*Ebel*

After escaping the installation, we found ourselves alone and with very little resources. We are low on ammo as well as food. Harold keeps looking to me as the only officer present. The other IDR soldiers are nothing more than privates and specialists. There is not even a sergeant in the group. I can see the fear in their eyes let alone the fear in the eyes of the civilians. The troopers still run watches at night and patrols during the day. No one has completely lost hope, at least not yet. They keep looking at Harold. When they do, a small spark of hope reignites in their desperation. I do not see why.

Harold has been making suggestions regarding our actions. He is hesitant, and skittish but the troopers and civilians alike take to his words like he was their savior. In some sense he might actually be. It was because of him that we made it out of the installation. It was because of him that we are still alive after the attack of the incursions and the failure of the first and second defense lines.

The problem is that he keeps looking to me. He has not called me lieutenant since the installation fell. Yet, he keeps looking to me every time he makes a suggestion. Every decision he makes he looks at me and seeks my approval or disapproval. I have never responded to his pleas. I am no longer a leader of men. I am a failure as a leader, a failure as a lieutenant, a failure as an IDR trooper.

There is nothing I can do to help him. I can not even drive the truck. There are plenty of specialists that are specially trained to drive. There are even many civilian truck drivers in the ones we rescued. It has been so long since I have driven, I nearly ran the truck I was driving into a ditch. Since then I have been delegated to watch duty. Just another thing I fail at. Just more of my blind foolishness putting us in more danger. We almost lost a truck. We can not afford to lose any of them. Each truck is already full of people. If we lose even one, we will not be able to transport everyone. I almost caused another group of people to be killed.

I will likely just mess up being a spotter as well. I will inevitably miss an approaching incursion. It will flip a truck; it will kill its passengers. I will have caused the deaths of more people. Because of me more will die. Because of my failures, because of my shortcomings. All I will do is just make our situation worse.

When I ask for another position, Harold suggests I take on the role of a scout leader. Just more lives for me to get killed. Instead, I volunteer to be a forager. We still need food and there will be no one under me. No one around me when I go foraging. No one for me to get killed.

I failed at foraging as well. When I return from my first run of foraging for food, my bag is nearly empty after hours of hiking through the forest. Besides that, the majority of what I find turns out to be highly poisonous. Once again, I almost got someone killed because of my incompetence. If they ate any of what I brought back, we would not have been able to save them with the medicine we have on hand.

Before the others could get mad at me for my constant failures, Harold suggests we add the poisonous plants to our melee weapons. Several of them would cause paralysis and could possibly slow down a party class incursion if we encountered them. Harold is just covering for me because he thinks I saved his life. We have been avoiding the party class incursions like a plague. If we find even a trace of one, we go the other way.

There is nothing I can do that will not just cause the deaths of others. As I am now, all I am good for is to just load our magazines with bullets. Take the remaining rounds from partially used magazines and refill other mags. Technically, I am supposed to be the volunteer coordinator for our group. I reality, I am the group’s wastrel. To incompetent to do anything besides mindless menial labor.

*Harold*

I did not know Ebel before I met her on the first defense line. Yet I heard stories from Dani, Greg and George. The Ebel that I am seeing now is not the Ebel from those stories. She seems to have lost all faith in herself. I just pray that she has not lost hope as well. I need her expertise to get us through this. We need her if we are to stay alive. Without her we will not survive.

Most of the IDR troopers keep looking to me for answers, for orders. I am not even a full IDR trooper. Most of the time I just listen to what they have to say and just tell them to do that. I am not making any real decisions, yet they keep coming to find me. I do not know what I am doing. I never did know.

They should be going to Ebel. She should be the one in charge. She should be our leader. I am no leader. She is the one with the know how. She is the on with the skills. She is the one with the training. She has the experience of a leader. I was not even cut out to be a party leader in a video game. What makes these people believe that I am cut out to be a leader, their leader, in real life?

A few days after we escaped the installation, Ebel has degraded herself to loading ammo. Before this she wanted to be a forger. Yet, when she brough back rare plants that are so poisonous that they might be able to stun party class incursions she turned around and insisted on loading ammo instead of finding more of these plants.

Since then, we have been spending more time looking for those poisonous plants than food. With those plants we can increase our area of activity. As of before, we were only able to advance across the land in an excruciatingly slow meandering. We had to take massive detour after detour to avoid single party class incursions. Now that we have these new poisonous plants though, individual party class incursions are no longer a major threat. We may not have met one yet, but we no longer have to painstakingly avoid even the chance of meeting one on our path. The speed at which we have started to traverse the land has increased exponentially. All thanks to Ebel, and she will not even accept her accomplishment, only seeing it as another failure.

