August 18, 2021

“How are you feeling?” Aphrodite asked and Iona snorted a small laugh as she came out to join her on the porch.

“Perfectly fine, actually,” she admitted. “I realized a lot of things after I decided to lay down and relax last night.”

“Like?”

“First of all, when my partner’s spirit showed up, there was no denying his presence. His presence was as almost as strong as Ares,” she said. “I know I have that in me, but he’s the only one who can make me feel vulnerable like that and like it. I had absolutely zero intent when it came to showing that part of myself on the internet but, apparently, he needed to see it. Now that I know he’s really listening and that it’s not my imagination, I can tuck that little aspect away and keep it safe for him and him alone.”

“Do you understand now that the two of you, while speaking as spirits, aren’t exactly communicating in synchronized time?” Aphrodite asked.

“Yes,” Iona admitted easily. “Everything I do in the moment will translate to him when he needs it to reinforce that this is real and direct him to make contact with me. Granted, by the time he gets to this page it should be a neon fucking sign, but he’s about as dense as I am at times and it, apparently, took me exposing an extremely private part of me to get his attention.”

“I’m well aware,” Aphrodite said and Iona chuckled.

“But, as soon as I realized who it is he is with, her character, I immediately backed off,” she said, relaxing a little. “Noped the hell out, recalled all aspects of my spirit, and send all fragments and aspects I have collected throughout space and time, bathed in love and gratitude for the loan, back to their rightful vessels. I am myself and no one can reflect me without my permission and I will never reflect anyone else ever again. I am myself and no one else. I took that vulnerable, Love Drunk idiot that he found in me and tucked it back in, to keep safe for whenever we meet again. That way he can have fun trying to coax it back out again. Until then all anyone will see again is the crotchety, cranky, anti-social hermit who hates dealing with people,” she said with a chuckle. “I know I can be an open, fun-loving person when I can relax around people I love and trust. But I’m not very trusting regularly, so I tend to stay in work-mode, which is a hardass who doesn’t take excuses and has a stack of Hurt Feelings Reports for people to fill out when they start acting like butt-sore children who think I don’t give a fuck. And I like the me that comes out when it’s time to get shit done instead of pining for him, which is why I have no issues with the silence.”

“Yes, but if you had decided to just forge ahead, without exposing that aspect, it would take years, if not decades for the two of you to link up,” Aphrodite said and Iona took a deep breath, held it for a moment, and then let it out.

“I know,” she admitted easily. “Just like I know the nature of our personal relationship doesn’t really matter to anyone else in this instance. Our mission is to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that magic is real and at play in the current physical world. We find proof and present it, let the skeptics have at it, and all the while the believers are paying attention. The believers will be the ones to actually listen to me when I tell them that I know what is going on in the universe. The reason I need him is that, without him, I am about as effective as that weirdo on the corner holding a sign that says ‘Don’t Panic’ instead of ‘The End is Nigh.’ With him, I have at least one person that I can get reassurance from so I don’t lose my grip on reality dealing with downloads from the universe pretty much on the hour to give me an update. The spirits are well aware of what’s going on in the world of man, they have been working from their side to rebuild the bridges. I, personally, don’t have to do a damned thing, it’s going to happen whether I am involved or not. I, like quite a few individuals, am here to basically wave the flags on the runway and let everyone know it’s going to be ok.”

“My question is, how are the two of you going to prove magic exists if you are both ‘average people’,” the goddess asked.

“I don’t know. Experimentation?” she asked raising an eyebrow at Aphrodite. “Gaining clout in the magical community?” she added with a shrug. “I really don’t like making videos on TikTok, but I can if that’s what’s needed. Truth be told, the only reason I still have any social media is because of a couple of friends that use it to talk to me because they don’t have Discord. And my partner. Fuck, if it wasn’t for him, I would delete all of my social media, as well as my stories. I was actually relieved when I saw that I had a .5 rating on this one. Hide the magical community’s sit-rep and a love letter to my partner in plain sight as a shitty fiction, that way the only people who see it are the people that need to.”

“You really would just vanish into the ether if you could,” Aphrodite said and she nodded without hesitation.

