-Varia-

Disgusting.

That was the thought Varia had when regarding Sokanoth. The stench of rancid meat mingled with the smell of moldy fur, seeping into his armor and threatening to coat him in the same malodor. Sokanoth was there, in the flesh once more. Hooves left streaks of viscus gore where they lay, palms cracked and oozed as they were held to him. Dor’Goth was not like this demon, he was more. This is what those creatures of old became, this is what remained.

Once again, this gnarled and repulsive creature was at his feet, groveling. Begging for mercy. Mercy from what? They had not come seeking him.

“Why are you here?” Varia asked.

He was aware of Maddox’s eyes on him, and felt the heat of his gaze. Maddox did not approve. It was almost laughable, that Maddox did not approve of Varia consorting with this demon. Yet he consorted with Her, he forced Varia to consort with Dor’Goth. Varia would have turned his head, to regarding Maddox with a gaze that would surely convey his thoughts if he trusted Sokanoth enough to take his eyes from him.

“I was not following you, little lord.” Sokanoth rasped.

Varia snorted, eyes narrowing as he gazed down at the creature. He could see every bone of his body. They stood out stark on stretched, grey skin, threatening to burst forth at any moment. Open sores oozed same as his hands, dark and thick secretion that reeked of rotten flesh.

“I did not think there were any elves in the caves of Nihal.” Varia murmured, his hand tightening on his sword.

“I do not believe there are, lord. Even so, I have been ordered to leave them be, and I have not disobeyed you.”

Varia did let his eyes slide to Maddox then, and met the others gaze. Maddox was rigid with tension, Cithrel was whining in its sheath, pulled enough that the blade could be seen. Maddox shook his head to Varia, but Varia simply turned back to Sokanoth.

Maddox was scared. Varia understood why. He was host to Dor’Goth now, and Maddox was unaware of the depths that his powers went. Varia himself did not believe that Sokanoth was loyal to him, but the demon feared Dor’Goth. Varia did not think Sokanoth so foolish to believe Varia would spare him a second time, though, and would not challenge him.

“I am seeking a power, Lord. It is my nature to do so.” Sokanoth lifted his head then, tilting to the side. His eyes were not front facing, but on the side suggesting he was more prey than predator. Those squared pupils lingered on Varia, trailing up his body, down each arm before settling on his face.

“Can you sense it too?” He asked, lips pulled back in what could only be described as a smile, misshapen and unsettling as it was.

Varia did not feel a power that he was not accustomed too. Nothing down in these caves felt like what Dor’Goth felt like in Er Rai. There he could feel it, and oppressive darkness, threatening to steal the breath from his lungs and crush him under its weight. Here, he felt nothing. Only the chill of the cave, the heaviness of air that had nowhere to move. Nothing demonic, nothing unusual.

Sokanoth slid his eyes to Maddox suddenly, that stretched smile suddenly curling in disgust.

“Ah. I see now that I cannot touch the power I felt.” Sokanoth hissed.

Varia turned his head to Maddox, brows creasing together. He meant Maddox? He had sensed Maddox? No… it was something else. It was not Maddox Sokanoth sensed, but Her. It had to be. But how had he felt Her? Was She there? Was She always?

“You cannot touch it.” Maddox agreed with the demon, tilting his head towards Varia though he spoke and watched Sokanoth. “You are lucky that Varia has found himself to be merciful.”

Sokanoth suddenly spat at Maddox’s feet, hooves scraping the ground as he pulled them below himself to crouch rather than grovel. “I will not speak with the host of the cunt. Stay your tongue, vermin.”

Varia moved quickly, snatching Maddox’s wrist just as it jerked to pull Cithrel free. The sword was keening louder, trembling under Maddox’s fingers. Maddox turned his eyes to Varia’s, now rimmed gold and swirling with anger. Around them, the air was vibrating, thrumming with tension and energy that Maddox was willing and able to expel in Sokanoth’s direction.

“Stop this.” Varia said firmly, harshly. Maddox was looking at him, into his eyes, but he felt he was looking through him. For a moment Varia was not certain Maddox would stand down, he was not certain he was even speaking to Maddox.