With our increased speed the scout patrols must travel farther ahead and farther out than before. This gives us a chance to test the poisonous salve that we have smeared on our melee weapons. I am hesitant to test out the salve, but there is a difference between should work and does work. I am still worried about taking on a party class incursion, just to test it.

I pull Ebel off to the side out of earshot. For whatever reason she does not want to let the others know that she was once a lieutenant. She has removed her rank before we met at the first defense wall. I do not know if she lost her rank, or just abandoned it. She will not speak to me about it.

I ask her, “Ebel, please, I don’t know what to do. I need your guidance. It is one thing to say yes to stuff that is obvious. As well as the stuff that the troopers and civilians are already trained to do. They already know what needs to be done. All I am saying is yes to whatever they are suggesting. But this? They want me to okay a dangerous operation that could get them killed very easily. I know you do not want to be in charge. I know you do not want to let the others know you were once a truck leader. But please, I need your guidance on this.”

She looks down for a bit before sighing to herself and looking up, “my guidance would be to not go. Not to test the weapons on the incursions.”

She is deadpanning her answer. This does not feel sincere, but it is still an answer to my question. Yet something is bugging me, an instinct to push further. So, I do, “what is your reasoning for not doing so?”

She looks away, “because I think you should test the weapons. But every decision I make gets everyone killed. So, whatever I think is the right choice must be the wrong one.”

It may be cruel, but I need her to tell me what she actually believes, “then tell me the reasons you think we should go, so I can avoid their flawed reasoning.”

Ebel answers me, “there is too much to risk without testing the poison. If we wait until we encounter a party class incursion with the convoy and the poison is ineffective the convoy could be destroyed. Now we know where one is located and can fight it on our terms. We can lay a trap in case the poison doesn’t work and lure it in. If it does work, we will be able to gage its effectiveness. It will allow us to formulate better strategies using the poison. But like I said. Every decision I make gets people killed. I missed something somewhere. I must have. That is why my reasoning is flawed. You can not fallow it, it will, I will get people killed.”

I nod to her before returning to the convoy and the strike team waiting on me. Thank you Ebel. I would not have though to set a trap in case the poison did not work.

*Alexandra*

I hope Hal is okay. I hope Lori got out of the civilian quarter in time. After the first defense line fell, I fled to the second, but there was no one there. The nearby artillery batteries were nearly abandoned and when the mobs chasing me came into view of the artillery men they fled as well. I had no choice but to fallow them. I so wanted to mount one of the heavy rifles on the second defense line that I passed, but if I did, I would be alone against hundreds of thousands. Even with such a beast of a gun, the stats just were not there. So, I had to settle for stealing it off its rack and slinging a couple boxes of ammo into an assault bag and swing it over my shoulder as I ran. Hal, I am sorry, but I have a new best friend. I will always remember you though.

After the second defense line I entered the main installation operations center. Inside there was chaos. IDR and military commanders were firing on troopers and soldiers. In turn the troopers and soldiers were attacking their commanders. As I approached one of the soldiers looked at me. I almost asked her what was happening, but before I could she raised her rifle and cursed at me, “Another one! There is another one with the corruption here!”

I dived out of the way before a barrage of bullets strike the building behind where I was. You want to play guns with me? I would love too. Now, say hello to my little friend. I place the end of the heavy rifle against the wall of the building I dove behind at an angle. I depress the trigger and am elated to feel the roaring death pulse through my body. The wall is devastated. Beyond I can not seem to find the girl that fired on me. Instead, I accidently step in a red puddle. Eeeeew. Where could she have gone, I wonder? Maybe she was scared off by the high explosive armor piercing shrapnel rounds of my best friend. Can’t beat a bullet that has a hardened core to pierce heavy armor while also having a jacket of explosives and shrapnel. There are even two layers so it can go boom twice!

It is time for a stealth mission. I used to hate these, but this level seems like it will be quite fun. Now, I could go in guns basing and level the entire area with my best friend, but I would like to learn the lore behind these goings on, so I shall refrain from doing that.

I blend into the shadows and go sneaky sneaky over to one of the command buildings. I peek into the window and see several important looking people. They are old and standing behind a bunch of not old people. That must make them important. Now how to get inside without being shot?

I prowl around the building until I see a way to climb to the roof. If there is no way in from the ground without guns pointed at my face, then I will try the roof. Once on top I come across a ventilation shaft. This will be perfect. It is just big enough for me to shimmy down with my beast friend. This will work brilliantly. I sling my best friend and dive head first into the shaft.

