“So,” said Kila, staring down at the bound, gagged, and very disgruntled prisoner. “What exactly is your plan here, Len. I let you talk me into holding on to him but do you really think you can make this work?”

“Eh, I’ve seen his type before. All fire and fury at first, but break a few of the bones in his feet and he’ll start changing his tune real quick. As an added perk, it makes it a lot harder for them to run away.”

Their prisoner’s eyes bulged at that.

“You sure you want to go with breaking them? Why not just cut them off and cauterize. The forge is right over there, and I’ve got lots of iron that wouldn’t mind an early taste of human blood.”

His eyes bulged even further and a trickle of sweat fell down his brow.

“Now now, Kila,” Len mock-chided. “No sense in escalating things too far too fast. He’s gonna have to refuse to do what we want several more times before we break out the real fun toys. How are those tongs doing, anyway?”

“Not quite glowing red just yet. You’re lucky I like you, those are one of my favorite pairs.”

“That’s good,” Len grinned. “I’d rather we not need them, but never hurts to be prepared. Shall we see what our friend has to say?”

“Oh yes, indeed,” Kila clapped. “I can’t wait to hear his thoughts on the matter.”

Kila plucked the gag from his mouth with a cheery wink.

“So, care to tell us how you found yourself in the middle of our woods deciding to try and kidnap my friend here? Can’t say you’ve earned yourself many points with me by doing that and, though I’m a pacifist at heart, I’m pretty tempted to try out some of the tricks my dad swore by when dealing with humans.”

The prisoner’s reaction was to spit in her face.

“Well that’s charming,” she said, wiping her face without any particular concern. “Now that you’ve gotten your mandatory act of defiance out of the way, let’s start by having your name.”

“I’m not telling you anything, Orc.”

“Well, that’s not true at all, you’re gonna tell me lots of things but first you’re gonna tell me your name. Unless you’d really prefer I just refer to you as ‘Prisoner 8472’ for the rest of your stay here. But, I suppose manners are in order, I’m Kilareth and this is my best friend in the whole world, Lenore. That friend who, I must remind you, you tried to kidnap without justification. The friend who I’d do anything in the world for, including all those thing you’ve heard that we Orcs like to do.”

He stared at her for a moment, processing the words before finally replying.

“Craig Venderbrandt,” he said reluctantly.

“Great to meet you, Craig. Now, let’s get on to that explanation of what in the fuck you were trying to do to my friend.”

Len was having a damn hard time keeping her face locked in a stern mask while she watched Kila work. Her friend was one of the bubbliest people she’d ever known in this life or her last, but anyone mistaking that cheer for carelessness was in for a big surprise. There was steel in her soul that put others to shame. Craig here, was unfortunate enough to have given her reason to show it.

“I… I needed her.”

“Well, that’s just about the creepiest way you could’ve phrased that. Elaborate.”

Craig tried to muster up some resistance to that, managed to stay quiet for all of 30 seconds or so but Kila’s unblinking gaze wore him down fast.

“To get into the initial trials to become a Crusader, you have to capture a prisoner from the enemy races. It can be anything from a goblin to an archdemon, so long as you capture it on your own. Better capture, better starting placement.”

“So your grand plan here was to slip into our lands and just kidnap some helpless individual? All to become some sort of knight? That’s pretty fucked up, man.”

“What would you know about it? I have to do this! My father’s a Crusader, his father before him was a Crusader. It is my legacy to become one.”

Len snorted at that. Shitty excuses for shitty behavior always sounded ridiculous, but man was this pushing the limits of her amusement.

“To be clear,” Kila said carefully. “Your entire reasoning for trying to kidnap a woman who was just minding her business in the woods was to get yourself a job interview? Hate to tell you this, bud, but your decision making skills are pretty lackluster. And even then, what the hell are you doing this far north?”

He mumbled something imperceptible.

“Wanna try that again?”

“I got lost, dammit! I thought I knew where I was going and before I knew it I was up here. Your friend was the first person I came across in a small enough group that I figured I could take. I was hoping she’d be able to lead me out of here safely. I’d have even let her go when we got to territory I knew.”

Len lost it at that and doubled over laughing (wincing slightly at the bruises she’d earned in her battle with him). The way this guy bounced between indignation over his situation to false promises that he’d have abandoned the instant he felt comfortable again was a sight to behold.

“Yeah, Craig,” she said, holding a hand up when Kila moved to ask more questions. “I don’t think I’ll be buying that line any time soon. So, on to more important issues. Tell me about that trick you used to beef yourself up.”

“Trick? You mean my Mantra?”

“Is that what it’s called? I’ve never seen anything like that. Tell me more.”

“I don’t know much about it,” he said slowly. “It’s something that Crusaders get taught about extensively but no one outside the order is supposed to know.”

“So how is it that YOU know it, Craig?”

Again he mumbled something too low for the women to hear. They just glared down at him until he relented.

“My dad taught me. He wasn’t supposed to, but he wanted to give me an edge.”

“Well, that’s lucky for me, then. Because you’re gonna show me how to do it.”

“Like hell I am!” he exclaimed, finding a little fire in himself again.

“No, listen to me closely, friend of mine. You’re going to teach me how to do it because your knowledge of those spells and my goodwill are the only things keeping me from handing you over to the guards here in town. Do you really want to test how far my goodwill will go without that knowledge?”

“How am I supposed to believe that you won’t hand me over as soon as you’ve taught me?”

“Well, that’s the shitty part, isn’t it. You’ve got no more reason to believe it than I have when you say you’d have let me go as soon as you thought you were safe. You weren’t lying to me there, were you, Craig?”

That answer didn’t seem to do much to calm his fears, but she hadn’t really meant it to.