Igor

In the village of Farsille, a boy is crossing the village square. Igor is a hard working sort and quite handsome. He has a chiseled chin, dark hair and dark thick eye brows. His build is good too. He could be a model in this world, if it were a profession. His walk is a little off though. He isn't exactly limping, but his posture is stiff. He is sticking his butt out, his upper body is straight at a 30 degree angle to his legs. His walk is mechanical, unnatural. He has a smile on his face. A smile that could mislead one into thinking that his discomfort is not real. His charming smile should be capable of charming girls of his age and adults alike. He would be quite popular, if it weren't for... We'll get there.

He crosses straight through the village on his path. The children start laughing and pointing. The adults get complicated looks on their faces when they see him. They don't talk to him and if he makes eye contact, they look away. Igor is heading for Healion, the village healer. Slowly but surely he navigates himself to the appropriate house. He waves at Nathan, who waves back and then Nathan shakes his head, when he sees Igor's posture. Again? Nathan thinks.

When Igor reaches his destination, he knocks on the door, after which the door opens. Healion looks at him, sighs and gets out of the way, not even bothering to use his left hand to guide him in. Normally when someone comes to Healion for help, he will open the door and guide them to the examination room by extending his arm towards the room with an open palm. Not now though. Now, his arm hangs flat against his body and Healion's posture is slouched as if the weight of the world is on his shoulders.

As for what happens next, it is in a way truly wonderful. Two people working together in silence towards a common goal. There is no need to talk. They both know what is expected of them. It's like a symphony where musicians perform their role and fit seamlessly together. They enter a flow, with implicit understanding paving the way.

Healion has a wooden cylinder that patients can bite down on for painful operations. He will wrap leather strips around the cylinder, which he can wash between patients. There is no need for his wooden cylinder though. You see, Igor has his own cylinder with leather straps. Igor places the cylinder in his mouth as he walks straight to the operating table. He walks confidently, with purpose. When he reaches the table, he drops his pants and bends over. He isn't wearing any underwear so his butt cheeks are in full view.

But Healion doesn't focus on Igor's butt cheeks. Instead he stares at the small, round piece of iron sticking out of Igor's anus. He sighs once again and gets to work. Healion grabs the protrusion with two hands and places his right foot on Igor's right butt cheek. He then slowly, but surely starts pulling on the protrusion while pushing down on his foot. Igor starts releasing pained grunts as the pressure on his anus increases. He knows he should relax his anus, but it hurts! So he reflexively clamps down, as if he is trying to crack open a walnut with his anus. Every now and then he manages to relax for just a little and as the iron bar jerks outward, he immediately clamps down again in reaction to the sharp burning pain he feels in his anus. Every time it happens a loud muffled grunt escapes him through his mouth, through the wooden cylinder between his teeth. At some point, the cylinder falls out of his mouth at which point he starts screaming instead. The piece of iron that's visible keeps growing, until it comes out in all of it glory. A large iron bar, covered in blood and fecal matter. An iron bar that one would not expect inside the body of a human, that should not be inside a human body, but it was. Subdued painful noises are escaping Igor, still bent over the operating table.

Healion uses a healing spell, to heal Igor's internal injuries and Igor feels a warm pleasant sensation entering his body and soothing the burning sensation in his ass. He can finally relax. This time was bad, still worth it though! After taking a few breaths to calm himself, he gets up, pulls up his pants and leaves the room. Igor! He turns and sees Healion still standing with the goo covered iron bar in his hands. This time it's Igor's turn to sigh, while looking at the piece of iron that has outlived its purpose. Healion has refused to dispose them for a while now. Healion used to be so much more accommodating, Igor thinks and he remembers how Healion used to dispose of the iron bars for him. In fact Healion used to apply healing magic throughout the entire process. It's almost like he now feels like I deserve to suffer or something? Igor had forgotten to bring something to wrap around the dirty part of the iron bar, so he quickly tears off a leaf from a plant in the waiting room and gets yelled at again. Then he wraps the leaf around the end of the iron bar not held by Healion and he leaves the building.