I wake up from my stupor with blurred vision. What happened? I dove down the shaft. Broke three fans by headbutt and then crashed through the bottom of the vent. Then the ceiling panels. Then the floor. No, I didn’t crash through the floor, only into it. Now there are guns pointed at my face. Do over? I can do better, I swear.

The important person looks down at me, “and who are you? Another sociopath perhaps?”

I ponder for a second, “maybe. I mean, I did just try to infiltrate the building by using an air duct like in a video game.” I shrug my shoulders and raise my hands.

The important man sighs, “release her. If she were one of them, she would have already started shooting.”

The soldiers raise their weapons and return to guarding the doors. I sit up and look at the important man, “so, what the hell is going on? I was almost blasted by an IDR soldier out there.”

The important man shakes his head, “we have no idea. We think they are the ones that accepted the grace from a god. They seem to believe that we are somehow corrupted and that we drew or sent for the incursions to attack us. They keep yelling that if they could just kill us all that the incursions would return to normal, and they could then drive them off. It is absolute madness.”

I nod my head, madness indeed, would the incursions not just continue their rampage anyway? These mobs are not a hive mind. Killing the one that controls them would not kill or even stop the one it controls.

From outside the building the gunshots and screams increase many folds. The soldiers start to shift silently. I heft my best friend in eager anticipation. From outside a massive banging reverberates from the wall. Another two reverberations and the wall collapses, revealing the massive figure of an ogre and multiple lesser incursions behind it. The soldiers fire at it but it is my best friend that rips the ogre into pieces. As well as the mobs behind it. Good job best friend.

I walk up to the opening and peer outside, then up. A massive leg slices through the heavens and impacts the building, collapsing it immediately. All I can see inside are piles of rubble and debris. The soldiers are no where to be seen. Too bad, they seemed like nice, good death makers.

Looking at the disaster class monster above me I make the decision that It is time to leave. I return to my stealth mode and dodge and weave through the maelstrom before me. By the time I finally complete the level I am back by the defense line. There are no more incursions here. They have all entered the home base. The only way left to go is toward the city. A super high level area, but with my best friend beside me, there is nothing to fear.

*Harold*

I sit down next to Ebel, “I am sorry Ebel. It needed to be done. You said it yourself, we risk too much to leave the poison at a should work. Now we know.”

Ebel turns away from me, “no matter what I try I am always wrong. Always make things worse.”

I place my hand on her shoulder, “even though the poison didn’t paralyze the behemoth, that may only be due to its size. The poison did slow it down though. It wasn’t a magic bullet like we hoped, but it is a new weapon in our arsenal. That is thanks to you.”

Ebel shakes her head, “you didn’t listen to me, I told you not to go through with it.”

I sigh, “I did listen to you Ebel. You told me about a trap in case the poison wasn’t effective.”

Ebel slumps, “no. I told you not to go. I told you that all my decisions were always wrong. I was right. I decided to do the opposite of what I thought we needed to do. I was wrong. Again.”

I place my hand on shoulder, “Ebel, you saved lives. Your plan worked. The trap caught the behemoth, and we were able to kill it with ease. That was entirely thanks to you. You were not wrong. You were right. You made a good call.”

She shakes her head again, “no, I tried to get you to not go through with it. This victory is not mine. Another failure is. I failed to convince you, and because of that you won.”

I sigh deeply, “Ebel, I would like to say that what happened to your team was not your fault. You were in a bad situation. Bad things happened. That was it. But you won’t listen to me. You will need to come to terms with what happened on your own. I am no psychiatrist. I do not know what to say to make you better. I want you to know that I am here for you, and that I need you. I can’t do this on my own.”

Ebel slowly looks at me, her face is blank, “I will only make things worse. Nothing I do is right. I can no longer lead anyone in anything.”

I look her in the eyes, “you may be right. At least the way you are now. But you know what? There is something that you can do that no one else can. I never completed my basic IDR training Ebel. Let alone any kind of advanced leadership training. You can teach me how.”

Ebel tires to say something, “I . . .”

I cut her off, “I don’t need you to teach me how to be a good leader. But these people are looking to me. No matter what I might think about it, they see me as their leader. But I don’t know how to be a leader. You do. You can just be a knowledge base. A glorified library if that makes you feel better, but I need your knowledge. You have been trained and taught how to lead, how to be a leader. Regurgitate that training for me. You may no longer see yourself as a leader, but you were still taught how to be one. Share that knowledge with me. Give me the bare basics. Give me anything. Help me be a leader, so that I can get us out of here.”

Ebel stays quiet, just staring at me silently. I try to push again, “It won’t be for long. Just until we can find someone else to take on the role of leader. I am no leader. Even if I learn to be one, that won’t magically give me the kind of experience needed to be a good leader. But maybe with your help, I can at least meet the bare minimum.”

