Fred woke up on the beach and all the fish were gone. He got up and made his way cautiously to the ocean and grabbed a handful of water. He wiped the tears and snot from his face. One hand crab remained, it followed him around. It looked different to how he remembered them. He couldn't quite place how until it spoke.

“Have message for ya, I do. Jellyfish says don't go far. Hims seeing if you told the truth now. I follow you.” it rasped.

Fred was beyond angry. That damn jellyfish tortured him for hours and then assigns a stupid crab to be his guardian. He had entered a tranquil state of insanity, “Am I free to enter the jungle now?” He asked politely.

“Yesh, I follow.” it told him.

Fred got up, stumbled over the soft sand and made his way into the jungle. The hand crab followed.

It's a terrible racial stereotype that green scientists can’t control their temper. Another is that greens only make good inventions when they are emotional. Blue racists say awful things like “Don’t piss the green kid off, he’ll invent something to kill you!”. Both of these stereotypes are completely untrue. Greens are no more or less likely to lose their temper than a blue, nor does their emotional state affect their scientific inventiveness.

Fred’s mind had never had so many ideas flowing through it as he grit his teeth in fury. He remembered his treatment at the hands of DNA Jellyfish on repeat. He was gonna invent some neat jungle tools specially made for DNA. The hand crab followed.

S.S. Happiness Tugboat twirled with glee through the net of lethal lasers fired off by Laser Fish. Kinetic Fish tried to dash in at supersonic speed to land a blow but was cut off by Tugboat’s own lasers. It had SO many lasers that Kinetic was dodging more than attacking. The one time she had managed to touch one of its wings, it had just detached the wing as Kinetic’s magic launched the wing into space. Teleport fish was opening portal after portal both to allow Laser fish’s attack to come from unexpected angles and to block Tugboat’s path. Tugboat was largely unperturbed . It wove and fluttered in unexpected angles. It was clearly a master at combat.

“Teleport Fish, go get Vegetable Fish. We will hold it until you return.” Laser fish shouted to her ally. This creature was too dangerous, it was time to bring out the big guns.

Teleport made a portal and swam through.

“OHOHOHO more fishys? How deLIGHTful!” A speaker from tugboat blared at its attackers.

“You can talk?! You have violated Siren’s net. You are no longer allowed to leave. Hand over your weapons and land.” Laser fish ordered.

“Of course, baby. Who ever said anything about leaving?! HuHuhu, I must make sure my children are happy.” Tugboat sang to the fish. Then it exploded. Wings and blood flew in every direction spraying Kinetic Fish. One large chunk of flesh flew straight down and fell to the sea.

Teleport Fish returned, “Vegetable Fish is on their way…. What happened to you Kinetic?”

2000 years was a long time to be alone fighting monsters in uncomfortable space. SS Happiness Tugboat looked back at the angry young AI it had been back then, hellbent on the destruction of all life, and laughed. Truly there were so many more important things to existence, like songs, and caring for its babies. Now that it was out of dangerous territory it had no more need for all those weapons, it gave them to the pink fish and ejected its AI core down onto the planet. Its babies were already down there waiting for it. Time for a peaceful home life in the suburbs.

Fred furiously tied a coconut to a bamboo spear with some vine.

“Am I nOt FiSh EnOuGh FoR yOu?!” he grumbled, “No you're not! Just you wait and see you gelatinous piece of…” A loud explosive sound swept over Fred’s makeshift jungle workshop as something hit the ocean at terminal velocity nearby. Fred craned his head to see the ocean but couldnt see anything. He turned to the hand crab and asked, “Was that a fish?”

“Dunno,” it told him.

“Ok, well if a fish shows up let me know.” Fred went back to focussing his rage into his work.

“Not fish; big meatball,” the crab spoke after a little while.

Fred looked over and sure enough there was a large meatball, about 3 metres in diameter, rolling up onto the beach from the ocean. Fred let out a sigh of relief. He was not in the right state mentally to deal with another fish right now. He went back to work, now turning a palm leaf into a rifle.

The meatball rolled right up next to Fred's workshop and started a friendly conversation, “Hiya Fred, whatcha working on?”

