-Maddox-

The Vessel of Ytthar was a magnificent ship. Named for the Nihalian God of trade and goods, it carried silks and grain, spices and silver. It also carried Er Rian weapons to Nihal, for their continued fight against Arcturus. It was one of the larger ships Maddox traveled on, and he was impressed with the sheer stability of it on the water. They were met with favorable winds and currents, and if they continued they would arrive in P’helle in less than two turns of the moon.

Traveling across the ocean with his men meant they used many ships, many smaller ships than a galleon. Galleons were too slow for what they needed, too large, too fragile when faced with storms. Traveling with the traders and merchants aboard the Vessel of Ytthar was a nice change.

Maddox stood upon the deck, near the beakhead, allowing several sailors to move past him to work the sails of the bowsprit. They were not yet close to Nihal, but the air already began to grow drier, warmer. Cithrel lay across his back, humming softly, as if calling out for Nihal and the magic trapped under the sands there. At his side he kept Daylors sword, and would continue to use it when Cithrel was a danger to use. Both of his friends were with him now.

The sea shone gold with waves the colors of the dawn. Already they were on the sea for several days, and not a single other ship was sighted. They have sailed past several small islands, but they have no stopped. The captain explained that they would not stop unless they were met with storms and needed repairs. Stopping meant death if an Arcturian caravel spotted them. If they continued to move, even if spotted by Arcturians or pirates, they could out run them. Galleons, with sails in the wind, were surprisingly quick for their size.

Maddox turned his head, his eyes falling on where Varia stood in the shadows of the cabin, hunched over a map, furiously scribbling on parchment. Sabre was yet to agree to ask him what route he felt they should take through Nihal, nor was Varia aware of the plan Sabre was crafting. Clearly Varia had his own idea of how they should traverse the sands, or rather, below them.

Varia was clearly feeling the growing heat of Nihal. He forwent his armor and cloak, wearing instead simple trousers and a short sleeved tunic. His hair was pulled from his face and tied up away from his neck. His sword was tied around his waist, and his dagger was tucked into the hem of his trousers. He looked absolutely miserable in the sun, and it would only get worse.

Maddox watched him with amusement, and nearly stepped towards him, but stopped when Brom emerged from the cabin instead and close to Varia. They traveled together now for nearly two moons, and their journey would also take about the same amount of time. The Leguii sea was small compared to others, but their path would take them over 1600 leagues. They would spend much time together on the ship.

Maddox watched Brom speak quietly with Varia, watched the tilt of Varia’s head to indicate he was listening. He was too far to hear, but amused all the same. Much had changed since the beginning of their journey together, but Brom’s loyalty to Varia had not. He wondered what poison his brother whispered to Varia, what he was saying that particular day to drive them against each other once more. As if they needed more reason to be wary of one another.

Brom lifted his gaze and his eyes met Maddox’s. Maddox held his gaze, his own growing cold and distant. Brom was his brother, but he never felt like a brother to him. They did not know one another, did not trust one another. That was to be expected, Maddox sent him away to Arcturus, to Varia’s side. Brom held no lover for him, and that was Maddox’s fault.

At the thought, Maddox turned his gaze back to their path ahead. Guilt again. He was feeling that so often lately, a feeling that he was unused to and one that he did not welcome.

He heard someone stand beside him, and turned with a half smirk, thinking Varia joined him finally. He was surprised to see Brom instead, and a bit disappointed. Varia was busying himself lately with drawing battle plans and writing what he remembered from the plans Arcturus made with him.

Brom leant against the railing next to Maddox, chewing the tip of his thumb and gazing out over the ocean. He stay quiet for a long moment, though Maddox was not fooled. Brom did not want to just bask in his presence, he likely had many questions and accusations.

“Why have you not reached out to the cell? Surely you’ll want them to know you live so they can support our quest.” Brom asked quietly.

Maddox sighed, his gaze tilting up to the sky briefly, before he shook his head. “The cell will no longer be of use to us. They will only get in the way.”

Brom scoffed a chuckle in disbelief, shooting a scathing glare at his brother. “How long has it been since you split with them?”

Maddox was certainly less surprised than he should be that Brom knew, or figured it out. Brom was skilled in espionage. Like Sabre, it was his job to know things. It was a lie, or a lack of truth, that was never going to be able to last. He knew this, though speaking about it now, stuck on a ship with Brom for several moons was not an ideal place to admit he allowed Brom to think one thing, while his own actions went another way.

Maddox leant against the railing next to Brom, staring off in the same direction as him. He owed him a bit of honesty, at least. “It has been many years. Nearly a decade, I think. I was in Nihal, fighting Varia still when I split from them.”