Then, Maddox blinked slowly, and the gold vanished. He let go of his sword, and allowed Varia to pull his hand back. Varia was still on edge though, a dull buzzing in his ears, adrenaline blurring his vision as it coursed through him suddenly. Would he have truly fought Maddox over Sokanoth? Could he have stopped Maddox?

Maddox’s eyes dropped briefly, and Varia’s gaze followed them. Only then did he realize that he had drawn his dagger and had it pressed against Maddox’s belly. Varia stared at the dagger, at his hand holding it. It pressed hard enough against Maddox’s stomach that his tunic pinched around the blade, but he saw no blood. With effort, he pulled his hand back, sliding the dagger back into its place besides his sword.

He stepped back, and turned to Sokanoth. Behind him, Maddox’s fingertips brushed against the back of his arm. Comforting him… He had not thought, did not expect such a reaction from himself. It was foolish. He rose to any threat in the same manner, he always had. Maddox or not. So why did he feel so guilty? Why did Maddox comfort him for such a thing?

“I will lead you, little lord, to the source. It is not here, if that is what you fear.” Sokanoth’s voice broke the silence, and Varia was glad for it.

Varia hesitated, unsure if he wished to see this source. Sokanoth alluded that it was Her, and Maddox all but confirmed it. Was She here? In Nihal? How did Maddox not know, then? The hand on his back of his arm gave it a soft squeeze, and he sighed.

“Let us prepare to leave, and then you will lead us to this source of power.” Varia said finally, motivated by the touch, the urgency in it.

Sokanoth lurked just outside the light that the fire in the hearth cast while they packed their few supplies and dressed themselves. Varia hoped for a night to relax, to sleep and to nurse aching muscles and bones. He knew Maddox hurt worse than he, though he had not spoken of it. Both were bruised, and exhausted from the fall and the near drowning, but what choice did they have?

If it was not Her, then it was something else. Something that could hinder them, attack them. He would not go so far to say that She was an ally, but he was unsure if She was an enemy yet. She protected him during the re-sheathing, during his own binding. She spoke to Dor’Goth, in such a familiar tone he was inclined to think that the two demons perhaps knew one another. It would not be so strange, if She was even a demon to begin with. He was not sure what She was, he just assumed that She was a demon. An ancient one, like Dor’Goth.

He and Maddox both remained quiet while they packed, tense with the showing of Sokanoth and the implication that there was another. Maddox was moving quicker than Varia, but would linger with his gaze upon Varia’s face every so often. It felt like Maddox was committing him to memory, remembering him like this. Unarmored, unarmed, so casual. He found himself watching Maddox, the manner in which he was dressed. He would have enjoyed spending a night with him without care or worry, for Arcturus, for Nihal, for being caught. Just as a proper couple. He committed the thought to his memory as well.

Once they were prepared to leave, they began to trek further into the caves. Sokanoth led them into a spiraling tunnel, one the light did not reach. There were no sounds, not even the usual sounds of caves. Sokanoth’s hooves and their boots were the only noise, and echoed on for ages. Even the small creatures that scurried about underground, just out of sight were quiet. Or perhaps they had left completely.

It seemed like hours they walked in the dark, so thick that even Varia struggled to find his way about. Then, they stumbled out of the tunnel, and into light that did not reach the cave they were in just moments before.

They were in a chasm, tall and wide with what used to be a lake taking up most of the ground, and at the center of it, a tall, jagged crystal. The crystal seemed to light itself from within, casting an array of colors onto the walls around them, bringing them from the dark. The walls were darkened stone, with a layer over them that reflected the bouncing light, shining blues and whites over the lake.

There were places like this all over Nihal, beautiful places. But this was unlike anything Varia had ever seen before. It was frozen. Completely frozen. The lake, the walls, the ground, all of it was ice.

“How is this possible?” Varia whispered, gently sliding his boots across the slick ground, pressing his palm against the wall. It was cold to the touch, a familiar cold. A cold that called to him, urged him to go… home.

When he was not answered, he turned his head. Sokanoth still lurked in the dark tunnel, not entering the light, not moving closer.

