I loose my grip to a position where I can support the sword mostly with my shoulder, moving forward as the spear hits me in a full lateral swing, the loud sound of wood hitting wood exploding a second later. But that’s it, almost no damage done to the flesh.

The impact forces me a little to the side but my stance was solid enough to not be pushed for much, and I have little time to care about a few centimeters lost, the window too small to focus on such things. I throw my body against the spear, pushing it back with all my weight and strength at the same time that I keep moving closer, my shoulder cracking in protest as I force it to withstand the pressure that it was not made to.

The healer sure will not be happy about it of course, probably giving me another long lecture while working but that's not a problem to think about now. The chance of it breaking is also pretty low, so I can hardly bring myself to bother. Give flesh to crush bones, right?

I keep going until the surprise effect is lost, it did not last for long actually, but my was work done nonetheless, the small moment of distraction enough for be to buy two steps in. Not much, but enough, damage done already as the range advantage switched, the spear now too close to be moved at will. That is, if I can keep myself from being pushed back.

What I try to.

My two feet press hard against the ground while I do the best that I can to keep myself in place, to keep myself in a position where I can at least put some kind of a fight. But even doing so it's incredible hard already, and to my plan succeed I still need to get even closer. He although, does not seems that will give me the opportunity.

For the next few moments we fight in a battle of strength alone, one where I can’t get closer nor I can complete the initial attack, also, one that I'm unfortunately losing. But I have yet to, and battle will be over when it is.

The good thing is that my initial idea still worked - even if not completely - so my situation is still better than when we started. He has no room to a swing and pushing the spear back to another strike will open space for an attack of my own - or to me to get even closer -, and then, my sword that is a lighter weapon with an easier grip will fall hard on him.

Plans need to be changed though, a smaller swing will be needed, but so be it, no need to be greedy. A point still is a point and I can hardly be picky when I did none yet. Still, that's a talk for when, and if, I can find the chance to deliver such blow.

He could just throw me a few meters far with a single push if he really wanted of course, finish the battle at any time - The thought cuts my mind, distracting me. But that doesn't matter, because he’ll not, he can’t, the Four will not let him - I finish, grinning to myself as the now so familiar rush of battle fills me, giving me the strength to push even harder while at the same time freeing me from any fears.

We stare at each other in a kind of tug of war and stalemate, almost a minute after we first stared but yet in the same situation, each of us waiting for an opportunity to take the upper hand and turn the table to its own side. Well, at least I do. Even without using of superior strength I'm pretty sure that there are other means that he could use to deal with the situation so I don't really know why he's waiting, but as I keep forgetting while in the heat of battle, this this is not really one but a practice, so he must have his reasons.

Well, be whatever they were I don't think that they matter anymore because the chief starts stepping up the pressure with no mercy, abusing of his taller figure and strength to press me down. My back bending while I fight the mountain like weight, and lose.

He’s serious, suppressing me at the point that my body rages in pain by only keep me standing, but I force it to keep going once more, refusing to let go of the chance that I created with such effort. The chief, going easy or not, is not someone who can be pushed over by having some half-assed resolve or without being willing to pay some prices while at it.

Unfortunately, what I can do with only determination and resolve is limited and after a few seconds a Spasm of pain makes me involuntary flinch. The moment he was waiting for. My legs go soft for half a second and my stance cracks up, I'm still able to counter attack from such position but the weight that was most evenly distributed is now pressing against a single leg alone, a matter of time before I give him the break to safely swing the spear again.

Knowing that I must get myself out of this situation fast I muster strength in my upper body, trying to push him back even if for a little. A second and I would be able to get in stance again, bringing us back to the stalemate where I hold advantage, but he gives me no chance.

If not bad enough the shameful bastard starts kicking me, slowly and strong the kicks come in and I can do little but suffer in silence. Jumping back will lose me the little advantage that I fought so much for - even if it's already really close of being lost - and with it, the opportunity to win. No better, if I get one of my feet to block I'll have no way to fight against the spear pushing me.

He has no face? That's not what practitioners should care the most? Every single mercenary watching while he fights with a little completely normal, 50cm smaller kid and he stills fights like that. I don't know if I should feel glad or sad about this treatment to be honest.

No time for that, I remember, seeing myself close to a small distraction that I can't afford.