Brom hummed, then spoke again. His voice was calm and soft, but Maddox could feel him practically vibrating with anger. “Did you ever plan to tell me? Did you ever plan to tell me that all I was doing for Varia was for nothing?”

“It was not for nothing. The purpose I had for you was still the same. My plan relied on Varia being brought into the fold, onto my side. Your job was the same it had always been.” Maddox stated, speaking slowly, clearly, calmly. He could not react in anger to Brom, or with emotion. Brom was already teetering on the edge.

“If the cell no longer has use of us, they will hunt us. You have made yet another enemy.” Brom murmured.

Maddox sighed, swallowing the urge to laugh. Everyone would be his enemy before long. That was always part of the plan. “You’re right. It is best if they do not know that we are not only alive, but together.”

The cell would still seek to contain Varia. They would seek to cage Varia, to use him as their weapon. Without Maddox, they had no other option. But even before they were unable to get close. Without Maddox, Varia was untouchable. Even in Nihal, Maddox was unable to target Varia and kill him, or capture him. In Maddox’s case, he had to wade through the Legion to reach Varia, and that was near impossible. For the cell, they would have to get through Maddox.

Brom turned hateful eyes to Maddox, his jaw tightened in anger. “What do you intend to do with him once you are through using him?”

Maddox nearly rolled his eyes, sucking his teeth. Brom did as much as he in bringing Varia to his side. He did more, even. “That depends on Varia. If Varia choses to stand in my way, then I will kill him.”

Brom barked a mocking laugh, turning to face Maddox properly, holding his arms out. “Do you think you will be able to? You have never been able to kill him. Even without my interference, you would be unable.”

Maddox eyed Brom cautiously, then glanced over his shoulder towards Varia. Varia stood near the map, though now his eyes were on the pair of them. Varia tilted his chin towards Maddox, and a smile flickered across Maddox’s lips.

“You’re right. He is more than my equal. I hope it does not come down to that.”

Brom was quiet for a moment, his eyes moving to where Varia stood as well, before he turned back to the ocean with a huff.

“Do you trust me?”

Brom’s question was a surprise, and one Maddox did not anticipate. He anticipated many fights, but not… that. Maddox stared at him, unsure how to answer him. Brom was his little brother, and he loved him. But Brom was a spy, and was loyal to Varia above him. Varia was his enemy until just recently, and their alliance was shaky at best.

“No.” Maddox was honest, more honest than he had been with Brom, even just before. That was truth.

Brom’s brow creased, hurt flashing across his features. Such an odd change from the spy Maddox now knew. Brom braced both hands on the railing, leaning down to gaze at the hull of the ship.

“Will your secret goal affect me?” He asked quietly.

“It will affect everyone.” Maddox admitted.

Brom looked back to Varia, then again to Maddox. “Does this new world you plan to create have room for men like Varia?”

Maddox hesitated, his gaze turning back to Varia. Varia was no longer paying attention to them, or at least no longer appeared to pay attention. He was tracing small fingers over the map, rubbing beads of sweat from his brow. Varia was born in violence, molded by it. He was not actively murdering people now, but Nihal would be a challenge for him. He led the war in Nihal for nearly two decade, killed many people. So many people. He was so young when he first traveled there, was raised by the violence and depravity of war.

I do not know if he is able to be saved…

Maddox did not answer, just staring at Varia in silence. He would need to have room for men like Varia. He too was like Varia. If his world had room for him, then it would have room for Varia… but not Varia as he was now. He would need to change, he would need to be better than what Arcturus wanted him to be. As would Maddox.

“Your silence tells me everything I need to know.” Broms voice snapped him from his thoughts, and he watched Brom turn and storm away.

Maddox sighed, running his hands over his face and turning back to the sea. Brom took the news of his split from the cell better than he thought he would. Brom already considered him to be an enemy, the cell likely mattered little to him. The cell was simply a way to assure that Varia would remain alive, but if the cell turned on Varia, like they most likely would, Brom would stand by him. Brom was not there out of love for his brother, nor out of a need to do what was right. He was there for Varia, and he would continue to do what he felt was best for his commander.

Maddox turned his head when another body joined him in leaning against the railing, unsurprised to see Varia. A smile flickered across his lips, and he gazed out over the sea again. “Has my brother asked you to kill me, yet?”

Varia snorted, in what suspiciously sounded like a laugh. “He has been suggesting that since the beginning.” Varia mused, tilting his head to Maddox. “It’s odd, really. He protected you from me for so long, and now he openly urges me to kill you. Now that I’m here, as he wanted.”

“This is not what he wanted.” Maddox reminded, then turned his head as well. “Have you considered taking him up on his suggestion?”

