《The Big Red Button》Chapter 12: Don't Touch Weird Things
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So this chapter is kinda long compared to my usual ones. I changed my mind about there being no chapter this week, but I'm not sure if this counts as a late chapter or an early one. Doesn't matter does it?
Author’s note: Writing this in the middle of class probably isn’t a good idea, is it? Oh well.
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Though a pickaxe couldn’t really be considered a legitimate weapon, it was basically a hammer with a pointy tip. Learning to use it as a weapon would probably require more brute force than skill; just smash things with the pointy end and they would die. Plain and simple.
“I have a feeling it won’t turn out to be that easy.” Azad voiced his thoughts.
‘Thinking about it, this pickaxe isn’t actually a weapon and looks to be quite old. It would be a miracle if it could survive one fight with someone who has been trained to use a sword.
“Can I reinforce it with mana? It looked like it had something similar in it when the undead miner was using it. What was that anyways? I don’t know, but it was disgusting. Moving on, can I reinforce this thing?”
Azad took the pickaxe in both hands and began trying to pour mana into the weapon. The mana seemed to go in, but when it did he lost his control of it and couldn’t take it out. All the mana that went into the pickaxe was gone.
“Maybe it works differently for inanimate objects? Who knows, but I’ll do this every now and then. Maybe I’ll somehow benefit from it.”
As it seemed that the fighting was over and the disgusting aura was gone, Blair decided to once again claim their perch on top of Azad’s head.
“If I’m not careful, people are going to think I’m wearing a fur hat. Like one of those raccoon ones, fucking hate those hats. Always found them creepy whenever I saw someone wearing them. Who would want to wear something like a dead body on their head? I understand that it’s just the same as a leather hat, but at least the leather hate doesn’t still look like the animal.” Azad ranted.
“Speaking of leather hats. Since this is a fantasy world, is there humanoid creatures here? If so, do they have a human equivalent of the raccoon hat? What were they called? Don’t think I ever learned the name of them.”
While Azad thought of this, he made his way back to the horse and got back on its back. Once he was once again in a comfortable position, the horse began trotting down the road. If someone saw what this looked like from a stranger’s perspective, this would be a very strange scene. A blue haired man wearing nothing but a pair of raggedy old pants, with a small winged rabbit on his head and a pickaxe in hand, all while riding atop a giant horse like beast that could crush a man’s skull as if it was pudding.
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But since Azad cold only see from his view, he didn’t think much of his situation and just enjoyed the scenery. But he had seen just about all there was t seem when it came to endless hills, even if it was beautiful. He decided to take his time adjusting to the feel of the pickaxe, or whatever the fighting people would do when they got a new weapon. He figured he would get it eventually.
After falling from the horse a few times, he decided it was best to do this while standing. So now Azad was walking besides the horse beast, and Blair who was sleeping on the back of it. They had decided that Azad was moving too much for a good sleep.
Azad switched from winging it with one hand and two hands. From the way he wanted to fight, one hand would be better, he could still use spells that way. Though before he made it to that, he needed to at least be able to swing his pick straight. Azad had decided that not using his body reinforcement would increase his improvement, as well as train his body.
Maybe from his excessive use of mana, or maybe just his untrained body and amateur movements, he got tried from swinging quicker than he thought he would. He retired to the back of the horse beast and rested.
Gathering his mana back would be impossible with the rocking of the horse, so he decided to just watch the road ahead and attempt to keep a lookout for anything dangerous. Azad only got to rest for an hour before the horse stopped once again and began to look around as if it was looking for something.
“Now what? Something dangerous?” Azad looked around the area to try and spot something. His eyes landed on one thing that looked quite suspicious indeed. Enough so that he wondered how he hadn’t noticed it before.
It was a massive 7-foot statue of a plate armored person. That was what it looked like at first, but on closer inspection it appeared to be a massive corpse of a knight. From past experiences Azad knew better than to just walk up to it, but it really did just seem like a statue. It wasn’t even giving off the dreadful feeling that the miner 49er guy was.
Azad decided that his best course of action was to pick up a nearby rock and chuck it at the monstrosity. It hit the center of the beast’s chest with a satisfying metal clunk. The thing didn’t seem to react to it and just continued to sit there in its kneeling position.
“Is it really safe? Should I walk up to it just to be sure? If it gets up, it’s going to be like fourteen feet tall, and I’m not sure I would be able to kill it if it does attack me. Maybe I should just pass it by….”