“I’m a Silver, not a Gold,” she said firmly, yet gently as she could. “And, I proud of being a Silver, so I don’t see why people think I should be striving for Gold. The Golds have to deal with a completely different set of fears and anxieties. That’s why Golds tend to be paranoid about appearance and reputation. They are the ones that are meant to capture and hold the attention of humans. Silvers only have to worry about the wellbeing of their Gold and any projects the gods decided to tap them for. Being his Emotional Support Shadow and the Phantom of his Opera, forever hidden from the light and completely unknown aside from him, sounds like Elysium to me. And, it’s not out of fear. But cutting off all of the social media aspects, I clear up my to-do list exponentially. All that’s left at that point are real-world projects to work on that don’t require exposure to make progress. And the first thing on that list, as much as I’m dreading it, is going back to pretending to be human. I have GOT to get some kind of income coming in so I can start paying off my debts before my partner tunes in.”

“You don’t think he’d help you out with that?” she asked.

“I know he would if he was in a position to do it,” she said. “Giving and receiving gifts is one of his Love Languages. I Penguin Pebble and give little gifts, which makes him all giddy inside even if he doesn’t show it and he is a kind, generous man who feels good giving when he has the means. But receiving gifts makes me feel uncomfortable because, in the past, it always came with guilt and strings. I would much rather pay for myself if I can. I’m not too proud to turn down help when I need it and it wouldn’t hurt the person offering to do so. But I’m after his brain, not his wallet. And, if I don’t have to worry about sitting down and typing out my diary transcripts every day, that frees up A LOT of time. And, lately, that only one I talk to in those entries is him, so I’d really rather keep that private. When I talk to you guys, it’s work. When I talk to him, it’s healing and relaxing, recuperating from the overwhelming nature of having God Brain, and being present in the moment to enjoy being in a Meat Suit of my own.”

Aphrodite paused and took a breath and Iona wished she could squeeze her hand more than just imagining the action. She knew what the frustration was, especially with The Inspection looming on the calendar. Oct 6, 2021, Pluto’s retrograde comes back around in the 225th year of America’s History. That meant Hades was going to be coming through to give the last inspection of the systems the humans had built to govern themselves. When the original bridges Astraea and Heosphoros built during their time alive as humans (spiritual bridges, not physical ones) were destroyed, it was to allow the humans to govern themselves and mature, make discoveries in science and technology, so on and so forth. The mixed feelings of the humans regarding the events of the past were to be expected, but the past was in the past. Changes were brewing for the entirety of the human race in a way that would be undeniable, even for the skeptics. The increase in natural disasters linked to old lore that had been neglected or abandoned was just the start. Proving magic existed was just to try and save as many people from the shock and devastation that would follow as possible. Presenting evidence that there are mystic forces at play in the universe would open a lot of minds very rapidly. Opening minds to new ideas, new possibilities, and creative solutions would help ease the transition into a new reality where the gods once again walked beside the humans to guide and aid wherever they could.

Building bridges in a spiritual sense just meant identifying spirits and making their charges aware of their presence when they couldn’t do it themselves. Pointing people in the right direction towards lore and practices that would help them strengthen their bonds and allow for clearer communication. Shadow Work was the first step, to recall and accept all aspects of the spirit to be clear-headed and present in the moment when the spirits connect. Doing it herself and knowing the only permanent connection she had was to her partner was incredibly freeing and made her feel like she wasn’t losing her mind or spinning out on conspiracy theories. She could FEEL the difference between when she was talking to a spiritual entity and when she was just musing in her own thoughts. But, as it stood, there wasn’t much she could do to help others, simply due to her lack of credentials and exposure. She knew it would be an uphill battle, had written the short story about the aftereffects of the shift years prior, and saw the apocalyptic scenario that would follow. But she also knew that it would work out in the end. Life would continue, a bit battered and limping, but it would usher in a new age of man where magic and technology were blended and a part of everyday life. All she could do in the meantime would be to try and minimize whatever damage she could and ease the transition.

