《The Three Lives of Mr. Amazing》Gingerbread Cay
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Lance was sitting on the veranda with his notebook. Mr. Amazing was wearing a pair of shorts and was smoking a cigar and sipping a frozen cocktail.
“So, why don't we talk about the Seals?" - said Lance.
Weeks had passed on Gingerbread Cay - and progress on Mr. Amazing’s autobiography was moving slowly. Mr. Amazing was distracted, and unwilling to share information that was needed to bulk out the pages. So far most of what Mr. Amazing had shared he had told Lance he couldn’t include in the book. The stories of his dreams - or memories - and of violent missions for the CIA. Mr. Amazing was feeling depressed and unhappy about his life in exile on a small island in the Caribbean sea.
The waves crashed down on the beach, and the warm trade winds blew through the palm trees.
“The Seals?” - said Mr. Amazing.
“Yeah - the Seals” - said Lance, smiling a hopeful smile.
Mr. Amazing shrugged. The pair of them sat in silence for a while.
“The Seals training is supposed to be especially tough - perhaps you can tell me about it, and how you dealt with it?” - said Lance, still smiling his hopeful smile.
Mr. Amazing chuckled to himself, and puffed his cigar - “That is where I first got my name - Mr. Fucking Amazing they called me”
Lance began making some notes.
“You are right, Lance - the Seals training is supposed to be especially tough, but not for me. The instructors couldn’t understand it. The other recruits were nearly dying from exhaustion and stress and fatigue - but for me, it was easy. Really easy!”
Lance continued to make notes.
“They have this thing they make you do in the Seals called surf torture. All the recruits have to lay down in the water on the beach at Silver Strand Beach in Coronado - in the Pacific Ocean. And you have to link arms and just lay there as the surf washes over you - and it is freezing cold, apparently” - Mr. Amazing took a sip of his frozen cocktail - “And the instructors will tell the group that you have to stay in the surf until three people quit the course - it is a test to see who can push themselves past their physical and mental limits. Guys, really tough guys, will be crying in the surf - as they slowly develop hypothermia and the instructors are yelling the whole time telling everyone that as soon as three people quit the whole group can get out of the water and get warm blankets and hot soup. And all the time this was going on - I was just laying in the water and I was just fine. I was warm and happy and I wasn’t tired or cold or thinking about quitting. I wasn’t thinking about the warm blankets or the hot soup. I was just fine where I was. And I thought to myself that I could stay there forever - that I could have fallen asleep as the waves crashed down and washed over me. It was so relaxing and calming. While the other recruits were crying and going through mental and physical crises, I was staring up at the stars and was happy and content. That’s what the Seals training was for me - it was nothing special. I may as well have been laying in my bed. That has been everything and everyday for me - things that you consider amazing or incredible, those things to me are just ordinary. Not even noteworthy. The drill instructors at the Seals would try to find ways to punish me for this - because everything that the other recruits struggled with I found so easy. The instructors would give me an extra 10 mile run - but to me that is meaningless. They could have given me a 100 mile run, or a 500 mile run and it would be the same as not asking me to do anything extra. And that is why the instructors gave me the name Mr. Fucking Amazing - not becuase they thought I was amazing, but because they couldn’t break me or even come close to breaking me. And that was what it was like being in the Seals - it was easy. Not even noteworthy…”
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Lance had been scribbling in his notebook as Mr. Amazing had been talking. When Mr. Amazing finished Lance looked up, and they sat in silence for a while. Mr. Amazing puffed his cigar and took sips from his cocktail.
“And what about the Seal operations - were they easy?” - said Lance after a while.
“The same. Not really noteworthy.” - said Mr. Amazing.
“Why?” - said Lance
Mr. Amazing puffed his cigar and stared down at the beach and the waves crashing down.
“I guess there is a certain exhilaration in combat that comes from knowing your life could end at any moment. As bullets fly past your head, the senses are heightened. To kill someone in battle - or to be killed in battle, has a natural intensity. A literal battle of life and death. But if you cannot be killed by a bullet, or run through by a bayonet, or be ripped apart by a fragmentation grenade then there is no intensity and no heightening of the senses. Storming an enemy position and killing them is about as exciting as unblocking a toilet for a plumber. It is just a job. Maybe the first few times it seems exciting, but once you realize that you cannot be killed then it is just a job.”
Lance continued to make notes, and Mr. Amazing continued to stare at the waves and puff his cigar. There was silence again.
