I don’t know what possessed her to pack up her car and drive to Pembroke before the sun was even over the horizon, but I was frankly too tired to really question it when Jesse knocked on the shop’s door downstairs. I’d rolled out of bed hours ago, once I’d abandoned the idea of sleep for the night, and heard her car pulling up outside so I was already padding silently down the stairs while she was headed across the street. She was silent when I unlocked the door, quickly looking me up and down while I leaned against the door frame and raked my fingers through my wild hair.

“Morning,” I broke the silence when it became clear she wasn’t going to snap out of it any time soon, “what’s up?”

“Mmm… good morning,” she slapped a smile on her face, “put on some pants and come help me bring this stuff inside.” I breathed a heavy sigh and watched her head back to her car before I took a long sip of my coffee and turned back to the door into the back for some pants.

I was setting my mug on one of the shelves by the door about to head out to help her when Jesse opened the passenger side door and I caught the scent of half demon and nutmeg, drawing my attention in time to see Jack tumble out onto the sidewalk. A laugh slipped past my lips as he climbed to his feet suddenly wide awake.

“That adrenaline rush works better than coffee,” I spoke with a smirk and he looked up at me in surprise because, apparently, Jesse hadn’t told him what she was planning either. She had us both helping to unload before we could ask again so I ended up with a coffee table covered in supplies presumably for backpacking that almost seemed mostly guessed at and I still didn’t know why. “Jesse,” I started to ask but she cut me off, clearly far more awake than Jack or I.

“I found a trail in the Rocky Mountains that would be perfect for backpacking.” I thought about pointing out that Jesse had never been backpacking and wasn’t exactly the outdoorsy type, but based on her scent, I guess she was doing all of this because she was worried about me. But of course, I’d left my unfinished coffee in the shop so all I could really think of to say was:

“Ah,” and as an afterthought, “and Jack is here because...?”

“Because what would you do without me?” He seemed half asleep still when he answered before Jesse could get a word in and I shrugged as I feigned thinking it over.

“I don’t know, enjoy myself maybe?”

“Where are the boys?” I raised an eyebrow at Jesse’s question when she cut in before Jack could say anything to defend himself, but a glance at him told me he was too busy dozing off on the sofa with his cheek on his fist to care.

“Asleep, like everyone else on the street, you do realize it’s not even 4, right?” She folded her arms across her chest, lilac gaze narrowed into a glare at my antagonistic tone.

“Just go get ready, I’m taking you guys camping whether you like it or not,” Jesse put her foot down and I breathed a heavy sigh as I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers before turning back to the door into the shop. “Reyna…” She started to stop me but I waved her off.

“I’m going, I’m going, just let me get my fucking coffee,” I paused in thought as I opened the door, “and I should make a sign for the door, let people know it’ll be closed a few days,” and I kept talking even after I knew they couldn’t hear me through the closed door because I was no longer aware I was saying anything aloud at all.

Colorado is beautiful. Even after a 36 plus hour drive with two toddlers and the boys, Colorado is beautiful. So long as you stay out of the “Denver Metro Area”, which to be fair makes up a large portion smack in the middle, it’s all open skies, open roads, and the occasional small town with a gas station, maybe a grocery store, a couple of antique shops, and one major crossroad before it’s just open road again. It was scenic, but I was more than happy to be able to get out and stretch once we’d reached the trailhead Jesse had found in a heavily wooded area a few miles past a tiny little mining town. We set up a base camp while the boys played in the trees nearby before I set about triple checking our gear while Jack exchanged a short goodbye with Jesse before Loki tugged on his jacket and he crouched down so that the boy could whisper something in his ear. His laugh drew my attention again as I slung my bag over my shoulder and lifted his before moving to join them.

“She takes pretty good care of herself,” he sat back on his heels with an easy smile, ruffling Loki’s black hair, “I’ll do what I can though.” He straightened up, taking his bag from me and leaning close enough to whisper something in my ear, “even they’re worried about you doing something stupid.” I flashed him a bitter smile before kneeling to wrap the boys in a tight hug.

