When I awoke, I found myself lying just inside the entrance of the cave. Clutched in my hand, there was also a bag made of some white cloth that was smooth to the touch. I opened it, and although I could not be completely sure, it looked exactly like a bunch of violet ivies. I peered back into the cave and shuddered. I would not dare to check out this cave again for a number of reasons.

When I left the cave, the sun was still out, so I let out a sigh of relief, but then I realized I had no way of knowing if it was still the same day. I rushed back up the canyon slope, which was much harder climbing up than down, especially since my body had not recovered in the slightest. It was a very strenuous exercise, but I did it as quickly as I could and ran back to where I had left Flora and Tasha. They were still there and I collapsed onto the ground immediately after passing the bag to Flora. She probably questioned where I even got the bag, but I was too tired to answer and I wasn’t even sure if it was asked anyways.

I lay down on the ground next to Tasha without any more sense of the passage of time. Eventually, Flora tried shaking me awake, but my body refused to move and my eyes remained closed. Soon after, I felt my mouth being gently forced open just enough to allow some warm liquid to trickle in. I swallowed it, but nothing seemed to happen. After some time, I felt my body go cold as my fever faded away. Once again, I realized that I was covered in sweat. As I contemplated getting up and removing my armour despite the lingering fatigue, I heard Tasha stir awake. Flora came over excitedly and realized that I was awake as well.

After taking some time to recover a bit more, we left the ruins. The sun was starting to set so we decided to go back to the oasis to camp for the night. It was a rather somber dimer. All of us were mentally and physically exhausted and spent a good amount of time terrified about something. Shortly after we finished eating, Tasha turned to us and bowed her head.

“I’m sorry.” Had it been said any time before now, I would have figured such an apology was long overdue. Now though…it just seemed entirely overshadowed by a multitude of other things I was thinking and feeling about.

“What are you sorry about?” Flora asked, sounding genuinely confused.

“I- I was reckless. I almost died today, and dad could have died too. If it weren’t for you two…”

“N-no, don’t say that, Tasha. You couldn’t have known about the poison!” Flora reasoned.

“I didn’t, but you kept saying how we should have left. And dad, I didn’t even want to listen to you anymore so I just ran ahead.” To be honest, I felt this was probably just as much my fault as hers, but I kept quiet.

“I- It was just a feeling,” Flora said, her voice back to its usual timidness.

“And I should have trusted that feeling!” Tasha raised her head as she shouted that back at Flora. Yeah, I should have trusted that feeling too. Tasha looked at me. “And I shouldn’t have just ignored you.” I felt like something was tugging at my heart. It seemed to me that Tasha was openly voicing what I was also starting to blame myself for. However, I was too much of a coward to say them. “I am so very sorry to both of you. I overestimated myself. I thought I could take on anything and that the two of you just needed to stand by me. Today, it was a poisoned tunnel. But, what if it was their base? I am not confident that I can beat them anymore. I think…I would have just lost. And that means it would be my fault that we all lost. I…I cannot be so stupid anymore. Neither of you deserve to be hurt because of my mistakes.”

No, I’m the one with the most responsibility to bear. I acted like I knew the best for everyone and I tried to force you to act accordingly. I’m the one who thought I was invincible. I’m the one who thought the rest of you would get hurt if you didn’t do what I told you to do. I let you get into this situation because I wanted to make you learn. It was a terrible lesson. I hate myself for it. But…why can’t I tell them any of this? I just remained silent as the two girls continued to speak.

“Tasha…you don’t need to apologize to me. If I think you’re wrong, I will tell you that you are wrong. Um, I know that sometimes…I have a hard time saying what I want to say, but if I was truly against you, I’d speak up. If something happens, I’m to blame as well.” Perhaps it was because of my own guilt, but I found Flora’s apologetic nature to be almost infuriating now. She did speak up. But we didn’t listen. She spoke up multiple times and was ignored every single time. Flora, you were right. Just say ‘I told you so’. You are being far too nice.

“No, Flora, I do need to apologize. This was my fault, not yours. I’m the one who suggested going after the True-Bloods. I refused to change my mind on that, and I’m sure you knew that.” Tasha’s expression became pained, and she was clenching her teeth now. Sensing she was on the verge of tears, Flora moved in close to comfort her.

“How can I blame someone for acting honestly? You did what you thought was right, and even if I don’t agree, I’m the one who decided to follow.” Damnit, Flora, can’t you see that Tasha wants you to blame her? Tell her she was wrong, that she was stupid and reckless. Tell her that she should have known better and that next time she needs to be more considerate. And then…forgive her. That’s what she wants.

“T- that’s only because you had no choice! You couldn’t just leave by yourself…” Tasha’s body was quivering, and Flora wrapped her arms around her.

“Tasha,” her tone was a bit stricter than before, “I’m not that weak-willed. Do you think I would follow around bloodthirsty bandits rather than be alone?” Tasha let out a kind of strange gasp. “I wouldn’t. I am here because you are good people. Even if sometimes you don’t believe it.” I instinctively felt that shot was directed more at me than at Tasha. “And that’s why you don’t need to apologize to me for as long as you stay true to yourself. I fully accept you as you are.” Tasha broke down into tears, bawling her eyes out onto Flora’s shoulder. I slowly stood up, and Flora peered over at me. She gave me a reassuring smile. I did not return it. I went for a walk along the edge of the oasis as Tasha continued to cry.