“They told me - Murray told me - that they might have a mission for me. A mission to the stars and a mission to hunt for life on another planet” - said Mr. Amazing.
Lance smiled - “That sounds exciting!”
Mr. Amazing snorted - “Not really. I am pretty sure that is how they plan to get rid of me. They tell me that they have found signs of alien life and they need me, Mr. Fucking Amazing, to go and investogate. And they put me in a rocket and blast me off and that would be the last anyone saw or heard of me.”
“Why would they want to get rid of you?” - said Lance, now looking concerned.
“Because…”
‘Because what?” - said Lance
Mr. Amazing sipped his frozen cocktail, and puffed his cigar - “Look, I have had enough of this today”
“Okay - maybe we can try some more tomorrow?” - said Lance, closing his notebook.
“Maybe…” - said Mr. Amazing.
Lance stood, and crossed the veranda and headed into the house. He headed up the stairs to his room and locked the door behind him. He pulled the satellite phone from his bag, and powered it on. When the phone was ready he dialed a number and then waited - “Yeah, it's me…yeah…He is still the same…mawkish…depressed…yeah. I think he knows. Yeah - soon. Okay. I will let them know”
And then Lance hung up and turned it off and placed it back in his bag.
***
It was evening, and Mr. Amazing was still sitting on the veranda. The sounds of the waves crashing down on the beach could be heard, and the sky was filled with thousands of stars. Mr. Amazing was smoking a cigar and staring down at the darkness of the beach. The door to the house opened, and Kiki stepped out carrying a tray. Kiki was dressed in a bikini top, and her lower half was covered in a sarong.
“Hey you” - said Kiki, walking over with the tray.
Mr. Amazing didn’t pay Kiki any attention. He just continued to stare out into the darkness.
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“Burt made you some tea” - said Kiki, sitting down beside Mr. Amazing and placing the tray on the table.
Mr. Amazing turned to the table, and stared at the tray with a large cup of steaming tea on it.
“Tea?” - said Mr. Amazing, an incredulous look on his face.
“Yes, tea” - said Kiki - “To help you relax”
“Do I look like I need help to relax?” - said Mr. Amazing, turning back to the darkness of the beach.
“Look baby - I know you are not happy down here, and that things have got a bit mixed up. But it will all be okay - everything will sort itself out” - said Kiki, putting a hand on Mr. Amazing’s shoulder and kissing him on the cheek.
Mr. Amazing shrugged.
“Just try the tea - and then perhaps I can give you a massage and help you really relax. It’s been a while since we have done it”
Mr. Amazing smiled at Kiki, and then puffed his cigar and picked up the tea. He held the mug to his lips, and drank the hot drink in one go. He placed the cup down on the tray and winced - “You can tell Burt his tea tastes like fucking ass!”
Mr. Amazing raised his hand to his mouth, and puffed his cigar - and then his hand flopped down by his side. The cigar dropped to the floor. Kiki stared at him - “Are you okay, Baby?”
Mr. Amazing sat frozen. He didn’t reply and couldn’t move. Kiki stood and walked back to the house, and moments later she was joined by two other people. It was Dr. Janus and her assistant.
“Hell Dick” - said Dr. Janus, walking up to where Mr. Amazing was sitting - “It’s been a long while”
Mr. Amazing sat motionless, seemingly paralyzed.
Dr. Janus pulled out a chair and sat down opposite where Mr. Amazing was sitting - “VX nerve agent. Burt placed it in the tea, and Kiki got you to drink it. It will render you paralyzed and compromised for about 20 minutes”
Mr. Amazing sat motionless - unable to move.
“The tiniest amount of VX will kill a normal human. 5 mg will kill a normal human almost instantly, and we have given you a dose many thousands of times higher than that. It will not kill you, Dick Rollins, but it will keep you nice and quiet and diminish some of your power whilst we wait…”
Dr. Janus sat in silence as Kiki stood behind her. Dr. Janus’ assistant walked to the edge of the veranda and pulled a pair of night vision goggles out from his pouch and scanned the dark beach beyond.
“It is here…” - said the assistant a few moments later, and Dr. Janus turned and looked down towards the beach. A figure could be seen emerging from the water.