“I’ll see you guys in a few days; be good for Jesse while I’m gone and don’t wander too deep into the woods, alright?” They nodded their agreement quickly; I’d told them enough stories about the things that wander in the woods that they knew exactly what kind of dangerous things they might run into if they wandered off. I straightened up again and with one last wave goodbye, Jack and I started walking.

It was… strange, trying to match Jack’s pace when I was so used to faster —that isn’t to say he was moving slowly, he kept up a pretty decent pace, it’s just that I was used to running long distance over terrain like this while trying to catch up to Alix, a demon created as the perfect hunter able to chase down just about anything on foot. We paused to take our first break on the side of a rise and catch our breath as the sun was setting, eating light while we waited for his eyes to switch to nocturnal. I’d found a perch on a boulder and sketched the view in my journal while he settled against a tree nearby.

“Do you ever miss it?” My pencil stopped when Jack broke the silence, “London I mean, or Scotland?” He was leaning back against the tree when I looked up, “I mean I grew up in England, it’s what I’m used to, but you…” he trailed off for a moment, “you’re more well-traveled than I am.” I thought over the question for a moment, a bittersweet smile slowly tugging across my lips.

“I miss parts of it,” my voice was soft when I finally answered, “I miss the highlands, the castle, the stars,” I leaned back to look up at the stars here as they started to peek out of the quickly darkening sky, “it was the first time I’d felt like I was home since I was a kid,” I didn’t clarify why I hadn’t felt at home for so long, he already knew the basics of that story and I didn’t want to get into it, “but it went downhill pretty fast, right up until I felt like I needed to run away again.” I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the memories of Kelly and Ryan before I dropped from my perch, sliding my journal back into my back before I started walking again. “Come on, we’ve still got some trail to cover before we make camp.” I didn’t linger long for Jack to climb back to his feet and follow.

I’m pretty sure I’d taken up the same slower pace from before our break, but Jack was struggling to keep up now, his footsteps and scent having faded into the background by the time I reached another relatively level ridge. I slowed there when I recognized a small humanoid figure in the dark further up the way, stalking silently around it until I was downwind to taste the air and figure out what it was. The scent was vaguely human, but the decay and blood mixed in had me leaning more toward ‘people-eater’ as an unconscious growl fell from my lips. That sound alone was enough in the quiet to draw its attention and suddenly the air was filled with a rapid chattering speech as it hastily lifted a tiny bow and nocked an arrow. I reacted on instinct when I saw the weapon, closing the distance quickly and planting a solid kick in its torso to send it crashing through the oak brush, its shot going wide.

For a moment, all I could do was stare after it in shocked silence.

Then I took a breath, listening for any movement as I drew my hunting knife because I’d finally registered what I’d just come across: Nimerigar, and where there’s one, there’s usually more.

“Jack?” My voice cracked and faltered when I broke the silence, but there was no sound at first and I swallowed hard on the thought that maybe they’d found him first, “Jack!” My voice was louder that time and I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard Jack running my direction.

“What—" he paused, trying to catch his breath before he began again, “What happened?” He stopped when his gaze settled on my knife. “Are you alright?”

“I—It…” I started to gesture there the Nimerigar had disappeared into the brush but it was dark and silent still and I stumbled over my words instead. “It just—” I swallowed, frowning as I tried to shake off the heavy fog settling over my thoughts, “The Hell—?” The swear was directed more at my struggle to speak than anything else at that point and Jack looked as confused as I felt as I raked my free fingers through my hair and tried again to shake off the fog.

I hadn’t heard any other movement—I suppose that was a good sign—but I was still paranoid and the scent was pretty distinctive so I dropped my pack and started to follow it without explanation, drawing my pistol as well as I stalked after it…

… right into a river.

I swear, I’m usually more attentive to my surroundings than this.