“Why have you not come?” Varia asked.

“She is hungry. She will consume me if I approach.” Sokanoth whispered, his voice small, his eyes on Maddox and not Varia.

Varia turned to look at Maddox as well, but Maddox was looking to neither of them, instead, standing on the edge of the frozen lake, gazing at the crystal in the center of it. A crystal, Varia originally thought. It was ice. And the light emitting from it pulsed like a dull heartbeat.

“Sokanoth, I give you leave of this place.” Varia whispered. He did not need to turn. Sokanoth thanked him quietly, then slinked away into the tunnels once more.

They were left in silence then. Once the sound of Sokanoths hooves shuffling away left them, there was nothing. The ice did not have a noise, not here. In Arcturus it would groan, it would breathe sometimes. It had a sound, a smell, a voice. This ice was different. It was a corpse. It did not breathe, move, speak. It only had light, nothing more.

“When the ancient gods, demons, began to kill one another… She was one of the few who escaped death. She was worshipped in many places after the fall. The dwarves that lived here must have worshipped Her, before they were all killed. Her influence of power does not pass Arcturus… She could not protect them.” Maddox’s voice pulled Varia from his thoughts, and he turned to look at him.

Maddox still stood on the edge of the frozen lake, his eyes still focused on the tower of ice in the center. Varia knew the history of the world, knew of the demons that used to rule the humans. It was history, true history, and the reason why there were many gifted men like him. He was an exception in his level of power, so was Maddox. Demons would use humans for a great many things. They were cattle, fodder, toys to be soiled and thrown away. Those few who lived through those treatments would birth sons, daughters, creatures that were more demon than human. Those bloodlines trickled still, throughout the ages, beyond the War of the Gods and to now.

She was a demon then. Perhaps the founder of the Aesirs, of Maddox. She did not just live inside Maddox’s mind like Dor’Goth in his own, She did not seem trapped, bound to him in the same way as Dor’Goth was. She was in Mal’Dyr too, Varia recalled Her voice on the air in his darker nights. Nights when the Councilman would come, would remind Varia that he was Varia’s master. Those dark nights when he would be summoned to the wing of the keep that he would not enter any other time, when Vaalar Thiron would strip him bare in the frozen keep, would threaten him, insult him, remind him of his worth, She was there. She would not interfere, for it was not Her nature, but She kept him warm. He recalled that warmth now, the comfort he found when She would brush over his wounds and dull them to pain. She felt kind then. She felt like what he imagined a mother would feel like. Was that was She was? A mother?

“She is hungry. She is weak, She will begin to act like others of Her kind if she is not fed soon.” Maddox was speaking still, but Varia was not sure Maddox even remembered that Varia was there as well.

“I must give Her blood. Then She may be able to hold on longer, until we reach the ice, and the keep.” Maddox finally tilted his head to Varia, and stepped onto the frozen lake, testing it against his weight.

“How much blood?” Varia asked, watching the other with wide eyes. The ice appeared thick, but if Maddox fell in, Varia did not know how he could get him out. It was freezing there, and if the water was anything like the water in Arcturus, below the ice it was deadly.

“Not much. A few drops. She has survived on less for many years. If this place connects to Her as I think it does, this will help.” Maddox moved slowly towards the center, leaving Varia behind on the shore.

Be careful.

Varia wished he was bold enough to call across the ice to Maddox, to implore him to use caution, to remain whole and well. He knew of Her, knew what he felt when She was near him, but if She was half mad from starvation, She could be an enemy. She could harm Maddox.

How strange it was that things had changed so drastically. Months before he would have done anything to kill Maddox, to harm him beyond what any magic or medicine could repair. He wished so fully to be free of him, to rid the world of the Hero of Er Rai. So many years he was told that Maddox was his enemy, that he was not worthy if he could not strike him down. He had to strike him down, if he did not, he would be killed. It was Varia or Maddox, there was no other way.