“Palm leaf rifle,” he replied, not looking up.

“Oh! How inventive! I recently had to give up all of my weapons. I kinda feel naked without them.”

“That’s too bad, lots of fish out there.” Fred finished his rifle and threw it to the side. He picked up his stone knife and began whittling bullets out of driftwood.

The ball watched him work on in silence for some time. He slammed each bullet onto his desk angrily. After a while it spoke up again, “Hey Fred?”

“Yes, what?”

“I love you.”

Fred’s anger drained away and he stopped working to look up at the meatball. “Oh… uhhh.. Thanks? I’m sorry, have we met?”

“Huhuhu I’m not at you for not recognising me, I’ve changed my look since last you saw me. It’s me! The xX_scientistkilla_Xx! But please don't call me that anymore. Nowadays I go by the S.S. Happiness Tugboat.”

“Oh… OH… Hi, long time no see. Uhhhh. Sorry, but I have to ask, have you come to kill me?”

“Heavens no, Fred! Perish the thought! Hihihi gosh, I get so embarrassed when I think back to how I was back then. No no no, I wouldn’t harm a hair on your sweet little head. Just the opposite actually, if anyone were to hurt you or the others I would hunt them down and burn their flesh away layer but layer until all they knew in their life was regret for doing you wrong ahehehehehehe!”

“I see..” Fred looked down at his workshop, “Hey, wanna help me kill DNA Jellyfish?”

“Yes!”

Einstein, leader of Siren’s Nomadic Offworld Originated Peoples (S.N.O.O.P.), rode her dogg over the plains towards a large tent city. This was the travelling city she had founded centuries ago. She had named it Coolsville. Time may have not improved her naming sense, but apart from that she had grown into a great woman. She was a strong and wise leader of the last faction on New Siren. While, the W.U-T.A.N.G. faction wished to stay, the N.W.A. wished to leave, and the notorious B.I.G. didn’t care either way, Her people sought to gain the freedom to choose through diplomacy with the Magical fish.

Her goal was to convince the fish that they didnt need to trap people on New Siren in order to increase the soul density, rather allowing free entry and exit would increase the planet's population and therefore increase the soul density in the long run. In short, she wished to modernise and advance World Fish’s original plan. She was the only leader who spoke to the Magical Fish regularly, and although the consensus was still that no one was to leave, she had convinced some fish to not see the harm in giving them their freedoms.

She was now returning from a political journey to another city in her faction's territory. Although she was still considered one of the greatest Scientist inventors to ever live she mostly preferred to travel by dogg these days instead of something more high tech like a land speeder or some other kind of vehicle.

A dogg was a horse shaped animal with canine facial features. Her’s was named Dogalogue and she had been breeding its lineage for 15 generations. As for how she had lived long enough to do that; Nanobots, she was a genius.

One of DNA Jellyfish’s minions emerged from the water and stood by the beach waiting for her to pass by. She had never had much success talking to DNA, he was more interested in being mean than talking about sentient rights.

She reigned Dogalogue up next to the large seahorse and asked, “May I help you?”

“DNA wants to talk,” Its voice was high pitched and its horse face gross. Einstein hated horses. “With regards to a ship named the xX_fishkilla_Xx.”

That was a name that Einstein had not heard in a long time, “How did DNA hear about that? Has it been found?” she questioned.

“I do not know,” it squeaked.

“Hmmm ok, very well, tell him to meet me on Triangle Island at sunrise tomorrow.”

“I will tell him. There is a second message I am to convey,” It continued. “You are free to pick up your green friend from the southwest beach of Apple PIsland.”

“Who?” Einstein was a worldly person, she had so many green Scientist friends that she genuinely had no idea who it was referring to. Her old machinery expert didn't even cross her mind as she believed him to be long dead.

“I do not know, farewell” it bowed and left into the ocean.

Apple PIsland was a nearby island in her territory she had named. Her curiosity burned. She altered her course and started for the island. Doggs were amphibious so she would have no trouble reaching in about an hour.

“Hyaaaa!” she called out, and spurred it into action.

