- Varia -

Demons and blood beasts. This journey is bullshit.

Varia was not pleased with the turn of events, any of them. He nearly took solace in the thought he may finally see an elf as an elf should live. Arcturus eradicated the elven population many years ago. There weren’t many left, and those that were served as slaves or worse.

Elves, dragons, dwarves. He was so fascinated by them, but they had always seemed so distant from his life of conquest. Dragons hadn’t existed for a long time, and many thought the dwarves to be extinct as well. The elves may as well have been extinct. They rarely left their forests or their caves to treat with man. Reading was the bridge between his life of war and their life of solitude. Never had he thought he would meet with them, call upon true elves in their own home.

Yet here he was. A demon living within him, no access to his own power, hunks of flesh torn from his calf, leaning upon Brom as he hobbled along after their unwelcoming host.

Daylor led the way, the elves in his party spreading around them in a wide circle. The warrior in Varia told him to watch the elves for any indication they may turn on them. The man naive to the world outside of war camps was eager to gaze around the forest.

Varia’s wanderlust won the inner battle.

Despite his pain, perhaps fueled by a need to focus on something rather than it, Varia gazed around. It was dark, and could have been unbearably so if not for the small lanterns the elves carried. Woven with sticks and vines, he watched as several of their entourage gathered small orbs of light that fluttered nearby to fill the circular lanterns. Varia realized they were insects.

He did not need to worry where he was going, confident Brom would not steer him into a tree or into anything that may further wound him. A hand lifted from beneath his heavy cloak, gently cupping around a glow bug that fluttered near his face. It was a comforting yellow light, illuminating the blood and dirt coating his small hand.

Varia’s eyes lifted briefly as Maddox glanced back to him, meeting the others gaze. He looked calm, but Varia could sense the uncertainty. Would they be killed? He’d spoken so boldly to Daylor, Varia had not thought they were in any danger after that. Granted, he had no idea what Daylor, nor the other elf had said, only what Maddox did.

Maddox seemed like he would have stared back at Varia the entire walk, so Varia finally tore his gaze from the other. His gaze returned to the trees around them. He had not expected them to be so very tall. Tall as any fortress he had seen, and thick. He hadn’t spent much time in Er Rai, and Nihal was lacking in trees. Arcturus had trees, but not like these. The trees in Arcturus were tall, but they didn’t have leaves like these did. They were prickly, sharp, made to withstand the cold. They were darker, nearly black in some cases.

Not here. Not in all of Er Rai. He never saw so much green. He spent most of his military career in Nihal which was nothing more than a vast desert. Even in the darkness of the forest, it was so much more than he had dreamed of. The canopy above was just as impressive. He wished he could see the stars above, to see Varia the Wanderer, but the trees would not allow it.

Gradually the walk gave way to a smoother path and the elves tightened their circle around the party. The darkness of the forest broke before them, giving way to a soft glow. The space opened suddenly to the city of the elves. The trees there weren’t packed quite as tightly, but seemed much larger than the ones surrounding the city. Spiraled stairs were carved from their trunks, wrapping upwards and leading into tree houses in the canopies. The dirt of the forest floor had become smoothed pathways, lined on either side with the same circular lanterns glowing with the insects inside. Pools of water sparkled in the soothing glow, filled by small streams branching out from deep within the E’letaesi.

Before they could step foot beyond the edge of the elven civilization, Daylor stopped them all. Maddox glanced back towards the others, taking a step closer to Varia. “Varia and I can’t go beyond the borders. Brom, Sabre, go with Daylor.” He spoke, a hand outstretched to take Varia from where he leaned on Brom.

Varia immediately felt himself scowl at that. Was he not worthy enough to step foot into the elven oasis? He’d done no wrong to the elves here, yet he was already being cast out?

No. Not because of who I am, but because of what lives inside of me.

He had to remind himself of the demon. Dor’Goth had been so quiet, so calm it was as if he wasn’t truly there. The elves took no sides in the war, even though Varia surly would have forced them to fight had Arcturus not betrayed him.