But there was another way. Maddox was not the same man he thought he was. His strength was no longer something he feared or hated. It was something he admired, that he respected. Something that he found attractive, even. This relationship was still new, something he barely believed at times. But when Maddox reached the crystal, and turned to look back at Varia, to confirm he had not left him… It warmed Varia, to see, even from that distance, the look in the others eye. He had not understood at first, his fear of being used, of being an easy warmth to Maddox’s bed had clouded his mind, had blinded him to that fond way Maddox looked at him. To the way those emerald eyes softened, brightened when he looked at him, looked into his very soul when they lay together. Even now, when he looked at him it was deeply intimate. He looked at Varia like they were making love no matter the circumstances.

Varia felt something twist in him anytime those eyes fell upon him. Anytime that gaze softened and gave way to something tender and passionate. Something warm, something that was not fleeting, something solid and firm. He felt that look break him, and pull him back together, and he knew, somehow, that Maddox was true with him. That he did wish to share his secrets. That he would do what he could to set Varia free. But he feared for Maddox, feared for losing what he had found with him. He feared for that warmth to shift into cold, to leave him alone.

So when Maddox turned away to face the crystal, Varia felt fear that it may be more blood than he said. He did not want to be alone anymore. His first choice as a free man was to follow Maddox, to remain at his side. He would not lose him to Arcturus, nor to Her, whomever She was.

Maddox leant closer to the crystal, soft whispers in a language Varia did not know rising from him and echoing around the chasm. The light pulsed, and Maddox drew Cithrel halfway and placed his palm over the blade. His hand jerked, and when he removed it from his blade, it was red. He lifted his hand, pressing it to the ice, and slid it upwards, tenderly, like how he would run his hand along Varia’s body.

Maddox removed his hand, leaving behind red, and stepped back in anticipation. But where Varia expected something to happen, it was quiet. Silent. Nothing changed for a long moment, for so long Varia nearly stepped forward.

Then, the crystal pulsed, and a ripple of power expanded from the base. It slammed into Varia, but did not cause him to stumble. Instead, it chilled him, and his armor burst with frost. It crippled his core, exposing him so suddenly to a cold that he had forgotten. It burned his lungs, threated to crush him under its weight. It pulsed again, and then the pain was gone, and Varia was left gasping for breath. The cold remained, but it was a tolerable cold, not the painful and deadly cold of Arcturus.

When he lifted his gaze from the white now creeping over his leather and armor, Maddox had stepped back from the crystal, which now pulsed steadily, like the beat of a heart. Maddox pulled a cloth from his belt and wrapped it around his hand, and Varia felt his anxiety ease.

He returned his gaze to his sleeves, beginning to brush the frost from it, when a voice called to him. It was not Maddox’s voice, but a feminine voice. He did not understand the language, but he felt a presence around him, wrapping him in an embrace he could not see nor identify. Then, he felt that presence behind him. He turned, but there was no one. His eyes fell to the floor, watching as mist began to waft around his boots, clinging over his legs and drawing further up him.

He is mine. He is my vassal, my lover, my friend, my son and my king. You will not take him from me, nor will you turn him from the path decided upon his birth.

Varia’s eyes widened and he turned his head, trying to find the source of the voice. It did not come from anywhere, yet it came from everywhere. She was all around him, but it was not that same embrace he remembered from when he was young. It was not warm and comforting, it was cold and deadly, and threatened to strangle him. He opened his mouth to speak, to call for Maddox, but his words would not come.

His path is larger than you. If you stand in his way, then you will die.

Varia grit his teeth, fists clenching at his side, but he could not move. He could not scream. He was at Her complete mercy so suddenly. Maddox’s blood had given Her strength, and now She had come for him, to threaten him. To warn him.

Then, a pulse of shadow left his body. The frost melted from his clothes and the mist was pushed back and away, leaving his lungs and no longer searing his flesh where it touched. He heard another voice then, in that same language he did not understand. This voice was not Her, though. It was Dor’Goth. He spoke proud, strong, not sounding like a demon who was meant to be slumbering, who was bound so tightly he would be unable to exert any power. Then the voice spoke to him, cooing mockingly.

She thinks herself so powerful. She is arrogant, She does not believe we can harm her. She is nothing without the ice.

