It turns out that Rich was worrying about nothing. The farmer, not named MacDonald, wasn't even worried about the pig. He had assumed a predatory animal had grabbed the Backfatter and drug it off. The farmer who thought Rich was so noble to offer to pay the pig but he would be more than happy if I could talk to Wolf into letting Bear to look after his farm at night. Apparently just having Bear around, who was a lvl 12 dire wolf, would scare off all the low leveled monsters in the area. He even offered to build a dog house for Bear.

Charles said, because of course they can talk, that "Sir, Bear is more than agreeable and that the only reason he wasn't running around at night was Wolf, told him he scarred people". Charles said "Bear is a cheeky Wolf and loves to go around scarring the wild life".

"Oh my fucking god. Literally MY god. At least everything's coming up Milhouse!" Rich exclaimed and everyone looked at him like he was an idiot. Apparently there were no Simpsons fans in the Echo universe.

The farmer understood that Rich was stressed and he heard that there was a new adventurer in town. He even suggested that I go with the animals sometime to get some safe early leveling in as "It can be hard when you're a new wizard". Rich tried to explain that he was a cleric and offered to fix his hunched back or stubbed toe. He VERY quickly apologized for his "blasphemy" for asking for compensation and that "he assumed since Rich had the spell find familiar that I was not a member of the clergy". Rich tried to tell him to not worry about it and that "I am a proper fucking Cleric" and that "Damn it if you keep apologizing when I was the one that stole your pig I'll just leave" but he then offered to pay Rich, to use one of his spell slots to heal his wife hobbled leg. Apparently the way long term status conditions work in this world involves a portion of max HP becoming unusable until the status is cured. Rich decided too call it "grayed out" since that's what it basically looked like to him when he examined the old Farmer's HP bar that showed 12/14. The status can be cured with the proper holy spell healing the damage but doing so normally costs a kings ransom in tithe to the various churches. Now Rich felt like he was being taken advantage of, but he did steal the guys Pig. On accident of course. Besides he already said he'd do it. "It would only take moments and shit shit would be over" thought Rich.

Rich told him "I've got 4 more basic spells I can cast today" and " Show me her injuries and let's see if that would work". Apparently "her afflictions could have been healed with just 1 spell" said the farmer. He was crying and when I cast the spell on him he straightened up and seemed to gain 5 years of life back. There was a loud popping sound like he just needed to crack the farmers back really bad and the farmer looked whole again.

The famer started blubbering that he wanted me to heal his wife and not him and begged again. begged Rich. A lvl 1 cleric in the starter zone who had no interest in being begged. Rich helped him up and told him "Stop fucking crying man. I already said I would heal your wife just show me where she is". He started to grab Rich's hand and decided that "he wasn't worthy" and ushered Rich to the back room where his wife was knitting. She was starting to get up with use of a broken cane when they walked in the room. She was in tears that her husbands ailments were removed. Great, more tears. She tried walking forward but in her excitement she dropped her old broken cane and hugged her husband. Rich picked up the sane and casually threw a mend on the cane and handed it to her. They both did a double take and looked at each other. Rich told them that "I could cast the spell but it would be better if she was standing alone"... "Also, stop crying this is not a big dead". She took the fixed cane and Rich cast another basic cure wounds. It completely fixed her hobbled leg and straightened her back. Her bar was at 7/13 so the wound was worse and It was creepy the way the improperly healed leg snapped and then rotated back around to heal in the right position. It slowly turned and the skin rippled around the break and then seemed to correct the muscle and sinew that went limp and improperly used for years. It took far too long, or maybe it was so grotesque that it seemed like it took longer. It grossed Rich out all the same and he almost vomited. When he fixed the farmers hunched back he wasn't really paying attention to the actual mechanics. The wife let out a slight whimper for a second but then immediately seemed relieved as whatever magic was in the spell numbed the pain and fixed the new break.

Her husband and she hugged each other and started full on bawling and thanking Rich profusely. Rich was pretty sure they offered to give him their farm and anything he wanted. He told them "it was hardly any effort on my part and that I still had 2 spell slots left and the day was almost over. Don'tt worry about it. I'll get xp from this any way since it seems a very clerical thing to do". Rich then chuckled to himself a little too loudly. The farmers didn't understand the joke and Rich felt like his wit was wasted. Any way Rich felt really bad about stealing Charles and even if these back water "goonies" didn't have a Cleric around that it still wasn't a lot of effort for him. He's just chock it up to a fair trade. Pig for fixing life changing ailments. That might be his new motto.