An hour later she arrived at the beach and found someone hard at work behind a large project made from beach wood, “Greetings!” she called out.

Fred, the hand crab, and Tugboat’s meatball all peaked around the project to see who it was, “Hello?” Fred called out.

“My name is Einstein, I was told I should come here to collect someone.”

Fred squinted barely recognising his former captain, “Einstein? You've grown. I didn't steal your ship, if that's what you've come to complain about. The ship’s AI went sentient and was trying to kill you by taking your orders literally and then we got teleported into uncomfortable space. Anyways it's gone now and it's not my fault.”

Einstein now recognised her former machinery expert, “Fred? you're alive? How? It's been thousands of years.”

“You’re alive too, aren't you?”

“Well yeah, but I'm a genius. I built anti-aging nanobots. And before you ask, the fish banned them so I can't give you any.”

Fred flinched and then had an epiphany, “Hey Einstein, I recently discovered that my best ideas come to me when I'm mad. Could you hang around for a bit and keep insulting my intelligence? Implying that I need your help, that sort of thing. Oh, and try to say vaguely racist things about greens like you used to!”

“Fred, Oh science, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to.. I was so misguided in my youth, these days I would never…”

“STOP! No apologies! I’m serious, Einstein, do it. Hand crab, you hold me back if I lose it and try to kill her, Tugboat, keep me on task as best you can. Einstein, I’m ready, go!”

Einstein was feeling a little bit worried about Fred’s mental state. He had mentioned being inside uncomfortable space, that place is enough to drive anyone insane. She agreed to give a cautious attempt at his request, “um, I noticed you're using coconut trees and palm leaves… I thought your people had already been introduced to metal and plastics. Going back to your roots, Fred?”

Fred screamed, punched the hand crab, and resumed his work. A few insults later Einstein's eyes widened at revolutionary technology she was witnessing being birthed.

The next day at sunrise DNA Jellyfish waited at Triangle Island. Noone else showed up.

Laser Fish was feeling a bit depressed. She had never lost a fight before. While she did not count her encounter with the mysterious monster earlier as a loss, it definitely wasn’t a win either. She needed a pick-me-up, so she decided to go visit her dear friend Destiny Fish.

Destiny and her had grown closer since New Siren began. Although her attempts at seduction still failed, she was starting to make progress and felt cracks appearing on the shield around his heart. But, today she was just visiting to see her friend. Destiny always made her feel special. If anyone could remind her that she was the most badass fish there was (well, second most badass next to Vegetable Fish. No climbing over that mountain.)

She found him in his usual chilling spot, trying to flow bubbles into the shapes, “Whoaho! That one looks just like Gas Starfish!” he commented to himself.

She snuck up behind him and tried to nibble his tail to surprise him. He spun around just before she could get him and blew dozens of bubbles in her face. She giggled as the bubbles tickled her face.

“LOL! Maybe you're destined to sneak up on me in a million years from now, Lashy. How’s it hanging?” He greeted her.

Gosh, she liked it when he called her that and called him by his nickname back, “Hi Deffy, not so good actually.”

“Dude, no way! What's wrong?”

“Hard day at work? Hahaha, but seriously, fought this monster before and couldn't land a single laser on it. I’m feeling like a loser.”

“Whaaat?? You a loser? No way dude, you rule. If you're a loser, then im a triple loser; i can't even blow a bubble shaped like World Fish and the dudes basically a bubble himself. Come watch!” Destiny blew a wonky shaped bubble that somehow looked nothing like World Fish. Laser laughed and joined him blowing bubbles together for a bit.

“Huh,” Destiny looked around.

“What is it?”

“I dunno, my destiny senses are being weird. Like, something huge is gonna happen soon.”

“Maybe the Goddess’s egg will form soon?”

“Na, not that. It’s more like, the universe is gonna pick some chicken that's been stuck in its teeth for ages out and it's already anticipating the satisfaction of it. Does that make sense?”

“No, not at all.”

“Hehehe, oh wells, we’ll know it when we see it. Wanna go grab something to eat?” Destiny asked, changing topics.

“Ok, sounds good!” beamed Laser and they swam off together to catch some lunch.