She awoke with a strangled shout, shoulders heaving as she tried to orient herself in the darkness. A cold sweat clung to her shift and soaked through the sheets of her bed. She peeled them off, bracing against the sudden chill.

Once her breathing evened out she crawled toward the edge of the canopied bed and peered through the velvet drapes that separated her from the gray light of dawn.

The chairs and trunks packed full of books and clothing were right where she’d left them, forming an intricate maze in the middle of the chamber between herself and the door leading out to the next room. There was no one else there. Just her and her bloody dreams.

She stood and crossed the chamber, throwing open blinds concealing a tall arching window. She settled down upon the cushioned window sill and sighed as a warm golden glow bathed her.

She held up her hands and traced her fingers over the smooth pale skin of her arms. It had all felt so real.

The knives carving into her flesh as they’d stretched her over a roaring fire. The iron chains biting into her wrists, binding her feet together.

Even now she could hear the cackling laughter of the monsters standing over her. Their teeth glistening in the fire’s flickering light as shadows danced over their grotesquely smiling faces.

Despite the gentle warmth of the sun she hugged herself and shivered. You’re losing your mind, she thought.

The clock on the mantle reminded her suddenly of the hour, prompting her to get ready for the day. By the time she left her chamber her attendant Daria had laid out a tray full of bread and cheese and smoked ham on a table by a window.

She poured herself a cup of wine, savoring the sweet aroma.

Daria bowed as she took her seat.

“Would you like anything else, your Grace?”

“That will be all,” she said.

“Very well, your Grace,” Daria said, bowing once more. “By the way, that young man is here to see you again.”

“Which one,” she frowned. “I keep telling them the answer is no but they have trouble understanding plain speech.”

“The one in shiny armor who follows you around everywhere.”

“Who? Colenno?”

Daria bobbed her head and smiled. She gave the woman a flat stare as she tore into a chunk of bread.

“Daria,” she said. “We’ve gone over this. He’s the captain of my guard. He sort of has to follow me around.”

“Very well, your Grace. Would you like me to show him in?”

She took a bite of ham and washed it down with a gulp of wine.

“Please, do,” she said.

Shortly after, a tall young man with neatly trimmed blonde hair swept to the side of a handsome face strode into the room. He bowed deeply.

“Good morning, Majesty. I see you’ve slept well.”

She poured herself another cup of wine, preferring not to correct him. The silence stretched as she continued eating. He coughed into a fist and looked around the room.

“You should also know,” he said. “Preparations are complete. The crowds have already gathered and are eagerly waiting to see their queen.”

“They’ve seen their queen before.”

“Not wearing a crown they haven’t.”

“Colenno,” she said. “I don’t exactly enjoy crowds these days.”

“I can assure you, Majesty, every precaution has been taken. Dragon form guards will escort you the entire way. The Avenue of Kings has triple the amount of city guards as normal and the route has been thoroughly searched. You’ll be as safe out there as you are in here.”

“My family thought they were safe. And look what happened to them. Murdered in their own home.”

Colenno grimaced. “Majesty, I’ll be right beside you. Should anything happen I’ll lay down my life if it means protecting yours.”

She finished her meal and set her empty cup down with a heavy sigh. “You don’t have to go so far, Colenno. Come.”

He followed her out of the sitting room with a curious look.

“You have an interesting way of organizing your chamber Majesty,” he said.

She followed his gaze toward the maze of chairs and trunks in the middle of the floor.

“It’s a precaution I read about once. A general who was paranoid over assassins creeping into his tent at night had the idea to leave obstacles in the way, believing anyone sneaking in the dark would trip over them, therefore alerting him to the danger.”

He raised an eyebrow and cupped his chin. “I see.”

“But never mind that,” she said. “Help me into this.”

She knelt by one of the trunks in her maze. As she flipped the lid Colenno whistled over her shoulder.

“Your Majesty,” he said. “You don’t plan to wear that, do you?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I have every right as you do. Now get to it. We don’t have all morning.”

He sighed. But of course, he obeyed.

After he was finished she stood in front of a mirror and stared at her reflection. After all these years it still fit. How nostalgic.

She lifted her arms, testing the weight and found it to be only a little heavier than she remembered. Her movements didn’t feel too hindered, thankfully.

“This was the last gift my father ever gave me.”

“It’s beautiful, your Majesty.”

“Thank you, Captain. And now for the finishing touch.”

She strode over to her bed side and reached underneath a pillow, pulling out a sheathed short sword and after finding a belt in one of her trunks she fastened it to her waist.