“I have. If I were not certain that I would need your help in returning to Arcturus, I would have killed you long before any of this happened.” Varia admitted. Always the honest one. Varia was many things, but a liar was not one of them.

“So long as I am useful to you, I am better off alive.” Maddox agreed, a playful tone, but honesty in his words.

“It is the same for me. I am useful to you, and that is why I am still alive.” Varia said.

“That was always the plan. If I were able, I would have taken you captive long ago and used you before we became allies like we are now.” Maddox admitted. He found it hard to lie to Varia, even though the lies fell from his lips when he spoke to anyone else.

“Why did you so viciously fight me then?” Varia asked, and though his voice remained impassive as always, it held an edge of amusement that he seemed to only reserve for Maddox.

“Would have you allowed yourself to become my captive if I asked you nicely?” Maddox asked, his lips pulling back in a grin.

Varia snorted, then shrugged a shoulder. “You make a good point. If you had asked me to do anything nicely, I would have removed your head from your shoulders.”

Maddox chuckled, then gazed down towards the ocean splitting around the hull. “Before you fell into my lap, you were better off dead. There was no way to turn things on Arcturus so long as they continued to stand on your shoulders. Arcturus dug their own grave when they sought to kill you.”

Varia was quiet then, staring out to the sea. It was a sore spot still, the betrayal. He still blamed Maddox for part of it. Maddox found it odd that Varia still wished none of this happened, that he still commanded the Arcturians. That he wished to have never left them.

But he also understood. Varia feared change, as he did. He was never free, even now, Maddox held his shackles. Maddox dangled the key before him, but like everything it came with a price. Varia was complacent, for now, but the prospect of freedom is daunting when you know nothing of it. He found himself wishing, despite his actions, that Varia would seek freedom, not in death. He wished he would stay by his side once this was over, to lead Arcturus into a new era.

He wished to say that, to assure Varia, but the conversation of Varia’s freedom always ended with Varia arguing for death. He did not wish to discuss that, and so he remained quiet.

The silence dragged on for quite a while, and Maddox again found himself surprised at how comfortable the silence between them could be. He felt at peace, safe even. He was used to Varia’s quietness now, and though he felt at peace when they sat like that, he wondered what Varia felt. Varia was often in his own head, twisting his thoughts into dark ones. He was never able to express himself the way he ought to, the way he should be able to do. Maddox wished he could help him, to become that person Varia needed.

“Why have I not been asked to assist in charting our course through Nihal?” Varia broke the silence, and Maddox returned his full attention to him.

“Sabre has taken offence to the idea any time I mention it.” Maddox admitted with a half shrug.

“I know Southern Nihal well. I lived there for a great many years, traveled the sands. I know the lay of the land, the way the weather shifts, the best paths to travel. I also know where a great many Arcturians camp when they are in the sands. I am useful here, you should use my knowledge.” Varia insisted, selling himself.

He did not need to tell Maddox all of those things, Maddox was well aware of how comfortable and deadly Varia was in Nihal. “You are, and we should. But Sabre does not like to be reminded that half of his country is still under Arcturian occupation because of your actions.”

Varia turned his gaze to Maddox then, cocking an eyebrow at him. “What I did in Nihal was a great accomplishment. Many thought it impossible, especially for one as young as I.” His tone was prideful, arrogant. It reminded him of the commander Varia was, reminded him that Varia was an accomplished warrior.

Maddox would agree it was impressive, but the thought of so many lives…

“You killed many Varia, soldiers and civilians alike to gain that ground and to learn the land. It was a great accomplishment if you ignore the blood you spilled.”

Varia tilted his chin to Maddox, eyebrows raised. “War is ugly.”

Maddox scowled to Varia. The casualness he spoke with angered him. Varia killed hundreds of thousands of people, either directly by him and his men, or as a result of the campaign. It was impressive how much land he claimed for Arcturus, but the lives lost should not be spoken of so… casually.

“You should not be proud to kill unarmed men, women and children. It does not matter which country they live in.” Maddox hissed.

Varia narrowed his eyes, turning to face Maddox properly. Maddox turned to face him as well, and though they stood close, they felt far apart. “You too have slain a great deal of people, including civilians of Nihal in a desperate attempt to stop my march.”

“I made sacrifices that were necessary to save more lives from you.” Maddox responded, shoulders back and head high.

“And did it work? Did you stop me from moving on and killing more of those people?” Varia asked, in such a venomous tone that Maddox nearly hit him. “Those people you killed, the villages you razed, the crops you burned did nothing to stop me. I continued on and gained even more ground, despite your effort.”

