The darkness slowly perished as the sun moved up in the dim sky.

No longer it was the night, but the morning came, and with it another day.

Perhaps even it was a little more special than the rest of the week.

The holiday is one time when humans are supposed to rest.

That’s how it was ever since the creation of time, the church says.

Therefore religious people ought to celebrate the long lasting tradition by going to the temple.

As for me, I got used to waking up in the morning, despite that I was having my winter break from school.

It allowed me to enjoy the silent and peaceful atmosphere as every being slowly woke up.

Birds, mostly chickens, heard from the outside, but one could also discern horses.

Harrivetta has a stable where her family keeps then. It’s thanks to them that we were able to enjoy the sleigh ride.

I must say it was more fun than I anticipated honestly. Me, Harrivetta, Gorgie and Davithea rode the last sleigh.

Because of those circumstances, it was possibly the one that rocked the most out of the three.

All in all, since we were also possibly the lightest group, it was exciting to say the least.

Afterwards we would stop and Harrivetta’s father expressed that he wanted to go hunting.

Wild animals are pretty active during winter, but killing them would be cruel, the mother said.

So instead of the hunting idea, it was more about scaring them with a warning shot.

Furthermore we also decided to light a bonfire. We would cook up potatoes and meat, they were tasty.

Days like that don’t happen often I guess, but at the same time everyone had fun,

and because of that the older sisters stopped talking about my mother and Davithea.

I suppose it was nice of them to enjoy the moment rather than spoil the mood further.

But that aside, they left, yet the aunt decided to stay with us. She is looking forward to meeting Salayev.

Do I even still want to impress him, I think, while not getting out of the bed yet.

I hope that I’m making progress with the violin but it’s hard to tell with Harrivetta only.

There is no one that is able to give us an honest opinion about our ability, not even the aunt,

and maybe that is a good thing, since knowing all this work was for nothing would only depress me.

“May I come in Miss Pyrecilla?” A familiar voice sounds from the corridor.

“Please do come in.” I answer.

“I’m sorry to intrude.” The maid enters and bows.

“Please feel free to come in whenever.” I tell her as I get out of the bed.

“I apologise, I’m not allowed to do that.” The maid says.

“It is because I can’t wake up if someone doesn’t open the door.” I explain as I wash myself.

“Is that so? I suppose I wouldn’t be able to help.” The maid speaks. “But I do have an idea.”

“Is it so? Then let it be heard.” I tell her as I sit down.

“I also happen to have the same problem, but I discovered when I’m no longer the only one sleeping in the room, it’s not an issue.” The maid mentions.

“And that is the secret of Harrivetta’s?” I respond, surprised. “I suppose that would be inappropriate to ask as a guest.”

“But if miss Pyrecilla wills it, I suppose it can be arranged.” The maid whispers.

The brief conversation between me and the servant disclosed a possibility.

If I could convince Harrivetta’s father to allow me to room together with my friend,

then that would at least help me getting off the bed in the morning.

Additionally I wouldn’t be as bored during the night, and we could play all we wanted.

Davithea already sleeps there, so perhaps an additional bed would be required.

But on the other hand there is no way all the furniture from my room would fit.

That includes clothes, which I change into after the night falls, releasing my body from the corset.

That is to say if I were to visit Harrivetta after our practise, I would rather undress first.

But if I do that, then I would have to walk the corridor in light clothes only.

Of course that is not allowed, even by my own standards, thus I suppose it is impossible.

“I will consider it.” I tell the maid, sighing. “Let’s start.”

“Of course miss Pyrecilla.” She bows to me and leads me to the wardrobe.

“Perhaps today I will take this one?” I ponder.

“Is it this you want, miss?” The maid asks me.

“Yes it would be fine for the church.” I tell her.

“I understand.’ She nods.

“And don’t make a face like this please.” I add.

“It is that miss has a similar taste to miss Harrivetta.” The maid giggles.

“Is it truly that surprising?” I tilt my head.

“I am happy for that development.” The maid bows.

“Yes, perhaps that time came for me.” I ponder while I sit down on the stool.

Becoming like an adult is not that bad, I think to myself after hearing out my maid.

At least I know someone is going to be happy to see me all grown up, I hope.

It is today that I am supposed to go to the church to meet my mother.

I don’t want her to get the wrong impression that I’m simply slacking here,

hence I decided for a different, more mature image, one similar to Harrivetta’s.

In any case as I relaxed my limbs, proceeded to bend my torso and stretch my arms.

Quickly did I realise that there is something pulling me from behind.

It was a force that enforces dignity. I can’t simply can’t be thankful enough for this service,

as doing this alone is much harder and never came out proper when I tried.

Thus, despite that usually I should be the one telling the maid what to do, in this situation I hold my breath.

And after a second more, I open my mouth and sit up straight again, feeling relief.

Being corseted every morning is quite a bother, but I think I started enjoying it more,

especially lately that I have more chances to go outdoors. There, I can show myself to others,

for them to acknowledge the ritual of humility when the servant has power of the master,

for them to notice how much pain I have to go through every day in order to simply get dressed.

It wasn’t long before my attire finished assembling itself onto my diminutive body.

I looked into the mirror, spinning my dress left and right, and nodded at the maid.

As I was really satisfied with the look I also noticed my hair was tangled up a little.

“Say, would a shorter cut be my suit in this frock?” I ask myself, and the maid.

“It would be hard to say miss Pyrecilla.” She ponders.

“How about I pull them up like this?” I lift my hair.

“Yes, it would be something I can imagine.” She tells me.

“But you say so because you would prefer it that way or simply it would fit the image?” I ask her.

“That is difficult to say.” The maid responds shyly.

“Maids always wear mobcaps with the hair tucked in them.” I sigh. “Be gentle today and try to braid it short, perhaps.”

