“What do I do now?” He helplessly cried out to the cushions. Slumped over the couch, he thought back to the fight he had with them for the thousandth time. Instinctively, his fingers ran over the injured area, which stung from touch. On the day itself, he desperately used a third of the toilet roll available in the restroom to bandage it up. The red line travelled across the length of his arm, stopping an inch before his elbow. It felt like fire, and the tissues soaked red a little, which scared him to death. Did he need to go to the emergency room? Was the cut deep enough that stitching is required?

With most of the clot formed along the line, Sam rested easy knowing it would heal with time, but the issue of his two beloved friends leaving him behind remains unsolved. Nothing would recover, he burnt the bridge to ashes and then flushed the ashes away down a bottomless pit; there’s nothing left.

He looked at Joe, who sat on the floor with back hunched, engrossed in his books. He brought Joe to the library every weekend and borrowed him a new book, which cost them nothing. Joe had now expanded his tastes from zombies to aliens.

Without Sonia and Honey, he would be truly alone, like what Honey always feared. He can’t go another second thinking about how much they resented him. He needed to make amends, even if he didn’t know how.

**

Pulling out a precious ten-dollar note from his wallet, he bought a coffee for himself and a slice of cake for Joe. He felt a sting when passing the precious note to the cashier, and watched her seal it in the register forever. Only a dollar coin returned.

The cafe was deserted this early hour of day, and he sat by the entrance patiently waiting for her. The waitresses offered him a smile everytime she passed by, mopping the tables around him. If Sonia plays ball, it would be the first time Joe has met her. Expecting disaster, he debriefed Joe on his gloomy friend.

“Joe… so you’re gonna meet Sonia for the first time.”

“Yay!”

“If she gets angry, just…” He looks around, thinking on his feet.

Before his next idea came to mind, the bells chimed, indicating another customer. The waitress tended to her, but she politely shunned her away, and sat down.

“So… why’d you call me here? What do you want?” She crossed her arms. Her face looked more presentable than usual.

“To apologise.”

“Hi!” Joe announced.

“Hi.” Sonia dismissed. Sam placed a finger over his lip, signalling to Joe to stay quiet.

“Sorry, I can’t just leave him home.” He said.

“And your parents are working?”

He nodded.

“Ok. So get to it. What do you wanna apologise for?”

“I’m sorry… for pushing you… and trying to destroy the set.”

“Mhm.”

“And I’m sorry if I scared you.”

“If?”

“I didn’t know you were scared until I saw you behind Honey. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Mhm. Is that it?”

He shrugged, what else is there to do? “Yeah, that’s all I wanted to say.”

“Ok, then bye.” She stood up.

“Wait- wait.”

She sat back down.

“Can we at least just have breakfast here?”

“Why? You have nothing left to say right?”

“I know, but-”

“So why do you still want me to stay here? You don’t even like being around me.”

“That’s not true!”

She raised an eyebrow.

“You’re my friend.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, why would you-” It surprised him that he somehow forgot about it for a second, “Right, but… you are my friend.”

“Am I?”

“Yes, I swear.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why am I your friend? Why do you wanna be friends with me?”

“What do you mean why? We built the film club together!”

“What about Honey?”

“Yeah, her too. You’ve been there since day one, we helped her move.”

“Ok, and why did you do all of that?”

“I don’t- What do you want me to say?”

“Don’t you hate me?”

“No I don’t… Well not anymore.”

“Then how do you feel about me now?”

He took a sip of a coffee to stall. What was she trying to do? “I want to be friends again. Like we used to.”

“And what does that mean?”

“Like… when we used to have lunch… and you would read people’s minds.”

“Why do you think we don’t do that anymore?”

“Because you got- I mean- because I started to judge you.”

“And why did you start judging me?”

“You started to become mean!” It slipped out. Was he trying to shoot himself in the foot? “And I… started to become… like… I stopped thinking about you- like… like-”

“Proud?”

“Yeah, I became… proud.” It reminded him of his Dad and his Uncle, which made her words more potent than intended.

“So are you here to listen to me now?”

“Yeah, I- yeah, ok.”

She shifted a little in his seat, and ordered a cup of tea. “I don’t like coffee.”

“Uh… ok.” Was he supposed to memorize this?

She continued squirming around in her chair. “This chair is…” She rocked back and forth, which sparked Joe to follow along. She got up, pushed the chair to the side, and pulled another chair to replace it. “Uneven.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Um… ok.” He played with his thumbs, unsure of what to say or do next.

“Look… Sam… What you did really hurt us. Honey especially.”

“I know-”

“Do you?”

“Well… I-”

“It’s not a rhetorical question. Do you know how much you hurt her?”

Should he answer honestly?

“In your own words, I can read your mind, so don’t even lie to me.”

“Ok… then no. I don’t know exactly.”

