Duncan and I made our way out to the castle gate to meet with the rest of the group, who were already waiting for us as we were the last to arrive. Max was also there to wish us goodbye and good luck on our journey. Unless you were Chad, as I’m fairly sure I heard a recommendation that he should fall off his horse into a steaming pile of dung. He still seemed pretty pissed about Chad’s treatment of me after my transformation.

I waited until Max was finished with all his goodbyes and then he approached me. I had been working up the courage for this since the training hall, and I mustered all I had to give him a huge hug.

I held back grateful tears and whispered, “Thank you.”

Like Ash, he was now taller than me, where before we had stood eye to eye, and now I was able to easily bury my face in his firm chest. Goddess, he smelled so good.

He held me tightly and returned the embrace with one arm as his other hand rested on the top of my head.

“I did nothing, only what a good friend would do.” He paused before adding, “I just wish I could say the same for my brother.”

I finally released him and adjusted my glasses as I pulled away, but he held me firmly by my shoulders and looked deeply into my eyes. I blinked a few times to see if I could break his gaze, but he held fast.

“I still see you in there, you know. The you that Obarith and Chadwick think is a lie? That illusion? The hope given to you, and the rest of us, by the Goddess.”

He then tapped me on my forehead.

“She’s still in here,” he then brought his hand lower and tapped me on my chest, “but also in here.” He smiled at me as I looked back up at him. “You just have to find her again.”

I held back more tears. “I will repay you for this one day. All of this.” I gestured to myself and the dagger in my fist. “And I’m sorry about the hairpin. It was a lovely gift. Tell your mother I loved it.”

His face beamed some more, “I already have.” He also seemed to blink away some tears, then straightened up, “And I plan to march up to the temple after you leave and demand that jerk give it back! It wasn’t given to you for another to take it away!”

I smiled. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but he at least put on a good show.

He then took the dagger from me and spun me around.

“I’m surprised Duncan didn’t help you with strapping this on yet!”

I could feel some movement and a tugging around my belt, then Max stepped back, and I turned to face him again.

“There! Try it out!”

I groped behind me where I thought the weapon had been stowed until I found the handle, at a perfect position for easy access on my lower back. And he’d already positioned it correctly for my dominant hand too. I looked at him in surprise.

He shrugged, “Wasn’t hard to figure out from that swing with your sword from yesterday. Odd that you favor your left, but who am I to judge? You also like my brother!”

Before I could adamantly dispute that claim, Dorian walked over and put an arm around my shoulders.

“Come on Max, we’ve got places to go! Leave the girl be! You aren’t 18 for another couple of weeks yet, so keep your pants on and get in line!”

My mouth dropped open as I looked up at Dorian and then back at Max.

A couple of weeks?!

Max just winked back, “It’s hard to do that when they look so good on her already!” He saluted to a flustered Dorian, then bowed to me with a flourish, spun on his heels and marched off back towards the castle.

I shook my head. Maybe Kit wasn’t the one I needed to keep the closest eye on after all.

Dorian and I walked back over to where everyone was loading up. We were going to have about a dozen other soldiers with us, not including Duncan. Add in the sons from the four Houses, Ash, and myself, and we were just shy of 20. From the formation of horses, it looked like the boys, and I were to be riding in the middle of the pack, with Duncan at the lead.

A second horse had been located closer in size to the one Ash was riding, and he was looking over both when I arrived.

He looked over at me, “You ready for this Amelia? Sounds like it’s going to be a real adventure!”

I gave him a small smile, “As ready as I’ll ever be.” Butterflies were everywhere in my stomach. “You nervous?” I asked.

He shook his head, “The Goddess will look after us. I have no fear of that.”

I really wanted to share in his faith, but the last couple of days had shaken me to my core. I merely bobbed my head in acknowledgement instead.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two hours in, and my bony ass was ready to call it quits. I would have never thought horseback riding would end up being the reason I would miss my extra cushioning. We road north out of the capital and stayed on the main road towards Blackwall. Most of the ride was made in silence, with some occasional banter between the soldiers. Kit attempted to be jovial with the rest of us, but there was too much tension in the air between all the boys, and none of them wished to humor him. This resulted in him quickly resorting to practical jokes at our expense.

