When the crown is placed on his head, a king may consider himself officially a king. When Wally had the prosthetic hook bolted into the bones on his arm stump, he officially considered himself a Pirate.

"It's makes your slave look quite fetching sir, I'm sure you'll be considered a trend setter." The prosthetic shop owner told Doofus as he and Wally checked his new hand out in the mirror.

The store owner was a stylish elderly gecko who had been in the prosthetic business for over 50 years. He had worked his way up from nothing and now owned the most reputable prosthetic store in the richest district of Scaletopia. He was a true professional gentleman.

When a dimwitted sailor entered his store with a bleeding slave, he didn't even blink in surprise. He guided the two customers to the prosthetic attachment room where he had all the surgery tools required to stop the bleeding and prepare the slave for a prosthetic.

When the man and his slave had declined a fully functional working hand prosthetic and instead asked for an unbreakable bladed hook hand to be bolted on, he didn't ask why or make a fuss. Instead he drew up a design they were happy with and set his stolen Scientist tech 3d printer to the highest strength setting. The materials would cost quite a bit, as that setting required quite a few rare materials, but it's unbreakability was guaranteed.

Regarding the payment. When the customer assured him that payment would be made after attachment, he did not dare question or doubt them. He truly believed the best in people and never judged them on appearance alone. He simply wrote out an invoice to be paid at a later date. And besides, he had many knee breakers and black market organ sellers on his payroll for when his beliefs in people were not met.

This was hardly the most unusual job he had done in all his years, but something did stand out to him. As he finished bolting the hook on, a feeling of rightness waved over him. This human was meant to have a hook for a hand. It was right. He had never found the absolute perfect prosthetic for a customer before today. He felt fulfilled beyond words, like his entire life's work was building up to this. This was what he was destined for.

However he was too much of a gentleman to insult his customer’s financial situation by refusing payment, “Yes, fetching indeed. Now sir, regarding the payment we spoke of earlier…”

Rather than the sailor, it was the slave who spoke up, “Mate, for what ye have given me, I’ll be paying double. And that will be the last time I ever pay for anything again in my life. I swear it on me granny’s teeth. You both wait here. I’ll be right back”

Normally the owner would disapprove of a slave speaking out of turn in his shop as such things were quite improper. And normally such foul language in his establishment would result in a stern look, followed by a disappointed shake of the head. But this man’s words insulted the soul directly in such a way that you knew he should be heard and that he meant every syllable.

“Aren’t you just gonna run away?” Doofus asked, “You don’t have any money, right?”

“Don’t you worry about that mate, I’ll procure it soon enough.” Wally grinned back at the two as he exited the shop.

The two smiled awkwardly at each other as they waited. The owner was too much of a gentleman to start a conversation with someone who might prefer to wait silently. Doofus was thinking about naked lizard girls.

Several screams could be heard outside of the shop. The gentleman professionally stayed with his customer and didn’t allow himself to be distracted. Doofus was too distracted to be distracted.

Twenty minutes later, Wally strutted back into the shop and dropped a sack of coins onto the counter. “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” Wally joked.

Being a lizard of high class, he of course recognised the reference to the 2000 year old human movie ‘Home Alone’ and didn't take offence at Wally’s words, “Thank you very much for your patronage, good sirs.” he bowed to the two.

“No Worries mate.” Wally gave the man a thumbs up, “ Before we head out, know where I can pick up a good pair of boots with straps for knives on ‘em?”

“Certainly, sir.” the gentleman replied “The ‘Imperial Boots With Knife Straps attached boutique’ is highly recommended and can be found only three doors down. II think it will suit your needs most appropriately. And if I may be so bold as to recommend, ‘The Duke and Duchess, Boot Knife Emporium’ over in the merchant square has some of the finest knives made for strapping to boots that I have ever seen.”

“Ya don’t say. That sounds perfect. Cheers mate.” Wally raised a bottle of Doofusbrew to the gentleman. “Know where those places are first mate Doofus?”

“Yup, but why’re you calling me First mate? I’m just an errand boy.”

“Not on my ship, ye ain’t.”

The two left the store, stepping over the large amount of mugging victims lying just outside. Onward to get Wally some boots!

Fred was being held down by Sonia and Tomas as he had a fear seizure upon seeing Destiny fish. He was frothing at the mouth with his eyes rolled back in his head.

“Destiny, what happened?” Einstein asked, looking at the unconscious pair on the ground.

“That's what I was just about to ask you dude.” said destiny looking at the Quintuplets’ dead bodies.

“DNA Jellyfish sent his assassins here. Probably for me. I kinda agreed to a meeting with him and forgot about it. You know how he is.”

“Hahaha Yup, that's the classic DNA right there. As for these two dudes. They started having a ‘destined to end in friendship’ fight right in front of me and then just before the magic happened, they both ended up being ‘destined to be horribly killed by something’. Couldn't let something so ugly happen to something so beautiful, you know what I'm saying?”

“No, not really.”

“Lol, guess it’s a destiny sense thing. Anyways I think we should like, hide or something. Whatdya say? Wanna come chill at mine for a bit?”

“Yes, that sounds like a good idea. If you don’t mind…”

“Of course not, dude! Mi casa es tu kasa.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing dude, just making sounds with my mouth. No foriegn languages here. Lessgo!” Destiny wrapped everyone present up into a magical bubble and flew them off to his crib.

Wally Kicked open the doors to the ‘The Duke and Duchess, Boot Knife Emporium’ and charged in, “Yer boot knives, or yer lives, which is it to be?