Brom visibly bristled at Maddox’s hand, as if considering handing Varia over to his brother was something he would not bode well.

You did hand me over to him. To save me, isn’t that what you said? You’d allow him to use me just as Arcturus has.

Varia’s thoughts had become increasingly bitter towards his second in command. Brom was by far the only friend he ever had. To think that after all these years, after all he had given to keep Brom at his side...

How many times had you stalled my blade from ending him? If you hadn’t meddled, Arcturus wouldn’t have cast me aside. It’s your fault. You did this to me, you forced Arcturus to abandon me. You took everything from me.

He felt the anger rising in his chest, swallowing hard to force it down. He had yet to confront Brom about this slight, and he wasn’t sure if he even should. He wasn’t known for being especially stable, nor forgiving. He’d executed others for far less slights, yet none had been his friends. Perhaps that was the worst feeling of all. The only companionship he had, the only other person alive who knew of the whispers and fears he faced, his battle fatigue, his crumbling mind…

You betrayed me.

“Your… companions will be cared for.” Daylor said to Sabre and Brom, more to the former than the latter. His common tongue was heavily accented. “Healers will be sent and I will tell Elder Zeale of your arrival.”

Varia was thankful Daylor and Maddox began speaking once more. He was yanked from his thoughts, though he could feel Brom’s eyes on him. Brom could always tell when Varia was slipping.

You no longer have a sway on my thoughts.

Varia took Maddox’s hand while the other had his gazed turned to Daylor, steadying himself as he stepped away from Brom. He didn’t need to turn to know the look Brom likely wore as Varia distanced himself.

Maddox turned his eyes back to Varia’s face as he stepped to him, bracing himself against the pain in his leg. Without a word about it, Maddox’s arm shifted down, wrapping around Varia’s waist to steady him more securely to himself. Varia was grateful for the assistance, not that he turned his eyes upwards to indicate that.

“Is Vian… Elder Viansola no longer of this world?” Maddox spoke, his tone more polite than it had been before. His eyes perhaps lingered on Varia for a moment too long even after he spoke, before he finally looked back to the elf.

Daylor couldn’t have rolled his eyes harder as Maddox spoke. “Elder Zeale has taken over functions--”

“But she hates me more than you do and will do Varia harm, you know this. Tell her Den-Cithrel has returned. I’m sure she would like to see him.”

Was that concern? I can take care of myself.

But he couldn’t, not here. He was wounded, and the Graves dulled his powers into nothing. Here, he was still an exceptional swords man, but with his wound he was useless. He would have to rely on Maddox to keep him alive. He would rather die, truthfully, at least he thought so.

Daylor’s hands tightened into fists as his eyes traveled again to Maddox’s sword. A flash of conflict flashed across his features. “I will call for Elder Viansola as well. Water for washing will be made available to you.” Daylor spoke, no small amount of venom in his tone. He turned to Brom and Sabre once more. “Your companions will be staying there.” Ask he spoke, he gestured to a tree outside of the city. It wasn’t as tall as the other’s, and besides the winding stairs there was a life that led to the top.

“Free passage to see them is not permitted until after the Elders have made their determination. Their taint cannot be allowed to disquiet the others.”

Tainted. I suppose I am tainted.

Despite Varia agreeing with Daylor’s words, his gaze was feral and harsh, a dangerous intent swirling in the icy wasteland. His body was absolutely rigid with anticipation. Maddox must have sensed Varia’s animosity. A soft squeeze to his side reminded him that he was in no position to attack anyone in this state. He was still leaning on Maddox for support, after all.

Two of the elven guards placed themselves on either side of Maddox and Varia, urging the pair towards the lift that would take them to their temporary home, removed from the others. Varia could feel Brom’s eyes on his back as he was led away, but he refused to turn back.

The lift began rising, a lever cranked by two elves below. It hoisted them towards the canopy of trees, towards a small porch that led into the home. “We should be fine for a while. Just don’t attempt to use your powers. They’re going to strip you of your weapons, but we’ll get them back before we leave.” Maddox spoke to him.