“What I find funny and, at the same time not, is that my partner is so focused on the human aspect of our relationship that he’s neglecting to realize that our Happily Ever After isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning,” Iona said, taking a deep breath and shaking her head. “Sure, our story has a serious streak of romance, primarily because we’ve already spiritually joined a few times, but it’s not a fairytale. It’s an adventure. New horizons and places to explore with a companion that feels custom-built for him when, really, it’s just his spirit remembering our history. He and I have never physically joined, and we don’t have to in this lifetime, nor do we have to in any future ones. But we do need to walk this path together if we are going to achieve our primary directive.”

“And, if he backs out?” Aphrodite asked.

“He won’t,” she assured her. “He’ll have a few thousand existential crisis moments between now and then, probably have a few days of being jittery and overstimulated spiritually, but in the end, he’ll listen. He always does. He’s the most reliable and trustworthy individual I have ever met, which is saying something on a comic fucking scale. And a part of him is excited by the prospect of going down in history as a hero just by being his own glorious self. He doesn’t have to come charging in on a noble steady, slaying dragons and all that jazz. He just has to continue doing what he’s been doing with the awareness of his spirit having an impact and influence on those that are exposed to it, and make choices based on that knowledge. I can help him see it because I am hard-wired to see the ripple effects of everyday actions. But I will never be the one calling the shots as far as he’s concerned. In that, he’s the one that’s in charge. I don’t tell him how to do his job, he doesn’t tell me how to do mine. That’s always been the deal. That’s why it would take magic for us to finally link up. He and I come from two different worlds in pretty much every way imaginable. Including exposure. I had to explain to him last night that all I am doing by posting on the internet is hopping up and down, screaming and hollering to get his attention long enough to yell, ‘I’m right fucking here.’ Once he makes solid contact in the physical world to indicate that he’s on the same page, I’m deleting it all. If anyone wants to try and dig up dirt on me, they are welcome to. All they are going to do is stir up a hornet's nest of toxic, nefarious characters. Most of which are protective of me except two that are blood relatives. Everyone else are just assholes and sadists that love being petty as fuck and make bullying bullies their hobby.”

“I thought you went cold-turkey with toxicity,” Aphrodite pointed out.

“I did. In my own thoughts and actions,” she said. “But I love and accept everyone who has earned my respect, regardless of their mentality and background. If they want to change and come to me for help, I have no issues coaching and gently educating them, but they have to be willing to do the work. If they're not, that’s their deal. Doesn’t change the fact that they’re still my friend and I love them. The only thing that could shake my faith and loyalty in them is total, outright, knowing betrayal. Even then, if they can help me see why they did it, I can forgive them, even if I can’t trust them not to do it again. They just have to understand why I keep them at a distance after that happens.”

“You’re not worried about how their behavior will reflect onto you?” she asked.

“Nope,” she said easily, letting the consonant pop. “First of all, I’m not a public figure. Second, they are accountable for their own actions, they are all adults and can deal with the consequences themselves. Third, if anyone tries to chide me for loving the monsters and the broken, that is a blatant display of their ignorance and I do not have the time or the patience to give my attention to the willfully ignorant just to soothe their overinflated egos. I know, in this day and age, there’s such thing as Cancel Culture, which, to me, is fucking bullshit. One mistake, one thing is done, one misplaced association and the internet decides that want to erase you, end your career, end your life, all but murder you as a result. But that entire section of humanity belongs to the pool of toxicity that I happily ignore every day. When someone does something that displays ignorant behavior, I immediately ask myself if they knew what they were doing when they did it. Blatant displays of hate, there’s no question. But misrepresentation and things like cultural appropriation? Sometimes, the individual is, at their core, a good person and has just been insulated and kept ignorant their whole life. They need to be calmly and gently educated as to why their behavior is inappropriate. Clue them in to the damage caused by colonialization in the form of the loss of a lot of rich histories, traditions, and cultures, as well as systemic racism. If they take a step back and realize what they did and apologize, sincerely, it needs to be taken for what it is instead of blowing it out of proportion. Especially if they correct their own behavior in the future instead of throwing a tantrum of ‘oh, woe is me, nobody likes me, everybody hates me, might as well go eat worms.’ You fucked up, get over it. Do better.”

“Alright,” Aphrodite said, shifting in her seat and crossing her arms in a challenge, “what if some calls you a racist?”