“One that would fit inside of a bonnet?” The maid ponders. “I suppose if I tie the braids on top it would appear shorter.”

“Yes, allow me to see first?” I ask her.

“It would be this high I presume.” She lifts a bundle of my hair up to my neck.

“This is sufficient. Please proceed.” I tell her.

After we agree on the hairstyle the maid starts combing my hair first and then proceeds braiding it.

It takes her a while, since my light red hair is not the greatest material to work with,

but I believe that this maid can work wonders. I look patiently at the mirror,

and more and more of the style becomes visible and present in the reflection.

After the maid takes the braids, twists them around and ties to the top of my head I feel relief.

Only a small portion of the hair actually hangs from the back of my head.

Otherwise, I can’t feel it touching my spine, which is a little strange to get used to.

“This is how Harrivetta must feel.” I say to myself, feeling a bit weird.

“I would still need to use ribbons to secure it miss.” The maid tells me.

“But I say it’s fine, and it’s thanks to you.” I respond.

“You flatter me miss Pyrecilla.” The maid checks show a little colour.

“It is only natural.” I tell her. “You have put this much work already, the results have to be splendid.”

“I wouldn’t be this glad if it wasn’t for you miss.” She answers.

“Alas, so is also true.” I sigh. “You must be glad having the pleasure to work with me I suppose.”

“It is an honour miss Pyrecilla.” She bows slightly.

The hair style is finished with a bonnet. It fits quite well, showing the braids on the back.

Compared to the violin practise, her work at least has visible results, I discover.

Yet I think to myself if Emmi misses me at home. I have thought of mother mostly,

but she is also a part of the house. She made my hair every day, cooked dinner, did laundry,

and many other things. I thought of helping her too, but not always she accepted.

This is to say now I think I understand why Harrivetta allows the maids to work.

Just the ability to make young modest ladies into bonny courteous dames is enviable.

One day, I giggle to myself, I am going to become like a princess and have people gasp from my presence.

Though all in all, I do prefer being small and adorable more, since it is bothersome to deal with attention.

“Miss Pyrecilla, would you like to receive breakfast?” The maid asks me.

“Well, what do you think?” I ask her.

“Of course, I will be right back.” The maid excuses herself and leaves the room.

All this time I spend in front of the mirror, doing various poses and looking at my fair profile.

Perhaps Harrivetta was right about makeup, I think, when I see how my youthfulness is unblemished.

It is only necessary when you want to look older, if you are a child, and younger, if you are an adult.

That’s a silly concept, but it is true that the lost days never really can come back.

Personally I feel it is hard for me to simply enjoy my childhood without thinking much.

Many things are on my mind, like my family’s name or my appearance in front of others.

As for my tall blond friend, there are times when I wish she would act outside of her adult-like manner.

That would at least relieve me from the guise I have to keep up, though maybe I’m just trying to compete with her?

If we were childhood friends we would have been more casual, perhaps.

But for now, before I am able to think about that situation, there is a knock on the door.

“Miss Pyrecilla, can I come in?” The maid asks.

“Do you bring breakfast? Please do feel free to enter.” I answer.

“I pardon. Is it just as miss ordered.” The maid shows me the trace after she enters.

“That would be enough. Thank you.” I bob slightly to her.

“Then before I will excuse myself, there is a letter for you miss.” She shows me an envelope sitting on the trace.

“This comes to me as a surprise. Thank you again.” I bob again.

“Very well. Enjoy your meal miss.” The maid bows and leaves the room.

Before I am able to spread butter on the toast, I discover that the envelope is sealed.

I decided that I would use the small knife in my hands to open it, since I don’t have anything else.

Inside there is a small paper with a few words on it. It is from my mother.

She says that she misses me and that she is busy with work, words I could expect from her.

What she also mentioned is that I should be bringing ice skates to the church today.

I wonder why she would include that, but I realise something else that’s strange.

It’s not her handwriting, it is as if someone different wrote that last part.

I think I saw this style somewhere, and perhaps it was during school, but I can’t recall who.

Besides that I should be probably thinking about eating now, so I start putting food into my mouth.

As I do however, I am reminded of letters I wrote in the evening to my mother.

I told her how people treat me, what do I think of Harrivetta, how my practise goes,

about Davithea and Gorgie, about the older sisters, their visit and the sleigh trip.

I hope she received those words, or will in near future, since I would detest making her worry.

Of course, the fact that letters won’t be delivered on time is something we have to accept and anticipate.

The one in my hands is an exception however, the date written on it is just a few days old.

This means it was either urgent or that someone, other than the post, delivered it personally.

In the meantime, I finish my breakfast and stand up from the sofa I have been sitting on.

I stretch my arms and back, they feel a little stiff. I let out a yawn and rubs my eyes, I’m still a little sleepy.

Finally, I work my legs towards the door and the hallway, because I no longer feel like staying in my room.

I walk slowly towards Harrivetta to see if she is prepared for the trip today already.

I wouldn’t want to miss the opportunity for her to meet my mother.

“It is me Harrivetta, may I come in?” I ask as I knock on the door.

“Feel free to do so Pyrecilla.” Harrivetta answers.

As I enter, the room appears to be enjoying a calming atmosphere between three people.

Davithea, who looks like an angel, is laying down on the sofa, looking at the ceiling.

Harrivetta, who notices me when I enter, raises her head and beckons for me to sit next to her.

There is also Gorgie who appears to be reading something but I can’t discern the cover.

Besides that, there is tea and cards on the table. It appears they enjoyed their time together,

but for some reason they lost interest and began looking for something else to do.

“I suppose I came at the right time?” I tilt my head.

“Come and drink tea with us Pyrecilla.” Harrivetta beckons me.

“Do we have the time?” I say as I comply with her request and sit down.