Maddox stared hard at Varia, and Varia stared hard back. The blood in Nihal was rising once more, threatening to push them apart and sweep them away in the current. Varia was right. What he had done did not work. It never did, and Maddox was forced many times to retreat despite doing what needed to be done at the time. He could not stop him, he could not frighten him.

Maddox’s eyes lowered to Varia’s sword. Varia’s hand was casually draped over the hilt of it, though his fingers brushed against it. He was tense, ready for a fight. Beyond a sword, Varia was not unarmed. They were not on solid ground, and there was a great many dark and shadowy spots on the ship. Anytime Maddox fought Varia in the past, his advantage was open ground. Fighting Varia, a Varia intent to kill, in a confined space was suicide. He was outmatched here on the ocean, and Varia knew it too.

Will Nihal be what destroys our alliance? Our odd relationship?

A great many things could, and would threaten what they had, what they found together. Nihal was one, if not the most, dangerous one for them. Beyond Arcturus, Nihal held relevance to both of them, and it carried their history together on the sands. A bloody and long history, one Maddox wished he could forget.

Maddox snapped his gaze from Varia and turned back to the ocean, staring out over it though he was not thinking of the beauty. “No, it did not stop you. I underestimated you too often, for too long after I met you.”

He heard Varia shift, and felt that tension wane a bit.

“I am not… proud of the things I did in my pitiful attempts to slow you. If I saw another way, I would have taken it instead.” He admitted, his voice low.

Varia turned as well, standing next to Maddox once more rather than facing him. He no longer appeared as relaxed, as casual as he was before. Maddox wondered if that was their future.

“Many men underestimated me for a long time. Elder Zeale underestimated me recently. No one has done that in a very long time… it was almost refreshing to be seen as weak once again.” Varia murmured, allowing that tension to slide off of them, hopefully for a while longer.

Maddox snorted, shaking his head. “Zeale did not see you as weak. She saw you as a danger… though I admit she underestimated just how dangerous you are.”

Maddox sighed then, chewing his lips. He still felt tense, ready for a fight. He could feel Cithrel trembling over his back, eager to taste Varia’s blood. He needed for Varia to know that he appreciated him, that he valued him as a warrior and a commander.

“How do you think we should travel? How should we move through Nihal? I assume you will mention the damned caves.”

Varia snorted, tilting his head towards Maddox. “Aye, the caves are the easiest way to move about, undetected. I moved many troops through the caves, entire regiments sometimes. Moving a party of four will not be difficult, and we will make remarkable time. We will be spared from the sun, and a great many people.” Varia said, then looked to Maddox, his brow creasing briefly. “The further south we move, though, traveling underground will be difficult. Arcturus will still be using them as well, and we may come across them far sooner than we wish to.”

Maddox looked to Varia as well, catching a flash of fear and hopelessness in his gaze. “How do you plan to handle any Legion we may cross?” He asked softly.

Varia’s jaw clenched, and he turned his gaze from him. He considered quietly for a long moment. “The Legion, for now, is the enemy. I will deal with them as I would deal with any other enemy in my path.” He didn’t sound convinced, and Maddox was not confident that he would be able to fight men he spent his life with.

“Is it not wise to begin spreading word that you live? We could summon them to you now.” Maddox offered, though he knew it was not a reasonable suggestion.

“No, it is too soon. The earlier Arcturus learns of our being alive, the further they will move Legion, especially the ones they see as loyal, back. If they hear that I am alive, and that I’m moving south towards them with you of all people, they will close the coastline, and leave us unable to reach them, or the Legion. Beyond that, they will likely kill my most… vocal supporters.” Varia said, and Maddox had the idea that there was much more than that. Varia had likely thought of this many times.

But Maddox was unsure that Legion would allow Arcturus to keep them from Varia, if they wanted to go to him. Their only way of forcing compliance was through Legion. Legion would split, half for Arcturus and half for Varia, but many would likely not fight one another. If Varia declared himself against Arcturus, many in the Legion would be embolden and do the same.

“You make your point clear. We will remain anonymous.” Maddox conceded, then sighed once more. “Though, anonymity will be difficult in Nihal. We both have spent a significant amount of our lives there, and we are both recognized by many people, even those who have never seen or met us.”

Varia hummed, but did not respond. Maddox remained quiet for a moment as well, before casting his eyes over Varia. They traveled from the ruffled mane of black atop his head, to the tip of his strong nose, down his lips and jaw. How did Varia look the way he did? How was he able to ignore it for so long? He wondered how many others waited for Varia to return to them… how many others have seen him in the manner he had.

No one likely knows Varia as I do…

Even Brom, who loved Varia deeply, did not know the Varia that Maddox knew. The man that challenged Maddox on everything he did, every move he made. The man who, when he decided to concede and allow Maddox a victory, made him feel more accomplished than he ever had, and ever would feel. No one knew that Varia, the Varia that would allow another to feel for him, to feel something in return. No one knew the way Varia could look, the intimate touch he could give.

