《Bottled up wishes》Chapter 16: Exhausted
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“I want you to hold it for as long as you can, so that I can check some things out” Worth said.
I nod my head and closed my eyes again to concentrate. It took longer this time to bring my double out into existence. About ten minutes was how long it took, but this time around, the book was still in my right hand, unlike before. At least I don’t need to pick it up from the ground every time I do this. But…
If this is how long it takes to get ready, then I think I’d already dead by the time that it does. Or, maybe even sooner, if I look at myself right now. I wasn’t really the most durable guy around.
“Let’s see…” Worth goes near my double and reaches out with his right hand to touch his face, or my face since we’re technically the same person.
…
I'll just call him R-two for now. R-two means Rei-two or Rei second, just to distinguish us from each other. It feels uncanny whenever I call him as me, and vice versa. Even though we look the same, I know for a fact that we aren’t because I made him out to be better than me… somehow.
Worth then tugs his hair, and when he did it, he made a ‘Hmm…’ sound. He then continues on to grab R-two’s jaw and inspected his face. He even grabbed and pulled up his clothes to check what was underneath. Well, I’ll tell you what’s behind that fabric of cloth.
It’s a whole load of disappointment.
My double didn’t seem to mind, though, and just happily smiles at him. Was his default expression always a smile? It’s kind of creepy, if you ask me. A deadpan expression is way better than… on second thought, a smile is fine.
“It isn’t a damn illusion, that’s for sure. But, doing something like this is like trying to power a whole damn city with just one generator. In other words, it’s fucking impractical, you hear?” He said with an exaggerated tone.
“I’ve seen something similar like this one before, but the only ‘real’ one that I saw was being powered by an artifact. A very rare one at that. So, the chances of you getting something similar is like finding a diamond in a pile of shit. And even if you did, other people would have likely robbed, and/or, killed you by that time”
I couldn’t hold it any longer, as the fatigue from keeping my double around was making me tired again. So, I asked him politely if he could leave or fade away. I still didn’t know how to manually do that, that's why I asked him, but I’ll find out someday. For now, I just need to ask him to leave. Am I being rude for doing that? Maybe.
My double nods at me and then fades away. He didn’t even say goodbye like the last time, and only just smiled when he left the stage.
“Still, a ‘hero’… huh” Worth murmured.
When I think about what he said before, I think of what I thought to be silly and quite childish. Heck, it was outright embarrassing. But… that’s what I wanted. Someone who can be there to make my problems go away, who can beat anyone who tries to harm me, and help anyone who’s in need. It may be a naïve persons wild dream of a heroic figure, but it’s my dream, and I get to choose what I want. I’m just worried about what he said regarding the ‘doubt the very foundation that you’ve built on, and then become powerless when it matters the most’ part.
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…
Ah, I can’t worry about everything when I’m still just starting to learn. Just keep in mind what he said, and focus on what’s in front. It’s not like it would do me any good worrying about it right now. No good at all.
“It would’ve been fine if you had your original container, but we didn’t get it back. You could’ve done wonders if you had that large son of a bitch gas tank”
Oh… I didn’t think it would be that detrimental to not having it, but that’s just how everything ended up in. I can’t get it back since I don’t even know where it is right now. If I had to guess, then I’d bet that it was still in that person’s hands. I just don’t know what he plans to do with it or where he was right now. Which is the same as being gone forever. Better to just give up and think of something else. But, if the opportunity arises, I’d likely try to recover what’s mine. Key word, ‘try’.
“All isn’t lost, though” He said, as he was trying to reassure me. “With your constitution, we could… ah, but we need to find a stable one first”
“Uhmm, a stable what?”
“A container, of course. Since your just using some second rate, weak-ass, inefficient stop gap. But, we’ll need to ask someone there for that. For now, if you plan to use it in advance, you need to remove those rings you’re wearing, so that you could store up some power, and then let it all out when you need it to”
“Okay”
“Remove those rings and we’ll start as soon as you can recover. We only have a month until we can get you in a survivable state”
“Got it” Getting to a survivable state within a month? Sounds good to me. It didn’t just sound good, but it was terrific! I can’t believe I’m so happy from just hearing those words. If he said that to me a month ago, my first reaction would probably be ‘?’ written all over my face.
With that said, I removed the rings that I was currently wearing and pocketed them all.
“Uhmm, but how long do I need to charge or something before I use… it?”
“Hmm, probably about ten minutes or so, but let’s see how big your capacity is first without those rings before we proceed. It might overload the container because of it, though, so, be careful when you’re using it”
“Okay”
We then waited for ten whole minutes, and after that amount of time has elapsed, I set to calling my double for a third time this day. It still took quite some time to get him out, though. I’m still wondering how I could make it faster, but I guess it’s all about the image, right?
With nothing to do but to wait until I run out of gas, I come closer to R-two and inspected him for myself.