If we leave, you mean.

Varia remained quiet as they entered the small home. It was… cozy. Bookshelves lined the walls, adorned with not only books, but various bowls and trinkets. The windows weren’t covered with glass, instead allowing the fresh air to flow freely into the home, cooling it. There were several small tables, chairs set up around each of them. The ceiling opened up, revealing the star dotted sky above, much to Varia’s pleasure. There was only one bed, but it was much larger than the one the two had shared in the village. Varia was never fond of heights, and though his curiosity replaced his animosity, he refused to go towards the windows.

“How is your wound?” Maddox snapped him from his thoughts, drawing Varia’s eyes down to the floor. He had left small, bloody footprints from the doorway. The bleeding had been slowed thanks to Brom, but walking around on it had certainly not helped his condition. He sucked his teeth in annoyance, allowing Maddox to lead him to the bed.

He flopped down, laying rather than sitting. His hands ran over his face, a growl leaving his throat. “If the elves attack us, I’ll be useless.” He muttered, evading the question regarding his well-being. Maddox slid one of the small chairs closer to the bed, allowing Varia to prop his leg up onto it in a sad attempt to elevate his wound.

Maddox stood near where Varia lay, quiet long enough for Varia to lower his hands from where they had covered his own eyes. He squinted at him, unable to read the expression on the Captains face as he was studied.

A soft tap to the door drew Maddox away before he could speak what he was thinking. Varia found he didn’t mind, not wanting to know what had gone through his mind just then.

The healers arrived in short order. They were elvish, but they didn’t appear the same as the others Varia had seen. Varia lifted himself onto his elbows, watching the women closely. They were pale, as if the sun never reached them. Their eyes were bound in cloth, and their hair was stark white. They were ghostly, much different than the other elves. Their pale flesh was marked with blue whorls and symbols.

Maddox saw the curiosity on his face, slowly sitting near Varia. “They are called Walkers Between the Worlds. These women bury the dead in the forest and tend to the trees. It is confirmation of our tainted status, and the lengths that Daylor will go to keep up at arm’s length.” Maddox answered Varia’s unspoken questions.

So we will be treated as if we are already dead?

Varia frowned bitterly as he watched the women. They stopped just inside the door, their mouths opening in what he could only describe as a look of shock and perhaps mild horror. They spoke quickly in elvish, turned back towards the door to leave.

Maddox rose and lay his sword on the small table near the bed, moving towards the women and taking their hands. His own voice was soft, comforting as he spoke to them in elvish. He lifted the womans hands and gently pressed them to his eyes. The woman stood for a moment like that before her body gradually relaxed. The woman spoke again, before dropping her hands from Maddox’s eyes, moving from where he stood to begin preparing their supplies.

“What did you say to them?” Varia asked as he watched. The women produced large leaves from within their robes, unrolling them to reveal pastes and small fruits.

“I told them that you mean no harm to them, that none of us do.” Maddox whispered as he sat beside Varia once more.

The women advanced, small hands reaching for Varia’s face much as they had done Maddox. Varia felt the wild surge of adrenaline spike through his blood as they advanced on him, his body unintentionally leaning back from their small hands. Maddox slid his hand to grasp Varia’s, squeezing it reassuringly.

“They are understanding you. The Walkers see the soul through the eyes. They are making sure you are not other than we say you are.” Maddox whispered. Varia allowed them to press their hands against his eyes.

The women each took a turn gazing into his soul, the others lathering the paste onto his wound, wrapping it with leaves, and then again with cloth. Despite the unfamiliar hands on his body, Varia already began to feel his strength return. The pain immediately lessened. The walkers around him chanted softly, eerily.

If these women sense Dor’Goth, they are not alarmed by him.

Varia watched the women still as they tended to Maddox. Despite how much of an intolerant baby he had appeared to be by pain, he sat still for the women. They had given him some tonic prior to setting and binding his arm once more, perhaps a sedative.