“I have been informed the carriage would be ready soon.” Harrivetta says.

“Enough for tea in the morning I suppose.” I say as she pours me some in the cup.

“Harrie, how long till we have to go?” Davithea says in a lethargic voice.

“I suppose a tea would do you better than bleating, Davithea.” Harrivetta points out.

“Are you still upset about losing?” Davithea asks her.

“That is not the case.” Harrivetta asserts.

“Do you want me to teach you a trick?” Davithea suggests.

“My dear Davithea, with pleasure.” Harrivetta states.

“Yey! Here is how you win.” Davithea says as her energy returns.

“But only if you behave and drink with us.” Harrivetta voices after sipping her tea.

It appears that the two, despite being in a good mood recently, have developed into a slump.

The little one, expecting that her older friend will play with her all the time, simply lost interest.

Besides that, Davithea could have just asked Gorgie, since he is apparently free at this moment.

“Davithea, why wouldn’t you ask Gorgie?” I turn to the little girl with black hair.

“Ask him about what?” Davithea tilts his head.

“Ask him if you could play with him.” I explain.

“If I asked him it would be improper for Harrivetta.” The little girl punts.

“No, it wouldn’t. I presume she would be fine.” I answer.

“Aye, no problems I foresee.” Harrivetta nods.

“Besides, don’t you think he would be grateful for your kindness?” I add.

“But I digest, he would rather read than play.” Davithea answers looking somewhere.

The boy sighs and beckons the little girl to come.

“You don’t mind? Why wouldn’t you say so?” Davithea tilts her head.

“Perhaps it is so that you are a girl?” Harrivetta suggests.

The boy shakes his head and puts his hand on a spot next to his on the sofa.

“Well, fine Gorgie. What do you want to do?” Davithea reluctantly switches places.

It appears that only a small talk was needed in order to convince the little child to change her mind.

She didn’t even complain as much and started playing with her friend like a proper young lady.

“She must hold a high opinion of you Harrivetta.” I whisper to her.

“It is indeed so.” Harrivetta nods.

“Could anyway blame her? I can’t say.” I giggle a little.

“She does treat me well, and I can only return the favour.” Harrivetta says.

“Right, I’m also glad her cheerfulness is bright. It is her natural talent.” I add.

“That is I suppose why I’m happy seeing her like this.” Harrivetta nods.

Meanwhile the two little children are playing happily together on the opposite side.

They are too involved in themselves to hear their older lady friends whisper.

“So what are you reading there Gorgie?” Davithea says curiously.

The boy shows her the title of the book, “The Blind Flower”.

“What is it about?” The little girl asks.

The boy shrugs and covers his eyes.

“I got the title, I know how to read!” Davithea exclaims.

The boy giggles and points to a line of text for the girl to read.

“Okay I will read this.” Davithea says. “And she ran towards a dark thick forest, where no human went before. She could not see the darkness, nor the light and tripped. On the ground and in the mud, she searched for a way back…”

The boy listens to her in excitement.

“But then she regrets having her vision returned to her.” Davithea reads. “Isn’t this a little too cliche? I suppose it is for little children but it’s not like magic happens in reality.”

The boy grabs the book from the little girl's hands, shakes his head and says “Noh…”.

“You believe something like that might happen?” Davithea asks him.

He replies with a nod.

The interaction developed into a more tense situation. For the little black haired girl it was obvious.

She came from an orphanage and never experienced a life full of dreams.

For her the happiness lies in simply being alive, without magic or miracles.

Gorgie however might have seen a way for him to be cured from his birth defect.

If only a little fairy appeared and granted his wish, he would lead a normal life.

And that was the difference the little children couldn’t apparently understand fully.

“A point of view exists for everyone, I suppose.” Harrivetta voices.

“What do you mean Harrie?” Davithea bends her head.

“That Gorgie is really into books for that reason.” Harrivetta adds. “If you were to show him the world, just like the prince in the story…”

“Wow, that would be something!” Davithea blushes.

At the same time the boy turns his head away from her and blushes as well.

“My dear Davithea will have my support.” Harrivetta states.

“And of course I will root for you too.” I add.

Despite this conversation being a little out of control, what Harrivetta intended was sound.

Definitely it would help both if the two spend more time together, without the moderation of adults.

It is that time of their life they realise that they are as conscious as the other people around them,

that just like they consider themselves as individuals from their own point of view, others do the same.

It is from the difference that Davithea and Gorgie can emphasise with one another and form a bond.

As for me, I think I’m already past that period unfortunately. Even if I return to the childhood in my mind,

I find it hard to simply enjoy my days and laugh without a single worry. I wish though.

“Excuse me miss Harrivetta.” There is a knock on the door.

“Please come in.” The blond girl answers.

“The carriage is waiting.” The maid says.

“Then it is time, let us go.” Harrivetta says and everyone stands up.

“Allow me.” The maid holds the door open as we pass.

The four of us exit the room, with Davithea running ahead of us, holding hands with Gorgie.

Now that I think of it I forgot about the most important thing to mention.

“Pardon my mistake, I completely blacked out.” I tell Harrivetta. “I received a letter from my mother and perhaps my friends.”

“Is that so? Then I suppose you are glad to be meeting them today?” She answers me as we walk through the corridor. “But what of this? Your look concerns me.”

“They asked me to prepare ice skates.” I tell her. “We haven’t the time now, do we?”

“Ice stakes?” Harrivetta tilts her head. “That wouldn’t be a problem.”

“Is that so? I am glad then.” I say with relief.

“One of the benefits of having a sizeable family I can say.” Harrivetta sighs.

“As long as the size is correct, worry not.” I tell her.

“Of course I never wore them myself.” Harrivetta mentions.

“There is a first time for everyone.” I try to cheer her up.