“Heh,” Iona responded with a snort. “Ok, how am I racist? What did I do exactly that has led you to believe I give any kind of fuck about the Meat Suit’s genetics and origins outside of acknowledging your history and respecting your ancestral background? If it’s because my Meat Suit happens to be so pale, I glow in the dark, that sounds like a you-problem. If I did something without realizing it, I will immediately apologize and take the steps to correct it once I am made aware, including making reparations within reason. But I also understand that, when it comes to historical racism, the spiritual debt that is owed is entirely too high for a single person to make right in one action or even a single lifetime. I’m not saying forgive and forget like it never happened. It’s a debt that still needs to be paid. But all I can do is try to break those cycles of violence and hate within my own life as I support the movement towards equality and solid, positive change. If someone comes at me spitting hatred because our Meat Suits have historical beef, I will invite them to get it out of their system. Target me with your hate, get it all out if you can, and I will soak up that negativity with a smile because with every drop of it I get, I can filter and give back in pure love. I’ll even hug them afterward if they want it and need it. I’m a Daemon, I can take it. And helping them heal makes me feel better.”

Aphrodite just shook her head.

“What?” Iona asked.

“Sometimes, I wish you were the Golden,” she said.

“There’s a reason I’m not,” she pointed out. “I am too cold and callous when it comes to navigating the world of the humans. If I were the Golden in this partnership, I would become a tyrant and I know it. I would get so sick and tired of fighting with people who didn’t want to open their eyes and see the truth that I would take their choices away from them until they earned my respect. That’s why my partner is the only one that can bring out my vulnerability at will, so he can call me to heel like he did last night when I crossed a boundary that I shouldn’t have in regards to Free Will.”

Again, Aphrodite just sat back and shook her head in silence.

“I know,” Iona said with a sigh. “The ‘hurry up and wait’ bullshit gets really annoying sometimes for me, too. I’m excited to get started, too, and I know we’re just waiting for him, but you’re only feeling the crunch because the clock’s ticking, and the spirits have been working on this for so long. How about we do something else, something a lot more enjoyable than stewing in our own impatience?”

“I just wish you’d let me tell you who he is,” Aphrodite said and Iona snorted a laugh as she shook her head. “Why not?”

“Because I am impatient,” she said. “If I hone in on a singular person, I will end up driving them mad. Totally bonkers, questioning their reality until they realize there’s more to this world than meets the eye. On the flip side of that, if he is as awake as I think he is, I may end up fucking up his plans. As long as I stay blind to who he is in his human life, he can take care of his personal life quietly and privately before reaching out to see if and when I want to meet up, maybe go get coffee so we can talk some shit out. And I know he and I are going to have a lot to say to each other when we do. Besides, I kind of like the idea of being surprised. It doesn’t happen very often.”

“Yes, but knowing who he is might help you prepare for what’s about to happen,” the goddess said. “As soon as he catches on, the change with be swift and unstoppable.”

“I’m well aware,” she said. “I’ve been getting the Chariot, the Fool, and the Eight of Wands on repeat since I decided to give in and start writing for him instead of a general audience. Really all I’m doing now is letting him know I am fine by myself and have no issues waiting. I never did. Granted, since my last and only real fear left is that I will be nothing to him, I understand why the gods decided to push me into doing it in the first place. Being as I am the nobody in the equation, it was up to me to prove my merit and actually take action towards reconnecting because, otherwise, he would never see me. I would always be a part of the crowd and, if I ever did try to just walk up to him and tell him the truth, he’d see me as a stark raving lunatic. He has to find it for himself. He has to believe it for himself.”

“Yes, but he is DENSE,” Aphrodite said and Iona laughed again, smiling as she nodded.

“Believe me, I am well aware of how thick-headed that man can be. He has to be to keep up with me,” she said. “If he has gotten this far in the narrative of my writing and still hasn’t reached out, he’s going to end up getting repeated bitch-slaps from the universe. I just hope it won’t take a near-death experience to wake him up.”

“Please?” Aphrodite asked.

“You just want to play Guess Who,” Iona pointed out and just got a look. “Fine,” she said with a sigh. “Looking at it objectively only,” she said firmly. “This is not a shopping list for potential candidates because the last thing I need is to feel like the Bachelorette. I only want one and that’s him.”