“He seems a bit different from you, somehow” Al said. “Not the appearance, though, but I don’t feel good about him?”
“Not good?” Does he mean… I don’t exactly know what he means. Al was confusing sometimes when he doesn’t really explain why he thought of it like that. Which is, like most other people when they don’t explain their actions.
“I meant that the general feeling that I get from him isn’t good. Also, it feels like it’s a bad thing to be keeping him around”
What? Why would he be? He can’t even talk from what I was seeing. Wait… can he even talk?
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“Uhmm… hello?” I asked my double, and he responds with a smile wider than normal. “Can you, uh, talk or something?”
He answers with a shake of his head. Well, I guess that answers that. Now, what else should I… ah I’m getting tired again.
My double notices my situation and immediately vanishes without saying a word. He’s thoughtful enough to notice my current state and leaving without my queue, at least.
“forty-two seconds… with the rate that you're going, you’d really need a more stable container for this to work” He said, disappointed that I couldn’t even keep my double here for an entire minute.
“If I remember correctly, that guy should be arriving later this afternoon, but it’d be better if we don’t disturb him for now. So, meet me in front of the hospital tomorrow evening after school”
“Yes, uhmm… sir? ” The people around here usually call him with a ‘sir' instead of his name. So, I should also call him by that to go along with everyone else. That’s what I think, though. I’m not too sure if I should attach his name after the ‘sir’, or just straight up call him sir. I’m leaning more towards the latter.
“In the meantime, continue on practicing to call your doppelganger”
“Uhmm, okay, but I have a question” I said, as I raised my right hand again.
“What is it?”
“Can I have more than one… of that?”
“’That' what? Be more specific”
“Uhmm, the double or something” I said. “The, uh… use, or maybe… no…” I don’t know how to put it. What is this thing called anyway? Power? Magic? Mystical arts? Miracles?
…
Parlor trick?
“You mean the usage of the Soul?”
“Uhmm, yeah, that… I guess?”
“Well, there isn’t really a limit to what you can use it for. But, a general rule of thumb among us, is that you only use it for one particular thing, or maybe a few, if you really need to”
“Why?”
“Didn’t I just explain it to you?” He said, a little bit frustrated that I don’t understand why it was how it was. Well… maybe I’m just a little bit stupid? Or slow, yeah, slow is better.
“It all comes down to what you’re thinking, and how much your ‘desire' for it. If you put other things inside of that head of yours, then the attention that you have for the other would wane” He then shrugs. “It’s basically branching out to gain a larger area, but leaving the main one with lesser resources that can't be replenished"
"Ahhh..." I just nodded and muttered that in response.
"Allocating finite resources isn’t good if you don’t know what you’re doing, or, if there isn’t a worthwhile reward for it...”
So, it isn't advisable to do that when you're an amateur and if you don't know what you're doing with it. Basically, it's me.
“However!” He suddenly said, as he raised his index finger in front of me. “Overextending is also a big no-no because of the corruption”
“Wait… what?” Does he mean that black liquid thing that's from that Gaia cycle story that Mr. Cobalt told me about?
“You think there isn’t any drawbacks to using this world shifting power? Of course not, you ignorant moron. Nothing's free in this world, and everything comes with a price tag on it”
I was called out as a moron… maybe I’m just over thinking it. Yeah. Worth always says that to other people too, like… no one.
“The price doesn’t necessarily mean the paper that we normally use to transact with one another, though. It may be other things that people don’t usually notice, or it may even be an abstract thing. No matter how small or insignificant it may be, there will still be a compensation. And our compensation for using it is the ‘corruption'”
“But… what? I mean, uhmm, why the corruption thing?”
“Didn’t that big oaf tell you about this already?” He asked.
“Uhmm, he told me about the Gaia cycle stuff”
“And? What was it that he told you regarding that?”
“Uhmm…” If I remember correctly. “It was about the Souls not going back and becoming this, uhmm, black liquid that you can’t get rid of?”
“But, did he tell you why was it getting corrupted?”
“Uhmm… no?” I can’t really remember if he did. Maybe he did explain it to me back then, but I just forgot.
“… Okay, I’ll only explain this once, so, you better listen real carefully” He said, a little bit worn out because Mr. Cobalt didn’t elaborate on the subject matter… maybe. I was just speculating at this point, but I have a feeling that most of Worth's concerns revolve around that hulking man who always laughs.
“The reason why the Soul get’s corrupted is because we’re forcing it to change with our own ideals. But, at the primary root of it, it’s still Gaia’s Soul that we're borrowing. Remember this word, BORROWING” He emphasized.
“Do you know what happens when someone comes into contact with another person’s Soul under no protection whatsoever?”
“They, uhmm, won’t feel good?”