Maddox turned his gaze to the ocean. People knew the Varia that Arcturus held. The Varia who was destructive, cold, evil. The Varia that Arcturus wanted, that they needed. The Varia that would have taken the world for them. He needed that Varia too, but he would ask for much less than the world.

He only needed his birthright, and once he was restored, and She was restored, he would free Varia. He had to free Varia, to prove to him that all he’s done for no reward was seen, even those things he did that went against him. Varia used to be an obstacle, standing between him and his birthright, the shadow keeping his throne from him. He could still ruin everything. He could deny Maddox his birthright, he could destroy Her as a result of that, and he could bring Arcturus to absolute ruin, and subsequently, the entire world.

He put much trust in Varia and his desire to be free from Arcturus, but Varia was Arcturus. He was everything Arcturus, everything they were, everything they hoped to be. Bringing Varia to his side was the first step, keeping him there was the final step. If Varia were to think that what Maddox was doing was wrong, he could stop him. The people did not know Maddox. The Legion knew him, and hated him. Varia was the one who could bring the people and the Legion to him. Varia could assure his reign, and assure that the people would follow.

Or he could tear it all from him. If the people had an option, they would choose for Varia to wear the crown. They would not choose Maddox. He was a rival in that sense, not just a former enemy commander, but a rival to his throne and birthright, even if he did not know it. He needed to make certain that Varia would not wish for that power. He needed to hold him at arm’s length, but he needed to keep him close all the same. He needed his support, and though he stood with him now, he did not have that yet. He only stayed to seek revenge on those who harmed him.

And Maddox worried that he too would harm Varia. That he would become indistinguishable from the Council. He would lose Arcturus if he did, and he would lose Varia. The consequences of losing varia were deeper than before. Beyond his quest and his throne, he would lose Varia as a man. He would lose the man he wished to stand beside him. He needed Varia. To keep him in check, to keep him in line. He needed to be there to remind Maddox that he was not all powerful, that there was another who could fell him should he chose to.

Nihal would try to tear them apart. The sands covered so much blood, bodies of friends and soldiers. His friends and soldiers, Varia’s friends and soldiers. The reminder of Varia’s cruelty was etched onto the face of every Nihalian, and Maddox would be reminded of the 20 year war they fought against one another. In Er Rai it was easier to ignore. In Er Rai, he could look upon Varia as something other than the Demon of Arcturus. Nihal was Varia’s element. In Nihal, Varia would be comfortable, and surrounded by Legion able and willing to come to his aid and heed him. Varia was a danger in Er Rai, and he would be more so in Nihal.

Arcturus would be close as well, not just the Legion. He was still unsure if Varia was strong enough to allow himself to resist their call. If he could not be swayed by them. Varia was not wholly on his side yet. They shared a bed, and they spoke to one another as kin, as lovers, but Arcturus’ abuse would follow Varia always. They tormented him, tortured him, and made him desperate to return to them. Varia could revert, and with the demon living inside of him now, Arcturus may be keen to lure him back. To place him once again, between Maddox and Arcturus.

Maddox turned suddenly, facing Varia properly. He did not often display his affection anywhere beyond the bedroom, or where ever they lay together. Varia would simply not allow it, but before they set foot on the sands, he needed Varia to know. To understand what he simply couldn’t find words for.

Maddox moved in on Varia, sliding his arms around the commander. Varia looked to him, eyes widened with alarm when Maddox pressed against him, pinning him to the side of the ship.

“Release me!” Varia hissed, attempting to wiggle free but to no avail.

Maddox leant his head down, nibbling at the soft flesh of his neck. “I am worried about what will become of us once we reach Nihal.” He murmured, amused by Varia’s adamant protest to being shown affection in such a public area.

“If you do not release me at once, then you will not need to concern yourself with Nihal for I will cast you into the sea and leave you to sink!” Varia spat, writhing against Maddox’s grip like a child would.

Maddox chuckled, pressing his body against Varia, leaning his weight on him. He brushed lips against Varia’s ear. “I will not allow you to fall, so long as you do not allow me to fall.” He whispered, and Varia’s struggles ceased, though he did not return the embrace.

Maddox leant back, giving Varia a small bit of distance, but kept his arms around him, and their bodies flush. “I am scared of where we are going, and what we may remember.” He admitted earnestly.

Varia stared up at him, though his face was flushed and his scowl was increased by Maddox’s closeness. He licked his lips, his eyes shifting behind Maddox briefly, before returning to lock with his own. “I am… afraid of that as well. It has been heavy on my mind.” He whispered.