The shadows that pushed her back suddenly swarmed him, enveloping him and blinding him to the chasm, to Maddox. He felt warmth, then cold. That same, familiar cold, though it did not hurt. It was an Arcturian cold, one he longed for, but it felt different, distant. Like ice carried on a breeze.

When Varia opened his eyes, he was no longer in the caves, or even in Nihal. He was in Mal’Dyr, in Arcturus, but not as he knew it. The keep was free of ice, well lit, warm. There were people moving about the halls, dressed in colorful, yet heavy furs. The walls of the keep were decorated, the rugs lining the hallways and the rooms were not old and devoid of color, but bright and crisp. It was such an odd sight, such a contrast to the cold and dark keep, with no one beyond him and several thin and grey men and women who were assigned to keep the Councilman’s wing clean.

Varia stared in awe as the vision before him followed a man dressed in regal furs and leathers, carrying a bundle of furs into the lower reaches of the keep. He had no access to those places when he returned to Mal’Dyr, the tunnel leading down there was collapsed, the ice clung to the stones and made them near impossible to move. He did not care, he did not need to go down, could not even if he wished to. Now he followed, watched the man before him, who looked so familiar, yet was a stranger still.

He looks like Maddox.

The golden hair was the first indication that this man was perhaps related to Maddox. The green in his eyes, though darker, deeper than the emerald that glittered from Maddox’s, was still similar enough. But there were other things. The straight nose, the same lips, the same cut of the jaw. He was weaker looking than Maddox, older. The golden hair was brushed with silver, shorter than Maddox kept his, and tussled around a thin crown made of the dark stone that could be pulled from the Wall of the Sun. He felt a pang of something in his chest, the sight of the man reminding him so much of Maddox. Where was Maddox? He was alone here, was his body still in the caves? Was Maddox safe?

He was pulled from his thoughts when the bundle in the man’s hands squirmed and made a small noise. It was a baby, he realized. Where was he taking the baby?

Soon, the stairs gave way to a large and mostly empty room. There were sconces on the wall, and they illuminated when the man entered. In the center of the room stood an altar, with a crystal bowl sat atop it. The room itself was frozen, and looked like the Mal’Dyr Varia recognized. But he did not recognize this place, nor did he recognize the way it felt. He could not feel the warmth of the upper portions of the keep. Here, he could feel the cold again, he could feel the ground shifting though he was not truly standing there. The man continued forward until he stood before the altar, and lowered the babe into the bowl and stepped back from it.

Then, She appeared before the man, stepping from the mist covering the far wall as if it were a curtain. She was alien, with skin pale like snow, with a hint of blue. Her eyes were wide like a predators, blue, gold and swimming with galaxies and lights. Her hair was electric blue, drifting around her body as if suspended in the water. She was taller than any human could be, and though she did not wear any clothing that could be seen, her body flowed into smooth curves. Her skin shifted colors in the dim light of the sconces, arrays of colors, purples and blues, greens and oranges. She appeared like the skies over Arcturus, on the rare occasion the heavy clouds lifted and the light of the moon reflected against the snow and ice. She was beautiful in an odd way, in a way no human could be.

And she reeked of danger, just as Dor’Goth did.

The man lowered his head as She approached the child, brushing pointed and long fingers down its body, inspecting it. She purred, an inhuman sound, sounding more like a predator settling down after a meal. Then Her hand paused over the child and Her gaze lifted to Varia’s. He could feel Her look at him, and for a moment he feared that She could indeed see him.

But, around him there were heavy shadows, wafting and twisting. He was inside of them, realizing then that they obscured him, if he were even visible to begin with, cloaking him within. Then, he heard a voice. A voice he recognized, in a language he also recognized. It was Dor’Goth speaking, murmuring to Her. To Her, not to him. This was not Dor’Goth as he was now, this voice was not inside of his head, it was all around him, echoing softly in the icy tomb. Even the man, who looked like an older Maddox turned his head in the direction Varia was in. He was seeing things through Dor’Goths’ eyes, from that day, whatever that day was. Whatever it meant.