But then she hesitated. Wasn’t the night stand the last place she’d left it?

Her heart skipped a beat. Colenno walked over to her as she began to panic. He held the crown reverently in his hands and offered it to her on one knee.

“Great,” she said. “Now let’s get this over with.”

He led the way through the main hall. An open carriage sat in the courtyard before the palace gates, surrounded by a troop of Dragon form guards in their summoned armor.

She marveled at how the light bounced and twisted off the sinuous metal. It was far more beautiful than her own. The armor she wore was as plain and elegant as the crown nestled on her head.

But given the choice between the two she loved hers more. Her father had it packed inside her belongings without telling her after her untimely dismissal all those years ago.

She caressed the interlocking metal plates on her arms and closed her eyes, enjoying the sense of safety that enveloped her. She made a mental note to wear it more often.

Before long, the carriage lurched as the driver whipped his team of horses into motion. Soon they were greeted by the cheers of thousands.

Dagon form guards hissed and shouted at the crowd, bearing fang and sword to keep the pathway clear.

Her armor reverberated from all the excitement in the air. It was almost too loud to hear herself think. But then she didn’t have to think of anything. The whole purpose of a parade was to look pretty and wave. And wave she did.

She smiled down from her high seat and waved for as long as her arm could tolerate it. But eventually she gave up and settled for relaxing in her seat. Colenno who sat beside her noticed her apparent absence of duty.

He leaned over and shouted over the roaring crowd. “Is something wrong, Majesty?”

“It’s nothing, Captain. I just need a break from all the waving.”

“Perhaps it was not such a good idea to wear the armor?”

She shot him an annoyed look. “I used to wear this all the time after I left the city. I just need to get used to the weight again.”

A half smile crept over his handsome face as he nodded. She ignored the smug look in his eyes and chose to gaze out at the crowd. When was the last time she’d seen such a gathering? Perhaps when her father had been crowned? She failed to see the point of it all.

What was the point of parading around the city? What difference did it make? These people didn’t know her. They didn’t love her. So why should they care? They only cared about themselves and whether or not they were going to have any bread to eat the next morning.

It wasn’t as though they’d chosen her to rule over them. It was passed on to her. It was her duty to take it up, whether she wanted to or not.

She closed her eyes and drummed her fingers over the side of the carriage. She still couldn’t believe her family was gone. Her mother and father. Her brothers. Even her cousins. No one had been spared.

Except for her. The one royal no one had given a second thought about in years. The one never meant to inherit a thing.

So why had she survived? Why did she have to carry on the legacy after it had been stripped away from her all those years ago? And how was she supposed to fulfill her duty all by herself?

She opened her eyes and stared at the passing buildings. She had gone over it in her head dozens of times since that night and each time she’d come to the same conclusion.

They were all dead because of her.

“Majesty,” Colenno said. “Take a look at that.”

She followed to where he pointed in the crowd at a statue of a Dragon. A dozen children climbed over it, waving small wooden swords. She couldn’t help but smile. When she gave them a small wave they shook their swords even harder.

“Your family was well loved, Majesty. Your father did more for these people than the previous generations ever did. They still grieve over his death but seeing you gives them hope. It shows them the future he created isn’t dead.”

She balled a fist and glared.

“Why should I care? I don’t remember them supporting me when I was banished. Their future has never been any concern of mine.”

Colenno looked as though he’d been slapped.

“Majesty, you don’t mean that.”

“Who can say? Perhaps I have it in me to care but I can’t find the energy to do so right now. It’s enough that I’ll wear this crown and perform my duties. Other than that, there is only one thing that I want.”

“Vengeance won’t bring them back,” he said. “Majesty, you have to rule these people. They’re depending on you.”

“I’m well aware of that,” she said. But if it helped her sleep at night she would chase her family’s killers to the corners of the map until they were alive no more.

She hid a yawn behind a plated hand and massaged her brow. If it wasn’t for this bloody parade she could have been taking a nap right now.

The streets were full to bursting and it seemed the entire city had packed itself within the upper district. People of all ages stood shoulder to shoulder and cheered as she passed.

By the time the carriage returned to the Avenue of Kings, the Sun Palace looming like a tall hill in the distance, she let out a sigh of relief.

The Dragon form guards had done their job well. Initially she’d worried that an assassin could have hid in the crowds but it appeared she’d worried over nothing.

As the palace grew closer a lone figure stepped into the path of the Dragon form guards. At first she assumed they would stop him but somehow they walked right past him.

She leaned forward to shout but stopped as she recognized the man’s face. It was her younger brother Bradyn. His face gray and drawn, eyes wide and bulging.