Before we leave, Harrivetta talks with the maid and they prepare the ice skates for us.

They are made from the sharp blade on the bottom and a flat surface on the top.

This design would require you to wear flat shoes and tie the strings around them to secure the skates.

Much like slippers, they might slide off, but I’m confident that there won’t be a problem.

That’s what I hope, knowing that I never actually had the pleasure to try out these types of ice skates.

“Again Harrivetta, feel not afraid to ask me for assistance.” I tell her as we board the carriage.

“I sure hope so, Pyrecilla.” She tells me.

Since I noticed that Harrivetta was concerned when she realised about the ice skates,

I tried to comfort her and tell her I would help, since I’m quite confident that I can with my abilities.

I do remember going out with my family as I was young in the winter. It was an ice skating fad.

but everyone lost interest after a year or two, despite that our wardrobe remained full of ice skates.

I suppose that is also true for Harrivetta and her family, yet she said she never had the chance.

But before I am able to say one more word, I discover that her father and mother would also be joining us.

“Ice skating, what a splendid idea indeed.” The father says as he boards the carriage.

“I believe it wasn’t my mother who thought of this, yet I am glad.” I add.

“Needed be so modest then, Pyrecilla.” The father tells me.

“Neither it was fine, it was probably my friend.” I correct.

“You have such wonderful and thoughtful friends miss Pyrecilla.” The mother says as she sits down inside the carriage.

“Thank you kindly madam.” I reply to her.

“I can’t wait!” Davithea says as she climbs up the carriage stairs.

And with that said, the carriage starts, and we begin our travel through the farmland.

It has been a long time since I had the opportunity to look outside of the moving horizon.

It’s coated with white, and barely I could see footprints anywhere on the thick coat of snow.

Most of the tracks belong either to animals or the horses. There are also lines left by wheels.

It is also quite warm during this time of the winter. The wind is gentle, but a little chilly.

As I am exhaling my lungs an transparent air cloud appears and quickly it dissolves into the air.

Noticing this, Davithea and Gorgie, who looks somewhere outside, also decide to amuse themselves.

For me it’s just a simple matter of temperature difference, but for them it’s just pure fun.

Of course, the trip takes a little while, so we spend our time on various games.

Cards are the most popular one, although Gorgie also decided to bring a book with him.

It is a little shaky however, and hard to properly hold anything that is either bulky or slippery.

We do manage though to arrive in time and without injuries to people or objects.

“So this is your church?” Davithea asks looking outside the window.

“Isn’t it pretty? It has an image of mystery and seclusion.” The mother says.

“Precisely it is so. A little eerie, yet just like at home.” The father adds.

“The mass started already, apparently?” Davithea states as she sees no one outside.

“Then we should waste no time.” Harrivetta says pulling the curtain.

Everyone disbands the carriage, one lady at a time, with the father and the coachman helping them.

It doesn’t take us long to enter inside, with everyone turning around in surprise.

I suppose some people remember seeing my face, but not Harrivetta or her family.

Doing as little sound as possible I go towards the front seats to meet my mother.

And there she is, occupied by what the pastor has to say, with Emmi beside her.

“Good afternoon mother.” I whisper to her.

“Good afternoon darling,” She replies.

Harrivetta’s family decide to take the first row on the other side and quite frankly,

people sitting there stand up and offer their spots without saying or protesting much.

It is quite a scene for the entire village, but not for me or my mother.

Coincidently, I couldn’t find Minorta or Ellien everyone in the church.

I wonder where they are now, since I suppose they would want to meet me as well.

Meanwhile the priest in the middle of the altar starts reading today’s gospel.

“The man took the fruit and thought, even if this is the one that’s forbidden, I’m curious to what will happen, and then ate it. At that moment he learned the truth about himself, his condition and that he disobeyed the Goddess.” The priest says. “Knowing very well of the upcoming retribution he hid in the garden, and when he was eventually found, denounced his sin stating that he did not know the fruit given to him by the maiden was from the forbidden tree.

“Doing so he was punished, not for his curiosity, but for the desire to become equal to the Goddess.” The priest voices.

“His fault wasn’t that he lied, but rather wished to avoid responsibility for his actions.” The priest adds.

“It wasn’t that he did wrong by wanting to know the truth, but his sin was that he viewed his perspective as the one more important than what the Goddess have told him.” The priest states.

“Humans themselves are unable to see the world as the Goddess perceives it, and this is the fact that she wants us to accept. That is how she envisioned us during the creation of the man.” The priest continues. “Wanting to know of the true state, not repenting for our sins, elevating ourselves equal or greater than the Goddess, will only cause harm to us and those around us.”

The mass, despite that we were a little late, goes into lengths and I’m getting anxious.

I presume I just got used to living in a house where patience is not required.

But eventually, the ceremony ends and everyone leaves to the courtyard.

This is the very first opportunity I can introduce my mother to everyone.

“I plead for your attention.” I say to everyone. “I wish you to meet my mother, Beamortha Abronova.”

“It is my utmost pleasure that I am allowed to witness this many guests brought by my darling daughter.” My mother drops a curtsy.

“Pleasant to meet you miss Abronova.” The father says, bowing. “My name is Sergiey Francishias. This is my wife, Abbayeva.”

“It is indeed a grace to see you after all the good we heard from your daughter.” Abbayeva adds, dropping a graceful crusty.

“And I suppose I will introduce the rest, Harrivetta, Davithea and Gorgie.” I say while they bow as I point at each, one by one.

“It is a pleasure miss Abronova.” Harrivetta says.

“Hello! I’m glad to have met you miss!” Davithea says enthusiastically.

The boy simply bows without saying anything.

As the initial tension lowers, we are suddenly met with a sight of a girl running towards us.

She resembles a nun in clothing, but her manner is far from a symbol of piety and modesty.