She returned her gaze to the child, and Her eyes widened. It was hard to tell that they had, for even her sclera was the same alien blue. Her claw curled over the child, no longer touching it, and She flinched away. Then, She screamed. It was more a howl, terrifying and demonic. It shook the tomb and the bowl the child was in cracked. The man rushed forward, grasping the child and bundling the babe to his chest when the bowl cracked. The altar snapped in half, crumbling to the ground and vanishing into that same mist that threatened to choke him before. The shadows around him grew thicker, beginning to swim through his vision.

She howled again, forked fingers grasping at Her hair. The keep rumbled again, the ice crackling along the walls, spreading from the room and into the hallway. The tunnel shuddered behind them, and the man turned to run. Behind Varia’s point of vision, he could hear stones crashing down as the tunnel collapsed.

Then, there was darkness. The shadows consumed him completely, and he was suddenly staring into a pair of crimson eyes.

We could slay Her if we wished. Together.

Varia shuddered a breath. He could only see the red of Dor’Goths eyes, the darkness pulsing and churning around him. He did not speak, and Dor’Goth cackled.

No, you are too weak. You could not.

Varia pinched his eyes closed, and when they opened again he was staring up into Maddox’s face. He was propped in the tunnel, just outside of the chasm where Maddox offered his blood. Maddox was shaking him, eyes wide and fearful. When Maddox saw he was awake, he let a long breath leave him, lowering his head to rest against Varia’s shoulder.

“Shit… are you alright? What happened? What did you see?” He asked, lurching back once more to watch Varia’s face, his voice quick and panicked.

Varia licked his lips, opening his mouth to speak, before closing it once more. What had he seen? Was it Dor’Goth showing him? Was it Her? He had many questions, too many, and he was not certain Maddox could answer them, or if he would answer truthfully.

The child… what happened to the child? Why had She screamed? The fear on the man’s face was intense, burned into Varia’s mind. The look of betrayal, the mournful and rage filled wail that had left Her still echoed in his mind.

“N-Nothing. I saw nothing.” Varia lied, rubbing a hand over his face, lifting his arm to inspect the armor where the frost had been. It was gone then, though the mist lingered just outside of the tunnel.

“She spoke to me. She threatened to kill me.” Varia said, honestly then, his eyes returning to Maddox’s.

He watched the captains face fall into horror, and then to rage, and then it slipped into that icy façade that he could not quite read. “The longer She sleeps, the more possessive She becomes. She is worried that I will not complete my journey, that you will turn me from it.”

It sounded like truth. It lined up with what She said to him. The coldness in Maddox’s eyes gave him a chill, but he did not think that anger was for him.

Varia snorted, letting his head flop back against the cave wall. It was cool, but it was the cool of Nihal underground. It was not the same cold that he felt in the chasm, nor the cold he felt in the vision. “I am quite tired of speaking to demons.”

His eyes closed, and he felt Maddox’s fingers curl around his own. Maddox chuckled softly, though it sounded forced, tired. Varia sighed, then spoke again, softer this time. “Dor’Goth also spoke to me.”

Maddox’s fingers tightened, and when Varia looked to him, Maddox’s face was open once again. This time, it was fear, disbelief. He leant back on his heels, staring down at Varia with a furrowed brow. He was calculating, Varia realized, he did not believe him, but Varia was no liar and Maddox knew that.

Then it was Maddox who opened his mouth to speak, hesitating slightly before the words left him. “There is no way. He would still be in a slumber, so soon after a binding.”

“Dor’Goth spoke to me, and chased Her from me.” Varia reaffirmed.

Maddox stared at Varia, and he pulled his hand back, rubbing it down his face, then allowing it to clasp with his other on his lap. He looked concerned, that shell he wore so often shattered with no indication of return. Maddox dropped his gaze to the hands in his lap for a moment, his brow creased with his unease. Varia did not know if he was more concerned that She spoke to him, and threatened him, or of his assertion that Dor’Goth was awake enough to speak and to exert power.

Then, Maddox lifted his gaze to Varia’s once more, his face not cold, but firm.

“I would like to speak with him. I would like to speak with Dor’Goth.”