Maddox breathed a sigh, leaning forward and pressing his forehead against Varia’s, holding him there. He closed his eyes, breathing in deeply, drawing in the scent of the man before him. A man who caused so much pain and anger, yet gave so much peace and contentment. “I will not fight you. I need you, and I need to remember that I do once we are on the sands. Sands that we both have killed on.”

Varia closed his eyes as well, listening. He did not respond, but small hands lifted to grasp Maddox’s arms, squeezing his biceps.

They stood like that for a long while, until the wind shifted and more of the crew joined them on the deck to adjust sails. Only then did Maddox released Varia. He brushed his hand down Varia’s cheek, catching a lock of hair between his fingers. He turned, moving into the cabin they were given. Varia paused, and then joined him.

***

Several days passed, uneventful. A light storm brought rain and allowed Maddox and Varia an excuse to stay in the cabin, tangled with each other for the entire day. Sabre enjoyed the crew, and took to spending his days below deck with them, despite the cramped conditions. He preferred it, and avoided Varia when he could. Brom spent much of his time wandering the decks, sitting upon the mainmast and gazing towards their destination.

Maddox missed his friend, and when the weather allowed Varia to escape him, he too used the opportunity to wander below deck to where Sabre was lurking.

He found him regaling several sailors with tales of Nihal. Grand tales of their conquests in many cities, of their tavern brawls and of the many brothels they visited. He stood for a moment, listening to the tales and taking note of the things Sabre left out. The blood, the horrors, he did not speak of those. They did not make for good stories to men who knew nothing of war.

When Sabre noticed him, he sent the soldiers away, then gestured to the empty hammock across from the one he lay in. Maddox sat in it, wobbly for a moment, before he sighed, running his hands over his face.

“Do you trust me, Sabre?” He asked quite suddenly.

Sabre shot a look to Maddox, eyebrows raised. He snorted out a laugh, folding his arms behind his head and looking to the boards of the ceiling above them. “I trust you will not allow me to die, yes. I perhaps even trust you a bit more than I trust others, but I do not trust anyone completely. You included, golden boy.”

Maddox stared at Sabre, unamused by his laugh, unamused by his words. He knew it was true, and knew that Sabre should not trust him anyway. It was also in his nature as a politician and an intelligence officer. He would be devastated to lose Sabre, and should be thankful that he has stayed as long as he has.

He closed his eyes, tilting his head back, and reached out with his energy, hoping to find the cold.

The cold answered, sending a shiver down his back, and the soft voice of a woman in his ear. It was weak, distant, but it was there. Maddox opened his eyes again, looking back to his friend.

“I know this is not to your liking, or to Broms even, but if you keep your promise and get me to the ice, I will end the wars. All of them. I am asking you once again to blindly trust me. The only defense I have of that, is that I have not led you astray yet.” Maddox spoke again, his tone serious.

Sabre closed his eyes, a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. He considered his words, before he spoke once more, sounding much too happy for the conversation they were having. “Brom is more unhappy with you than I am. He will attempt to separate you and his demon master by whatever means he can muster. I also wish for that, though I do not think that Varia should be allowed to run about unchecked.”

Sabre finally opened his eyes, turning his head to Maddox, his smirk gone. “I do not want you to forget who he is. He is the Demon of Arcturus, and he has blood on his hands.”

Maddox opened his mouth to speak, but Sabre continued instead. “You spoke of a woman when you were in your fever sleep, back with Halan. We were all there, we all heard it. Brom tried to convince Varia to cut your throat right then and there, though to the demons credit, he refused. I am also concerned. If you have a wife waiting for you in Arcturus, bringing Varia with you will certainly complicate an already complicated matter.”

Maddox smiled, a small, strange smile. He felt himself opening up to Sabre, more than he ever had before. That was the power of Sabre, and Maddox would allow him to take at least a bit of information from him this day. “Do you believe that I have never loved another like I love the mysterious woman?”

Sabre shrugged, scoffing. “You love no one… though you sounded especially desperate to reach whoever she is.”

“Is that how you see me? As someone who does not love, cannot love?” Maddox wondered out loud, before smiling to his friend again. “You are wrong on all accounts. She is a dear wife, a mother, a sister and a friend. She is awaiting my return, and when I return with Varia, She will help in freeing him. She awaits us both.” A laugh bubbled from him, and he leant forward on his knees. “Do you think I chose to trust Varia based only on Brom’s say so?”

Maddox shook his head, gazing at Sabre with amusement. “Brom will not like it, even if I tell him the truth. I’ve lived with him on the opposite side our entire lives. As long as you keep faith and stay with me, I will not fail.”