The women moved quickly and had soon begun filing from their home. The woman, perhaps the leader, paused before she did. She knelt before Varia, taking his hand within her own. Her head turned to Maddox briefly, before she began speaking.

“She says that there is a great darkness in you, but also much light. She says to not be afraid and see every shadow in time.” Maddox translated, though he seemed tired, stumbling over his own words. “Mmm… that’s hard to translate… she says you… and it are not the same. It should become you, not you it. I think she’s saying not to become a demon.” Varia felt his scowl darken at her words, but he did not respond.

Too late for that.

The woman turned to Maddox once she finished speaking to Varia, speaking something to him earned her a snort and a gesture towards his sword.

“Such is your burden.” She said in the common tongue. Maddox scowled at the woman, but if she felt it she did not indicate so. She bowed to the two, before taking her leave. Varia tilted his head to Maddox, but did not ask.

The women had left fruits and vegetables rolled in leaves for them to consume. They had also placed a bowl of water near Maddox, swimming with herbs. “We’ll probably be here for a week at least. Elders don’t come quickly and I expect it’ll take a lot of discussion to figure out what to do with us. It should be safe for you to sleep while it’s night here.” Maddox spoke to Varia softly, taking the cloth provided with the bowl of water to meticulously wipe his sword.

Varia sighed as Maddox spoke, his shoulders slumping in exhaustion as the women left. He turned his head to watch Maddox work at his sword, his eyes following his hand as it scraped down the blade. “I’m not tired.”

Oh, but he was. However spending another night in a bed with Maddox could prove problematic. He had felt the warm grip on his hand as his slept. It was hard to ignore. It was so quiet then, so peaceful. How Maddox had managed bring such peace to him was not a problem he wished to visit so soon. Beyond that, the tightness in his chest he felt as his eyes rose to Maddox’s face was something he absolutely did not understand.

A smile turned up the corners of Maddox’s lips at Varia’s words. “Having worked with my brother for so long, I would think the Demon of Arcturus would be better at lying.” Varia huffed at the observation, though he still didn’t close his eyes. They moved back to the man’s hands, watching as he dipped the wrappings of his sword into the water provided.

“You don’t like people, do you?” Maddox suddenly asked him, drawing Varia’s gaze once more to Maddox’s face. “I suppose Arcturus doesn’t value inter-human relationships of the non-military kind. Even then.” Maddox spoke, before his eyes finally turned to catch Varia’s.

Varia held Maddox’s gaze for a long moment, perhaps a moment too long, before he huffed through his nose. He lay back on the bed, turning his eyes up instead, focusing on the stars above them. Varia the Wanderer could not be seen from where he lay. Pity.

“Even military bonds are limited. Brom and I were the exception, since he curbed my worst impulses. There are other’s directly under me that I would consider myself fond of… but no. I don’t like people much.” Varia responded, allowing Maddox to bait him into speaking of himself once again.

He understood the abuse he had suffered as a child. He knew what it was, what the breeder program did. Up until recently, though, he had thought the effects on him much less than others. He became exactly what Arcturus had in mind, so how could it have been so bad?

Would I view people the same had I been raised in a proper home?

Varia was not fully prepared to deal with the reality of his childhood from the perspective he now found he had. He normally allowed Maddox to engage him, and then would offer more of himself than Maddox had asked. He felt slighted by that. Maddox hadn’t given him as much as he had given Maddox in their recent conversations.

“Why do the elves dislike you so much? You’re an infuriating shithead, but you clearly have a history here. A vast history. From my understanding, the elves don’t bother much with man.” He asked, turning his head briefly to watch Maddox.

Maddox had begun to hum softly as he wrapped his sword. For a long moment it seemed as if he wouldn’t answer. But eventually he began to speak, his voice much softer than it usually was, tempered with grief and memory. The tone alone was enough to draw Varia’s full attention.