I also see myself on the brink of losing and no clear rout of escape, so I try to do something about it too. I force one of my legs down and put the heavy burden of supporting myself on the now wounded front foot - blame his kicks - as I use the still in good position other one to do the task of stopping them. The bad thing is, doing this costed me one of the two steps that I previously bought, giving him more space and freedom in case he decides to attack.

I look up and he smiles, a smile that I've come to know very well and so, I prepare myself, knowing well that it will not help. A second later I Bark in pain as my foot feels like is being hammered, but I like to think that at least I did with some dignity. To be true I could take this amount of pain without making a sound, just as I could make enough sounds to seem like I was dying, but I see no reason to do such things here.

Sadly, I have not time for self-pity so I get my other foot pressing forward in a desperate attempt to not be pushed back, either I did that or I backed off, and my body can't keep going for much more. The tool of the sixty or so seconds of constant effort way more than I thought it would be, no chance that I'll make safe for him to break apart our weapons by backing off on my own so better go for the risky gamble.

Seeing my poor position he changes the low grip that he was using to an ample one, judging to be easier to bring me down with a lateral push than with a vertical one. Probably right as after no time I start sliding, desperately trying to find something to support me as the earth and grass tears beneath me with no success.

On the back of my head I hear the mercenaries shouting at me a mass of intangible words and curses, most of support instead of the mockery. A funny group they are, they remember me of my people in a few ways, like in the way that they are ready to sheer for a nobody that they know for so little over their boss with years of companionship on his back.

Probably because no one likes to be hanged in a giant tree - the thought comes like a fast bird through my mind, earning me a half smile. But no matter how true or how funny I think it is, I can't let my focus slip so I concentrate, letting the unnecessary things flow pass me.

This time though, the unnecessary things are not only my thoughts.

My hearing goes and so does my sight, my conscience diving deep inside my body as the silence and darkness overlap me. A-staigh, the only thing that I grasped after all this time in the cultivation practices, a nice trick but nothing more, it can show to the user his body in all details, fractured bones, bruised skin, torn muscles, the blood rushing inside the veins, pretty much everything.

It’s a good way to know what you want to concentrate essence after a life and death situation, or even to see how much your body is compatible with it in general. In this case it’s also a good way to know which part of your body you can still trust. Eann also said that it has a lot of more and magical self-informative uses, but I feel that it’s not the time to get distracted with them.

With everything needed to see, seen, I bring myself back, the world of darkness and pulses gradually turn itself normal once more, no more than a fraction of an instant past with the only difference being that I now know exactly which part of my body I should avoid putting weigh in, and witch part will not flare up in a huge ball of pain as I go for a last push.

I take a breathe, seeing every single movement that I'll need to do in my mind a few times until satisfied, the rush still strong as it leaves me with no need to care at the pain that I know I'll start feeling soon. Soon, but not now, so I can still calmly focus without distractions.

With nothing more that I could do coming in mind I give the Four a praying and let my body go totally loose. No strength in the knees as my body give away and starts falling, the spear that for so long has been pushing against me now finds itself with no resistance and it slides through the body of my sword, its movement too fast to stop and mine sudden to react, even for him - while holding back at least.

The spear flies high above my head, missing me and freeing my sword at the same time, so with hurry I bring my body back alive, mustering all strength of my own and of his last push so to pivot around. My wounded feet like hell as I use it to turn, but my thinking going only to how to move faster, there’ll be time to feel pain later.

And so, I attack, aiming for his torso - or legs, hard to know when you did the attack while spinning. But it doesn't matter as even before my eyes can grasp the situation I hear the results of it.

I’ve been slower.

I let myself fall once more as fatigue consume my tired body and lay on the ground as all that I’ve been ignoring come at once, my breathing hard against my throat, the sweat wet in my body, all the pain in pretty much everywhere and of course, the sound of wood hitting wood that once more, exploded.

While in a mist of thinking, I hear Brod arguing with his chief, saying that he broke his word, using more strength that he said he would.

He did not, he vowed me that he wouldn’t and even I know that vows are not to be taken lightly. And as the sky is not black and raging, it’s obvious to everyone that he didn’t. Brod is saying that just to make feel better, making it obvious by being loud - thing that I quickly learned that he rarely does - only to make sure that i'm listening.

That was probably the best chance that I had since we started so I'm kind of disappointed, I’ve always knew that it would not hit sure, how it’s possible to? I’m not an experienced fighter nor a kind of never seen genius. But still, in the inside I hoped to be, I hoped to hit.

