《Writing test》10.Bureaucracy
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"Oookay... no messing with my own soul, duly noted."
"Yeah, even if by some miracle you made it up in one piece, the higher ups wouldn't be too happy."
"That's next then? Hell's bureaucracy?"
"Yes, after all you will need to know who not to piss off here."
"Yeah, i've realized people here are 'stab-happy'."
"Hah! Look at that! Already learning how to use helltonge to show individuality!"
"Yeah, i've had enough of sounding like there is a translation robot inside my own head."
"Heh, yeah, it can get boring pretty fast. Well then, bureaucracy. i'm not exactly knowledgeable about the other planes but what i do know is that there are nine planes in hell: the plains where every imp goes until they ascend, seven realms for our seven 'esteemed' leaders and the last one in which a eternal battle is always underway."
"Against whom?"
"No clue. Now, that the plains is not under any official jurisdiction means that every mayor faction wants it's piece of the pie, so there are six big factions and a bunch of minor ones, plus a 'neutral' faction which acts as sort of a buffer zone between everyone else."
"Wait, seven lords but six factions?"
"There is a lord without a faction but it's followers have formed the 'neutral' one, though more than a faction they are a group of individuals that barely stand one another but group together because they abhor the other factions even more."
"Wait, the lords and their factions take their names from the seven cardinal signs right?"
"Hmph, fancy name for basic instinctual responses, yes, so?"
"So... let me guess, the stuck up ones that see everyone else as shit are pride right?"
"Yeah, anything else?"
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"Why wasn't there a pride path then?"
"Because lord pride himself made something so necessary for everyone else that anyone calling themselves ascended get it as soon as possible, besides he didn't want to be associated with something so generic every other lord had it too."
"Alright... I guess it's pride after all, then pact making is pride's invention, right?"
"Yes that is so. But it is more than that, from what it's said it was the first pact itself why the SYSTEM hasn't hunted us all down."
"What? What is the system?"
"Well, you saw it didn't you? When you were brought to hell. I don't know how you came, it's different for everybody, but it should have been a large REINCARNATION sign where the other souls left before you came here."
"Oh, shit, yeah, been there done that."
"Well, that is the SYSTEM that governs over worlds, and, for some reason i have an inkling of, we don't particularly get along, but it's said that thanks to the first pact we have reached a sort of coexistence, and it is said that pride himself is the holder of that pact and that is the reason no other lord goes against him even if pride has no proper army of his own, thought he has indeed a follower base in his own plane and they are the ones overseeing the whole official matters of hell and it is said that pride himself could take on three other lords so..."
"Alright, so don't provoke a construct of immense power lording over worlds and give proper respects to the ones running the show am i right?"
"Pretty much, but don't forget that there are other factions and people here are generally, as you said, 'stab-happy'."
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So nine realms of murdering impersonations of the seven primordial things, the other beings at war with said assholes, a construct or being of unfathomable power that would surely be more that happy of freeing itself of us were it not for a contract held by the most obvious target for an enemy with resources to wage an timeless war against all of hell, not to mention that in the seemingly countless worlds under said SYSTEM, it doesn't seem very likely we will be well received... well, could be worse, i could give a fuck.
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