“I lived here for many years. Elves do not age like humans, so there were not many children near enough my age to play with. Only two. Daylor, the captain you met, and Cithrel. When I left for war, Cithrel came with me, of his own will and against my wishes. We traveled together, and found our way to the Arcturian coast. We went under the mountains there, to hide and protect from the ever blowing winds and cold.”

Maddox paused as he spoke, his eyes distant as he gazed up from his sword. Varia felt a pang of guilt in his chest. He understood the darkness under the mountains in Arcturus, but he had never been alone. He held no fear of the dark, not with what he could do.

“One night, something attached itself to him.” Maddox finished binding his sword finally. He stood, throwing the water over the blood Varia had tracked inside, tossing a cloth over top and scrubbing them away with his foot.

“It wasn’t noticeable at first, but gradually the friend I knew disappeared and… something else took his place. I had to kill him. He made me kill him. A moment of clarity of what he had become maybe… but he took advantage of my fear and ended his life. We were not far from here, only a few days before we could have reached this place, and he could have been saved…”

Maddox grew quiet as he finished cleaning the blood from the floor. He stepped back from the water to allow it to dry on its own as he placed the bowl and utensils next to the door.

“Before he died, before he turned… he had asked me to bring him here. The greatest fear of a wood elf is that they will die away from here or that their body will not be interred here. Here their body and soul can grow into a tree, can evolve and eventually be reborn again. If they die away from the graves, their soul can wander, could become something else. So I strapped his body to my back and I brought him the rest of the way.”

Varia found himself utterly consumed with the story. There was a sadness about Maddox, one that was hard to see, but it was there. Varia knew the sadness well. He hadn’t expected Maddox to speak so openly to him. He certainly hadn’t expected such a tale.

“Cithrel was important. An important son to an important family, never meant to rush off to war with me. Was supposed to help bridge two clans. Daylor’s clan, Zeale’s clan, with another. But now he was dead, and now he was tainted.” Maddox came back to the bed, sitting down next to Varia once more. The sword was laid over his lap, and Maddox’s hands gently stroked the bindings covering the blade.

“They hate me because I brought back their peace treaty dead as a doornail. They hate me because I’m the one who killed him. They hate me because when he died he was in such a state that he could not be saved. They hate me because I suggested otherwise. When they die like that, with something… attached, they can’t be buried in the Graves. They normally burn the body, lots of prayers and rites, hope the spirit finds its way back. But he was my friend, my bond brother… so I found another way. I convinced them to do a blood ritual, to make a sword of his bones.”

An odd feeling washed over Varia as he gazed down at the sword in Maddox’s lap. A sudden and overwhelming urge to comfort Maddox. His eyes shifted back to the other’s face. He had never comforted anyone. There had been times he had felt an urge to comfort Brom or other soldiers of his, but a small touch of the shoulder, an approving nod. That was all he could muster. To them, it was profound. But to embrace someone?

It was such a bizarre urge. He could not recall a time he had an urge to embrace someone. He managed to swallow the urge somehow. Maddox grew quiet, trailing off into silence. Varia had the thought he was handsome then, when he was so openly sharing with him like that.

How absurd. I’ve always known he was attractive. Why think of that now?

Varia finally allowed himself to lay back against the bed. His hands raised once again to run over his face, desperate to erase the flush that had taken him. He couldn’t think of what to say, how to comfort anyone, especially Maddox. It wasn’t easy at all.

No. It’s too easy. He’s like me.

“I… understand you, Maddox. I understand you and your journey. I can’t speak on Cithrel, but I understand.” It was a poor attempt at comfort, but an attempt nonetheless.

He had been feeling too much kinship towards Maddox as of late, and he knew Maddox felt the same. It likely didn’t help that Varia’s plight was similar to Cithrel’s. Varia hadn’t wanted to see the expression on Maddox’s face, concerned with what it may say, but he peeked from under his own fingers.

Maddox looked lost in thought, his gaze soft yet distant. He wondered what he was thinking of. Maddox’s head tilted up, briefly flicking his eyes across the stars above them, before he rubbed his own face.