“Hey, the surprise is ready!” Acculina says without a warning.

“I pardon sister?” My mother responds.

“Sorry, I forgot to tell everyone, but we prepared dinner in the abbey.” Acculina explains. “It was Ellien’s idea I think? Besides that it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told anyone, so there it is! What do you think?”

“A surprise dinner is it?” The father ponders. “A spice of the moment, the sudden change of the current, a generous gift of the merciful.”

“I suppose so, sir Sergiey.” My mother interjects. “A meal would befitting for the moment, but taking from the poor is simply fiendish.”

“Well the food isn’t going anywhere, if you eat it or not.” Acculina states.

“Then be a good samaritan and distribute it among the needy.” Beamortha suggests. “Since it would be a waste otherwise, don’t you think?

“My, those are some thoughtful words spoken, miss Abronova.” Abbayeva says. “It says much of your grace towards the grateful populace.”

“Yes of course. This might come as a surprise to you, but I believe my maid was involved.” Beamortha adds.

Acculina, who had the impression that she could attract everyone’s attention with her arrival,

changed her expression throughout the conversation. First she was excited to say her news,

then she was disappointed that the food would be wasted, and finally annoyed at everyone.

Before she could say anything, before she could vocalize her disapproval of the decision,

the adults head to the abbey leaving the poor white haired nun behind.

“Do not worry so much Acculina.” I cheer her up. “It is only natural for them to do this, despite it being a surprise.”

“The greatest surprise for me is that you came Pyrie!” She replies as she rushes to embrace me. “I always believed that you think of the needy, like your mother does, as a faithful devotee of the Goddess.”

“It takes little faith to discern the needy in this situation.” Harrivetta states.

“I didn’t know Acculina is a nun!” Davithea exclaims as she hugs her from behind.

Gorgie in the meantime simply bows towards the strange girl and looks worried, trying to hide behind Harrivetta.

“She is a nun-in-training, so to speak.” I sigh as I release myself. “But do please believe I haven’t forgotten about you, Acculina. I have a gift for you.”

I decided that in order to make her attention switch from me to something else,

The best course of action is to mention the gifts I bought for my friends.

With a suggestion of a maid, I ordered various items from the town.

Acculina would receive a book, Minorta a pair of boots and Ellien a set of tableware.

Those presents of course sit safely in the carriage, therefore the nun girl has to wait.

“Yet, I suppose since it is a surprise, I would have to wait for Minorta and Ellien first.” I tell the nun-like girl.

“That is fine, really.” She replies.

“But where are they now? Did they not mention something about ice skates in the letter?” I ask Acculina.

“I was only told about the dinner they were planning.” The wait haired girl says, acting innocently.

“Then I suppose they await us there.” Harrivetta suggests.

“Hey, I haven’t seen them in a long time too!” Davithea adds.

“That is fair, lead the way Acculina.” Harrivetta says.

“With this habit I doubt I could do that.” Acculina giggles as Davithea runs ahead of the group.

Before anyone could react, our destination is set for the abbey, more precisely the back door.

It is there where we can reach the kitchen and possibly find Minorta and Ellien.

Besides, I remember what my mother mentioned about Emmi also being involved.

I suppose finding her there, supervising the cooking process, wouldn’t be surprising.

As we arrive at the door, Davithea waits patiently until the rest of our group joins.

But it’s not because she suddenly discovered she was acting out of place.

The reason was simply because the door was locked and Acculina had the key.

With a simple click and turn, we could all experience the aroma escaping outside.

The long corridor and many doors was what I initially saw. However, I could not see the kitchen.

Instead it was my nose who led toward the place where I would be met with a sight.

As we walked and arrived at the location, I was able to meet my friends.

Ellien was helping out the sister with pouring water into the large pot.

Minorta, after preparing the spices, started adding them to the main dish.

And Emmi, who was sharpening the knives while looking after the stove,

looked around in order to check if everything is going smoothly. She was the one that noticed us first.

“Young madam, is there anything you need?” She asked me surprised.

“Is that you Pyrie?” Ellien asks me.

“Did you come to help out?” Minorta asks.

“It would be improper to ask young madam to dirty her dress.” Emmi points out to Minorta.

“I was just asking.” Minorta sighs.

“I can help!” Davithea happily exclaims.

“No dear Davithea, please do listen to the maid.” Harrivetta holds Davithea’s hand.

“Then are you just going to idle?” Davithea asks her blond friend.

“Please do listen to me, I would help myself if not for the circumstances.” Harrivetta tells her little friend.

“Well fine, only because you asked!” Davithea punts.

“Thanks Harrivetta, but we are almost done.” Ellien informs us.

“It’s just this and we are done.” Minorta adds.

“Well, there it is ladies and gentleman.” Acculina says. “You wanted to meet your friends, right Pyrecilla?”

In different circumstances I would have been glad, and even offered my help,

But it would be improper to, since wearing a corset and a dress that wouldn’t fit well with an apron.

“Yes I beg everyone pardon.” I bow down. “I wished to see you all, but didn’t expect I would enter in the middle of preparing the meal.”

“It is fine young madam.” Emmi bows. “I’m glad that you paid me a visit.”

“Of course, any time Pyrie.” Minorta adds.

“We were anxious too, just not quite sensible timewise.” Ellien states.

The two of my friends come, stop suddenly and decide not to embrace me since they notice that their aprons are dirty.

Instead they awkwardly reach out their hands towards me after wiping them with a cloth.

Only then they proceed to shake my hands with me as well as with Harrivetta and Davithea.

Emmi bows to me, smiles and returns to her work, as everyone starts looking at me.

“Believe me when I say I’m glad to be seeing you.” I tell Minorta and Ellien.

“It has indeed been a long time.” Harrivetta mentions.