Although, it's hard to feel bad when you have someone doing such things to make you not so I take a few breaths to calm myself, of mind and body, and after putting my feelings in place I talk.

“Can you give me a hand?” - I say to the shadow blocking the sun.

“Sure I am kiddo”

I’m greeted with that smile of him, a strange blend of friendly mocking and sincere concern. It’s hard to not like Brod - even if he is a practitioner -, an opinion for what I saw that most have in common if you take out the chief from the list. Their "friendship" would be like of an old cat and dog, they don’t really like each other but both are used to it already.

Brod is also quite talkative to me so I think we are somewhat close, what is strange, in a lot of ways. He is a practitioner, but not acts like one, treating me normally even at the point that I would say treating me well. Still, he -they- works for people that almost killed me twice.

Noticing that I've been dwelling in such thoughts for a good while, and feeling the bad mood that I created by staring silently at the nothing just after losing I throw them to the back of my mind. For now i I'll just give things a chance, even if I feel unsure about them, the mercenaries still deserve it by the things that they are doing for me.

I again, take a breath to clam myself, and seeing none of them really sure in what to say I take the job to lighten the mood as my own. It’s something that I usually did a lot so it's not hard. I get up, slowly taking the dust out of my clothes as they stare, finally giving them a huge grim as I finish.

“So, that’s one point for me, right?”

I say, not really loudly but high enough to be easily heard, and Brod starts laughing while again loudly voicing his opinions on the matter. It doesn’t last long and the commotion quickly dies, a few stares and some “Do you lot have nothing to do?” from the chief ends it but the job is done already.

They quickly disperse, the chief making sure that they have something to do, leaving me alone to think about my recent failures in, pretty much everything. I cannot stop thinking how about things were so much hard than I thought, my plans seeming so childish now, hoping for everything to go right, even my countermeasures and preparation nothing but narrow viewed.

In the end, even after everything I was the lucky one, but what about my people? The ones that will come after my “success” in escaping? They will have the same luck? I promised myself that I would come back for them, but how much will die before it? How much time will I take to really do it?

Was I the right person to be the lucky one, or did I take the chance from someone that would help them better, faster. Someone that would not probably f-

“what you thinking kiddo?”

The chief calls, cutting my thoughts and bringing me back to reality as he waves to me get closer. We sit on the floor as usual, eating some hot food, rice and meat with a few roots and edible plants found around the forest.

We do not talk much while sparing, but we always share a few words while eating like this, most are about the practice itself but sometimes we talk about personal things. I didn’t really want to talk about myself on the beginning but the chief is a good ear, - and the aura of power gives little run to deny talking if he asks. He will listen and give his opinion if asked, but if not he'll just silently hear.

This time though, we eat mostly in silence until after a few dozen spoonful of food, he stares at me and speak.

“Do not let it goes up your head boy it was a good try... but a with some bad luck you would have broken your ankle and lost right there, a stronger opponent would not only have stopped you but would have knocked ya on the floor before you had the chance to even try something too. It was a good try, but it was dangerous, you have to correct that about your style, you are too reckless on combat.

Too much needless risks in your fights, trying to put me against the wall so to settle the fight in a single moment it’s good but not if risks weights more than the chances itself. You are a good learner and have a lot of talent, progressing with the sword fast but ready to discard all of it and fight stupid"

I take the words in silence, they are the truth. But I know that he wants more, wanting me to express my thoughts too, it's indeed strange but I'm used already so I do.

“I know, but no other chances came in mind and the plan looked good in the heat of it. I know that you’ve said that after I got essence it’ll get better and the real training would begin, but”

“but?”

“But I’ve made no progress with cultivation at all, so I have to do what I can”

There are six days from the day that we’re entering the forest they said, two weeks past after the first day I first awoke already, and I’ve heard Brod cursing at a few people after they declined to wait more. I do not blame them sure, why would I? They own me nothing, pretty much the opposite, they have no reason to wait.

He looks directly in my eyes for a few seconds before talking again.

"You worry too much, we still have time." - he says, but both of us know how untrue those words are, I can see in his eyes. Still, there is little to be gained by letting the food go cold so we just focus on eating, no more talking for the time.

As I said, for now I'll just give things a chance, no matter how unsure I'm about them, and hope for the best.