《Luck based loser》But getting right to the POINT of the matter.
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“Behind the curtain huh? I take it your yellow bricked road is more narrow, slightly whiter and sold in metric units, rather than imperial measurements?”
The narrator taps his nose out of habit to show the hero was on the money, or at least as on the money as a broke person can be, but forgot what he had just done and let out a deep snort as blood dripped down his nostril.
The OSHA dragon, alerted by a person in need, went to perform the Friedrich manoeuvre but found no physical body to administer fatal crushing to.
« Ah, I see. So every German name that sounds slightly similar now becomes a way to squeeze people to death ? »
DING, HERO HAS LEARNED THE FRIEDRICH UBER CRUSH.
“I think that’s stepping into dangerous territory there. Why don’t we select Caspar Friedrich instead of the other moustache guy. Add a bit of art in our lives, rather than a vicious circle that ends up with yet another well-intentioned genocide.”
The hero prefers a more artful genocide instead?
“Yes, but without the genocide part. Just more artful if possible. »
That sounds like heresy dear hero. The church will never allow for it.
“What church? I never heard about any church.”
The church of heresy specializes in, well, heresy. So anyone that dares to trespass on their territory is seen as stealing their techniques and industry secrets. The main villain created it after several other demon-lords stood up and tried to claim his position. They’re a ravenous cult of murdering lunatics with bright red robes nicknames ‘the periods’.
“Eww. And no doubt that nobody ever expects the periods to come?”
Hardly. Their order goes forth into the general populace at least once a month. Handing out pamphlets made out of extra absorbent paper on how to handle the arrival of your local period. How to present yourself for inspection and how…
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"I have a weird vision going though my head of an endless parade of people, naked from the waist down, raising their asses in the air as the local period inspects it. Very closely. Making sure not to damage the merchandise."
Oh, the hero should have said he had first hand experience with this most holy of processes.
"You know, if you always expect the worst to happen and always end up being right, it doesn't mean you're a visionary. It just means you live in a very shitty world and need to get the fuck out.
"POINT, no kidding. Even in my world this type of debauchery isn't afforded that easily. You'd need a private island and lots of blackmail material involving important politicians before you can have the type of fun that you lucky bastards get here for free."
"Wait... weren't you dead? Crushed and all that? I'm fairly certain I saw very thin outline that looked physically and mentally weak in the dirt a few moments ago."
"POINT, I just regenerated. I injected nanobots right into my veins back in the real world. So I'm basically immortal. Sadly, couldn't do anything about the weak physique. Only reduce the amount of time it took to recombine."
"So you're like a regenerating shield that can absorb one attack for me every minute?"
"POINT, exactly... wait... no. That would be unsuitable for a man of my intellectual prowess."
"Unsuitable, but not impossible. This is great. I found myself a temporary tank. Now I just need DPS and a healer."
“POINT, and in this capable triumvirate of strength that will face down our enemies you will obviously be a porter of sorts? Mixer of drinks? Runner of aways?”
“Hm, now that you mention it, I could make a pretty mean daiquiri. Especially now that I've got my new vibrating mixing stick.“
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Just a gentle reminder that putting any type of energy weapon, especially used by an elderly queen who hasn't had a husband in more than a decade, in close contact with a volatile substance, might be more... let's say cataclysmic? than intended.
“Everyone's a critic. Fine, you try making a daiquiri then. See if you do any better.”
The narrator taps a freshly brought in barrel of brown material and indicates that nobody should ever drink something that has an ABV below their own age. As that would technically be classified as a soft drink meant for nursing children.
“You know, that does add to the explanation of how this world acquired the mental equivalence to a six year old with depression as a standard. If you force your developing braincells into facing one another in a battle royale induced by alcohol from the age of one. All of you are playing a game of highlander, where only the strongest braincell will remain in the end. Hence why multi-tasking is impossible here.”
The narrator takes a bottle in both hands and drinks from both at the same time while mentally giving the hero two middle fingers. Showing ample proof that quad tasking is very much possible for a superior lifeform.
“Can one of those quad tasks be you putting a handle on the back of William so I can use him as a disposable meatshield?”
“POINT, I'll have you know that that is harassment. And I will send a strongly, STRONGLY worded letter to your author letting him know about this.”
“I have a feeling he already knows and is laughing at you too?”
“POINT, how so?”
“Well, you start every sentence with the word POINT, even though we decided we no longer need an identifying aspect to every sentence. Mostly because it reminds him of a cartoon series he watched as a kid.”
“POINT, ah, you mean last year. POINT.”
“Wouldn't piss him off too much. Because too much haha, pretty soon turns into more POINT's. Maybe your entire sentence structure turns into versions of low and high pitched POINT's where you turn into a low-rent version of Kenny from southpark who dies every few minutes.”
“POINT, point taken. POINT”
“Exactly my point.”
