“How many times will I have to tell you, call me ‘Dick’, and also, what kinda quitters talk is that?”

“B-but they want me to drink the alcohol, I’m not supposed to.”

“Listen, this is for your sister right? Don’t sweat the small stuff, we’re doing great!”

“B-but what will happen if I drink it!? Mom says it’s dangerous!”

“It’s not dangerous. Look, I drank it in your body, didn’t I? You were fine!”

“W-wait! That’s it, why don’t you take my body again! That way you can do this!” Colby begged.

“Kid, I can’t do everything for you, sometimes you just gotta suck it up and hit life by the chin. Besides, do you know how to do that weird body swap shit again?” Richard prodded. Indeed, Colby didn’t know how to make Richard control his body, so he was left standing nervously, out of options.

“Colby, here- look at me.” Richard crouched down to meet Colby’s eye level. “There is nothing to worry about. Everything will work out fine, we’ll do this, bring home money and by tomorrow, you’ll forget all about this and your sister will be better. For your sister, right?”

Colby took in a deep breath then silently nodded.

“Great, c’mon let’s get back to the table and take all their money.”

“Won’t taking their money hurt them?” Colby asked as he followed behind.

“Nah, everyone knows never to gamble more than you can afford to lose.” Richard lied as easily as he breathed.

As the pair got to the table, the players were just handing out the money. A huge pile of ote was pushed across the table in front of Colby. The pile of coins was so big and so shiny, it took his breath away and completely enraptured him. All of a sudden, Colby’s previous hesitation flew away and he looked at his drink, gulped once then downed the whole thing while the table cheered.

Colby and Richard proceeded to play against, and beat Ricardo once more. And as Ricardo cried and lamented that he was out of coins, Grok also had to drop out because Gustav had beaten him in their own game.

“What, you lost again!? To a kid!?” Gustav yelled at his partner.

“H-he’s really good!” Ricardo defended, but Gustav wasn’t hearing any of it as he pushed Ricardo out of the way.

“Alright kid, you’ll play me!” Colby easily accepted, at this point he was starting to get drunk and loosen up since the drinks kept on coming throughout the game.

Quickly, Colby beat Gustav and was starting to feel the high from winning at gambling several times, forgetting the minor detail that he cheated. After Colby happily scooped up Gustav’s ote from the table, the waitress brought him another glass and Colby smiled at her and told her

“Thanks toots” in his childish voice. The waitress blushed as Colby slipped a coin into her pants. He had never done anything like this before, but it just came naturally to him and it didn’t help that Grok and David were incessantly egging him on.

The second game with Gustav proceeded smoothly, however Gustav was a very good Cribbage player and wasn’t too far behind Colby in score.

“Ok, Colby. This round we’re going to let Gustav win.” Richard told Colby with a measured face.

“Wha-what?!” Colby drunkenly complained. He was getting very into it and was starting to look more like a dirty man in Vegas than an innocent 10 year old boy. “But we’re winning! We can’t just give up now! Just keep telling me the cards!” Colby had been laughing and drinking throughout the whole night and was having trouble thinking calmly.

“We’re not giving up. See, sometimes letting the opponent win once in a while is a good thing. Look at this guy Colby, he doesn’t look like the sensible type, letting him win will prevent problems and keep the suspicion of cheating off of us.” Richard explained this, but he was still telling Colby what cards the opponent had and which ones to play to prevent the game from slowing down.

Even though sober Colby listened to Richard as someone much more experienced than him, sloshed Colby didn’t hear him at all and kept playing.

“Ok, Colby. That’s enough” Colby was only a few points away from winning the game, but he didn’t slow down. Richard scowled but then had an idea. “Alright… Colby, play your 9…” he instructed.

Colby looked at Richard one more and hesitated, before a grin grew on his lips and he slapped down his 5 excitedly, making the count a clean 31. After playing several games, Colby had actually picked up on the rules and cheekily saw through Richards’ trick, winning himself the game.

“Oh you little shit-” Richard was about to crack off at the smug Colby but before he could, Gustav flipped the table!

“Cheater! You cheater!” Gustav accused. The sharp anger that he was shown made Colby regain his sense of reason just a little bit and he found himself scared at the outburst.

Luckily Grok stood up to defend his buddy.

“Dick’s not a cheater! He beat you fair and square!”

“He had to be cheating! No kid can play that well!” Gustav yelled and Frank stepped up to confront Grok.

“And how exactly do you suppose he’s cheating?!” Grok shot back “We all monitored the game, are you saying that we’re too stupid to catch that much cheating!?”

Grok’s roaring made Frank step back a little bit, but Gustav yelled on

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! He clearly cheated and you guys are too dumb to notice!”

“Oh, like you’re any better!? Taking your rich man’s game and playing the common folk like us, you’re just as much of a cheater!” Grok laughed

“Grrrrr!! Frank, get him!”

But before Frank could make a move, Grok took the first swing and hit Frank in the face. They then started brawling and the big green ork was clearly winning. Gustav and Ricardo then both jumped into the dogpile to try and help Frank beat Grok.

Colby was nervous, now that violence had broken out, he lost all of the bravery that his liquid courage had given him. While everyone was distracted, David had gathered up all of Colby’s winning and put them in a large sack used to carry firewood, and got Colby’s attention.

“Here kid, today was a blast. You earned this.”

Colby nervously looked towards Grok but David assuaged his concerns.

“Ah, don’t worry about them, Grok will be fine. Take this and go quickly!”

“Haha! Not the best result, but this works!” Richard cackled then began running for the stairs. “Come on, kid!”

Colby quickly grabbed the heavy sack full of money and began to follow after Richard. Gustav spotted him from the Dogpile and shouted “Where do you think you’re going!?” But a hand reached up from the brawl and pulled on his face, throwing him back into the fight and Colby was able to make a clean getaway.

“I’ll get you back for this!” They could hear the merchant say as they ran away.

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