Water splashed loudly and I came up coughing and swearing because now not only was that slip very loud and attention-grabbing, my pistol was wet and I didn’t exactly have what I’d need to deal with that in my pack. Jack was frowning at me when I finally looked up to toss my pistol and knife onto the bank and for a moment, I was tempted to just lay back down under the water.

“Reyna, I’m not sure what got you so worked up, but I think you might need some sleep before you go haring off after shadows.” He wasn’t wrong, but I was embarrassed and frustrated and annoyed so there was no way I was admitting that.

“There are shadows out there that are plenty dangerous enough to warrant me ‘haring off’ after them,” I muttered the words as I pushed to my feet again and began wading through the largely knee-deep water, slipping on the slick rocks a couple of times before finally making it to the edge, thoroughly soaked. “And there really was something there,” my voice was louder now, trying to make sure he heard it as if that’d make it sound less like I was trying to convince myself, “I’m not losing it…” Jack tried to catch my arm to help me up, but I’d begun pacing and only slapped it away as his fingers brushed my sleeve, “I’m not.” My cheeks were wet, though I wasn’t sure if it was river water or I’d started crying because even though I was so sure I was right about what I’d seen and smelled, I couldn’t quite convince myself that it hadn’t just been in my head, “I haven’t gone feral, not yet.” Jack slid down from the bank with a splash but I didn’t really notice. “I’m not–” he cut me off, pressing his lips to mine and sealing my ramblings away mid-sentence. He stayed like that, for a moment falling into old cravings and old memories—old nightmares—until he pulled away well out of my reach and I came back to my senses all at once. “Fuck you.” He raised an eyebrow at my snarled words, that cocky smirk playing at his lips.

“Really Reyna? And here of all places?” His tone was wicked and teasing, a mischievous gleam in his amber eyes that almost made me agree with him, “Here and I thought you still hated me.” Then his tone softened and he moved back to the edge of the river where he’d left his pack and his boots while I silently resisted admitting that I’d never really hated him and I don’t think I ever could. “Come on out, I’ll get a fire going.” I kept my mouth shut instead, nodding my silent defeat as the cold and numb set my mind in a haze and I followed him out of the water.

It was surprisingly warm when I woke up, and it took me probably longer than it should’ve to realize it was because I was curled up with my back to Jack’s chest and his arm solid around my waist in one of our sleeping bags.

In my defense, this wasn’t the first time I’d woken up with him like this even if it had been a long time.

The fire was little more than embers by now and when I reached out to check, my clothes and my pistol seemed to have dried out so I sat up and shifted away from Jack, pulling my shirt and pants back on before reaching out to get the fire going again; the clothes were mostly dry, but it was still springtime in the Colorado Rockies, which meant cold mornings and a chance of snow so I figured that was about as dry as they’d get. Jack mumbled something unintelligible when I shifted away from him and I’d managed to get a nice warm burn going and pulled my clothes on by the time he’d really woken up.

“Morning,” his voice was rough with sleep and I swallowed hard as a shiver ran down my spine that I tried to convince myself was just from the damp clothes, “I forgot how warm you were.” He flashed me that annoyingly arrogant smirk when I glanced back at him, propped up on an elbow.

“That’s best left forgotten, don’t you think?” I bared my teeth in something between a snarl and a cold smile before turning my attention back to reassembly of my pistol, whether it really needed my full attention or not. He’d gotten dressed by the time I finished, busying himself with packing his sleeping bag back up and making breakfast while I loaded it, chambering a round before tucking it back into my holster. Jack watched me, long enough I started to itch as if I could feel his gaze on me so finally, I broke the silence without looking up, “What.” It wasn’t a question the way I said it, but it was enough to get him to ask whatever it was on his mind.

“So what exactly happened last night that had you chasing shadows into the river?” The snarl that peeled back my lips was immediate.

“What’s it matter to you?” Jack closed his eyes and exhaled through his teeth in something that sounded like frustration.