I cannot fail, in any case, even if Sabre leaves. It will be easier with him. His connections and knowledge is valuable…

He spoke in half-truths to Sabre still, though he was more open than he ever was. He did love Her, though not in the way Sabre suggested. He loved Her as his mother, his caretaker. By blood She was both, the wife of his blood line, the mother of his blood line. His affair with Varia would cause no issue for either, for neither was a threat to the other in that primal way Sabre suggested.

But Varia was a threat to Her and Her survival. The threat of Maddox abandoning his quest to run away with Varia was a real one, and one She expressed to him often. She was a threat to Varia, for She knew his power and knew him to be useful. She would stand between Varia and his freedom, if Maddox allowed her to.

Both would be wrong, but only time would convince them of that.

Maddox looked to his hands, a grin on his lips. “Varia is not the only one with blood on his hands, Sabre. Justified or not, enemies or not, we are bathed in it just the same. When we draw our last breaths and stand before the gods and jurors of death, we will be judged the same as he.”

Sabre snorted, anger briefly crossing his face. He gazed at his friend, his tone finally taking on a more serious one, given the nature of their conversation. “My faith in you has not waivered, though I’m afraid the secretive nature of your quest is drawing my patience thin. I have kept your secret safe long before I ever met you, yet you cannot trust me with the truth of things.”

Sabre sat up, flinging his legs over the side of his hammock, facing Maddox. His face was stern, serious, not an expression he wore often. Maddox sighed, knowing that he was going to be scolded.

“I know what awaits us in Nihal, and Arcturus, if we even make it that far.” Sabre said, ruffling his hair. “The Legion still controls half of my country, and they will welcome their commander back to them. Varia is weak, and he will turn on us and return to what he knows. Varid does not trust us, and you should not trust him as much as you do.”

Sabre tapped his foot to Maddox, drawing Maddox’s gaze back to his own. “We are no longer in the Graves. We no longer have the protection of the trees. Varia is capable now of killing us, and he knows it. Your cock is not so magical that he would forget.”

Maddox mulled Sabres words, leaning over his knees and allowing his gaze to turn to the floor again. He feels the same, thinks the same… but it’s paranoid. Varia has not killed them because he needs them. Varia will not kill them.

“There are things that Varia knows better than the Legion and violence. It is by those things that I will bind him to me.” Maddox spoke, his voice soft, quiet.

He was not denying what Sabre said. The safeguards they had in place to keep Varia docile and amiable were gone. He did not believe it was his cock that would placate Varia, there was more than what Sabre or Brom realized or acknowledged. More had gone on in the Graves than they saw.

Perhaps not explicitly, but Varia did trust him, and he Varia. Through their previous hate they understood each other better than others knew them.

Besides, it was not only Maddox calling to Varia, and the closer they drew to Arcturus, the stronger Her call would become.

Maddox sighed, then stood proper, gazing down at Sabre with fondness. “Varia is drawing up routes to take us through Nihal. I am certain Varia is taking care to use every possible underground passage that he knows, for no reason other than to spite me.”

Sabre scowled, lowering his head and sliding his boot against a dusting of dirt. “I suppose it makes the most sense to have him find our route… I’ve never been a foreigner in Nihal. I’ve never had to sneak about. The foreign invader would know the best routes, though I hope he avoids civilians this time around.” His tone was spiteful, and sad.

“He will not have free reign of your country, Sabre.” Maddox assured, placing a hand on his friends’ shoulder, before he turned, jogging the stairs to return to the deck.

The moment he stepped into the sun and ocean spray, he could hear Varia’s voice, low, but angry, stern. Commanding. He turned his head and found him standing before Brom. Brom had his head lowered, appearing to be ashamed. Varia stood, his arms folded across his chest, seeming much larger than he actually was.

“How am I meant to trust you over your brother? You lied to me for over a decade before. Sowing distrust in others is one of your specialties.” The words were loaded, daring Brom to argue with him, daring him to do anything besides stand and bow his head.

But Brom lifted his head, his eyes bright with unshed tears, brow creased in shame. He nearly spoke again, despite the aggressive posture and harsh words, but his eyes fell on Maddox and hardened. He stood before Varia, though his eyes locked on Maddox, accusing, as if this were all his fault.

It is my fault, I suppose. But this was needed, and he knows it.

Maddox held his gaze, folding his arms across his chest as well, a silent challenge passing between the pair. Brom finally turned his head to Varia, dipping his head in respect. “Very well, Commander. Trust the man whose only intent has been to kill you, over the liar whose only intent has been to keep you safe.”

Varia briefly turned his head to Maddox, and Brom stepped back from him several feet. When he turned from them, he lingered in the entryway to below deck. “You do not wish to be free of him. You have never wanted to be free of him.” He hissed to his commander, before storming away, below deck.