Dr. Janus smiled at Mr. Amazing, and then spoke - “You don’t exist, Mr. Amazing. The person you are, the real person you are died a long time ago. You are not Mr. Amazing, or Richard Ladd. You are Dick Rollins, and you died in the execution chamber of a prison many years ago for killing a family. Those dreams you have - those dreams you talk to Lance about. The dream of the remote house in the countryside - of the man and the woman, and the little baby. That is not a dream, that is a memory - those are the memories of the Dick Rollins who killed them. Dick Rollins killed them and was executed and died…”
A tear rolled down Mr. Amazing’s cheek as he sat paralyzed.
“...and I brought Dick Rollins back to life, and erased his memories and created Richard Ladd. And then I created Mr. Amazing. And you were such a perfect specimen for a while. Perfect in every way. But then you had to ruin it, Dick!”
The figure that had appeared down on the beach now stepped onto the veranda. The assistant stepped back, and a naked Baxter McGill walked past him and stood behind where Dr. Janus was sitting. Baxter had cold dead eyes, and was naked. His bulging muscles glistened under the veranda lighting.
“All this nonsense about being the chosen one…” - continued Dr. Janus - “...it has ruined everything, Dick. And now - it is time to clean this mess up”
Baxter’s cold dead eyes stared at the paraplyzed Mr. Amazing - his expression unflinching.
“...As far as the world will be concerned, Dick - you have left this planet and will be on a mission to a distant system to investigate extraterrestrial life. You will be forever in the hearts and minds of the people - bravely adventuring across space. But the reality, Dick - is that you will die here tonight."
Dr. Janus’ assistant stepped towards her, and whispered in her ear. Dr. Janus nodded.
“Well, enough of this talking. Time is not on our side and the VX will only keep you compliant for so long, Dick” - said Dr. Janus, standing up and moving beside where Baxter was standing.
More tears rolled from Mr. Amazing’s eyes, and Baxter stared at him.
“Mr. Gill - if you would be so kind and complete your mission” - said Dr. Janus.
Baxter stepped forward and stared at Mr. Amazing. He hesitated.
“Mr. McGill, now!” - said Dr. Janus sternly.
Baxter extended his arms, and placed them either side of Mr. Amazing’s head. Baxter lifted the paralyzed Mr. Amazing up, and Mr. Amazing’s body hung limply.
“DO IT!” - shouted Dr. Janus.
Baxter began squeezing either side of Mr. Amazing’s head - and his arms shook with exertion. Mr. Amazing stared ahead at Baxter, his face expressionless. Baxter’s eyes and Mr. Amazing’s locked - as Baxter continued to crush Mr. Amazing’s head. Mr. Amazing’s eyes began to bulge - and tears began running from his eyes. At the same time Baxter’s face was contorted and twisted. His lip quivered and tears began running from his eyes - “I…love…you…Mister…Amazing” - Baxter whispered, and then Mr. Amazing’s skull cracked as Baxter’s hands crushed his head.
Mr. Amazing’s body fell to the floor, and Baxter stepped back - blood dripping from his hands. Baxter was crying hysterically - but not in control of himself. Dr. Janus, her assistant, and Kiki all stared at Mr. Amazing’s body that lay twitching on the veranda - “The flame that burns twice as bright burns half as long…” - said Dr. Janus.
“Now, if you would take care of Mr. McGill, please” - said Dr. Janus, and her assistant pulled a device from his bag that he turned on.
Baxter stood staring at Mr. Amazing’s body - ‘WHAT HAVE I DONE!” - he screamed, staggering back. The assistant pressed some buttons on the device he was holding, and Baxter’s head exploded.
“Very good” - said Dr. Janus.
Burt and Lance appeared from the house.
“Burt and Lance, if you will please take care of the clean-up” - said Dr. Janus.
Burt and Lance agreed, and returned to the house to get the body bags.
“Kiki - if you can destroy all of his belongings please” - said Dr. Janus, and Kiki went to the house to begin her tasks.
“Congratulations, doctor” - said the assistant.
“Yes, Mr. McGill worked out perfectly for us. We will make sure that all new subjects have the chip inserted” - said Dr. Janus, smiling and staring at Baxter’s headless body.
“What about Murray?” - said the assistant.
“The boys at the agency are taking care of him, and then the president will be announcing Mr. Amazing’s mission”
“Excellent” - said the assistant - “And what now?”
“What now?” - said Dr. Janus - “We learn from our mistakes, find another subject, and move forward.”
“Very good” - said the assistant.
“Perhaps we will try something different this time” - said Dr. Janus, smiling.
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