“Because there was a plan to all this that didn’t involve you taking off on me,” then he looked up again with a bitter smile, something in his amber eyes like the sort of fire I’d only ever seen in the eyes of full-blooded demons, “then again I probably should’ve known better because things never do go as planned when you’re involved.” That cold smile tugged at my lips again.

“Go ndéana an diabhal dréimire de chnámh do dhroma ah piocadh úll i ngairdín lfrinn,” there was a mocking saccharine sweetness to the insult and Jack shook his head.

“You are unbelievable,” he muttered the words and I don’t think he was happy with the cold smile that flickered across my lips in answer.

“Thanks, I try.” His gaze narrowed into a glare and for a moment he seemed to debate whether or not to speak his mind, but I suppose I’d been wearing his patience thin because he finally snapped.

“You are ridiculously self-serving, do you know that? Do you even realize how much you put Jesse and me through when you disappear without a word?” I shrugged into my jacket without answer, he’d only paused to take a breath, “You completely disregard other people and how your actions affect them, you push everyone away unless they have some use as a tool, twist words into weapons and insults, and sacrifice everything that should matter—” he stopped then, eyes widening slightly as if that last one had felt too far even with his frustration; maybe it made him think of London and Kelly.

“I’m sorry…” I spoke slowly, unsure of how to respond now that I finally had a chance, “Not entirely sure what I did, but whatever it was, I’m sorry.” Jack sighed at my words, pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering something about needing a smoke.

“Right… right,” he took a deep breath, “you’re a sociopath.” I winced at that—he might as well just call me a monster like everyone else. “I don’t know what I expected from you. You’re not capable of things like love, not really,” his laugh was dry and self-deprecating, “I don’t think you have been in a very long time, but sometimes you come close” there was something like sorrow in his gaze when he looked up again, and in the grey haze of his scent mixed as it was with the damp of rain, “I think those are the times that hurt the most.”

“I’m a soldier, Jack,” my voice was cold and level, my gaze steady as I held his, “I fight and I fight—all I do is seek out battles and wage wars because that’s all I know.” Then I looked away, down at my hands where they were folded into my lap, “I know I hurt people. I don’t know how to not hurt people.” A mocking smirk tugged at my lips, “Jesse thinks it’s because I don’t want anyone to hurt me again, but it doesn’t hurt anymore,” this wasn’t me lying—it wasn’t me manipulating him—this was me being completely honest for once in my life because I simply didn’t care anymore how he saw me, “nothing hurts anymore, I think I lost the last of that when we lost Kelly.” I looked back down at my hands, finding blood where there hadn’t been before. Jack stared at me, quiet for what felt like a long time before he seemed to swallow hard on something else and leaned around the fire to hand me a tin bowl of oatmeal.

“Well,” he flashed his annoying wicked grin, but it seemed forced this time and didn’t hide the pain flickering in his eyes, “that explains why you weren’t too broken up about Michael to put a gun to his head,” he changed the subject and I couldn’t help my honest laugh and for a split second, he smiled the way he used to, “that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh like that in a long time.” I looked away and distracted myself with eating my breakfast.

-----

We made decent time the second day, it wasn’t as steep an uphill, though we did have to climb the occasional boulder to get up some particularly high, rocky steps. I did my best to keep pace with Jack this time, more for his benefit than my own though I don’t think that’s how he saw it. I didn’t bother correcting his thinking, I was still concerned about the Nimerigar apparently camped out somewhere in the area. A strange chattering cry, not quite animal and not quite human, echoed from the woods to our right and my blood ran cold, hairs on the back of my neck standing on end like raised hackles. I stopped mid-stride to listen for more and Jack stopped a moment later, looking back at me in his confusion for a moment before he broke his silence.

“You know, for a second there, I could actually see you as a fox.” I glanced back at him in silence before turning my attention back to the trees and closed my eyes, inhaling the scent of the woods and searching for that same human and rot scent I’d picked up from the Nimerigar the night before, trying to determine how close and how many there might be nearby. There must not have been any nearby or we were upwind of them because I wasn’t picking up more than a very faint trail. “You even look like you’d prick your ears if you could.” I started to bare my teeth at Jack as I opened my eyes, but I caught myself when I realized it would only prove his point.