“How have you ladies been? I sent you a letter.” Ellien mentions.

“We could only afford scribbling on your mother’s letter though.” Minorta adds.

“That alone is adequate really.” I reply. “I bought you two presents as well. It is a surprise so be patient.”

“There are also gifts waiting from me and Davithea.” Harrivetta mentions.

Meanwhile the boy looks at the two girls and ponders deeply.

“And I beg your pardon, let me introduce my brother, Gorgie.” Harrivetta says.

Only now the boy walks and shakes hands with the two apron-wearing girls.

“It is nice to meet your acquaintance, Gorgie.” Ellien drops a crusty.

“My pleasure as well.” Minorta joins with her own crusty.

As the fellows start talking and exchanging greetings, we all leave the kitchen slowly.

Minorta and Ellien at some point in the hallway find a suitable place to leave their aprons behind, and do so.

Truth is that they didn’t lend them, they must have brought them from their home.

At the same time Acculina, who is supposed to act as help, doesn’t appear interested in the kitchen.

It is up to Emmi and the sister to finish preparing the fest, but as Ellien said,

they don’t have much left to do, other than wait for everything to cook up.

In this situation, the maid alone would have been enough, I think, but there is more.

Who is going to be the one handling the tables? Who will ask the those in need to visit the abbey?

All those tasks are what Acculina should be doing now, I suppose, but instead she sticks close to us.

After the two apron-wearing young ladies are done cleaning themselves, we all meet outside.

Acculina, me, Harrivetta, Davithea, Gorgie, Minorta and Ellien all have to decide what to do now.

And this is an easy task because they have mentioned in the letter what is their plan exactly.

“I have received your letter.” I mention. “You have said about the lake?”

“That is me who said that.” Minorta raises her hand. “My brother goes fishing there lately. All those in the kitchen are his catches.”

“You helped as well Minorta.” Ellien mentions. “Don’t be so modest.”

“But despite that revelation, there is still the matter of dinner.” Acculina points out. “Me and sister made sure we will have enough before you came here, so why head to the tables?”

“Acculina, those are for the guests.” Ellien says.

“And the seconds is what you have been preparing.” Ellien explains. “So I suppose it is possible for you to wait until then.”

“Which means we can play now?” Davithea asks.

The boy shrugs and giggles in response.

“I want to see the lake, can you take me there Minorta?” Davithea asks.

“Of course, that is why I brought the ice skates with me.” Minorta smiles.

Minorta and Ellien legs were already equipped with flat shoes that would be perfect for attaching the blades.

which they were carrying in the pockets underneath their dresses. As for me and Harrivetta’s family,

we needed to go back to the coachman and ask him for our equipment from the coffer.

“And as I mentioned, thanks to that letter Harrivetta was able to bring the ice stakes with her.” I say.

“It was indeed my contribution, yet you were the one to speak of it.” The tall blond girl says.

“But I suppose we need some time to change.” I add. “It will only take us a minute.”

“That’s right! I forgot I don’t have any.” Acculina suddenly realises.

“It is fine, you can come with us.” Harrivetta says.

But as Harrivetta extends her helping hand, a priest appears in the abbey’s window.

It looks like he wants to exchange a word with her nun-in-training, as he opens the window door wide.

“Acculina, may I please have a moment?” The priest asks.

“Yes pastor, is my attention needed?” She asks.

“Of course, that is why I’m asking.” The priest adds.

“Then please, I await your order pastor.” She replies.

“Do you happen to have the time to go to the village?” The priest asks patiently.

“It may appear that I’m busy, but suppose I do.” Acculina says while looking around.

“Listen kindly. We have too much food.” The pastor says. “Bring the needy and the hungry here or it will go to waste.”

“Is that all you want to be done?” Acculina replies.

“If you could, be hasty about it.” The priest asks a little annoyed.

“I will be going then!” Acculina exclaims.

“To the village I suppose?” The priest raises his voice.

“Yes! With utmost haste if I must.” Acculina adds.

After that exchange between the white haired girl and the priest of the church,

everyone that was present could feel a little bad for Acculina who would miss out on the trip to the lake.

“We are sorry to hear this Acculina.” Ellien says.

“You better be having fun!” Acculina shouts and runs away in the distance.

“We better have indeed.” Ellien adds.

“As for us we better get going too.” I say. “Just wait here, right?”

“Alright Pyria.” Minorta tells me.

And as we wave to the two girls, the four of us head towards the carriage to pick up our equipment.

It is quite difficult to change shoes on your own while in a corset, something I haven’t thought about until now.

Besides, it seems that Harrivetta also finds herself in the same situation now. However, thanks to the coachman,

who appeared to be waiting for us there, we managed to change out footwear with ease.

It took slightly more time for us than for Davithea and Gorgie, but we are all now set.

Before leaving however, we thank the coachman for the help and suggest he would feed himself in the abbey.

Of course, that is to say he probably didn’t expect to wait this long for someone to show up,

since he might not be told about the surprise, but he did remain royal and stayed back.

Be that he considers the meal as a reward for his patience, or simply our generosity,

I do hope he enjoys his dinner and manages to deliver us back to safety of our home.

Additionally I’m afraid that we could potentially end up returning to the mansion at night.

I have never travelled inside a carriage and under the moon, so I could only imagine what it would be like.

Not to mention that I completely don’t know what is going to happen if we meet a wolf.

How am I supposed to defeat a foe or foes with just this tiny and frail body?

“Is something the matter?” Harrivetta asks me.

“I’m thankful for you asking.” I reply. “I found myself worrying for no reason.”

“Is it due me and the little ones?” Harrivetta inquires.

“That is not case.” I say. “What if we go back after nightfall?”

“Then we arrive back at night.” Harrivetta smiles.