Julius was usually the target of his jokes, as I quickly learned was a common occurrence for the two of them. Kit enjoyed watching Julius’ serious demeanor come unglued after each prank. The first one was to glue Julius to his own saddle with an adhesive, ruining a set of robes and forcing Julius to vigorously clean the saddle before he could use it again. A second was to steal Julius’ glasses and mount them on Kit’s own horse’s head. It took him hours to find them. Finally, and my favorite, Kit smuggled horse poop in his sleeping roll for him to tear apart his belongings to find. Fortunately for Julius, he had at least wrapped it in some cloth so that it didn’t spread or stain the roll.

I learned Julius was used to having frequent wardrobe changes with Kit around and he had already brought many changes of clothes for his expected trip. By day four, he had already worn a new robe each day. He had, in turn, lit various belongings of Kit’s on fire, and he was down a couple pairs of pants as well.

Dorian took some time to fill me in on Kit and Julius’ feuding, and I finally got to learn some more about Julius. It turned out he was an accomplished mage from the very prominent college city known as Prirart. Many of the scholars at the college city studied a variety of things, but magic held the most wonder to humankind, and had a fairly large group dedicated towards uncovering it’s inner mysteries. Since I had already been exposed early on to magic through the Magos family, I had just assumed magic was commonplace in Eitania. It was surprising to learn that, while magic was found frequently enough here, the other races were the ones blessed with it’s influence, and humanity was largely left out in the cold.

All of it packaged together made Julius a quirky ally amongst our group. I found that he could channel the various elements found in nature, if only in small doses. It took him considerable concentration with additional mental and physical strain to continuously channel something larger than a single hand sized fire source or a jolt of water or lightning. Gusts of wind were generally not too challenging for him, but without more control, they didn’t have the offensive capabilities of the other resources at hand.

Still, he was one of the few scholars that chose to also dedicate their craft to learning more about their powers and was considered an odd duck in the kingdom, even amongst his peers.

In more ways than one.

I eyed each of the heirs as we rode, all but Kit bore an expression hardened and focused. There was such animosity between the four of them. They each held a rivalry with one another, but I was starting to realize that something went way deeper between them. And, for each of them, their pride was getting in the way. These were the boys… no, men who were going to be leading mankind against the problems that still threatened their existence. I could see now why the Goddess was afraid for their future. None of them were ready.

I still didn’t know what she expected me to do about it, however. All I did know was this group was a powder keg. If not for Duncan, this mission would have failed before we had even gotten off the ground. They were impulsive and reckless around each other and created further complications for the rest of us. Ash and I had our work cut out for us to try and act as a neutral party in any squabbles, and they wouldn’t even listen to me as I was now.

Was Max right? Did Amelia still exist in me, deep down? Or did I only have the confidence to be Amelia because of the Goddess’ gifts in the first place?

“What’s on your mind?”

I was shaken from my thoughts by Ash, who had maneuvered his horse a little closer to have a quiet conversation with me.

I smiled and tried to lie, “That I wish pillows for saddles had been invented before we made this trip.”

His expression didn’t change as he stared at me, seeing through my banter, “Come on, Amelia. I know when you’re thinking about something important. You’re chewing on one of your strings again, for Goddess’ sake!”

I hurriedly spit it out, “Am not!”

He smiled, but persisted, “You have to tell someone.” At that, he decided to tease a bit, “I can always invite Chadwick over and you can have a heart-to-heart with him, if you would like?”

I scoffed at his ribbing. Everyone, save me, had dropped the “Chad” moniker since his sour mood reached it’s apex after the meeting with the king. They weren’t worried about another outburst but had decided poking the bear would be more trouble than it was worth. Even Dorian.

But Ash was right. I needed to be able to confide in someone on this trip. It was either him or Duncan. And while Duncan had proved to be sensitive to what I was going through, he still didn’t understand my situation. Not in the way Ash did.

Eventually I relented, “I’m worried about everyone, Ash. You can tell that each of the boys aren’t exactly friendly with each other. There is anger and animosity a plenty. They tease each other relentlessly. None of them seem to share the same beliefs or values or… anything!”