“There’s a reason why she doesn’t have any friends besides us two, despite being the prettiest girl alive.”

“What?” He had to recalibrate for a second when he heard a compliment slip out from her mouth.

“Oh yeah. We’re together now.”

“Oh, oh… Oh? Oh!” Each ‘oh’ conveyed a different emotion; confusion, disappointment, more confusion, shock. “Oh!” Congratulatory.

For the first time in his life, he saw Sonia smile.

“How did that happen?” He asked.

“Well… it was always there… we just finally… decided to see what was in front of us all along.”

“Wow, that’s amazing.”

“Really? You really think I’m a good fit for her?” Was that question sarcastic or genuine?

“Well… better than me… or any of her exes.”

“Thanks.” Sonia checked her phone and looked out for a moment.

“I’m full!” Joe suddenly yelled, pushing an empty plate towards him.

“Ok, go wash your hands.”

Joe slid off the chair and ran to the sink.

“How old is he?” Sonia asked.

“Five.”

“You treat him pretty well.”

“Yeah…”

“You want someone to treat you the same way, don’t you?”

“I- uh-” Her sixth sense went off again. “Sure.”

They left the restaurant and headed for the shore once Joe returned. Joe immediately charged into a wave before Sam could object, dirtying his only clothes. The two sat by the shore, watching him duel against saltwater with his tiny fists. He drilled a finger into the sand, watching the flat terrain crumble upon touch.

They said nothing for a long time, simply existing next to each other. He looked at Sonia, and judging from her expressions, could tell she enjoyed sitting here. Sonia and Honey’s relationship weighed on him, reminding him of his isolation. It felt like one final kick from the cruel mistress of fate, taunting him with the one thing he wanted most, but he knew better now than to blame Sonia for it. No one’s at fault for how fate treats him.

“Raft released yesterday. Episode one of five.”

“What?”

“Erin made it a mini-series. Episode one is out. Now they’re all scrambling to hold a premiere like last time.”

“Oh, cool.”

“Do you like filmmaking, Sam?” The question felt oddly jagged.

“Well… not anymore.”

“Did you ever like it to begin with? Or was it really just a means to an end?”

“Probably…”

Sonia shook her head. “You’re so freaking desperate man.”

“Ha-ha, what?”

“You’re so desperate to catch up to everyone else.”

“I… I guess?”

“To your cousins especially, right? I remember you talking about them once.”

“Woah, you remember that? That was so long ago.”

She shrugged. “How are they?”

“Fine… as always.”

“You know Honey came from a rich family, and look how all of that turned out?”

“I know, I know, money is the root of all evil and corruption and being entitled blah-blah-blah, I know… but if I was rich I wouldn’t be like that.”

Sonia laughed.

“What?” It hit him again, and he wondered how he forgot about it again. “Right.”

“Look!” Joe yelled, holding something small in his hand. The figure moved slightly, revealing cute button eyes underneath its shell. “It’s a hermit crab!”

“Yes, well done. Put it down Joe.” Sam advised.

Joe ran back to the waves for a rematch.

“You’ll be successful Sam, I trust you.” Her words pumped adrenaline within him.

He chuckled dismissively, “Even with… everything that puts me behind the starting line?”

“Dude, if the race is rigged, stop competing!”

“Then I lose!”

“Sam! Running isn’t the only sport you can compete in! Do you know how many sports there are in the world?”

“I guess, but-”

“You’ll find a competition that’s fair, and then you’ll win, since you’ve been racing at a disadvantage your whole life.”

“I… ok… but how am I even supposed to- ok can we move away from the metaphor this is getting confusing- what else can I even do? Everything I do… I always just… fail, and the harder I try to win the harder I lose.”

“You’re talking to the girl who failed every single test in primary school, and you dare say you’re the one who always fails? Come on man.”

“Hm…” He found it humorous. “I even failed at failing the most.”

They exchanged a few laughs.

**

The sun hung only a few inches away from them, sending a deadly laser of heat towards them. Sam shouted for Joe to leave, and they all sought refuge under a nearby tree. Joe helplessly wiped the seawater away from every part of his body, holding himself together. As hard as she tries, Sonia refuses to sit on the grass.

“Honey’s coming in ten minutes, I don’t think she’d wanna see you.”

“Wait what? Why?”

“I was gonna meet her here for something else until you called me.”

“For what?”

She looked away and blanked for a long second. “Couple stuff. You don’t have to be around to see it.”

“Aw!”

“I’ll break your jaw!”

“I want to apologise to her too.”

“She doesn’t wanna hear it.”

“But I have to-”

“It’s not about you. She doesn’t wanna hear it.”

“Can I at least try? I’ll leave if she hates me.”

Sonia prances about for a moment. “Fine, but once she tells you to leave, leave.”

“Ok, deal.”