“It would be better for you if you didn’t… but I find that I’m not upset that you do...” Maddox whispered. His tone was much different. It spoke so much more than had actually been said. He had wanted Varia to understand. Why him, Varia wasn’t sure.

Maddox leaned his sword against the bedpost, before he shifted onto the bed to lay properly next to Varia now, his hair spreading out under his head, mixing with Varia’s. He closed his eyes and so did Varia.

They lay there like that for a time, much closer than they had been while they were awake the last time. But it was comforting. Varia found himself focused on the other’s steady breathing.

“If you succumb to the demon in you, I promise to kill you. I’ll carry your body back to the ice. If the ice is like the trees, I’ll make a sword of your bones as well. Enemy or not. If nothing else, I can promise that.” Maddox broke the silence. His voice grew softer with each word as he slipped into a slumber.

Varia opened his eyes as Maddox spoke, watching as he fell into a sleep. How profound that was. It had soothed the anger in Varia’s gut in almost an instant. He forgot his anger at Maddox, at Brom, at Arcturus. His lips flickered up in a small smile.

Of course you would say something like that and promptly fall asleep.

Varia didn’t move for a long moment, watching the steady rise and fall of Maddox’s chest. Without thinking of how wrong it was, how terrible it could seem when he would stop to think of it, Varia scooted his body closer, curling around Maddox.

His chin rested on Maddox’s shoulder against the bed, his eyes focused on his face. The light from the stars and moon above brightened it. He seemed so calm, so at peace. That’s what this was all about, wasn’t it? Peace.

“Thank you.” Varia whispered as his own exhaustion finally won. He slipped into a dark sleep.

***

Perhaps it hadn’t been the wisest choice to allow himself to sleep. He felt a calmness from Maddox at his side, but he should have been cautious. Even curled around the captains’ warmth, the nightmares returned.

It was almost a relief. The sounds and visions that visited him through the darkness of his mind were always there. He had begun to feel lonely without them.

You don’t belong here with them.

You need to get away from them

Get out.

We have to leave.

Get out now.

They’ll only use you.

Get out. Get out.

They’re the same as Arcturus.

Get out. Get out. Get out.

He is going to kill you.

LET.

OUT!!

Varia sat straight up in the bed, a shout leaving him. He was drenched in a cold sweat, his breath labored. His hand fumbled aimlessly at his side, desperate for a weapon, any weapon. Maddox shifted next to him, likely woken by his sudden movements.

It’s dark. Where am I? Where is he? I know he’s here!

Varia’s eyes began to adjust, the light of the moon overhead now illuminating the room in silver and blue. A shaky breath left him. If Maddox spoke to him, he heard nothing. His eyes had come back, but his mind hadn’t, not yet. He became aware of where he was, but he didn’t feel safe. From the corner of the room, the shadows shifted. Crimson glared out at him from the darkness.

Varia snapped too within a moment. He closed his eyes tightly, pressing his palms against his temples, before he opened his eyes.

Nothing. Nothing but a pile of old books.

A heavy breath left his lips, his gaze shifting down as a slight pain flashed through his palm. His small fist was clenched so tightly a trickle of blood had begun welling along his knuckle. It seemed to take all of the strength he had to unfurl his fist.

He could feel Dor’Goth there. Somewhere deep inside of him. He was sleeping still, but he had begun to stir. He was pushing at the corner of his subconscious.

His breathing finally seemed to slow, and he turned his eyes to Maddox. The captain was looking at him expectantly, though he didn’t appear alarmed. Varia couldn’t manage to twist his face in his usual scowl then.

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this...” his voice was small and weak. It sounded pathetic. He had barely begun to live with the demon, it wasn’t as if he had been fighting long.

He never felt a fear like he did now. He was desperate to leave the Graves, desperate to run and hide. He hadn’t forgotten about Dor’Goth, how could he? But he had been so quiet. It was still quiet. It was only a matter of time.