“But greater foes than wolves await.” I mention. “What if a bandit extends his welcome?”

“For a wolf and a bandit a single shot is sufficient.” Harrivetta states. “And if you keep on worrying, I will make you know that I practised the sword as well.”

Because it was visibly getting dark, I unintentionally started having thoughts of fear in my mind.

It was as if for the first time in a while I noticed how defenceless I was outside the warmth of a household.

I have been living in the mansion for quite some time now, and started to forget about the farmland.

Between me and my friend from the village, Ellien and Minorta, I feel a little different.

It is no longer that we frequent the same road to school, wearing school uniforms.

Now the distinction is quite visible since I look more like a noble while they appear as mere peasants in comparison.

“Are you ready?” Ellien asks.

“Aye, pardon the delay.” Harrivetta nods as we reunite.

“Then let’s go!” Davithea says leading the way.

“You know where the lake is Davithea?” Minorta asks and starts walking.

“Of course I know!” Davithea says.

By no means I don’t think of them as friends no more, rather I noticed that something was wrong with me.

I realised that besides that we went to school and played together, I was never truly happy myself.

To attain a purpose was what I needed, an personal objective I wanted to achieve no matter what.

Ever since someone told me I had a chance, the world around changed quite literally.

I found something I wanted to do, to become noticed by the salons in order to clear my mother's name.

That’s why I practised violin with Emmi, that’s why I went to Harrivetta in order to meet Salayev,

and that’s why I want to go with her to the open party, all for the sake of my mother who gave me a chance at life.

But recently I noticed more. I started to pay more attention to the future, and less to the past.

I believe this is a good chance, but it is also why I started to get more anxious lately.

“Hey it’s actually close by.” Davithea says as we arrive.

The boy points at the lake and turns to his sisters in excitement.

“Quite the view, I concur.” Harrivetta nods.

“Just don’t get close to the holes.” Minorta points out.

“That would be obvious, even if you didn’t inform everyone.” Ellien says.

“But do be sure that we already tried skating here and the ice was fine.” Minorta adds.

“We would have invited you otherwise, Pyria.” Ellien tells me.

“Of course, I am thankful.” I reply.

Previously when I talked with Minorta, I couldn’t say who I really was and how I felt.

And further, the part she accepted and empathized was not the real me inside.

I was afraid to tell her the truth about me, I was afraid that she wouldn’t believe me and take my truth as absurd.

To her I was always Pyrecilla, not the person inside of the young lady’s body who went through life once already.

“Harrivetta, I can help you put these on.” Minorta tells her.

“Aye, I would be obliged.” The tall blond girl bows.

“Put the blades down in the snow, near the shore.” Minorta puts down her blades in presentation. “Then you only have to tie them up.”

“I understand, appears easy.” Harrivetta replies.

“Here I’m going to help you tie them.” Davithea says after kneeling down.

“Thank you dear Davithea.” Harrivetta says.

“In the passing, what did you talk with Pyrecilla about a little earlier?” The little girl asks.

“She voiced concerns about the inconvenience of returning during the night.” Harrivetta mentions.

“So she is afraid of the dark, just like me?” Davithea giggles.

“As anyone would Davithea.” Minorta adds. “And I can understand why she would feel like thought.”

“Does that explain her being distant today?” Ellien whispers. “She stands here is deep in thought.”

“Let’s go to her. Hey Pyrie!” Minorta shouts at me waving her arm.

The real me was a guy who went through his life like anyone else in the world.

I tried to pass school, and that was easy, I tried to pass college, and I stopped there.

I realised that a normal job doesn’t really appeal to me, that just working and eating would be the worst.

There was no purpose, no goal I would attain if I only continued being a consumer.

But the reality behind this was that I never managed to fit within the society.

Even if I made friends I was never a part of a community, the relationships were brief and fake.

It was due to how my mind processed information, now that I think about it.

Because of my mental problems I visited shrinks which didn’t really help in the end.

So I became an outcast and led a life pretty much only inside of my head,

while all interaction with the world was done via a persona I created for myself.

But there was more to that. Recently, the technological advancement gave me that opportunity.

In the Virtual Reality you could become anyone, they said. You could create your own world, they said.

And I thought that I would try it, in order to show everyone the me inside of my mind.

That is, after college and talking with several people I started having doubts about my gender.

Even during school days I noticed I was more interested in the bodies of girls and their function.

How it would be like to have a girl’s body, how would others react to me if I was female or how would my life be different.

Furthermore, unlike most boys I had no physical attraction to any of my female classmates.

Rather, I started to take notice of their fashion, their hobbies and preferred their company over bonding with male students.

But it was only when I grew older, when I had the opportunity to express myself outside society.

I started to think that I might feel better as a female, that I would feel better if I was born a female.

That’s why I decided to start a “new” life as a little girl inside a world made by ones and zeros.

Of course that dream could only be achieved for me in Virtual Reality, where I would have to pretend.

Yet, I always was reminded by someone, or something, that I am a man inside, that I lie to others.

That’s why I became distant to people in general, and further destroyed my mental state.

Lies were the only thing keeping me intact, as well as friends who believed me and respected me.

Never had I suffer through rejection again, as long as I stayed close to a small group of people online.

But now Virtual Reality no longer matters. The support group of friends doesn’t matter.

Ever since I woke up in this world everything changed so drastically that I couldn’t even imagine that was possible.

I was worried at first that this is fake, that this was not real, but now, I know it’s the truth.

That’s because I was able to find the childhood bliss anew, and no longer I needed the past.

“Ahaha.” I laughed.

“Ahhahaa.” Davithea giggled.

“Ihihi.” Harrivetta released chuckle.

“Ehehe.” Gorgie tittered.

“Ahahaha.” Minorta and Ellien guffawed and we all played together.