“That’s fine,” Aphrodite said and Iona got the impression she was just happy Iona was trying.

“Ok, well,” she said, chewing the inside of her cheek as she thought back through what she’d written and learned about him as well as the way Daemons operate. “I can see why you keep trying to drop hints that he’s not you ‘average’ person, but I come from the side of the spectrum where I really have nothing to offer him as far as benefits within the Material World. Which is why, when I see him, I see The World and when he sees me, he sees the Ten of Swords.”

“Based on that,” Aphrodite said, “did it ever occur to you that just the two of you reconnecting to chat would be the extent of the proof that magic is real?”

“What that we are such worlds apart, that it would take magic just to pull it off?” she asked and Aphrodite nodded. “Oh, wow, ok,” she added as she tried to digest that information. “Now, see, my first thought went straight to the absurd scenario where he was some kind of foreign royalty or some shit that lives his life entirely in the public eye, but I know that’s not it.”

“You did say he was a King,” Aphrodite pointed out.

“In other words, he’s someone I have no issues kneeling to,” she said. “I bow to no one so, when I kneel, it’s because they fucking earned it. Besides, even though I thought he said Rumsfeld or whatever, which sounds kind of German-ish, I heard New Jersey loud and clear, so I know he’s not royalty. On top of that, I am very protective of what little privacy I do get, so I wouldn’t be able to handle always being on display twenty-four seven. Although, going by my previous writing and the fact that he’s literally the son of a Red Dragon, plus his issues with vampire representation, not vampires as a whole just their representation, because he didn’t mind being a vampire, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if he shared some kind of ancestry with Vlad Tepes. The Copper he’s got with him tells me that the other side of the ancestry, or at the very least one of the places he’s lived, has ties to Norse Germanic culture. Add that to his pride and he’s probably a Leo or at least has Leo heavily represented in his Natal Chart. I know he and I are close to the same age because we made the shift to humanity right around the same time. He went first, but it wasn’t by much. But that doesn’t exactly narrow it down when you take into account the seven and half billion people on the planet. That’s why I need him to see himself in the narrative and actually say, ‘yeah, that’s me.’ And, if he is some kind of public figure, then I’m really not worried about the romance aspect because I’d be punching well above my weight class on that one and I know it. That’s a fucking pipe dream if I’ve ever heard it. That’s why I can’t see that being the case.”

“Unless magic was involved,” Aphrodite pointed out with an almost gotcha expression.

“Except come to me gently and of your own free will is the only love spell that should have ever been written, because that’s the only way you’ll ever know that it’s real,” she countered. “Everything else is just glamor and control magic. On top of that, it wouldn’t work because he’s stronger than I am. He’s naturally resistant to control and he can see through a lot of bullshit. Chances are, he’s a man who has done well in his chosen career, is seen as the kind, caring, humanitarian he is, and keeps his spiritualism to himself except for a few close friends that know how to keep their mouths shut about the weird and absurd. If I am the Big Titty Goth Girlfriend of his Nightmares, he’s the Dark Prince of my Dreams. But, with his constant underlying fear of being viewed as squeaky clean and celebrated, he wouldn’t link himself to me in any way publicly, and that’s ok. It just means fewer eyes on me while I’m working.”

“Your refusal to be in the spotlight and his fear of tarnishing his image by association are going to be what makes or breaks this whole thing,” Aphrodite said bluntly.

“Then, let’s just hope Deimos and Phobos know how to help him,” Iona said. “I have all but done naked handstands, spread eagle, on the internet to try and get his attention. I feel foolish and exposed in a way I never wanted by putting in writing what I am like when he’s around and actually posting it. Now, it’s his turn to play sacrifice on the altar of dignity, and all he has to do is send me a private message.”

“You’re thinking about deleting everything again, aren’t you?” Aphrodite asked.