“An Owhi is a fox spirit of sorts, it’s not like taking human shape means I instantly stop acting like it.” Much to my growing annoyance, Jack only smirked.

“I know,” it stretched into a wicked grin and I could swear I felt my eye twitch, “believe me, I know.” I raised an eyebrow at him, but the scent coming off of him at the moment was more like sin so I swallowed hard and took an almost unconscious step away. The look of want in his gaze to accompany it flickered away so quickly I wouldn’t have been sure it was there at all except the scent took longer to fade. “Speaking of foxes,” Jack started hiking again as he changed the subject as if to flee the distrust I’m sure was reflected in my eyes, “I was in your place while you and Jesse got Loki and Zevi into their seats.” I frowned at him as I followed further along the trail, uncertain I wanted to hear his point. “You never bring your mask anymore, do you,” it wasn’t a question the way he said it and when he looked back at me, I looked away; I was afraid if I met his gaze, my own would falter and he’d see the guilt and pain I kept buried inside with the madness. “What if you need to track someone?” I started to answer, to tell him about using a person’s DNA to trace their last moments in life, but he didn’t let me, “Someone living,” he spoke as if he knew what I had been about to say. I closed my mouth, not sure how to answer his question anymore. I had no dogs and though I had an exceptional sense of smell in human form and I could track just about anything through natural terrain, there are so many distractions in towns and cities that I’m usually at a loss if it’s been more than a few days. I swallowed before I finally spoke up.

“I don’t know.” Jack paused and slid his bag from his shoulder to pull something wrapped in white cloth from inside it.

“Here,” he seemed to see the hesitation in my expression because he took one of my hands and pressed the thing into it, “take it.” I took it in both hands and let the cloth slip from its front so that I was staring at my own reflection. It really was a beautiful mask, despite its empty eyes, and it was almost as damaged as I was… almost. I started to shake my head and wrap it up again in the cloth, but Jack closed my fingers around the edges of its smooth surface and when I looked up at him about to protest, he wore a smile so uncharacteristically lacking in mischief I was shocked into silence, “Just in case.” I wasn’t sure what I could possibly need it for here, but something about the strange look in his eyes and that smile made me secure the mask’s strap to my belt so that it hung beside my knife without protest. It felt as though the action sent a wave of relief through me, calming my nerves and the madness with the knowledge that I always had that last escape if I ever needed it. I took a deep breath and started again to speak, but Jack wore a triumphant smirk when I looked up, “You look better already,” the smirk tugged more at the corner of his mouth as he tipped his head slightly, as if examining me in a new light, “you get this look in your eyes sometimes, a…” he paused, his smirk slipping away as he seemed to be searching for the right word, “a spark—like you can take on the world and that’s exactly what you’re going to do.” I shot him a sharp look when he trailed off without further explanation.

“And your point would be?” He flashed his grin again.

“You’ve got it now,” I bared my teeth at him, about to make some smart remark, but he wasn’t done, “It’s quite sexy, that look.” My gaze narrowed, but for once, his provocations didn’t make my eyes change and my teeth slice into my lip. Jack’s smile slipped away and he seemed to be seriously studying me for a moment before he spoke. “It’s no fun when you don’t react,” he wore an easy smile as he leaned closer to me until his face was only inches from mine, “I guess I’ll have to up the ante.” I snarled at him in response and started hiking again; I wasn’t going to wait for him anymore, even if it killed me.

The rest of the day was fairly uneventful and we hiked it in complete silence aside from Jack’s occasional attempts to get me to talk. Needless to say, I was ignoring him after our earlier conversation. I didn’t stop hiking even when Jack did, dropping his bag in a grassy patch of relatively level ground and before chasing after me.

“Reyna.” I ignored him, “Reyna, stop.” I didn’t stop until he managed to catch hold of my arm, “Reyna please—” I jerked out of his grip and turned on him, sharp teeth bared like a cornered animal.