As Healion yells after him: Do you never learn!?! He walks off with a spring in his step. He is feeling good right now. Real good! I've got to talk to Nathan. Even though nobody else talks to me anymore, not in a good way I mean, I'm sure that Nathan will understand! He buries the iron bar at his iron bar graveyard, after which he starts skipping towards where he last saw Nathan. Whilst skipping, he thinks out loud: regardless, this was a good experience.

{ I like this guy! }

Igor finds Nathan and Naomi sitting on a bench, the both of them munching away on an apple. He waves at them and Naomi immediately scuttles away. Igor's presence is one of the few things Nathan knows, will make the stubborn Naomi immediately change what she is doing. Naomi's reaction doesn't bother Igor. He knows that not everyone has the open mindedness required to appreciate his unique perspective. But Nathan is smart, so Nathan will probably hear him out.

Igor: Nathan! I've had an epiphany!

Nathan: Oh?

Igor: *gleefully* I've discovered that I am normal!

Nathan: You are not normal, Igor. In fact you are abnormal. Very, VERY abnormal.

Igor: You know, I figured out that I am actually not different from others. You've got to let everybody know!

Nathan: Igor, you are different. You are very, very, very different. Everyone in the village thinks you're a weirdo, including me.

Igor: Don't you stick spoons and forks in your mouth?

Nathan: I don't stick them up my ass.

Igor: But I do!

Nathan: Yes, that's why I'm saying you are abnormal.

Igor: No, hold on, hear me out, okay?

Nathan: Okay?

Igor: You know how babies put everything in their mouth?

Nathan: Yeah?

Igor: I'm like that, I am perfectly normal, not weird at all.

Nathan: Except you stick stuff up your ass.

Igor: Exactly!

Nathan: I wasn't agreeing with you!

Igor: It's exactly the same, regardless of whether you see it or not.

Nathan: First of all, they grow out of it once they develop self awareness. Second, you need to go to the healer a couple of times a month.

Igor: Babies are sick a lot too, you know?

Nathan: How is that even relevant!?!

{ How interesting! This Igor is clearly someone I should prioritize for a high quality class! }

Igor spends a few minutes, trying to get Nathan to let the rest of Farsille know, that he is just a regular guy. Unfortunately, the clever Nathan doesn't appear to accept his reasoning, so it looks like he will have to find some more compelling arguments. After that they talk about Nathan's class and the situation in Farsille.

Igor: You've hit the XCAP, but your nature mage class isn't advancing to tier 2?

Nathan: Yeah, I was all excited when I maxed out my apprentice class, but then nothing...

Igor: Since when?

Nathan: It's been over a week now.

Igor: How unusual, I wonder, is there something wrong with the system?

{ Hey! }

Nathan: Dad says, it appears to be happening all over Systemia.

Igor: The village chief huh? I suppose he would know. I hope it doesn't mess up me getting a class.

Nathan: The elders say we could really use more peasants and farmers.

Igor: I was hoping to get healer though.

Nathan: So you can keep your abnormal hobby a secret?

Igor: Not more abnormal than anyone else, but yes.

Nathan: Another healer wouldn't help the village, nobody would visit you to begin with. It's better if you get peasant or farmer.

Igor: Fair enough, but why are you so adamant about peasants and farmers?

Nathan: Food production is dropping, because Farl is getting old. The village would be able to get through that, given enough peasants, but everyone is getting nature mage these days. Without peasants every task from making tools and clothes, weaving baskets to building houses takes longer and yields less quality. The way things are going, the future of Farsille looks bleak. Millar is especially verbal about it.

Igor: Let me guess, *dramatically* we're doomed!

Nathan: Exactly

Igor: Well, I'm going to the fields, consider convincing everyone of my normality, okay?

Nathan: Nathan shakes his head, they say their goodbyes and each go their own way.