He nodded along in agreement.

“They all come from different backgrounds, Amelia. Different beliefs. You heard Dorian on the way over here. He still holds a belief and reverence in the Goddess to some extent. But one mention of her to Chadwick and you saw how he got.” He shrugged, to add emphasis that he also didn’t know what to do.

“Each of them is from a family line of a different God of Light, with their own structure and goals. You’d think that Obarith, as the head of the Gods, would help keep everyone aligned, but it seems like the Crown is just further pushing them apart. As difficult as this hurdle appears, it was probably another reason the Goddess intervened, with you intended as her voice of reason.”

I nodded, my eyes downcast.

“Yeah, I’ve come to that conclusion already myself, thus my concern. I don’t even know how to go about uniting them, especially now that I’m not someone who they will respect. And Kit and Julius don’t know me from a hole in the ground. At least with Dorian and Chad, they supported me as Amelia. But now?”

I waved at Chad, who had meandered away from our group early on and had joined Duncan at the front, “Now Chad wishes I didn’t even exist. He sees me as an inconvenience at best, and an insult to his beliefs and dreams at worst.” I slumped in my saddle. “And the worst part is I don’t even know why I care. He’s arrogant, self-centered, and ignores the feelings of others!”

Ash mulled this over a bit. “It sounds like you both have some unresolved issues you need to air out. It may not solve anything in the short term, and I can’t speak for the prince, but you’ll probably feel better if you get whatever you’re feeling towards him off your chest.”

I sighed again. Ash was right. Chad and I couldn’t keep this tension between the two of us going. It had to stop. And I was confident that, if we could patch things up, his mood would stabilize significantly.

I noticed Ash was staring at me while I pondered everything that was just said. I gave him a wry smile and merely replied sarcastically, “Thanks, Mom.”

Ash smiled and patted me softly, “Don’t worry. I’m sure if we work together, we’ll think of something to help the others before we make it to Blackwall. Have faith.”

I smiled back at him.

If only it were that easy.

It was then I remembered I had a favor to ask him, and I tossed him my Chad doll from the festival. It was riddled with pin holes from where I had stuck it, hoping with each that the real Chad would yelp out in surprise.

“Can you do some repair work on this please?” I asked.

Ash caught the doll and stared at it with a puzzled expression.

“I just repaired this for Dorian yesterday! What happened to it between then and now?? And why do you have his Chad doll?”

At that, I burst into laughter and rode ahead, not bothering to clear up Ash’s obvious confusion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our trip to Blackwall mirrored my earlier trip to Torzoa: wake with the light and ride all day until a couple hours before sunset, then make camp. Rinse, repeat. Since we were on a main road out of the capital and towards an important location in the kingdom, our trip didn’t feel like we were tramping through the back roads like much of our journey from Bronzemead.

Every other day, there ended up being a shake up in the routine as we traveled through some small town or settlement, momentarily stopping for a short rest before starting back up again. In our haste to get to our destination, we didn’t stay anywhere long enough to really mingle with the locals or enjoy more than a quick bite to eat, but it was nice to experience some of the simpler life of the kingdom. It was good to see places like Bronzemead existed elsewhere in Monera, and it’s citizens spent their days worrying about the smaller things in life than the greater dangers and politics of the world. I found myself wondering what the Magoses were doing while Ash and I were away.

Our afternoons and nights were spent around a makeshift campsite, eating and relaxing. That is unless you were Ash or me. Duncan required me to train with my new dagger and get used to more close quarters combat. He also put me through endurance training to try and increase my stamina as much as possible. Ash chose to train alongside with us for the same reasons. Duncan had not made his sessions mandatory, but Ash had taken it upon himself to continue to train with his staff, both in combat as well as channeling his powers through it.

Like Julius, Ash could only really get the staff to react and enhance his capabilities with much physical and mental strain. He had been working at it slowly since we left Bronzemead and was able to get the staff to be more responsive than the flicker from his first attempt. But he had been pushing himself harder since my transformation, and it frequently left him with serious headaches and the occasional nosebleed. He was trying so hard for me, it was the least I could do to return the favor and try hard for him.