As my body was dancing on the ice, and my hands swung around, as my legs glided on the surface,

my temperature was getting warmer, a smile appeared on my round face, and something in my heart felt different.

I can only recall this feeling from my childhood, the sensation of pure and innocent joy.

No matter how long I stayed in Virtual Reality, I wouldn’t be able to replicate that emotion.

And to think about a month or two ago I was afraid that my old life was more important.

It isn’t now, it doesn’t matter. My fear of rejection, the sensation of being in a female body,

all that reminded me of the times I was in Virtual Reality. But that no longer matters.

The real me, the truth is that I’m Pyrecilla, playing with friends on a lake.

“Ahhaa!” Davithea says as she slides.

“What out Davithea!” Harrivetta shouts.

“I have her.” I say as I manage to catch her before she falls down.

“Are you okay Davithea?” Ellien asks.

“This is fun! Ahaha.” Davithea happily laughs.

“Ahahaha.” The boy laughs with her.

“Hey, be careful you two.” Minorta says.

Eventually everyone started laughing like little children, just like Davithea. I too couldn’t help it.

All this time the answer was to give up the past and live in the present.

I had dreams reminding me of who I am, reminding me of the past.

But experiencing them was painful, since I was not able to forget.

Yet, I had to forget, I had to erase them from my mind forever.

My petite hands are a fist when I stand on the lake, sliding a little.

But then I push myself forward and start to gain momentum.

My delicate palm now open, free to feel the wind as I cut through the air.

I feel free, happy and without attachment. I laugh, smile and almost cry.

“Pyrie! Be careful.” Ellien warns me.

“You are going too fast.” Minorta adds.

“Don’t worry, I’m aware of what I’m doing.” I turn and tell them while sliding backwards.

“Wow you are good at this miss Pyrecilla.” Davithea adds in amazement.

“Cease this pointless competition.” Harrivetta tells me.

“I’m pardon, I’m just carried by the moment.” I say as I stop goofing around.

“My goodness Pyrecilla.” Harrivetta exclaims as she gets close to me.

Before I am able to react, me and Harrivetta come at each other and collide.

But neither me or her fall to the ground. Instead she catches me and does a spin.

It is as we were dancing on the stage, despite that our meeting wasn’t planned out.

I stop in her arms and look upwards, as her face lowers and meets my eyes.

“Pyrecilla, what is the meaning of this?” She asks me as I smile at her.

“I am simply happy seeing you like this.” I reply, while embracing her.

“This instance of dance practice is improper.” Harrivetta says flushing a little.

“But at the very least, aren’t you happy like the rest?” I say, looking around.

Others, who appear to be playing on the other side, don’t appear to notice us embracing each other.

It is as if, in this bliss of youth, they aren’t able to register a single thing that would be worrying or causing anxiousness.

“I concur, I never seen Davithea or Gorgie be this happy.” Harrivetta manages to voice.

“Hey! You too should join the play.” I tell her. “Let the wind carry you.”

“Must you be so insisting? You almost tripped just a second before.” Harrivetta sighs.

“Then what of it?” I tilt my head. “Afraid of falling down?”

“Aye, yet I suppose worse fates could incur.” Harrivetta nods.

“Then why don’t I show you like I promised?” I ask. “Just like when I said I was afraid of the dark, I will too promise that I will hold your hand.”

“Is that the case? That is your conviction?” Harrivetta says as her grip loosens.

“But only if you let go first, then you will understand.” I whisper to her while placing my hands on her palms.

“Thus, the release you speak of is your way of returning the favour?” Harrivetta whispers back, lowering her head.

“Just as you did unto Davithea and me.” I reply, gently touching her forehead with mine.

“I granted her joyfulness. but what of you? What have you received from me?” Harrivetta asks me.

“You don’t know? Take me hand and it will come to you clear.” I tell her.

Considering the countryside, the land is where the farmers put in their work.

And every spring, the wheat grows as the achievement of their effort.

It is a cycle of giving and receiving, the simple life of generosity produced in nature.

Just like Minorta or Ellien, people who live here have deep connection with the soil.

They carry a purpose of protecting and nurturing it with care, since this is also their history.

their family, their purpose in life. They belong in this world and from that can feel true freedom.

That is what I told Harrivetta, to let go of her image of a proper lady and her wish of a perfect family,

so that she could embrace the fact that she lives in this world, with friends who care for her.

That’s what I realised by letting go of my past and appreciating the person in the reflection on the ice.

“Come, don’t be so anxious Harrie.” Davithea beckons her friend.

“It is that carefulness is proper.” Harrivetta explains.

“Suppose it is so Harrivetta.” Ellien says. “But wouldn’t you be glad to know that Davithea is enjoying herself? We will pay attention to her if you worry, but saying no would spoil all the enjoyment.”

“Besides after all this work you should also think of fun.” Minorta adds. “In summer you work in the fields but now the soil rests. So today we too aim to use the winter break in a joyful way.”

“And this is better than sitting at home.” Ellien adds. “And I suppose Davithea also understands that, correct?”

“Yea, you are right Ellien!” Davithea responds.

And only me and my tall blond friend appears to be standing still and not having fun.

“See Harrivetta? Everyone wants to play with you.” I giggle at her.

“Pyrie once told me to be happy for others.” Ellien mentions. “Do you know why Harrivetta?”

“Because it makes them happy too.” Harrivetta nods.

“Then would you accept?” I let out my palm as if I was inviting her to a dance.

“Hey, let’s all make a circle!” Davithea exclaims, grabbing Harrivetta’s hand.

Gorgie takes the Davithea’s hand and Elliens’s.

“Come Ellien!” Minorta takes mine and Ellien’s hands.

“With pleasure, miss Harrivetta,” She bows, takes my hand and Davithea’s and we all start to dance in a circle.