“Get the hell away from me.” I snapped at him, but he’d let go of me the second he saw my eyes changed.

“Reyna,” his voice carried a genuine worry and he tried to look me in the eye, but I looked away when he said my name, “when was the last time you ate?” I was silent for a long time before Jack took my chin in his hand and made me meet his gaze, “Reyna,” I almost winced at his soft voice, “when?” Still, I hesitated.

“When I got back from my last hunt. Michael, he—” I stopped, swallowed, and tried again, “he had one when he came back.” Jack frowned and let his hand drop, he looked disappointed by my answer.

“Michael,” his voice was low, almost a growl and I blinked in confusion at his harsh laugh, “Why did he even come back, and that night of all the times to do it.” I stared at him a moment longer.

“Jack?” He looked up at me with a cold fire in his eyes.

“Why do you assume it was Michael that helped you? You were barely conscious, half-mad, and he wasn’t even back yet.” I stared at Jack in silence, piecing together his meaning, “Why do you think Jesse and I came the day after you got back to drop off the pups? You hadn’t had time to call yet.” He was right, though I hadn’t thought much of it before.

“Jack.” He’d continued his rant but he stopped when I said his name again, “Thank you.” I gave him a weak, tired smile, “I’m sorry I didn’t thank you sooner.” He studied me a moment in his sudden silence before a slight smile tugged at his lips.

“Why did you suddenly start calling me by my name again?” I blinked in surprise, suddenly at a loss for a coherent reply when he smiled, “I missed the way it sounds when you say it.” I breathed a heavy sigh.

“Asshole,” I muttered the word and he laughed quietly.

“I’ll set up camp, go find something you can eat that’ll keep you until we meet back up with Jesse.” I nodded slightly as I leaned my bag against a nearby tree and started to walk away, but Jack called me back, “Reyna.” I turned slightly to look back at him, “Try it.” I frowned at his lack of clarification, but he gestured to my mask and I glanced down in silent contemplation.

“We’ll see,” I spoke softly as I turned away and disappeared into the woods.

I dreamt of blood and oranges that night.

I have that dream a lot, now I think about it.

The scents hang thick in the air, painting a dark fog from within which I hear the sound of flesh ripping and bones crunching—the thick taste of iron that would remain stuck in the back of my throat even weeks later no matter how I’d try to wash it down. I think normally this is the point in a story where a hero shows up to save the day, but no hero ever came and so for me, that particular fantasy died that day. Instead I watch the oranges from the bowl on the table above my head roll across the floor through the pooling blood and I swallow hard on the bile that rose in my throat and keep my hands clamped over my mouth trying in vain to stifle the sound of my own breathing. I really hate that feeling—that instinctual urge to flee—the taste it leaves in my mouth, like I’d been sucking on the blade of a rusty knife. The sounds stop, replaced by heavy footsteps through the pool of blood; my father always was a large man. Then my father’s face appears from the fog, looking for me under the table—the only other heartbeat nearby—painted with bloody tears dripping from bloodlust eyes and lips peeled back from sharp teeth in a cruel smile. I scramble out the other side, too young to change and run that way—too young to understand what’s happening at all beyond that part of me that knows my mother is lying lifeless and butchered on my left so don’t look there. I look anyway—I can’t change the past no matter how I wish I could—and I find fiery silver, the kind I remember burning my hands on when I was smaller. It burns this time too when I pull my mother’s knife free from her belt—she hadn’t tried, maybe she couldn’t bring herself to—and turn to face the monster instinct tells me I can’t outrun.

And once he falls dead, I break—I scream like I’d never screamed before…

…and cry like I’ll never cry again.