“What if… What if they can’t help? Dor’Goth will take me, a-and… and the ice isn’t the graves...” Varia whispered. He was so aware of how pathetic he must have sounded. He was the Demon of Arcturus. How could he be felled so easily?

The moonlight slid across his eyes as he turned his head to look at Maddox. He knew Maddox would be able to read him like a book in that moment. He knew he would see his fear.

I always imagined if I died it would be on his sword. Nothing has changed.

Maddox breathed a sigh of relief. Varia realized Maddox had a grip on his arm only after he loosened it. Maddox turned to grab his sword, a soft whisper came from it as he touched it, but quieted almost immediately. Maddox lay the sword before him, his voice soft.

“They can help you. Cithrel battled his demon for months and he only knew basic spells and chants. You can’t give up, Varia. Brom would be devastated and I would be disappointed to have called you my rival.” As he spoke he lifted the hilt of his sword, whispering to it. The sword gave a soft glow through the bindings and Maddox swung the bulk of the blade to hover over Varia.

The whispers began again, soft and quick as the light over the blade shifted and twisted. It was oddly comforting, and Varia did not know why.

“The demon seems to be unsettled, but not stronger than before. If it were growing stronger, this blade would be brighter, the whispers louder. You don’t have to worry.” Maddox assured him as the blade dimmed.

Maddox set his sword against the bed again, before standing, holding his hand to Varia. “Come. I will teach you something.”

Varia took his hand, the pain in his calf dulled. It was enough to make him uncomfortable, but not enough to dissuade him from moving. Maddox pulled Varia to the center of the floor where the moonlight was brightest. He fished through his pockets briefly, before pushing a small bag of herbs into Varia’s other hand.

“These are purification herbs that ward off evil and keep demons at bay. If you feel yourself unsettled, like he’s taking over or slipping into your thoughts, you can chew these. It won’t taste nice, but it should give you clarity.” Maddox whispered. He lifted their hands together, tracing symbols in the air as he whispered.

“Repeat what I say.” Maddox spoke, allowing Varia lead their hands in tracing the symbol in the air. “This is a simple spell I learned to ward off the dark.”

Varia whispered the words along with Maddox, his hand moving with his, tracing patterns in the air.

It was comforting, in a way. But the thought of Dor’Goth overpowering him caused his stress to build. If Arcturus learned of him living with a demon within him they would welcome him home. He knew that, and he knew why they would. They wouldn’t try to save him, they wouldn’t try to extract the demon.

They will use me until nothing is left.

Worse still, if Arcturus welcomed him back, demon or no, Varia wasn’t sure if he was strong enough to resist them. Even now. Even as he was left with his enemy, allowing him to comfort him. Maddox assured him of his strength and place.

Arcturus cast me aside. Don’t forget that.

Varia’s whispers ceased and his hand closed around Maddox’s.

“I could ward off the dark for you.” He whispered suddenly.

He wasn’t sure where that had come from. He felt like a child standing with Maddox offering to protect him from the dark. He wasn’t even positive he could ward off much of anything at the moment. But it didn’t matter to Maddox. Maddox had a purpose for him, one he hadn’t abandoned the moment Varia was taken by Dor’Goth.

He needs me.

What he needed him for, he wasn’t completely sure still. Worse still he felt as if he may not be able to do what Maddox needed him to do. He could kill men, just point him in a direction, but Maddox had much higher hope for him. If he couldn’t do what Maddox needed him to do, the least he could do is chase the dark away.

More curious than his own offer to protect Maddox was how Maddox seemed to be struck by that. His eyes snapped to Varia and his breath hitched in his throat. Varia’s eyes remained on Maddox, watching the shift in him. The shift in his emotions.

His gaze softened, and Varia knew Maddox believed him. Varia understood, he would protect Maddox. Varia understood that the terror of the darkness for Maddox, was the terror of Dor’Goth for himself.

Maddox’s eyes dropped from where they had locked with Varia’s and down to their still clasped hands. A breath left him, shaky. “I’d rather that you were the dark. You I can fight. You I can kill. I made the mistake of allowing someone else to become my shield before. With you, of all people, I cannot make that mistake again.”