Azad thought about his decision for a few minutes before coming to the obvious conclusion.
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“Imma gonna touch it and just deal with what happens afterwards!” Azad said as he began walking towards the statue. He made it 5 step from the statue before being forced to stop. It had started getting up.
The rusted creaking of the metal indicated how old it the amour was. The bastard sword of the behemoth that was previously stuck in the ground was ripped free and rested on the shoulder of its owner. The undead knight towered over Azad as if he was an ant.
“This probably won’t end well, will it?” Azad asked as the behemoth sent him flying with a single punch of its massive fist.
Azad had momentarily blacked out, only to come to from the shock of landing.
“Holy fucking shit that hurts!” Azad hurt all over his body, but mainly in the arm he had used to block the punch. Even though he had reinforced it, it was clearly broken and twisted at the wrong angle. Even if he did have enough mana to heal it, he didn’t have the confidence to heal it fast enough before the behemoth made it over to him, which it was in the process of doing.
The behemoth was surprisingly fast for its size and was already nearly within range for it to swing its sword at Azad.
“Oh god!” Azad shouted as the behemoth suddenly took an extra-large step forward and began to swing the sword. Azad attempted to dodge by jumping backwards, but didn’t make it far enough. While he did make it so he wasn’t cut in half, he still got a nasty gash on his stomach.
“Fuck! God damn you!” The pain was terrible, but Azad could deal with it. What he couldn’t deal with though was the weird dark shit that was currently infesting his wound. It felt as if it was eating away at his flesh.
“FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!” All Azad could do was scream in pain. While he did this, the behemoth walked over to Azad and raised its sword overhead, preparing to finish off Azad.
It swung down like a guillotine, hitting its target and cracking the ground with its force, but its target was not dead. In a small crater was Azad, holding the sword with his previously broken right arm, black lines running down it.
With little effort, Azad flung the sword back upwards, causing the behemoth to stumble back from the force. Once it had regained its balance, it got into what looked to be a defensive stance.
“Wow I feel good. Is this what drugs feel like?” Despite his situation, Azad still made jokes as he walked out of the small crater and towards the behemoth.
The behemoth seemed confused at what was happening. Just a few seconds ago it was about to kill a weak creature that had disturbed it, but now it was facing a threat. It took a step back and prepared itself.
“Well, let’s see what I can do!” Azad said as he launched himself towards the behemoth. Though he stepped in so fast, he didn’t mean to. It was hard to suddenly control his new strength. He couldn’t stop himself in time, so he accidently flew headfirst into the behemoth, flinging it back a few paces, while Azad fall flat on the ground.
“That did not go as I thought it would.” Azad mumbled though the dirt. Azad stood up once again, careful not to jump into the sky, and faced the behemoth who was now going on the offensive.
It was doing a side swipe with its sword. Azad decided to be cocky and grab the sword. He stuck out his left hand in order to stop the sword. When it made contact with his hand, the force pushed Azad to the side a bit, but the sword was stopped.
Azad had another idea. He kept a firm grip with his left hand while also grabbing the sword with his right hand. He raised it slightly, and then lowered it onto his knee, snapping the blade.
Once he did a quick overlook at the damage he did, Azad let go of both halves of the sword. One falling to the ground with a thunk, and the other being quickly pulled away from Azad by the behemoth, who was even more confused by what was happening. It just looked at the broken end of its sword as if it couldn’t believe what just happened.
While it was trying to figure out if this was a dream or not, Azad walked over to his pick, which he had dropped when the behemoth punched him. He picked it up and made his way back to his enemy, while still trying to control his strength.
Azad stopped right in front of the behemoth, and began his swing. The behemoth barely noticed in time to block with the flat side of the sword. This did it no good though, as the pickaxe’s point went straight through it and into the armor, but not reaching the behemoth’s body.
Though it didn’t reach, a sudden invisible force shot out from the pickaxe’s point, through the behemoth and out the other side. Azad yanked his pick from the behemoth and took a step back expecting another attack, but none came. The behemoth stood there for a few moments before it let out a screech. Black mist began to shoot out from its helmet like a tea kettle.
It dropped its sword and fell to its knees, still screeching and spewing the black mist. Soon after both the screaming and the mist stopped, and the behemoth fell face first to the ground.
“Well, that was loud and annoying. What was that black shit anyways?” Azad asked before also falling face first to the ground, unconscious.
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