She remembered how young and handsome he looked not so long ago. He’d smiled and hugged her so tight when she had returned to the city. And now he was dead.

“Your Majesty?” Colenno said. “What is it?”

She leaned back in her seat, tearing her eyes off her dead brother. “Nothing, Captain. I’m just a little excited at almost getting back to the palace.”

He gave her a small grin. “It won’t be much longer now-”

The carriage jolted. Colenno cursed and stood from his seat, shouting for the Dragon form guards as the driver lost control of his horses. The animals reared, kicking against their constraints.

The harness connecting them to the carriage broke and the horses fled. The Dragon form guards surrounded the carriage faster than she’d thought possible. Their great heads swiveled back and forth.

The guards on horseback swung their mounts around and drew the crossbows hanging from their saddles. Colenno bent down and shook her out of her shock.

“Majesty, we need to leave.”

Before she could respond a hand reached over the side of the carriage. She stared in horror as her brother’s face rose over the edge. He hooked an arm over the side and pulled himself over. After that everything became chaos.

She drew her short sword and screamed. She swung her sword wildly, hitting nothing. Colenno managed to hook his arms underneath her and dragged her out of the carriage.

“Your Majesty, let’s go. There’s nothing there.”

“No, I saw him. We ran him over. He’s there. He’s really there!”

“What are you talking about-”

The crowd surged. Screams filled the air as people fled from a terror they couldn’t see. Her older brother Gariel strode through the chaos.

His long blonde hair flowed in the wind. Blood speckled his pale cheeks and a long sword held at his side screeched as he dragged it against the cobble stones.

She shuddered as blood drained from her face.

This wasn’t happening. They were just delusions born from grief.

But as her brother passed a Dragon form guard and slashed his sword through a sinuous leg she began to have her doubts.

The Dragon hissed and fell to the ground. Colenno gaped in shock but quickly snapped out of it. A mounted guard dismounted off his horse as Colenno reached for the reins.

He shook her once more and yelled into her ear.

“Get on.”

She hoped into the saddle with his help and a moment later he’d swung himself behind her, kicking the horse into motion.

Everything became a blur after that.

The buildings, the people, the cobbles beneath the horses feet, it all blended together. Her chest clenched as she tried to understand what just happened.

The palace gates swung open to admit them. The roar of the crowd followed them along with the other mounted guards and the remainder of the Dragon form guards.

Colenno passed the reigns off to a handler and dismounted. He helped her down and looked at her. A deep frown furrowed his brow.

“Are you alright Majesty?” He said. “Should I fetch a doctor?”

“No, just take me to my chambers.”

He nodded solemnly.

She barely noticed the way he took to lead her back. When they arrived he posted half a dozen guards by the door and insisted she take a few inside with her.

She refused and closed the door in his face, her hands shaking as she raced through her apartments. She tripped over the maze of chairs and trunks in her chamber and cursed.

She kicked them aside and pushed herself to her knees. Her armor made it difficult but she managed to crawl to the night stand beside her bed.

She opened the bottom drawer and took out a small cloth bag, dumping its contents upon the carpeted floor. She grabbed one of the fragments and stuffed it into her mouth. She squeezed her eyes shut against the bitterness as she desperately chewed the numroot.

The trembling in her hands slowly subsided and a numb calmness washed over her. She leaned her back against the bed and breathed out slowly.

When she opened her eyes her older brother Gariel was sitting cross-legged on the carpet before her. He looked up from the naked blade laid across his lap.

“Do you remember the first time you held a sword?” he said. “You were just a little girl. So sweet and innocent. If only I had known I would have stopped you back then.”

“This isn’t happening,” she whispered. “You aren’t really here.”

He tilted his head to the side and stared at her. “Am I?”

“This is all in my head,” she said, closing her eyes once more. “You died. You all died.”

“Does this feel like an illusion?”

Cold metal brushed her chin. A sharp point pressed into her neck. The sword felt so real. But then so did her dreams.

“What do you want?”

“I want what all men want. Death.”

She numbly shook her head. The sword pressed further into her neck.

“No,” she said. “It wasn’t me.”

She tasted the lie as the words passed her lips. Bitter and wrong.

“It’s not my fault,” she said. “It’s not my fault!”

She opened her eyes. She was alone. A thin trail of blood trickled down her neck. She wiped it with her hand and felt a wet stickiness between her fingers.

“It wasn’t my fault.”

She fumbled another piece of numroot into her mouth. When the numbness washed over her a second time the world faded away as she surrendered to a dreamless sleep.