The next morning’s sun found me far enough away from the camp I could barely smell the campfire mixed in with post rain damp and leaf mold on the breeze. For a long moment, I stayed there in my soft earth nest among the roots of a tree dwelling on the deaths of everyone I know, painting them gruesome ends they might meet if they continue to stay with me as they have and trying to decide if they might make me cry the way those first two did. Then I stood, stretching long limbs and flexing large paws as sharp claws dug into the earth for a moment. I didn’t remember much from last night as narrow jaws stretched in a yawn, only running through the woods chasing wild animals and the carnal bloodlust that had flooded my senses with an iron haze halfway through the evening. As I shook earth and leaves from the thick fur across my body, it changed, rippling into skin as my bones cracked and broke, reshaping themselves with a familiar dull ache as I pulled the mask from my face. My skin was splattered with animal blood, my hands stained nearly completely red as likely my mouth was as well but neither thought bothered me as much as it probably should’ve. A chill ran down my spine as if my senses had just caught up with the rest of my body to remind me it was cold as hell here this time of year without my thick fur coat. I flexed my fingers again, pulling a face almost unconsciously at the sticky feeling of mostly dried blood before climbing to my feet to follow the sound of the creek nearby.

I sat in the icy water washing the drying blood from my skin when I heard someone approach from behind me—the familiar mix of nutmeg, tea, and half demon coming from the same direction I’d smelled the campfire earlier so I knew who it was without much thought.

“You almost look like a Gwragedd Annwn.” I stopped washing for a moment at the sound of Jack’s voice, “Would you marry me if I offered you some lightly baked bread?” I flashed him sharp, still bloody teeth over my shoulder.

“I’m a carnivore, remember?” I paused to cup water in my hands and wash my face off, “Not Welsh either.” He chuckled at my nitpicking and I could still feel his eyes on me as I raked fingers through my wild red hair in an attempt to tame it enough I could tie it up out of the way.

“Where are your clothes, little each-uisge.” I snickered at that one, running my tongue over my teeth and ignoring the lingering taste of blood as I turned to answer.

“You know, I’m not actually sure off the top of my head,” I paused, closing my eyes to inhale the scents around us in search of anything familiar, “that way I think,” I pointed down river when I caught traces of fox and madness in that direction. “I’ll go find them—” the words died on my lips while I watched Jack pull his henley over his head. “What’re you…?” Then again when he tugged it over my head, a silent ‘o’ crossing my lips as I put my arms through the sleeves and he shrugged his coat back on.

“It’s better than nothing, at least until you find them,” his words were punctuated by his zipping up his jacket, “you know which way camp is?” I nodded slightly, still trying to decide how to feel about my situation, “I’ll meet you there for breakfast then.”

“Thanks.” Jack nodded to show he’d heard and turned back into the trees. I watched him go, still for a long time before I shook myself out of it and started in the direction of my own trail.

We hadn’t talked since that morning, and though it was a solemn silence, it wasn’t an uncomfortable one this time. We were in a largely open area by the time the sun had peaked that day and by evening, there were few large trees in sight. That’s when it started raining, sending both of us running for cover under the nearest boulder.

It wasn’t a large space.

We stood pressed close as the sun began to set and the rain, rather than letting up, began pouring harder. Jack didn’t seem to mind anywhere near as much as I did.

“Reyna, can I ask you something?” I could hear Jack speaking, but I couldn’t really make out his words in the rain so I turned to face him.

“What?” I gestured for him to repeat himself.

“Can I ask you a question?” I frowned at him.

“That is a question.” He smirked at my noncommittal answer.

“What did you see in Michael?” I wasn’t sure I should answer his question, but at the same time… I shrugged.

“He’s as damaged as I am.” Jack frowned at me.

“Did he make you smile, or laugh?” I wasn’t sure how to answer that one. I thought back over the years a moment, trying to remember a time when Michael had honestly made me smile… or laugh.

“No…” I trailed off, my voice abnormally quiet, “not really.” I paused a moment before I started to ask why the sudden questions, but he answered me before I could even find the words.

“Did I?” I swallowed my answer at first.