During my walk, I thought about what I was going to do next. Well, first of all, has anything really changed? Do I feel like we are now traveling on a different path? I kept these kinds of questions to myself because I wasn’t keen to hear what Flora’s or Tasha’s take on them might be. I know that that is probably an immature reason. No, it definitely is. But, I’ve always just wanted to do whatever I wanted, right? So what if I’m forcing us towards my direction? My perspective? Isn’t that a natural thing to do? We all head towards whatever we want, and we compromise along the way. I’ve already compromised plenty, haven’t I? I didn’t want to take the fight to the True-Bloods, yet here we came anyway. I wanted to just kill them all to make sure they don’t become a threat again, yet I spared some of them anyway. That’s enough, right? This is what I believe, but, although I won’t say I’m wrong, I don’t feel like I’m right, either. Just what should I do?

After returning to our campsite, I immediately got ready to go to sleep. Other than wishing them good night, I didn’t say anything else. I had some difficulty getting to sleep as I silently went over questions in my head. Many of them old, but a couple new ones also proved to be difficult to answer. I thought back on the cave in the canyon. It wasn’t just a dream or some illusion, right? I found myself shuddering. I hope I don’t end up feeling so helpless again when faced with a regular spider. I thought harder on the matter, getting past the spiders, and tried to focus on the man. I couldn’t recall any new details about him, so I tried to remember his words next. Something about souls, and good and evil. All probably metaphorical, I would assume. I couldn’t make sense of spiritual stuff like that, so I tried harder to remember anything else. My encounter may have been entirely incidental, so searching my mind for some kind of answer from this could have been completely pointless, yet I persisted. Although, that was probably because the other questions I was trying to answer earlier proved to be even more difficult. As I continued to think, I eventually did find myself growing tired. My concentration dwindled as sleep started to take over. Just as I was thinking this was for the best, one word surfaced just before I fell asleep: northwest.

*****

The man stirred awake. He had that dream again, the one he’s had so many times for so many years. Because of this, it was rare for him to ever have a restful sleep, but in some respects, that may have been a good thing. Or, at least that’s how he sometimes thought. At least he was awake more often, with more time to put his mind to his mission. However, as he blinked his eyes in the darkness, he felt there was another reason he awoke.

“Are you there, Mars?” he asked into the darkness. There was now the sound of someone lightly shuffling around.

“So, you could tell it was me?”

“I can’t think of anyone else who would just silently stand there in the dark.” The man got up from the mat he was sleeping on and stared into the darkness, just making out his visitor’s figure from what little moonlight came in from holes from one wall. “So, what is it you’ve come here to say?”

“Just here to give you my report,” he replied curtly, unperturbed by the lack of pleasantries.

“Well, that hardly seems necessary. I’ve already gotten word about what your men have been up to. I’ve also already received some local reports recently. So, I hope that your report comes with a proper explanation.”

“Explanation for what?” The man let out a heavy sigh as he got onto his feet. He made his way over to a shelf by the wall and lit up one of the candles that rested there. The flame partly lit up the open, stone room. The room was bare of almost any furnishings, only a mat and some boxes and barrels lying on the floor. There wasn’t even a proper table. The man then walked over towards Mars, who was being just barely illuminated as he stood just on the edge of the lighted area. He wore a fur hat and was draped in a fur coat that was open, revealing a set of bronze armour underneath.

“The soldier you reprimanded also gave me a report in line with the rest of his unit. He said that after chasing some people out of a Battle-Hardened village they attacked, you arrived with reinforcements, but allowed them to escape. Now, your stated reason was that they were humans. Of course, if that is true, then there is no issue. However, the cavalry brigade that returned to base reported a group of individuals matching the description of the ones who you let escape. They are fully confident that those individuals were definitely not human. So, Mars, I hope you are ready to explain yourself.”

“Are you sure this is not all just some coincidence?” Mars asked unconvincingly.

“Mars, I’ve always known that your investment into our cause is unlike the others. However, you have proven to be very useful. This is why I made you my Lieutenant-Colonel. If you’ve just been playing around with us all along, though, do not think I will take this lying down.” Despite the shadow covering his face, he thought he saw Mars smirk.

“I assure you, I will play no part in directly interfering with your mission. In fact, I would more than love it if you could become even more successful. And that is the other reason I have come here tonight.” Mars stepped closer towards the other man. “Something crucial is going to happen soon, and I want to know the level of your conviction.”

“My conviction?” he asked, before scoffing. “If I was not determined to see my mission out until the end, would I have done all of this? Would I have raised such a strict code of conduct? Would I have deserted my own homeland if I did not have such conviction?” Mars continued to walk closer, stopping when they were just a few feet apart.

“That is reassuring to hear. In that case, I have a wonderful reward for you. I will take that conviction you’ve invested your life into, and turn it into power.” Bright sparks of red started to fly off his right hand like an exposed cable. “Do you accept?” Mars put his hand out right in front of him. The man had a rather grim expression that was briefly marred by surprise. However, his stoic expression quickly returned, and eventually, he nodded.