“POINT”
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Old Version - The First Magician
INDEFINITE HIATUS I always seem to make these too long when I ask for peoples opinions so I’m not gonna try an exciting description anymore but instead just give you an idea of what to expect. First off, this is my 2nd attempt at a story but my foundation for this one is much better than the 1st already and I see this going much further and so far its coming together much faster and easier. So please excuse me if things are not up to publishing standards. Also I tend to confuse your, you’re and so on so sorry to people that triggers ahead of time. The First Magician follows the story of 15 year old Alex in a post apocalyptic rpg-ish world in the near future. Earth was transformed, monsters appeared and people began being able to use Ki but could not figure out how to use magic. Alex ends up becoming the first human able to use magic through a series of events and sets in motion events that will change the very future of the human race. He will be somewhat OP simply because he is the only human (at least to start, who knows about later?) who is able to use mana. Many classic RPG elements have been removed. I didn’t want the story to be like all of the other lit rpg stories on RRL but it also makes the writing easier for me hence the watering down of rpg elements. UPDATES: I am doing this to relieve stress and for fun so I will release chapters when I can. So far though ive managed to keep up with 2 most days. CONTENT WARNINGS: There will be some light language but it won't be insane. I might have some gore later on but am unsure and the same for the sexual content. Sexual content isn't super likely as I doubt I can write it well but I put the tag so people cant yell about it if I add some in the future but forgot to add the tag. COVER ART: Yes it is from the anime Log Horizon. It is a good representation of what earth looks like despite it not being many years in the future. DISCORD: https://discord.gg/s6V3hGV
8 129Marvelous Jester
Would you be willing to risk the world to protect your family? Garrett, a traumatized former soldier of the empire, suddenly finds himself thrust into the world of power and politics when his little sister is prophecised to bring about the end of the world. Forced on the run, he must do what most would think impossible - break the [Level 20] level cap and step onto the Path of Ascension. Only with the power of the famed Ascended - adventurers, heroes, protectors of the plane - will he stand a chance to keep what is most precious to him safe from a world that is suddenly out to get them. However his own personal power will not be enough. He must gather allies, break beyond the mortal limits and upturn the social order if he wants to have a prayer of succeeding. But will Garrett and his allies be the salvation of this world - or will they be it's damnation? Marvelous Jester is a LitRPG story set in a completely original fantasy world. Updates on Wednesdays and Sundays.
8 205Betrayed in a Blessed World (Web Novel)
One day, a group of friends are engulfed by ‘pure light’, and were abruptly summoned into a fantasy world. There are too many mysteries surrounding this ‘pure light’, as the phenomenon continues to drag residents over haphazardly. This causes mayhem for the residents of the world of magic. As the situation continue to escalate; instead of working together, everyone begins to lay out their true intentions bare for others to see. Friends start scheming and directing hostility at one another. Others begin to give in to their desires and go out of control. To top it off, kingdoms try to figure out ways to manipulate the summoned residents for their own ends. Can anyone still be able to retain their sincerity and empathy under such circumstances? or will this become a situation where everyone will be fending for themselves and killing each other? (Updated- May 7th, 2019) Genre: Adventure, Romance, Fantasy, Drama, Psychological, Harem, Tragedy, Seinen, Isekai Tags: Transported to Another World, Fantasy World, Sword and Magic, Alternate World, ?????, ?????, ?????, Multiple Transported Individuals, Summoned Heroes, Childhood friends, Multiple POV, Divine Protection, ?????, Death Of Loved Ones, Friends Become Enemies, Familial Love, ?????, Rape, Discrimination, ?????, ?????, ?????, ?????, Male Protagonist, ?????, Blind Character, ?????, Female Lead Falls In Love First, Devoted Love Interests, Strong Love Interests, Younger Love Interests, Slaves, Demons, Royalty, Fairies, ?????, ?????, Beastkin, Beast Companions, ?????, ?????, ?????, Mind Reading (Updated- June 29th, 2018) Cover art drawn by me.
8 79Conflicted Feelings
What does it mean to be loved? What does it mean to be their parents’ everything? What does it mean to be someone’s home? Erminae didn’t really know. It wasn’t for the lack of trying. But, she thought with envy, wasn’t it just what Vicenzio had? She saw her mother’s indifference, saw her father’s unresponsiveness. Whoever she tried hard to get close to the result was the same. She was but air for them. She saw that woman came in with her son. She saw him get what she always desired. Her jealousy turned her into another person, an ugly one, blinding her to other possibilities. And ultimately, she understood, what she was searching for she would never get. This was when she finally learned to let go… _________________ First part finished
8 66Moon child
conversations with the moon: a poetry collection
8 174Am I Really Fine?
just some inner thoughts. And poetries written by meTRIGGER WARNING:IF YOU'RE DEPRESSED OR SUICIDAL SOME CHAPTERS MIGHT BE DISTURBINGDon't give upA/n:excuse me for my English
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