Rich then noticed Bear was trying to get his attention and followed him. Charles was eating their dinner. The entire pot to be exact. He had already eaten the two plates on the table, the spoon, at least one fork, a ladle, and was trying to finish eating the pot itself. There was also a chunk out of one of the chairs. Rich got him to stop and grabbed the sad remanence of the silverware and told Bear to take Charles outside to eat some trash or whatever they could find. He then had to amend it to "Nothing important".

Rich was pissed because he was wanting to get out of this awkward situation. Rich walked back into the wife's knitting room casting mend on the broken and devoured cutlery. He tried to explained the situation and the Farmers earnestly said it was the cheapest healing they had ever heard of. They said they would be more than happy to feed Charles and Bear whenever the animals wanted. Rich thought that was probably a lot more food than they realized but left it alone. He awkwardly thanked the farmer for the pig and feeding the animals for the night and that we were going to head back to town as it was getting late.

The farmer said if Rich needed more people to heal there were plenty in the town as Sneles had not had a Cleric for years. They didn't even have a proper church. He then started praying, to what god Rich did not know, but he said that his last statement was "not pure" enough and begged for forgiveness. From Rich. A lvl 1 cleric who cast basic cure wounds spell. A lvl 1 Cleric was was not pure at all. Rick was getting really annoyed with the "pure" shit so he quipped back "Alright just say 10 Hail Marries and pray on it". The farmer then asked what a Hail Marry was. Rich did not explain.

Rich got Charles from the pile of trash he was finishing off and whistled for bear. He knew he had to do some leveling with the two but it was such a long day and he had to go to sleep and absorb everything that just happened. The fact that such a simple aliment had been left for so long when it cost Rich next to nothing to fix meant that he had to make a plan for healing the town. Rich also knew that if it was so simple something had to make it not worth doing or some reason another cleric didn't come to Sneles to rake in the free levels and mountain of gold the locals were offering.

Rich tried to mention the problem to Charles but his solution was not ideal. "Sir.... I am a pig" he started saying like Rich should understand the implication. Rich told him "I know what a pig is" but he continued "Sir, If they are bothering you there's no need to hide bodies". Rich tried to explain to him that he wasn't worried about the farmers or mad at them but Charles just wouldn't hear of it. He occasionally started to turn around slowly and Bear would Nip at his heels when he did. Rich couldn't tell if he really understood or if Charles and Bear were fucking with him. He leaning toward fucking with him.

When the group got back to the front of the Wolf's Den Charles exclaimed "I’m knackered!" and walked over to his favorite trash pile and collapsed on his stomach. A pig in heaven.

Rich walked into the inn shaking his head with Bear by his side. Bear headed to his bowl and engulfed the entire contents by the time Rich got to the bar. Sure enough when Rich sat down he was already siting next to him with puppy dog eyes going full blast. It's like he didn't break stride at all. Wolf, the now bartender and ex-adventurer, walked in from the outhouse and over to the two. He patted Bear on the head and said "sounds like you three had a good afternoon". Rich sighed and looked around the pretty empty Inn. He started to ask Wolf about why no Cleric went around healing the ailments and Sally came out form the kitchen with a plate of potatoes, meat, and gravy. Rich started again and asked why no one went around helping others and she laughed. She said "They do but this is a small humble town and many of the nobility have huge amounts of gold up for offer for new clerics to come and help extend the life of their family. Some clerics to travel around but this town is quite in the sticks and a starter area. Their time is just better spent other places, in their wrong opinion". Rich tried to point out that that wasn't fair and the nobility should help others, but even he couldn't get the argument out without seeming childish. Wolf piped in saying "We have it good here. We're happy when we don't have new adventurers vomiting on our door step".

It definitely did seem like life wasn't bad here in the echo universe so Rich finished eating and headed up to his quaint room and laid down. Before closing his eyes for the night Rich heard Charles snoring outside and that made him laugh. He was going to have to deal with that by moving him away from the window or trying to get the massive pig to sleep on his side. Right before heading to bed everything seemed perfect and happy. Nothing had gone wrong and people seemed very happy to have a cleric around even if it was temporary. Rich managed to not fuck anything up or piss anyone off too bad. It was a good day.

When Rich closed my eyes he noticed 8 new emails in the bottom of his vision. He begrudgingly clicked on the first one and wish he hadn't.