Once Brom was gone, Maddox moved to stand besides Varia. Varia snorted, not turning his head to him, his icy gaze lingering on the stairs leading below. “He’s wrong.”

Maddox glanced to him, raising his eyebrows, and Varia shrugged a shoulder. “I do wish to be rid of you. I have always wished it. You are a nuisance.”

Maddox chuckled, stepping to stand near the bow, a place he learned he favored, despite the ship being less stable there. He leant down, gazing towards the figurehead. It was the shape of a great hawk, and was probably once white, though it was worn and tanned now from the sun and the splash of waves. Its wings spread out, along the hull and back further. The ship was a light blue, the trim was darker. The gold of the hawks’ eye was polished and taken care of, though the rest was not.

“You do not wish to be rid of me.” Maddox mused, tilting his head up to Varia, who continued to stand in the same spot, not joining him.

“How do you figure?” Varia asked with annoyance in his voice, though by now Maddox could read it as fake.

“If you wished to be rid of me, you have had many opportunities to rid yourself. Brom could not have stopped you if you truly intended to kill me, even before we were allies. And now, you help me. You’ve kept me alive even.” Maddox answered, a smirk on his lips.

Varia rolled his eyes, stepping to stand nearer to him. “You are a foul creature, and I do wish to be rid of you.”

Maddox chuckled, standing up properly and folding his arms mockingly. “I am beginning to like my new nick name.”

“You no longer like Shekrath?” Varia asked, stepping to the side of the ship and spitting over it when he spoke the word.

Maddox groaned, rolling his eyes. “No one has called me that in quite a long time… Can’t say I miss that one, though it is catchy.”

Shekrath, a lovely name made by some Arcturian soldiers that meant ‘son of golden pig whore’. “Who in your masses came up with such a favorable name for me? I’ve always wondered.” Maddox inquired, though he did have an idea of who it was.

“Kia, most likely. He was the first I heard use it, but it could have come from another place.” Varia replied, moving to lean his rear against the railing of the ship.

Maddox rolled his eyes, groaning dramatically. “Of course it would be the meat sack to come up with it. It has his special brand of intelligence, at the very least.”

Varia snorted that odd sound that was likely a laugh, nodding. “Aye, I think so.”

The quite took them for a moment, before Varia glanced to him, his gaze more serious than it had been. “I will attempt to reach him first. I hope he is still in Nihal, and he has not been pulled back to Arcturus, or run off on his own.” Varia admitted.

“Is it possible that he would run off? That doesn’t seem like it’s the nature of the Legion.” Maddox asked, glancing to him.

Varia sighed, glancing to meet his gaze. “It is very possible. Kia remained in the Legion for me. He held no love for Arcturus. Though… that is not something he openly spoke of with me. He made it known, though he would not take me up on my offer to allow him to leave like the other deserters.”

Maddox raised his eyebrows, surprised to hear Varia confirm Halan’s story. “I was not sure if he was being honest when he mentioned those men. You truly let men go?”

“Halan spoke the truth. I would sometimes have to run them down… but if I was able, I would allow them a day to run before I pursued. Sometimes I would… turn a blind eye to missing waterskins, or bread. I wonder how many have made it… I wonder where they went after they escaped…” Varia murmured, though he sounded far away, as if he was not fully in the same conversation as Maddox.

Maddox smiled, watching him, his hand sliding down to brush against Varia’s, though it rested just besides his. “I am constantly surprised by your humanity, Varia. I am glad that Brom was right about you.” He assured softly.

Varia scrunched his nose to Maddox, turning his body to face the water. “I have known for many years that Arcturus is… evil. I understand why people left, why they would take their families and run when they had the chance.”

“Why did you stay?” Maddox asked, turning to face the water as well, leaning against the railing besides him.

“I am the same as Arcturus. Leaving them would be admitting that I still think about the people I’ve killed, that I am haunted by them.” Varia murmured.

Maddox frowned, then gazed out over the see, where the sun began to set before them. “They will always haunt you, Varia. But you can begin to heal by giving others a chance to live, in a world free of war.” He murmured softly.

Varia turned his head towards the sun as well, a heavy sigh leaving him. “We will never be free of war. You and I are not meant for peace, we will never find it.”

Maddox was not as convinced as Varia that the two of them would never find peace. The ship rocked, the sea lapped at the hull while it sliced through the waves. They sailed west into the falling sun, to a place that only brought them death before.

Yet there he stood, next to his former enemy, feeling at peace. He would stand beside Varia still, seeking a path that would bring them horror and cold.

At last, he was no longer alone.