“Welcome sir,” an elegant lady lizard in a fine dress greeted, “A fine pair of boots you have there. I recognise the style of Mr. Zucchini from the Imperial Boots With Knife Straps attached boutique, Marvellous. And might I add you have impeccable choice in prosthetics. But look at me babbling on. Jimlad, go fetch the gentleman a selection of boot knives made for human hands. Be hasty about it.”

“Right-o, ma’am,” A skinny child said in a cockney accent.

“While he fetches your knives, might I offer you… ” Doofus had just entered the store, “gentlemen some tea?”

“Na, I’m good, thanks love. You Doof?”

Doofus shook his head.

Wally was regretting his decision to never pay for anything ever again in his life. The customer service in Scalesville was impeccable. At the previous store, Mr. Zucchini the boot maker had been a charming elderly goanna who had entertained Wally and Doofus with tales of his youth while he measured up and prepared a perfect pair of boots for Wally to steal. He regretted having to do it, but while he was here he should pick up some more quality products for his new lifestyle.

“Do ye know where I can pick up a triangle hat perchance? Oh, and a laser pistol! Used to have this slicko one but it ran outta batteries when I broke out of prison.”

“A triangle hat should be easy enough. ‘Goldenscale’s Triangle hat Traders’ is the only place in town to get one, but they’re selection is unrivaled in all of New Siren.”

“I know Mr. and Mrs. Goldenscale,” Doofus perked up, “They used to feed me and the other street orphans when I was a boy.”

Wally cursed and weighed going back on his word about not paying for anything v.s. Not having a triangle hat.

“As for a laser pistol, you may have some trouble there.” the lady continued. “The magical fish have banned laser weapons. Only Laser Fish herself is allowed to shoot lasers.”

“A magical fish?” a memory stirred within wally. “I’m pretty good at fishing, Where’d I go to find a Laser Fish?”

“Cause enough trouble and The Laser Fish will come find you. She’s something of a peacekeeper. Oh, dreadfully sorry to change topic all of a sudden, but here’s Jimlad with your knives. Let’s get them fitted.”

“Trouble ain't no trouble.” Wally grinned and followed after the lady.

Later:

Scaletopia burned.

Earlier in the slave office, a hat-less Wally had burst through the door. “Get up you Flea-ridden mongrels. We gotta cause some trouble!” Wally ran around unlocking the slaves and kicking them out the front door. Emergency alarms sounded as a full blown revolt took place throughout. It wasn't just the slaves; every sailor, criminal, and unwashed individual found themselves drawn to follow Wally’s charisma. This was Wally’s power in play. The supernatural effect of having a belly full of booze and a hook for a hand made him an unparalleled pirate leader. Scaletopia would fall and from its ashes, a decrepit pirate den would arise.

Divination fish had called a meeting with all of the fish in charge of defending New Siren. All attended except Vegetable Fish, who was taking his turn patrolling in space.

“Thanks for coming everyone, the reason I have called you all here is something big has been happening since that monster entered our space the other day.” Divination addressed the gathered fish. “Wolfstead, Coolsville, Scaletopia, and New Chook’s Creek have all been attacked and partially destroyed.”

“The Faction capitals? Are they fighting each other?” Kinetic Fish asked.

“Not yet, it appears this was the work of a few powerful individuals. However, The leaders of the N.W.A. have been killed. The faction is in disarray and are out looking for blood. The leader of SNOOP is missing, even to me. Without her they aren't so interested in friendly diplomacy. And the leader of WU-TANG’s Husband has also gone missing. As you can imagine, she has already mobilized her armies and is ready to go to war to get him back. If the scale tribe falls, the balance holding the notorious BIG together may break and their hatred for the other factions may start conflicts. Basically someone has been manipulating them into total world war again.” Divination fish explained.

“Powerful individuals? Can you elaborate?” asked Laser fish.

“Actually, maybe DNA Jellyfish can explain better. The attack on Coolsville was conducted by his elites and I have found two of them dead.”

All eyes turned to DNA, “Only two dead? Good that means I’ll be able to kill the remaining two for failing me. I conducted a personal investigation into the ‘thing’ that attacked the other day. One of the parts it was dropping onto the planet landed near me. It was a life pod containing a Scientist.”

“Have the scientists returned to power?” Teleport Fish interrupted.

“Stop interrupting me and I might tell you..” Jellyfish Paused to give Teleport a long stare. “As I was saying, a life pod containing a Scientist. I interrogated said scientist and found that he and the ‘ship’ he had arrived on. He called it a ship by the way. Were both related to SNOOP’s leader Einstein. I ordered her to come give me an explanation, which she refused to do. My elites were simply retrieving her for me.”

A voice rumbled from the deep, “Is it possible that you were lied to in order to invoke an attack upon the SNOOP faction?” World fish inquired.

“No, the interrogation went very well.” too well, DNA now realised. ‘Did the little green idiot trick me?!’ He fumed internally, not daring to voice his possible failure to the others.

“Thank you DNA. With that information, I can divine the locations of two of the attackers,” Divination fish said, looking at her esca. “There are others, but there is some kind of magical interference.”

“A traitor?!” Kinetic Fish asked? The room grew cold.

“It’s more likely someone acting on their own like DNA did.” Said Laser Fish, trying to calm everyone before they started acting crazy. “I have to ask, was it anyone here? The room remained silent. “Ok then let’s investigate those two that you can see. Where are they?”

“One is near Apple Pisland,”

“I’ll investigate that one.” DNA said.

“And the other is in Scaletopia.” Divination finished.

“I will take that one.” said Laser. “Everyone else keep an eye out and ask around with the others to see if we can figure out who is interfering with Divinity Fish’s magic. Sounds good?”

Everyone agreed. As Laser swam off she thought to herself, ‘Destiny Fish was complaining about cheering up an octopus being hard work. What a wimp!’