《Stuff I write.》Logic vs Emotion
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I stood and watched as death descended on them. It was only twenty three people. A drop in the bucket, all things considered. I felt the corners of my mouth fall. No, not an optimal result, but necessary. I turned, and considered Myself.
I was beside Myself. A small grin found itself on my face. That was sort of funny. But, still… he was, ehhh, less than pleased with this outcome.
Myself turned to I, a quiet had befallen my typically boisterous companion.
Myself’s eyes were glazed over, his mouth agape, “Why?” he mumbled, “How?”
My frown swiftly returned, “You know why, and how. This was the result. You know what would have happened had we not done this.”
Myself found focus, and promptly fell to the floor, head in their hands, “Why? We didn’t have to? There were other ways! We could have avoided this!”
I watched, and my frown deepened, “That is no way to behave. What if someone catches you like this?”
Myself stopped, then glared at I with puffy eyes, “We just killed twenty three people, many of which we knew, and you are worried about someone seeing me like THIS?!”
Myself stood, hands clenched, his eyebrows furrowed, “Are you ashamed? Of me showing emotion? Of me being human?!”
I clicked my tongue, “Look, we have a reputation to uphold, we mean something to others, we are more than hu-”
Myself shouted, “WE ARE NOT MORE THAN HUMAN! We are people! We get emotional! We are not robots with no sense of self! We are more than a cog in a stalwart machine!”
Myself trembled, then fell again, “We are less than human, if anything. Or maybe human is less than an animal. What animal kills their own kind?”
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I sigh, then grab Myself’s shoulders, “We best get you to our room. It is dangerous to dwell.”
Myself looked back at me, “If not us, then whom? No one else knows they’re dead. They had no one else, but us.”
I sigh again, “We only got to know them to stop them. If we didn’t many more people would have died.”
Myself looked down at their hands, “Maybe nobody had to die, we didn’t even explore other options.”
I try to pull Myself up, but find him heavier than normal. I look around, then walk back to lock the door.
Myself speaks up, “You never cared, did you?”
I pause mid step. There was something in Myself’s voice. A hitch, but not sad, rather…
I found Myself standing in front of me, his fist quaking, tears falling, “You never cared, for them, or for the people you saved. You only cared for your numbers, and your logic. So long as your logic never fails, nothing else will, right?”
Myself swung out, and I took a step back, “So long as your numbers hold up, everything else will, RIGHT?!”
I fall back, and reach for a set of restraining cuffs, “Calm down. Nothing can happen if you stay volatile.”
Myself swung again, “Oh I think plenty can happen!”
I sidestepped Myself, and caught his fist. I slammed a cuff down on it, but couldn’t get his other hand, given how he had backed away.
Myself stared at the cuff dangling from his hand, “You had these on you? Were you expecting someone to come in here? No, you wouldn’t have bothered. You’d just shoot them. These were for me, weren’t they!”
I shook my head, “They were a precaution. Nothing more, nothing less. It seems I was right about preparing.”
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Myself hung his head back, and a shaking laugh ran out of his mouth, “You, heh, you prepared to stop me!”
I watched him, and stepped to the side as Myself’s fist ran forward, “You really do prepare for everything, don’t you?! I bet you already have letters of apology to send to their families, don’t you?!”
I tried to snag the other cuff, but couldn’t seem to get a hold of it. I backed up, reached up, and pulled up into the rafters.
Myself laughed again, “You knew them for years, and you still killed them!”
I yelled out from above, “They were a liability!”
Myself yelled from below, “They were family!”
I shouted back, “There is no blood relation!”
Myself finally seemed to get onto the rafters, “That’s not the point!”
I sighed, then sidestepped Myself again, but he stuck his foot out and caught mine. I fell down to the floor.
Jumping down, he yelled again, “You know their names! Say them!”
I shook my head, then stood, “They are dead, might as well call them by when they died.”
Myself stood over I, “Their names were Gerald, Elizabeth, Sam, Billy, Margaret, Alishia, Mark, Devo-” Myself was interrupted when someone came by and put the other cuff over his other hand.
I stood up straight, and dusted off my shirt, “Thank you for the assist, Now, if you could put him into a proper cell, I’d appreciate it.”
Gary looked back and forth between Myself and I, “... alright.”
I stood and walked back to the window, watching the flames burn down.
Myself yelled as he was pulled out of the room, “You didn’t win!”
I sighed, the third time now, and waited until they had left, before mumbling, “you would have won,” and sitting down on the floor, “I wouldn’t win,” I placed my hands on my face, feeling a wetness beneath my eyes, “You should have won,” then stood up, and marched out.
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