She opens her mouth but doesn’t say anything, I try one last push, “you have been swapping roles within our group constantly. You may see yourself as a failure. But that doesn’t mean you have given up trying to do something to help. You are still an IDR trooper. It is in your core to help people. This is a way you can help. This is something only you can do to help. No one else can do this for me. If things keep as they are, with me fumbling in the dark, it will eventually cause a catastrophe. Show me a light Ebel. Help me through the dark.”

Slowly Ebel nods her head, and silently whispers, “okay.”

I smile, “thank you. Now, what is the first thing an IDR officer needs to do on reaching a disaster zone?”

Ebel glances down and remembers, “the first thing an IDR officer needs to do upon arrive to an unsecure site is to establish a secure zone from which response missions can be deployed and monitored.”

I nod to her, “alright then, where would be the closest place that can work as a secure zone?”

She starts to shake her head again, “I can’t . . .”

I stop her, “this is just a request for information. Whether we go there or not is my decision, not yours.”

She pauses her shaking and answers my inquiry, “there is an IDR armory located approximately fifty miles away from the IDR primary installation. We are currently headed in a similar direction. The armory houses large quantities of munitions, within these circumstances the armory is considered to be highly volatile and runs the risk of exploding due to the high quantity of explosive materials stored within.”

*Alexandra*

Whoever was in charge of this part of the second defense line definitely gave it their all. There are so many corpses of incursions I am having a hard time moving forward. I haven’t seen the ground for the past half an hour from the bodies. I so wish I ended up here instead of my portion of the defense line. It seemed to be so much more fun here.

After another two hours of trekking and clambering over and through a field of bodies I finally reach beyond the first defense line. To arrive here I had to ask my best friend for help. Not to bring death to some unwitting foe, spectacularly outclassed and skilled, but to cut through a leg or torso too large to go around, or just in my way when I felt like shooting something. The torsos are yucky, but the legs have a nice crunch to them.

Far, far in the distance I can see my destination. A hazy almost mirage of the city. Why am I going to the city? That is simple. I am chasing my prey. While hacking my way through the corpse field I saw a convoy picking its own way through. I snuck closer to the convoy. I was originally going to run up and say ‘hi, here I am, look at me, I lived too, won’t you take me with you,’ but then I noticed that the convoy was making quite the progress.

As I spied on the convoy the people in front were eating through the corpses at a ridiculous pace. With axes and trenching tools they hacked and sliced at incredible speeds. Speeds too incredible to be able to be done my mere humans. These people were players. Our enemies.

I was ready to introduce them to my best friend, but then I hesitated. I noticed who was driving the lead truck. It was Manuel. Manuel was alive. Bastard ran away and left me behind. But I don’t want him dead. He was Dani’s friend. Dani is dead. Manuel is alive. What should I do now?

From the back of the truck Greg dismounts. Greg is here too? Is he a player as well? I try to focus but slap my head instead. I have a heavy rifle. Heavy rifles have variable scopes on them. They won’t be zooming to eighty times magnification, but they do go up to five. I level my best friend and look at Greg. His arm is weird. It is black and malformed. What is it?

The players ahead are trying and failing to hack through a disaster class quake maker. A thick and heavy brute that is so massive that it can shake the ground by stomping on it. Due to its thick and resilient skin, not even players can cut through it.

That is until Greg arrives. From his arm a shining, burning white sword swings out to replace his hand. With only a few swings he cuts through the quake maker’s skin muscle and bone. He leaves the rest of the players to remove the entrails and returns to the truck. Damn Greg since when was that in Shattered World. Or I guess our world? Well anyway, that is a badass weapon, Greg. Hope you don’t become our sworn nemesis. That would not be cool. We were friends. Are we still friends Greg? I hope so.

After witnessing that I started to fallow the convoy as it made rapid progress through the killing field. I stayed out of their line of sight and only observed them from my scope. For some reason, I don’t think it would have been a good idea to approach them. Even if Manuel and Greg were there to vouch for me. So, I stayed hidden and continued on my own path over the corpses rather than take the already cleared path. They might notice me if I did that.

After exiting the field, I could no longer see the convoy, not even with the handy scope of my best friend. Yet, I know their destination. Manuel said it before. They needed to level up. What better place to go to level up than the city that is overtaken by incursions?

So, I step off and start on my way to the city. It will easily take more than a day to arrive at the outskirts. I need to know though. They are our enemies; they are my friends. What is it that they will do? Will they really become nothing more than the pawns of the gods? Will there be a way to save them, sever them from the gods? I really hope so. I don’t want to have to kill one of my friends whom I have known for over a decade.