Cithrel.

But Varia was not Cithrel. Varia attracted Dor’Goth because he is darkness. He can chase the dark away.

Yet if Varia lost the fight against the dark, like Cithrel, the darkness that would result would be impossible for Maddox to face and defeat. Varia knew that.

He also knew the offer did not mean nothing to Maddox. He felt it too, the feeling of kinship and connection to his once-enemy. Varia knew Maddox would take his promise in the same vein that he took Maddox’s promise to return Varia to the ice upon his death.

Yet, despite all of the feelings that sparked between the two of them, despite the obvious attraction, Varia was not prepared for Maddox to lean down as he did.

Was it that feeling of kinship that moved Maddox’s lips lower? Was it the moment of openness between them that moved him? Whatever it was, it was foolish.

But foolishness only needed a moment, and Maddox took it.

It was rare that Varia was so caught off guard that he couldn’t react with anger. Feeling lips softly brush against his own, pressing downwards set a fire in him, yet stalled his mind. He was stunned into submission.

Maddox’s lips lingered on his own, long enough to damage the fragile barrier keeping them from this before, yet too short. Maddox drew back from Varia, but remained close to him. Emerald eyes met with Varia’s wintery ones.

“Thank you.” Maddox whispered. Varia nearly laughed. The words sounded so foreign for Maddox.

Maddox released Varia’s hands suddenly, sighing heavily and running his hands through his hair. “I’m losing my mind.” He muttered as he dragged his eyes from Varia’s, turning from him to sit on the bed.

Varia didn’t speak a word. He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to form a coherent sentence at that point. He stood still, allowing Maddox to move from him. His hand was still lifted, as if Maddox had hold if it still.

His heart slammed into his chest so hard he thought perhaps he was dying.

It isn’t as if you’ve never been kissed before!

Varia shook his head at his thoughts, before he turned his head to look at Maddox as the man sat on the bed.

Why had HE done that?

He didn’t have an answer. Of course he understood the kinship, the two had certainly grown closer than before over the short journey, and he had certainly found him attractive, and he understood him, but…

Fuck.

He DID understand it. He understood it completely. He had continued to try and push it away, to return Maddox’s glances with scowls. He pushed it to the back of his own mind, but he knew it. His attraction had grown into fondness. He had begun to crave his presence at his side.

But why had he done it?

Varia turned finally, his gaze falling onto Maddox as he stepped closer to him. He feared this. He feared this almost more than he feared Dor’Goth. Sex was one thing. It meant nothing. It was primal, a human urge that even the Demon of Arcturus had. He could blame this on that…

No. That isn’t true.

It wasn’t as if he would ever be able to admit it out loud, much less to himself. He hardly recognized such feelings, such urges. This was more than a primal need.

That was why his legs moved forward.

Maybe it’s the elves and their magic.

Maybe. Hopefully it was anything but having a true fondness for the captain.

It doesn’t matter.

If needed, he would concern himself with it later.

He strode across the room with a confidence he didn’t feel. He stood before Maddox, his eyes glinting in the darkness as he watched the other. Maddox lifted his head and Varia felt that same openness that he so often felt between them. It hadn’t been a mistake.

“You’ve tried to kill me many times, but you can’t, can you.” Varia whispered. His words were taunting, but his tone was strange.

A quiet murmur, almost a purr.

Humor.

Many strange things had begun happening that night, and they would not stop there.

Small hands lifted to brush against Maddox’s cheeks. His touch was so soft and gentle, even timid. It was a stark contrast from the violent and aggressive nature he so often acted on. He was amused by the surprise in Maddox’s eyes.

You surprised me too. This is payback, Maddox.

Varias head dipped down and his lips brushed against Maddox’s softly. He felt Maddox’s hands lift to brush up his hips to grip at his sides, encouraging his lips. At his urging, he pressed their lips together, pleased his motions were returned.

This is right. This was always meant to be.

Varia was truly lost now, but he was no longer frightened