“Sometimes,” I spoke quietly as I looked up at him again, “but I don’t see why…” Jack reached up and brushed the hair from my forehead before letting his fingers trace down the side of my face and my voice faltered. Standing this close, he was unbelievably warm and I couldn’t help but be drawn closer despite myself. I’d continued fumbling for the correct words to phrase my question, but neither of us was really listening anymore and my voice finally died on my lips as I felt his fingers begin to lace in my hair and my gaze flickered up to meet his for an instant. That second was enough for me to feel as though I were drowning in amber and I couldn’t tear my gaze away. He’d moved only slightly, but suddenly I could feel his breath and my gaze flicked to his lips as I wondered briefly if he still tasted the same…

…like poison.

It sure as hell didn’t feel like poison.

My senses felt sharper than ever. I was aware of every move he made, even the slight confounding hesitation in his motion as he moved to wrap his other arm around my waist, like he was dealing with a wild animal expecting it to lash out…

though…

maybe he was right to treat me that way.

He was a hair’s breadth away when the same not quite human chattering I’d heard the day before echoed through the trees, this time much closer and in an instant, I’d snapped out of my reverie and into the collected calm of a well trained Soul Collector. Jack seemed taken completely by surprise when I pulled away from him, dropped my bag against the tree to bolt out into the rain.

“Reyna!” He seemed to get over it quickly as he shouted after me, about to ditch his pack and give chase, but I disappeared amongst the boulders before he could move to follow my trail.

Some days, I think I must be the luckiest person alive to survive some of the shit I pull.

Other days, I think God must seriously want me dead with the way my prey often seems to be hunting me and/or I fall right into their path.

The hunch today would fall into the latter category was confirmed when I slipped from a ledge and found myself stumbling right into the middle of a Nimerigar camp. I’d thank my lucky stars except the hunting party was home at the moment and as I fell, a dozen or so sets of large black eyes fixed on me.

My options after some quick calculation were to take on the tribe armed with an as of yet unidentified poison with no real defenses and armed with only a pistol and hunting knife, or to take them on armed with sharp teeth and claws protected by a pelt thick enough to at least slow down the arrows. So I pulled on the mask.

By the time it was over, the taste of blood fresh and stale was thick in my mouth and even dizzy as I was, I stood chugging water from my flask trying to wash it away. But my world was foggy and getting worse; I’d minimized the wounds I’d received, but I was still nicked in places and even with my ability to heal, enough poison had gotten into my system to have an effect. I barely managed to get the cap back on my flask before my legs gave out and my vision went dark.

The morning found me with some nasty bruises after some of the most uninterrupted sleep I’d had in a very long time. Nothing changed in the little camp from last night, the bodies I’d torn through and the havoc I’d wreaked remained where I left them, so I supposed that meant I got all of them. I rolled onto my back and reached for my cigarettes before remembering I hadn’t brought them with me and exhaling through my teeth. A pounding started in my head as I sat up, coupled with a dizziness that made me suspect there were still remnants of poison in my system. I staggered to my feet but only made it a few feet before I was practically crawling out of the camp. Then I settled on a ledge at the edge of the camp and looked it over for a moment, mapping it out from memory in my head. I lifted a hand to draw a circle around it in my mind’s eye to contain the spell before drawing the rune that would give my intent shape.

“Ignis,” my voice sounded miles away but there was still enough power in it to trigger the fire to light along the lines of the rune before spreading rapidly to the rest of the camp.

Then I stayed to watch the flames.

Jack was out of breath when he found me, apparently he’d been looking for me most of the night half expecting to find me in a ditch when he saw the smoke.

Considering I’d just woken up in a ditch not too long ago, I couldn’t think of much to say.

He didn’t ask about the fire or the camp, though there were still remnants when he found me so maybe he didn’t need to.

We didn’t talk much for the rest of the hike, or if we did, I was in too much of a haze to remember any of it.

The drive home was much the same, though Jesse did try on multiple occasions to get us talking.

Honestly, I barely had the wherewithal to get the boys inside when we got there.

I needed time to get out of my haze and collect my thoughts.

...I wanted a smoke and a drink.