“That’s an understatement” He said, as he rolls his eyes. “They’ll start getting corrupted by the Souls of others, meaning, their very being gets tainted by it. Not just physically, but also, your mind starts to shift towards that taints influence. Changing you, yourself, as it sowly makes its way inside and continue the ‘rot'. The reason why it turns into a black liquid if it get's too corrupted is because Gaia is marking it as a potential hazard to it’s system, thereby rejecting it from going back and tainting the whole”
“Oh…” That didn’t sound good… not good at all.
“Now, what I've said might seem grim, but that’s just a worst case scenario since the body naturally has a defensive protection which are the Souls that we naturally release, and so does Gaia. It's currently shielding our bodies from the abundant Souls that are lingering in the environment, and also from foreign invaders that are trying to force their way in, if ever there are any. But, only to a certain extent, of course, since it still has a breaking point. However, your body works differently than normal people, so it's not a big problem… not that I'm an expert about it, though. So, I might be wrong”
“...” I didn’t particularly like that last part, too. It seems like there’s something really bad, but people can’t exactly tell what it was because it’s a new type of bad. It’s bad-bad.
“To simplify what I just said, think of it as taking a bath after a hard day’s work. Where you rid yourself of the dust and other filth that got stuck on your body because of some manual labor or something. And you use the bath to cleanse yourself of it before any sort of disease from that dirt could affect you. You keeping up with me?”
I nod my head in response.
“So, the bath water that you use becomes dirty as a result because of the filth from your body. Now, in order for other people to reuse that filthy water, it needs to go somewhere where it can filter the dirt away from the usable water, and then the cycle begins a new the next day”
“Ahhh, okay” So, if I got this right, then the dirt is my influence and the Soul would equate as the body where it gets dirtier the longer it works. Whereas the bath water is the…
“What is the water being compared with?” I asked.
“The water is the Soul, too, and it’s also the disease when it get’s corrupted. Think of everything that I just said to be one whole thing that does everything”
“Ahhh… okay. I got it now”
“Good” He said, a little bit satisfied that I understood everything that he just said.
“So, uhmm… what do I do now?”
“You keep practicing, of course. This wouldn’t be called training if you just sit around and ask me questions all day long” Ah, he’s got a point.
“Just keep doing that until this afternoon, and then you can go home and take a rest. You’ll be needing it when the exhaustion kicks in”
“Uhmm… okay?” Exhaustion? That sounds… exhausting.
After I said that, I then started to concentrate once more to bring my double out. And what can I say? It’s far too long.
I did that for a few hours with a ten minute break in between. Going into a pattern of concentrating, holding it for as long as I can, resting, and then doing it all over again. Even though I didn’t do any physical activity today, it felt like I was more worn-out than usual. My eyes were already starting to droop because I was so tired now.
“Okay, I think that’s enough for today. Let’s go back” Worth said, as I lay there on the ground about to fall asleep. The only reason why I wasn’t is because if I did, then my body would feel worse when I wake up.
“Stay awake just for a little while. You still hadn’t even eaten anything yet. And your…”
That, and Al was pestering me to stay awake. If I somehow close my eyes for just a little bit, then he’d yell at me to stay awake. He did that a couple of times now, and it was getting irritating.
I groggily got up from the nice and cold ground, and made our way back to the mansion. Glenn was waiting there at the usual spot, in front of the back entrance.
“All done, sir?” He asked.
“Yeah” Worth answered. “Can you prepare a car for us? I don’t think he’d make it if we walk back home”
“Already prepared one in front of the mansion, sir” Glenn answered, as if he already knew that this would happen. “Anything else that you might need?”
“Ah, yeah. Can you inform the hospital that we’d like an appointment with Heimmin tomorrow evening?”
“Of course, sir”
“Thanks” Worth said, as he went towards the entrance with me lagging behind. I was even exerting a lot of effort whenever I move my legs and feet because they weren’t responding to how I wanted them to. It was kind of hard to walk when your limbs don’t even feel like it.
"Huh…” The car that was prepared for today was the same one that we used yesterday, or maybe the word vehicle was more appropriate for it. Since, it’s too large for a vehicle of it’s caliber to be termed as a car.
“Get some rest because you'll be doing that again when we visit the hospital tomorrow” He said, and I just nodded my head weakly.
After he left, I slowly made my way up to my apartment room, and immediately went to bed. Al didn’t approve of it, though. And he rained a whole lot of sermons to keep me awake, so that I could eat first. But…
I don’t care. I can just have a large breakfast tomorrow morning and call it quits. I was also supposed to go jogging tonight, but I’m so tired that I don’t think I could stay awake for that long. There’s only one thing that I want right now, and a disembodied voice who may or may not have an invisible body somewhere can't stop me.
“Good night…” I yawned one last time and said that to him, even though it’s just about one in the afternoon.
“No! You can’t s-…”
That was the last thing that I heard from him before I went to dreamland. And I’m going to enjoy my time there.
…
…
“…Yudnayt”
...
“What the?”
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