“Yes,” Iona admitted. “Writing takes up too much of my time as it is. When you and I sat down this past New Moon and started hammering out the details of my personal Elysium on Earth, he was just the cherry on top of an amazing life. It’ll take me longer to achieve without his assistance, but it’s not impossible. That is the path that I am walking. That is the goal I intend to achieve. It’s up to him whether or not he wants in on the projects. I’ll give him until The Inspection and then everything I’ve posted thus far and to that point is going to get deleted. Including my social media. I’ll keep Instagram because that’s how I talk to Mae and the guy who agreed to do the illustrations for the webcomic idea while I write the scripts. But, writing my diary out for my partner, writing the webcomic for Astraea, writing the children’s stories for Hades to introduce them to the concept of spiritualism and mortality in a way that isn’t traumatizing, writing the reimagining and new mythos for the entire Pantheon, building a theater in which to house them, which is a metric fuck ton of work by itself, trying to find a way to make low-budget horror films for the Twins as well as Hekate with better Boy Witch representation and good information without being preachy, the charity events sponsored by the gods, which really just means I have to fund it myself and give the profits to charity... Plus, the fuckin’ info dumps from the universe I get regularly. It is entirely too much for one being to do on their own; I don’t have enough hands, time, or energy for it. So, I have to start cutting the projects that are self-serving and wasteful. I love him, but I have shit to do. Maybe, someday, if he doesn’t get over his fear before then, he’ll see me being successful and finally decide I’m worthy of his attention when I know I already am. Granted I might be a bit resentful about the fact that I would have spent however many years waiting around for him only to find that I had to be able to offer more than just my love for him to deem me worthy, so I doubt romance and intimacy would ever happen again, but I have no issues with him helping wherever he can at that point.”

“You’re getting annoyed,” she pointed out.

“I’m feeling exposed and I don’t like it,” she said. “As far as I am concerned, I would rather be a hermit and tell the rest of the world to go fuck themselves. Including my partner, if he’s really that shallow. I know he and I aren’t speaking in real-time, but I know the way the gods operate. You are waiting for me to either have some sort of epiphany or had put in enough time, effort, energy, and intent to pack a mean punch before you start really trying to break through to him. With how strongly I felt his presence last night, I think I’ve done enough. I have an infinite amount of patience for the people I love, especially in regards to getting their shit together. But after a while, it gets to the point where it becomes obvious they don’t want to get it together, at which point they become dead weight. I will welcome them with open arms and forgive them for taking so long if they finally show, but I cannot wait for them. I have to keep moving forward or risk laying down beside them and giving up. If it was just me and him, that would be a huge risk. Thankfully, I can step back and see that it’s about more than just our relationship so I have a reason to keep going when he’s absent,” she said, taking a deep breath and letting it go. “I’m not annoyed. I’m overwhelmed, lonely, and exhausted. I miss my partner and I’m tired of feeling stuck. But I’m also a realist and know I can’t bet on him to magically appear and make it all better. Even if he has the ability to do so.”

Iona stopped and let out a long, tired breath as she looked at her phone to check the time. Her sleeping schedule had gotten all kinds of fucked up over the last few weeks and she needed to fix it.

“Case and point,” she said with a sigh. “Just sitting down with you to write all this out has eaten up five hours of my day. I would rather just have you keeping me company and look like I’m talking to myself than have to be chained to my desk all day every day,” she explained more gently. “Hell, when I put my headphones on and listen to music when I do it, it just looks like I’m on the phone. But I also know that the gods are not omnipresent, nor are they omnipotent. You have other followers to take care of. You have other projects in the works. I realized last night how much time I tend to dominate and, honestly, I was alright with the silence. I still am.”

“Just promise me you won’t shut us out again,” she said.

“I won’t,” Iona promised. “You’re my family and I love you. I will bust my ass from now until I am, once again, standing beside Hades at the end of this life, then lather, rinse, and repeat. If I need your help or your guidance, I will call on you in a heartbeat. But, for now, I’m going to go find something to eat, take a shower, and actually take care of my human responsibilities for a while. Let the dust settle in the wake of so many epiphanies and weirdness before it all starts back up again. Go bug the shit out of him for a bit,” she added with a chuckle.

“Oh, I plan on it,” Aphrodite said with a determined expression.

“Poor bastard,” Iona said with a snort. “Give him my love when you see him.”

“I will,” she said and dropped a kiss to Iona’s forehead, making her skin tingle, before she vanished.