And I supposed I should try harder for Dorian and Chad too.

Duncan appreciated the extra training assistance Ash was offering, as it would give me an opponent that we could trust and who wouldn’t make my training harder than it had to be.

In my new state, it was already tougher than it had ever been.

One of the first things that I noticed when we started was that I was so much slower than before. My physical reaction time, limbs reacting to my requests for immediate movement, my speed. Everything felt like moving through molasses. This was made further infuriating when the clothing and weapon choices Duncan and I had decided on were designed to allow me to be faster and take advantage of slower opponents. Ash had convinced Duncan that I had gone through pretty strenuous hand-to-hand combat training, and so Duncan had the two of us start there.

That lasted an afternoon.

Ash’s training over the past few months with his sister, and then Chad and Dorian, had increased his strength as well, and I was no match for him. He still wasn’t as good as Noelle with regards to his technique, but he was now stronger and bigger than me. Add in my slower speed, and I failed to strike him or get him on the ground even once while he was able to easily throw me around like a rag doll.

I became very self-conscious about my loss of ability to defend myself without a real weapon, and I began to throw myself into my dagger training.

Not that it ended up making much difference.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was late on a swing from Ash, and was tripped to fall on my back, yet again. I slapped the ground in frustration and grit my teeth. Duncan knew that, as Amy, training with Chad, Dorian, or any of the other experienced men in our group would be far too challenging for me. It was believed that I would at least be able to keep up with Ash.

“‘Cause that’s working so well…” I muttered, as I got up off the ground.

To his credit, with all the training he had been getting, he was getting better with the staff. His attacking and reacting had been getting faster and he was making fewer mistakes, which was great for him! Not so great for me. I still don’t think he could have beaten any of the boys in a fight, but in my current physically limited state, he was more than a match for me.

He wiped some sweat off his brow with the back of his forearm and extended a hand to help me up. He was shirtless and covered in sweat. Summer was around the corner and the days were getting hotter, not cooling down until the sun had long set. I had removed my hoodie, per my agreement with Duncan, but had no further layers I was willing to lose and was dripping with sweat in my full leathers.

I desperately missed air conditioning.

Duncan was shaking his head, “It is imperative that you are able to read and predict your opponent when close combat is your only option,” he waved at Ash’s staff, “especially when they have reach on you.”

Yet another reason Duncan was pleased with Ash’s participation. Sparring against someone with a staff while I just held a dagger had been a challenging prospect. Duncan was skilled with just about every weapon I had seen him pick up, including Minerva. He had asked permission to wield her in my stead, so he could test her upgraded mechanisms. But he wanted me to spar with someone at my perceived skill level.

I shook my head to myself at Duncan’s admonishing. Reading Ash hadn’t been the problem. I had learned enough from Dorian and Chad months ago that I was past that stage of my training. After some threatening from Duncan, Kit had even given a couple of demonstrations with dagger combat on the first day. My main struggle was having the speed to react to what I knew an opponent was doing was the hurdle. I just wished I wasn’t so slow.

I was regretting every gym class I had ever skipped as I sighed and got into position again, reverse grip on Lily. Taking the offensive, I rushed at him in a manner that an onlooker probably mistook for a slow jog, and grabbed for his staff with one hand while attempting to kick out at his knee. In response, he swung the staff away easily, twirled the end up to knock the dagger from my hand, and then brought the head up to clock me in the back of my neck.

I fell forward on my hands and knees, disarmed. I stared at the ground angrily and dug my empty fingers into the dirt.

Duncan rubbed his chin, “I’m not sure how to further teach you. You seem to understand the basics, you just lack the speed to take advantage of them. It looks like the remainder of our training until we reach Blackwall should be in an attempt to increase your agility as best we can. It pains me to do this, but I think we need to start a walking schedule during the day.”

I picked myself up and dusted off my clothes. As exhausted as the thought of walking or running instead of riding horseback was, at least my ass would get a rest.

“Both of you clean yourselves up and then it’s time for dinner.”

“I hope Dorian managed to find something other than squirrel again,” Ash mused. “Regardless of your jests, it does not taste like chicken!”